My friend thinks I am a soulmate runner

Originally Posted by Atomic

Hi belina - you should honour your feelings above his - and do this without guilt - as he is holding you to him through guilt - this is NOT love this is ATTACHMENT and OBSESSION - and out of love you can let him go - through telling him that regardless of what he believes you don't want a relationship with him and if he truly loved you he would respect your wishes - and to achieve this you also need to stop the contact with him, otherwise he will not be able to move on. In this I agree with Nada - but I don't believe that he is a soulmate or twin - as you would know in your heart too, regardless if you feel physical attraction to him - I can tell you this from experience as my twin is a runner and I let him run out of love but I also know that I feel his love too. I have had experience with this kind if attachment and obsession and it is scary and very UNHEALTHY - and this is what is probably repulsing you and for your own sake you need to get away from him - he will be angry and refuse to accept it -quite possibly - but if he makes trouble for you, you need to think about your own scared right to feel safe and respected - and do what you need to do - ie report him to the police if he stalks you or infringes on your privacy - I know this sounds extreme but in the end this is what I had to do to stop a person that I cared about but he could not accept boundaries. More than likely it will not be so extreme for you if he can function normally in other parts of his life - but in this area you need to act - He is just being selfish and blaming you - it doesn't matter if you were his soulmate - he has no right to manipulate you with this nonsense. Be strong and do what you have to do - stand up for yourself - I feel this is a hard lesson for YOU - I send you love and ask for divine love and protection for both of you. - Atomic

I agree with this and what serpent queen said. Your journey is yours. If you don't want him in it, he will have to deal with it plain and simple. However, sending mixed messages is not cool either.

If the love of my life ever told me she wasn't interested, I don't care how long or hard I love her, I'd completely respect that and move on. I'd be crushed for some time but I'd definitely move on. I'd never in infinity years ever attempt to guilt her into loving me. That's just terrible!

Originally Posted by Nada

I would agree with Serpent and Sesheta, IF this is a regular relationship in most other situations.

Saying someone is a soul connection does not give anyone a special pass for bad behavior.

3. He feels very strongly about his belief so he is not going to just go away.

A belief does not make it real, and this is perfect illustration of that fact. Belina does not reciprocate his romantic feelings -- no matter how strongly he believes they are meant to be together. He believes she is running from real love, when in the reality is she is running from a crazy stalking maniac who physically repulses her.

See? Belief is not everything. Belief does not make it so. Belief, in fact, can sometimes be a harmful, dangerous delusion.

He probably has invested lots of his emotions, energy, time, and resources into this connection.

Undoubtedly. Which is why Belina should control what she can control, and put a hasty end to her part of the equation, which is continued contact and any behavior that could fuel his false hope. Doing anything less is cruelty.

I am sure that his connection with her and her reactions are very painful to him as well.
The reality is that he is not able to just let go.

The reality is that he's mired in a false belief, which is completely clouding his ability to see Belina for who she really is, a person who may care about him as a friend only, but is not in love with him, never was, and who is in fact physically repulsed by him.

I say it often: Love is seeing someone for who they truly are. Even if it hurts and disappoints. This man does not love Belina.

It would be easy for him if he can just walk away since it probably is very painful for him.
But he can NOT.

Of course I very well know what it feels like to be stuck and feel like it's impossible to move on. But you know what? "Cannot" is not true, and it's downright harmful to believe it. "Cannot" is a cop out. "Cannot" becomes an excuse - for bad behavior that is anything but loving!

We can not control other's perspectives and feelings.
However, we can control our own by understanding the reasons and by reaching peace within.

And it is well within Belina's control to set firm boundaries.

MAYBE she can do so gently, and somehow salvage a friendship out of this, but I doubt it. It sounds like this has gone on for too long now.

I do feel sorry for the guy. Unrequited love hurts.

[Mr Interesting]

I remember a few years ago when I got schitzo stalker over a woman... I mean I still gave her space but this thing was going on in my head that was driving me nuts. When I would get in close with her, and believe when I say I was holding back even within that, it was absolutely lovely and soulful so the whole thing was driving me batty.

So I got outside help from a clairvoyant who does reading through email and she said this woman had been a wife in a past life and she'd drowned pregnant leaving me heartbroken with four other kids to look after... As soon as I read this it made complete and utter sense and I was able to let her go... just like that. All the craziness just went away.

I'd been looking for her in every woman I met up until then and ended up being stupid and self serving so often but since then I've been able to have women as friends with no attachment or need... she, of course, this woman I went nuts over, had let me go at death I suppose and while there was a fondness from her end... the story was over.

So maybe this guy can't help being nutso and he needs some help to look deeper in his need to fulfill his fantasy 'cause the fantasy ain't there for no good reason... it's there because he's needs to deal with something and it may very well concern our heroine, even while her part in the story has ended... but a few loose ends have arrived to be finally sorted... not her responsibility, I agree, but he did arrive at her door.

[Emm]

I agree with everyone here but can I ask...do you know why he thinks you are his soulmate? Is there something specific that happened to him to think so?

Originally Posted by Mr Interesting

I remember a few years ago when I got schitzo stalker over a woman... I mean I still gave her space but this thing was going on in my head that was driving me nuts. When I would get in close with her, and believe when I say I was holding back even within that, it was absolutely lovely and soulful so the whole thing was driving me batty.

So I got outside help from a clairvoyant who does reading through email and she said this woman had been a wife in a past life and she'd drowned pregnant leaving me heartbroken with four other kids to look after... As soon as I read this it made complete and utter sense and I was able to let her go... just like that. All the craziness just went away.

I'd been looking for her in every woman I met up until then and ended up being stupid and self serving so often but since then I've been able to have women as friends with no attachment or need... she, of course, this woman I went nuts over, had let me go at death I suppose and while there was a fondness from her end... the story was over.

So maybe this guy can't help being nutso and he needs some help to look deeper in his need to fulfill his fantasy 'cause the fantasy ain't there for no good reason... it's there because he's needs to deal with something and it may very well concern our heroine, even while her part in the story has ended... but a few loose ends have arrived to be finally sorted... not her responsibility, I agree, but he did arrive at her door.

Yeah.
This is similar to my findings when I had to look into my past lives for the reasons of my strong connection with my SC and of his inability to let go.
My SC has been around me for 25years, off and on.

We had many reincarnations together - in double digits and we share a certain karmic agreement on top of all that (positive one but still).
Along with our many many lives, we also repeat a certain cycle.

I was told about the same/similar past lives effects about my soul connection from different gifted clairvoyants for 20years.
However, I kept denying it and did not believe it until I just had to accept the truth.

Once I accepted it, I found my peace and unconditional love for my sc.
Now I understand why he has been acting that ways. And I just want to reach out to heal him.

I used to consider him as an unstable stalker until 10years ago so we came a long way from that.

I used to ignore him and etc.

But trust me.
If your SC feels that kind of strong connection with you, he will always come back into your life somehow, even years later.
Your SC has been around you for 8years already and he is not going away, not permanently.

So, instead of waiting 20years to accept the reasons (as I did), you may need to find the reasons now to reach the inner peace for both of you. You two can both come to an understanding.

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

• Saying someone is a soul connection does not give anyone a special pass for bad behavior.
• Belief is not everything. Belief does not make it so. Belief, in fact, can sometimes be a harmful, dangerous delusion.
• Belina should control what she can control
• I say it often: Love is seeing someone for who they truly are. Even if it hurts and disappoints.
• "Cannot" becomes an excuse - for bad behavior that is anything but loving!
• it is well within Belina's control to set firm boundaries.

.

Yeah. I agree with all of your points.
But I had been in a similar situation as Belina. (except mine has been going on for 25years, off and on)
Hers has been going on for 8years already.
This is not something that can be simply dismissed.
This kind of connection requires healing from the past lives by finding the reasons from the past lives.
Otherwise, both of them would be connected for the rest of their lives with pain and confusion.
They are still friends and that is a great positive since they can find the reasons together.

I wish that I kept my SC as a friend, rather than kept him away from me.
I did not know any better.

Originally Posted by Nada

I would agree with Serpent and Sesheta, IF this is a regular relationship in most other situations.

However, the both of your solutions of "just let him go" are NOT going to work in this situation (trust me on this).

1. They have already been friends for 8years.
He is not just another guy that she just met and has not established a physical friendship.

2. She also feels the strong connection.
Hence the reason why she could not let go of him subconsciously and why she is here for advice on this TF/SM spiritual section.
I am sure that she knows how to reject guys that she does not have any connection.
She is confused about the connection and feels uncomfortable without knowing the reasons.

3. He feels very strongly about his belief so he is not going to just go away.
He probably has invested lots of his emotions, energy, time, and resources into this connection.
I am sure that his connection with her and her reactions are very painful to him as well.
The reality is that he is not able to just let go.
It would be easy for him if he can just walk away since it probably is very painful for him.
But he can NOT.

We can not control other's perspectives and feelings.
However, we can control our own by understanding the reasons and by reaching peace within.

I totally agree with your assessment of the situation........

[Mr Interesting]

And the woman who may be my Tf/Sc whatever was somewhat revealed to me after a dream and I went to a healer. I hadn't seen her for 'bout 15 years and was doing my best to forget about her. So after this weird dream where she basically says she wants to try again I have to resolve things and the healer does her work and afterwards says indeed you two go way back with multiple incarnations together but last time you, as in me, broke her heart so shes both attracted and repulsed by you... torn. This made total sense and stuff like that is either fairy tales you can see right through or it hit's you deep and you get it.

So maybe he's just followin' his instinct's the only way he knows how and you are doin' exactly the same... neither of you knowin' what those instincts actually are.... find some outside help that can see under the veils.

Other than that I could only say count of the sychronicity and exotic happenings while you're together or comin' together. Does it get weird? If it does chances are it goes deeper than the surface tensions.

[Impulsv]

My past life revealed I had treated him horrible but out of love because I was a monk. So pushed tf away n in another i had committed suicide.I always felt him being torn between liking me n not knowing why. He said it himself he can't explain why it's not there for him, romantically, but can't let me go either. I haven't discussed with him My finding but I understand his fear of hurting me n hesitation due past lives. It made sense n it did ease the confusion. But the cycle is not broken yet or maybe it's up to me to completely walk from the freindship he offered. I do know he has caring feelings for me. Guess my karma to redeem myself.
So yes i do Believe our past play into perhaps your feeling of repulsión. Yet u like him enough to keep the conversation from what i read.

Human history is riddled with tragedies, turmoil, wars, injustices, unforeseen catastrophes, devastating diseases, and natural disasters.

Human beings are not perfect.
Cruelties, egos, judgments, prejudices, deceits, and greed have been the aspects of our human minds and instincts.

Our soul connections are imbedded in the darkness of our human history and the imperfect nature of human beings.

Therefore, when our souls journey together through multiple incarnations, we both scar each other with heart breaks and pain, unintentionally and inevitably.

Between I and my own SC, there are many shared heart breaks as well.. many painful events.
These history of our past lives directly has impacted our relationship dynamics.

Even our unconditional love that is the foundation of our togetherness had caused additional pain and scarring due to self-blaming and guilt.

Hence the reasons why mutual friendship with unconditional love and peace can bring healing to both souls.

Struggling and insisting on being lovers when those past wounds are still bleeding are not good for the souls.

Avoiding to heal these wounds and denying these past effects would repeat the cycle and would cause even deeper wounds.

How we handle and heal our wounds would ultimately be the underlying layers of our next lives together.
We can repeat the painful cycles into the next lives OR we can turn things around... back to our initial loving intentions.

With knowledge, acceptance, love, and friendship, everything is possible.
Let go of egos and open your heart to other possibilities.