Hard to love others? Been lied to and betrayed? Step right up...let's help each other

[Miss Hepburn]

Does that sound good?
Does to me!!!

Got any helpful insights or hints as to how to forgive even the worst hurts and slights?
Ha, and then move right on into Love, Kindness, Compassion and Understanding?

This is the place!

[Baile]

Miss Hepburn, maybe I'm weird or off or unenlightened! I feel I have plenty of compassion for people; for people who aren't in very good circumstances for example. I picked up a hitchhiker in a snow storm two years ago. He was trying to get to a city 400 miles away but had no money and hadn't eaten. I drove to the bank and gave him $100, then drove him to the bus station.

And I'm extremely conscious and kind to people I meet, and I'm light and funny and even go out of my way to brighten their day. Especially people in the service industry; I feel compassion for people who have to put up with the nonsense that service people put up with.

But in no way do I ever feel it necessary to love people. Just no. What I do is already enough! No!

[Shivani Devi]

I figured that this thread comes on the back of "Does God Want Us To Be Perfect?" thread.

I started off loving my parents, found out they didn't even want me and I was 'unplanned' - I was sexually and physically abused by my father, totally ignored by my mother and left to rot.

I had no friends in school and growing up...I was bullied, teased, made fun of and bashed outside the school gates every afternoon.

The only person who ever seemed to care was grandma, but she died when I was very young.

Got married...was treated like a slave and as long as my husband's shirts were ironed, his meals were ready on time and the house was kept clean, he didn't give a damn about me otherwise...we got divorced when I became totally fed up. He needed a maid and NOT a wife.

I had two children who grew up independent of me...didn't want me in their lives from day 1 and left home in their teens without giving any forwarding address...haven't seen them since.

I look at the news...I just see the people around...no consideration for others, always in a race to be 'first' at anything THEY want to do, pushing others out of the way...trampling people underfoot...a lot of people seem no better than animals and I thought we had intelligence! I thought we had progressed beyond our 'animal nature'...who was I kidding?

Of course I can love the 'spark of the Divine' in people...in a rock...in a tree...in a dog...but I cannot love the behaviour of people and it's hard for me to feel love and compassion for those who 'make their own beds' and then whine that they can't get a good night's sleep.

Also, being autistic, I was born without the ability to feel empathy or compassion and I have tried to learn how, until I discovered that this is something which cannot be learned or taught...you either have it or you don't...and I don't.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I figured that this thread comes on the back of "Does God Want Us To Be Perfect?" thread.

I started off loving my parents, found out they didn't even want me and I was 'unplanned' - I was sexually and physically abused by my father, totally ignored by my mother and left to rot.

I had no friends in school and growing up...I was bullied, teased, made fun of and bashed outside the school gates every afternoon.

The only person who ever seemed to care was grandma, but she died when I was very young.

Got married...was treated like a slave and as long as my husband's shirts were ironed, his meals were ready on time and the house was kept clean, he didn't give a damn about me otherwise...we got divorced when I became totally fed up. He needed a maid and NOT a wife.

I had two children who grew up independent of me...didn't want me in their lives from day 1 and left home in their teens without giving any forwarding address...haven't seen them since.

I look at the news...I just see the people around...no consideration for others, always in a race to be 'first' at anything THEY want to do, pushing others out of the way...trampling people underfoot...a lot of people seem no better than animals and I thought we had intelligence! I thought we had progressed beyond our 'animal nature'...who was I kidding?

Of course I can love the 'spark of the Divine' in people...in a rock...in a tree...in a dog...but I cannot love the behaviour of people and it's hard for me to feel love and compassion for those who 'make their own beds' and then whine that they can't get a good night's sleep.

Also, being autistic, I was born without the ability to feel empathy or compassion and I have tried to learn how, until I discovered that this is something which cannot be learned or taught...you either have it or you don't...and I don't.

according to your story you have been through hell. I am sure you built up walls to protect yourself. But you do feel empathy and compassion for others. If you didn't you wouldn't be here.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by hallow

according to your story you have been through hell. I am sure you built up walls to protect yourself. But you do feel empathy and compassion for others. If you didn't you wouldn't be here.

Or maybe I am just totally bored with my own company and like having 'other people' to talk to for a change.... totally ignoring those who tell me that 'other people' are just 'me' anyway.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Or maybe I am just totally bored with my own company and like having 'other people' to talk to for a change.... totally ignoring those who tell me that 'other people' are just 'me' anyway.

HAHAHA! I so know the feeling. I'll will admit I am my own worse enemy at times.

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by Baile

Miss Hepburn, maybe I'm weird or off or unenlightened! I feel I have plenty of compassion for people; for people who aren't in very good circumstances for example. I picked up a hitchhiker in a snow storm two years ago. He was trying to get to a city 400 miles away but had no money and hadn't eaten. I drove to the bank and gave him $100, then drove him to the bus station.

And I'm extremely conscious and kind to people I meet, and I'm light and funny and even go out of my way to brighten their day. Especially people in the service industry; I feel compassion for people who have to put up with the nonsense that service people put up with.

But in no way do I ever feel it necessary to love people. Just no. What I do is already enough! No!

That's Love Baby ..

There seems to be many strings to Love's bow ..

Sometimes being cruel to be kind is Love in action ..

I think the blissful Love bunny boat thing is a bit of a red herring in this world .

In other realms it is easier to love everybody because everybody is being themselves so to speak beyond the veil of ignorance .

It is easy to love your neighbour who isn't causing suffering to another or to you .

You will find many conversations had of peeps who claim to be all floaty and loving to all and come a little unstuck when presented with hypothetical situations of abuse and such likes .

To love everyone, one must see love in everything .

You won't see love in action when a child is being abused by the hand of another .

There won't be a happy smiley guru type loving them do that ..

Like said, this world is a reflection of love and fear and all that jazz, so when a bliss bunny peep witnesses this world full of dual expressions then they will receive dual judgements in reflection of them .





x daz x

[Starman]

I mentioned that I was in an institution as a child; I went back to that institution as an adult, after getting a grad degree in social work, and I worked there. It was really something to work with kids who were in the same situation, at the same institution that I was in as a kid. I let them know that I had been in that institution as a kid also. It was like "full-circle" work, and the kids, without even knowing, helped me to better understand myself.

Sometimes kids would act out, throw a tantrum, yell, etc., and I would grab them to keep them from hurting themselves. I began to notice when I grabbed them and held them close with both arms around them, they would snuggle against me and calm down. It dawned on me that all most of them wanted was a hug, and coming out of a dysfunctional family many did not know how to ask for a hug, so they acted out, hoping someone would grab them and hug them.

The social workers had a saying, "children do not need to behave to be loved but they need to be loved to behave." I would say that this saying can also apply to adults. People generally interpret what love is differently. Lots of people believe that love is when you buy a person a gift. If you loved me you will do this or that. But I have found that love is a presence that stands alone on its' own without any interpretation.

If I have to keep telling a person that I love them it may be because they don't feel love coming from me. Love for the sake of love and no other reason. I believe that we are here to spread love, to bring the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth, while we are still in human form. Love is the currency of life and how we spend it will determine our true wealth.

P.S. We can transform others just with our presence, without saying or doing anything. If we can be effected by a person's presence (vibe) negatively then we can also be uplifted by a person's presence. Spiritual teachers, Sat-gurus in India and elsewhere, can transform a person while the teacher, and student, are sitting still and saying nothing; it is called "darshan." With a regular deepening of our own spiritual presence we can do that as well. In fact, beyond words or actions, I don't think we actually know how we effect others.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by God-Like

That's Love Baby ..

Thank you. My compassion has been expanding since I started putting food out for the animals. I feel so much love and compassion for these creatures. The beautiful birds that come to eat! I put apples out for the deer in the back, and we have staring contests from a distance, but they don't run off! And the sweetest porcupine comes up on the deck every night for its seeds, my heart melts for that creature, so cute, so innocent, I have come close to tears a couple times watching it eat.

I typed all that and then realized I said "love" for animals. Interesting...

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by Baile

Thank you. My compassion has been expanding since I started putting food out for the animals. I feel so much love and compassion for these creatures. The beautiful birds that come to eat! I put apples out for the deer in the back, and we have staring contests from a distance, but they don't run off! And the sweetest porcupine comes up on the deck every night for its seeds, my heart melts for that creature, so cute, so innocent, I have come close to tears a couple times watching it eat.

I typed all that and then realized I said "love" for animals. Interesting...

Some will testify that their pets are their best friends and get on better with animals than humans and I will say the same in regards to those from other planes .

There is obviously something energetic behind the scenes playing out in these instances and it refers to awareness of themselves and their nature / mindsets .

When you have everyone entertaining a similar nature and mindset there is a collective love / understanding / awareness .

When you have as many differences as their are individuals all inhabiting the same environment then sparks will fly .

To have the same love for the one that inflicts suffering and for the one that suffers is near on impossible in this worldly environment .

And sure we have the jesus thing where he say's "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." this is not the same as loving the one that murders your wife or child the same .

I suppose Love is one of things that will be talked about forevermore and unconditional Love will present even more debates lol ...

What I was trying to get at is how peeps react to what is observed when there is suffering had by the hand of another .

If you see love in all and in everything then there would not be the initial responce to help or save one from suffering .

There would be no judgement at all as all is love .

This is why I say that the world of duality will always contain a dual reflected judgement / action .

I don't suppose there would be anyone that would sit idly by and let someone suffer, guru types included unless there was a weird reason for why .

The heart of it all is why one would respond to stop suffering when there is only love in play and there is the same love for all .

In this scenario one would always be neutral and yet put into certain situations I would say it's near impossible to be .

One doesn't remain neutral because one has a moral compass and a conscience and one lives by them . (most of the time)



x daz x