Fell Deeply In Love with Spiritual Teacher! Help

bluebird21 · #1 03-12-2018, 06:08 AM

Hi All,

So I thought to myself tonight, heck, I mineaswell post on SF which I rarely do anymore about this, perhaps I'll get some awesome wise feedback.

Two years ago I met a very well respected spiritual (Buddhist, I am a Buddhist) teacher. There was an immediate and very strong connection, sense of knowing each other deeply even though we had just met. We chatted and spent some time together (entirely non-romantic.) He took an instant liking to me, gave me a book, and was very encouraging. I proceeded to do a meditation retreat with him, and during this retreat we got to know each other well and I admitted to him I had fallen in love with him by the end. He also expressed to me that he loved me. During our private talks, as I spoke to him about my life, my fears, whatever was coming up for me he'd often cry tears of devotion/reverence. One time he expressed to me that he saw me as the embodiment of The Divine Mother. All throughout this time, there were *very clear* physical boundaries between us. He has very high integrity as a teacher in that regard and that is why I felt so safe to be so vulnerable.

Following my retreat I had a PROFOUND experience of completely merging with and surrendering to him spiritually-sexually during meditation, which lead to what I can only describe as a glimpse of enlightenment. I felt as if I had woken up in a dream and was completely in the NOW and I was the whole Universe...

My teacher said to me at the beginning of our student-teacher relationship that we've known each other before in a past life. He also said later on that he felt I was HIS teacher before!!! Which is funny because though in this life I am his student, I feel this entirely inscrutable and extraordinarily powerful commitment to him as my student to wake him up. It is SO ODD!!!

So here is the kicker: he is 40!! years older than I am. I have tried to just stop loving him, but that doesn't seem to be working. When I told my family they thought love is love and that age shouldn't matter. I was completely shocked by this response! LOL. I am, no longer his student as it got to complicated for me, and I think also for him.

I feel called to just trust my heart and stay open. Perhaps send him a little holiday gift and a note, just something sweet to let him know my heart is still open to him. What do you all think? Please don't be rude. This has been an extraordinarily powerful and at times very confusing soul connection for me. ❤️

Also I don't want this moved to soulmate/twinflame forum. This is not romantic love.... it's something beyond that.

Shaunc · #2 03-12-2018, 06:30 AM

For the relationship to go any further he would have to disrobe, assuming he is a monastic, if however he is from a Japanese sect this would not be necessary as Japanese Buddhist priests are permitted to have wives/lovers.
The practicalities of the relationship must also be looked at, how is he going to make a living when his only position held on his resume is Buddhist monk.
Good luck and best wishes to both of you whichever path you choose to take.

sky · #3 03-12-2018, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Hi All,

So I thought to myself tonight, heck, I mineaswell post on SF which I rarely do anymore about this, perhaps I'll get some awesome wise feedback.

Two years ago I met a very well respected spiritual (Buddhist, I am a Buddhist) teacher. There was an immediate and very strong connection, sense of knowing each other deeply even though we had just met. We chatted and spent some time together (entirely non-romantic.) He took an instant liking to me, gave me a book, and was very encouraging. I proceeded to do a meditation retreat with him, and during this retreat we got to know each other well and I admitted to him I had fallen in love with him by the end. He also expressed to me that he loved me. During our private talks, as I spoke to him about my life, my fears, whatever was coming up for me he'd often cry tears of devotion/reverence. One time he expressed to me that he saw me as the embodiment of The Divine Mother. All throughout this time, there were *very clear* physical boundaries between us. He has very high integrity as a teacher in that regard and that is why I felt so safe to be so vulnerable.

Following my retreat I had a PROFOUND experience of completely merging with and surrendering to him spiritually-sexually during meditation, which lead to what I can only describe as a glimpse of enlightenment. I felt as if I had woken up in a dream and was completely in the NOW and I was the whole Universe...

My teacher said to me at the beginning of our student-teacher relationship that we've known each other before in a past life. He also said later on that he felt I was HIS teacher before!!! Which is funny because though in this life I am his student, I feel this entirely inscrutable and extraordinarily powerful commitment to him as my student to wake him up. It is SO ODD!!!

So here is the kicker: he is 40!! years older than I am. I have tried to just stop loving him, but that doesn't seem to be working. When I told my family they thought love is love and that age shouldn't matter. I was completely shocked by this response! LOL. I am, no longer his student as it got to complicated for me, and I think also for him.

I feel called to just trust my heart and stay open. Perhaps send him a little holiday gift and a note, just something sweet to let him know my heart is still open to him. What do you all think? Please don't be rude. This has been an extraordinarily powerful and at times very confusing soul connection for me. ❤️

Also I don't want this moved to soulmate/twinflame forum. This is not romantic love.... it's something beyond that.

You say that you are a Buddhist Teacher yourself then you should contemplate on what Buddha would have advised regarding your situation, the fact that you are seeking advice from others should be a warning sign.

Be careful

BTW Buddhist don't believe in a soul.

Miss Hepburn · #4 03-12-2018, 06:20 PM

bluebird, I'm not seeing the problem.
That doesn't help does it.

Buy Gary Renard's book on Jesus and Buddha....chronicling their many lives and diff relationships with each other....
channeled by the 2 masters that visit him, that know stuff.

Feel the love and USE it for further glimpses of 'enlightenment'.
Why do you think the love is there, dear sis?
It's a d-o-o-r...use it.
(Lucky...don't waste this opportunity.)

Tap into your clarity and confidence...it's right there in you.

Hemera · #5 03-12-2018, 07:59 PM

I think the only way forward here is to speak to him directly about how confused you are and what you both want from this, if indeed there is anything more to 'have' from it.

He told you he loves you..however what that means in terms of how he sees things with you, may be very different to how you see things.

It does sound like the relationship has given you a wonderful transcendent experience and that there is a deep (soul?) connection between you, but thats just my perspective from your words, and there's no way of knowing how it's going to progress in terms of living out both your lives on this plane. To find that out, you need to talk to him about it and be honest. You could try sending him a gift, but I wonder if given the depth of your connection if it would be better not to beat around the bush but to just come out with it and tell him what you feel and what you want from him (if you even know).

Age really doesn't matter imo. It's just a number. Push that to the back of your mind.

Regardless of what happens or doesn't happen, it sounds a wonderful experience!

bluebird21 · #6 04-12-2018, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaunc

For the relationship to go any further he would have to disrobe, assuming he is a monastic, if however he is from a Japanese sect this would not be necessary as Japanese Buddhist priests are permitted to have wives/lovers.
The practicalities of the relationship must also be looked at, how is he going to make a living when his only position held on his resume is Buddhist monk.
Good luck and best wishes to both of you whichever path you choose to take.

Thanks Shaunc. Yes there is more thinking about logistics and what I actually want in order. ❤️

bluebird21 · #7 04-12-2018, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sky123

You say that you are a Buddhist Teacher yourself then you should contemplate on what Buddha would have advised regarding your situation, the fact that you are seeking advice from others should be a warning sign.

Be careful

BTW Buddhist don't believe in a soul.

We buddhists believe in an array of different things. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for advice either.

bluebird21 · #8 04-12-2018, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

bluebird, I'm not seeing the problem.
That doesn't help does it.

Buy Gary Renard's book on Jesus and Buddha....chronicling their many lives and diff relationships with each other....
channeled by the 2 masters that visit him, that know stuff.

Feel the love and USE it for further glimpses of 'enlightenment'.
Why do you think the love is there, dear sis?
It's a d-o-o-r...use it.
(Lucky...don't waste this opportunity.)

Tap into your clarity and confidence...it's right there in you.

Hi Miss H, Yay! I must admit, I had you in mind when I decided to post. I had hoped you'd respond so thank you. I believe you hit the nail on the head... this is a door. My mind seems to think I need to DO something about this love lol! How bout just feel it ;) ❤️ Love to you.

bluebird21 · #9 04-12-2018, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hemera

I think the only way forward here is to speak to him directly about how confused you are and what you both want from this, if indeed there is anything more to 'have' from it.

He told you he loves you..however what that means in terms of how he sees things with you, may be very different to how you see things.

It does sound like the relationship has given you a wonderful transcendent experience and that there is a deep (soul?) connection between you, but thats just my perspective from your words, and there's no way of knowing how it's going to progress in terms of living out both your lives on this plane. To find that out, you need to talk to him about it and be honest. You could try sending him a gift, but I wonder if given the depth of your connection if it would be better not to beat around the bush but to just come out with it and tell him what you feel and what you want from him (if you even know).

Age really doesn't matter imo. It's just a number. Push that to the back of your mind.

Regardless of what happens or doesn't happen, it sounds a wonderful experience!

Hi Hemera, thank you for your response. Yes honesty is always the key! And thanks for sharing your opinion about age being just a number when it comes to love. ❤️

sky · #10 04-12-2018, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebird21

We buddhists believe in an array of different things. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for advice either.

Yes Buddhists do believe in an array of different things and Anatta is very important. Yes I agree there is nothing wrong with asking for advice but we usually ask when we are unsure of our own decisions. As Buddha would advise, use wisdom to decide, good luck.