My friend thinks I am a soulmate runner

[Sarian]

Some of the things I read here remind me of obsessed stalkers and I imagine the people they claim are TF's probably feel as you do. That said, I'd be pretty bothered and troubled by someone reacting and behaving as this guy is. Don't give mixed signals, but I'd say he's going to have a very hard time with you and another and his way of thinking and emotions are too unhealthy. I think you need to end the relationship.

I know of this guy who is in his 60s and he's head over heels in love with a woman in her 20s, who is pregnant too. She has told him in no uncertain terms that she is NOT interested. This guy has been obsessed with her for years now and even the place where this woman works had to email and tell him to leave her alone.

Be careful regarding this guy.

[frenchbread]

Ok I haven't read this whole thread but to the OP, if this guy has feelings for you and you do not feel the same for him, you need to tell him this so you both can be on the same page about it.

DO NOT give him mixed signals. Be open and honest.

If he still doesn't understand it and still pursues you, then you need to physically distance yourself from him if it bothers you. Hopefully, with you telling him that you do not feel the same, he will understand and learn to respect your boundaries.

Originally Posted by Sarian

Some of the things I read here remind me of obsessed stalkers and I imagine the people they claim are TF's probably feel as you do. That said, I'd be pretty bothered and troubled by someone reacting and behaving as this guy is. Don't give mixed signals, but I'd say he's going to have a very hard time with you and another and his way of thinking and emotions are too unhealthy. I think you need to end the relationship.

I know of this guy who is in his 60s and he's head over heels in love with a woman in her 20s, who is pregnant too. She has told him in no uncertain terms that she is NOT interested. This guy has been obsessed with her for years now and even the place where this woman works had to email and tell him to leave her alone.

Be careful regarding this guy.

This is what is soooo tough about these connections. This is what makes validation soooooo important to most of us. It truly sucks monster keester to be into another person sooo much and also be in the dark as to if the connection is mutually felt due to fear of rejection.

For some it is a loooooong drawn out deliacate dance to build up to that point where you are brave enough to face the possibility of being rejected when you ask if the other person has feelings for you. For others, it may be a very direct experience. They may pursue openly while letting their feelings and intentions be known from the start. And then there are those who fall into the stalking/obsessed bracket. They feel soooo convicted in their feelings that they will not take no for an answer!

I feel, there is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone from afar. However, if the object of one's affection makes it known the feelings are not mutual, the only healthy thing to do is to move on. No form of stalking is okay. No form of unhealthy obsession is okay. That is why, while I feel sorry for this guy, I think he needs to be sat down and told that you are not interested in him period. Cutting all contact with him after being very clear as to why you are doing so is probably your best bet.

Definitely trust your gut. This is happening to me right now.
If I hadn't met my TF first, I'd be confused with this other man, thinking, what if he's my soul connection and I'm running from him because of what he mirrors.

My TF journey has taught me to not self doubt and trust my intuition.
This is what intuition has told me. Yes this guy (not my TF) is wonderful, caring, thoughtful, but there is a side that repulsed me. I could not put my finger on it.
Logic tells me he ticks all the boxes. He is hot, he is romantic, he has intellect but I still feel anxiety around him. I've come to realize that even though I am upfront and have no feelings or interest in a relationship, he will still inundate me constantly with love and kisses and constant messaging and forcing himself in my life, getting funny about me going out without him.
Intuition tells me that he is so hell bent on me being perfect for him, that he has no consideration that it is not mutual. He wants to 'fix' me and take me in as his own.
My heart is not with him yet he doesn't care.

My gut instinct was confirmed whe I spoke to a mutual friend and she opened up about this side to him that doesn't sit well with me.

Don't listen to **** that you will grow to love him. If there are no feelings there, don't force it.
If that changes in the future, well you'll know then.

Until then, listen to your gut. The heart wants what the heart wants.
And I sure as heck know it's not him!