Release from a relationship

[WildHairedWoman]

Originally Posted by iamthat

A difficult situation. But fear is not a good basis for remaining in a relationship. You are not happy where you are, but the alternative of losing everything seems worse. It sounds as if your partner is using this fear to control you. As long as you remain stuck you deny yourself the opportunity to create the life you want.

The Law of Attraction may help if you really use the power of visualisation, trust and gratitude to create some way out of this situation. Or you could try using Ho'oponopono on your partner, and he or she might become much more reasonable. Stranger things have happened.

Peace.

iamthat,

Have you ever used Ho'oponopono or did you just buy the book or the seminar? I agree that a lot of what goes on around us is colored by what we think about the people we interact with, but there is no way any of us has control over anyone else unless they give it to us. And that is what Ho'oponopono is suggesting, that every other person can be changed, thoughts and actions, by our praying for them or what ever that author calls it. If it really worked then there would not be so much family struggle between religious people praying for their "loved" ones to be converted to their religion or to change some other aspect of their behavior. We have no right to expect someone else to change to match our picture of reality. That is not why any of us are here. I am not talking about boundaries, you have to have boundaries and walk away from people who don't respect them. I am talking about thinking you can "heal" someone or change the way someone thinks by thinking anything about them or at them (or writing it down or what ever that guy claims).

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by WildHairedWoman

iamthat,

Have you ever used Ho'oponopono or did you just buy the book or the seminar? I agree that a lot of what goes on around us is colored by what we think about the people we interact with, but there is no way any of us has control over anyone else unless they give it to us. And that is what Ho'oponopono is suggesting, that every other person can be changed, thoughts and actions, by our praying for them or what ever that author calls it. If it really worked then there would not be so much family struggle between religious people praying for their "loved" ones to be converted to their religion or to change some other aspect of their behavior. We have no right to expect someone else to change to match our picture of reality. That is not why any of us are here. I am not talking about boundaries, you have to have boundaries and walk away from people who don't respect them. I am talking about thinking you can "heal" someone or change the way someone thinks by thinking anything about them or at them (or writing it down or what ever that guy claims).

Hi WildHairedWoman

The basic premise of Ho'oponopono is that we are responsible for any stressful situation which manifests in our lives. On some level, something within us has caused this to happen. So whenever I am dealing with difficult people or a difficult situation (which actually does not happen very often) then yes, I do use Ho'oponopono.

Ho'oponopono is not about trying to change or control anyone else. It is not about trying to convert other people to my way of thinking, or expecting them to match my picture of reality. Ho'oponopono is about changing myself in my relationship to another person or a situation.

I do not need to try to change anyone else or make them behave differently. If I am responsible for causing something then the solution lies within me. And I find that when I change myself by practising the four simple steps of Ho'oponopono, then my situation also changes.

The principle is similar to Byron Katie's Work. Because we cannot change anyone else - what other people do or think is beyond my control. But I can change myself. By healing myself I no longer cause the stressful situation to manifest in my life. And in the process other people may change or simply disappear from my life, but all I am doing is releasing the cause within myself.

Peace.

[WildHairedWoman]

iamthat,

Thank you for your answer. The main thing I have read about Ho'oponopono is that crazy story about the psychiatrist who was sent to a mental hospital and "cured" everyone in it by sitting with each person's chart and apologising for what ever diagnosis they had, and he never once went out of his office to speak to any patient and eventually the mental hospital closed because all the patients were discharged. That story is nothing like you described and seems far fetched anyway.

I agree, our relationships are our responsibility and our perceptions and misunderstandings of others cause a lot of stress and strife. In the case of the OP I think he/she is responsible as well and none of us can help except with support and suggestions, though a family member or friend could help by being an advocate who is present or providing a place to stay.

[iamthat]

I am familiar with the story of Dr Hew Len and the mental hospital. As far as I know, it is a true story.

The story goes that he sat in his office with each patient's files and practised Ho'oponopono. He accepted responsibility for manifesting each patient in his life, and used the four steps to apologise for whatever he might have done to cause this to happen. As you say, he never met any of the patients.

A therapist in Hawaii was called in to help at the Hawaii State hospital where the insane patients were totally out of control.

The ward where they kept the criminally insane patients was a dangerous place. Psychologists would quit on a monthly basis and the staff would call in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through the ward with their backs against the wall because they were afraid of being attacked by the patients.

It was not a safe place to work.

Dr Ihaleakala Hew Len, an expert in the spiritual practice, Ho’oponopono, was asked if he would work there and see what he could do.

Dr Hew Len (for short), agreed to see what he could do. So he worked there for three years and by the end of that time the ward was closed because all the patients had healed.

Dr Hew Len never saw any of the patients professionally or counselled them at all, all he did and agreed to do was review their files.

While he studied their files, he would work on himself – he would repeat a mantra over and over – and miraculously, gradually all the patients began to heal.

After a few months of Dr Hew Len being there, patients who had been shackled started being allowed to walk freely; others who’d been heavily medicated, started getting their medications reduced; and those who had been seen as having no chance of ever being released, were being released and freed.

Not only that, but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. They ended up having more staff than they needed, because patients were being released and all the staff were showing up to work every day.

Dr Hew Len explained, “I was simply cleaning the part of me that I shared with them.”

The only way I can explain it is this… Ho’oponopono recognises we are all part of one consciousness, and as such, everything that is in our experience is affected by our actions/reactions. We are responsible for everything we experience!

Dr Hew Len explains, “total responsibility for your life, means that everything in your life, simply because it is in your life, is your responsibility. In a literal sense, the entire world is your creation.”

In other words, what he is saying is, we are living in a shared consciousness/a shared hologram if you like, where if one person’s consciousness changes, it can change the whole.

“The only task in your life and mine is the restoration of our Identities ~ our Minds ~ back to their original state of void or zero.” ~ Ihaleakala Hew Len.

Peace.

[WildHairedWoman]

So I have typed this twice and gotten logged off. I think the story is hokum and that the real story would be while Dr. Len is sitting in his office apologizing, what was the staff doing differently that effected the changes in the patients?

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by WildHairedWoman

So I have typed this twice and gotten logged off. I think the story is hokum and that the real story would be while Dr. Len is sitting in his office apologizing, what was the staff doing differently that effected the changes in the patients?

You are entitled to your opinion. In a world where we are are all connected I do not underestimate the power of consciousness to bring about change.

Peace.

Originally Posted by iamthat

You are entitled to your opinion. In a world where we are are all connected I do not underestimate the power of consciousness to bring about change.

Peace.

Thank you, iamthat.



JL

[Empowers]

In terms of law of attraction, that which you focus on you get. So if you focus on that which you do not want, in other words "how to get released from this relationship" you are putting your attention on the thing to don't want and will get more of the same, vibrationally. Maybe you'll find your way out of this relationship but you'll end up holding the vibration and still match it.

The way to get out of what you don't want and into what you want is the same thing both ways... focus only on that which you desire. Start seeing evidence of it in your current life. Start vibrating the reality of what your want and its existence will catch up to you.

And if the relationship that your are in now does not match that new vibration, then it will fall away naturally.

It is this easy -in terms of straight law of attraction. Doing it from a human perspective is always the hardest part. But if that is your intent, then you just course correct along the way. Always come back to focus when you feel yourself stray away. Eventually, your predominant vibration will match that which you desire and the world around you will match you.