Strange things

[M.Tesla]

In 2008 I experienced a lot of weird stuff. Can someone explain to me why these events I'll list happened to me??

It all started when I met a person who sort of catalyzed me into a new life. I had a life review and while I was healthy this happened. I remember being at a park and listening to Sarah mclachlan and enya and the energy of the planet..I mean my surroundings were just... perfect. It was like I was in heaven...no fear, no ego, it's hard to explain what I was experiencing really..I was reading books on enlightenment and consciousness, and everything just became amplified. I started to think I was in heaven and I wrote all this stuff down on paper including the persons address that made all this happen. I can't forget her now and I never will. She opened me up to everything and i dont know how she did it.

Other things I ended up in a hospital 13 miles away from home and had to walk home. It was maybe 730am and no one was awake yet or answering their phone to come get me. So I started walking and i ended up a smoke shop, I didnt go in I had to stand outside because it felt like there were three consciousness' inside me. I saw the person in Vegas with her cousin in her cousin's home. I started walking further along the highway shoulder, it was probabalt 100F outside so I tried to get in the shade of the trees after walking maybe 3 miles.. for some reason I called my dad and said some angry words at him, after I hung up my phone dropped into the creek so at that point I was SOL. No way home but to walk the 13 miles. It ended up to be probably 16 miles because I turned off the highway and explored lol. I got back to my city about 3 miles from home and a guy in a truck offers me a ride and gives me a green slushy. I was so relieved. Something about that walk..I wasn't even really "there" i was so in my own thoughts that I walked those 13 miles out of body.

I had a lot of Out of body experiences. It's like I miss that chaos but I dont want to be that ungrounded again because its friggin scary. I think now I was just mentally unwell. Probably still am a bit. I'm trying to understand why all of this happened...writing about it brings back the memory and is letting me process it.
It's like god put his light on me for a year. I developed all these abilities I could even move objects with my energy.

Shortly after that walk I ended up in a state hospital where I had to stay for close to 4 months because I was incompetent.
Idk where I'm going with this..it kinda hurts that I lost my mind at the time I was supposed to take the next step with my twin flame. I couldn't be there to do it... I guess it kills me inside that's probably why I feel so much like I failed to receive what I always wanted. I missed my chance. It makes me sad

I can't go get counseling on this how would I explain this to a counselor ? "Oh why am I sad? I was supposed to be there for the love of my life and in the instant I was supposed to support her I lost my mind and went to heaven. I failed my life."
Thanks

[Nameless]

Hmmm....I do believe there are people that are catalysts for others to wake up. That part is not unusual, and I also believe when the time comes, whenever that is, to wake up, then that's the right time, whenever that is.

You don't explain why you were in the state hospital. Because you were ungrounded? I didn't quite understand that part, you say you " lost your mind " but don't say how that manifested, and the part about the twin flame, don't understand that either.

Just trying to be helpful, but don't think you gave enough info.

Anytime God puts his light on you, I can't see that as a bad thing?

We all fail at life at times. No one is perfect. We all have our lessons to learn. The thing is, what did you learn? If you can find the answer to that question, then you are on the right track. Then I believe you don't have to repeat the lesson and can move on to the next one.

Honestly I don't know anything about twin flames, so I couldn't be of much help there. I do know that I have learned that my job is to learn to love myself, and it doesn't always come easy. I think that's the main part of this journey for everyone, because once you can love yourself, with all your faults and scars, you can love the world.

You haven't failed your life. You are not here to support anyone else but yourself, unless you have a child of course. So don't feel sad you weren't there to support her, because we all have to learn how to support ourselves first, then we can help others.

Don't take on guilt that isn't yours - my 2 cents!

As far as helping you to feel better, I think that is what you need right now. To feel better. Sometimes when I have allowed myself to not care about how I feel, I slide back down into not feeling good. The only way I can climb back out, that I have found, is to tell myself, without fail, every morning for one week, today I feel a little bit better than I did yesterday.

Sounds simple, but it's the only thing that works. The hardest part is remembering to tell myself that for one week, because I tend to forget, because I don't feel good, etc.

Once you can feel better, and that usually takes a few days to really start feeling better, you will find that things that feel better to think about will start occuring to you. I can't have thoughts of things that feel better when I don't feel better, because I can't get there from there.

You have to slowly raise your vibrations, a little bit each day. And in one week, you will be amazed.

Hope this helps :)

[M.Tesla]

OP

Originally Posted by Nameless

Hmmm....I do believe there are people that are catalysts for others to wake up. That part is not unusual, and I also believe when the time comes, whenever that is, to wake up, then that's the right time, whenever that is.

You don't explain why you were in the state hospital. Because you were ungrounded? I didn't quite understand that part, you say you " lost your mind " but don't say how that manifested, and the part about the twin flame, don't understand that either.

Just trying to be helpful, but don't think you gave enough info.

Anytime God puts his light on you, I can't see that as a bad thing?

We all fail at life at times. No one is perfect. We all have our lessons to learn. The thing is, what did you learn? If you can find the answer to that question, then you are on the right track. Then I believe you don't have to repeat the lesson and can move on to the next one.

Honestly I don't know anything about twin flames, so I couldn't be of much help there. I do know that I have learned that my job is to learn to love myself, and it doesn't always come easy. I think that's the main part of this journey for everyone, because once you can love yourself, with all your faults and scars, you can love the world.

You haven't failed your life. You are not here to support anyone else but yourself, unless you have a child of course. So don't feel sad you weren't there to support her, because we all have to learn how to support ourselves first, then we can help others.

Don't take on guilt that isn't yours - my 2 cents!

As far as helping you to feel better, I think that is what you need right now. To feel better. Sometimes when I have allowed myself to not care about how I feel, I slide back down into not feeling good. The only way I can climb back out, that I have found, is to tell myself, without fail, every morning for one week, today I feel a little bit better than I did yesterday.

Sounds simple, but it's the only thing that works. The hardest part is remembering to tell myself that for one week, because I tend to forget, because I don't feel good, etc.

Once you can feel better, and that usually takes a few days to really start feeling better, you will find that things that feel better to think about will start occuring to you. I can't have thoughts of things that feel better when I don't feel better, because I can't get there from there.

You have to slowly raise your vibrations, a little bit each day. And in one week, you will be amazed.

Hope this helps :)

Thanks for the help wow I didnt expect anyone to really help.

I'll say the reason i was put in the hospital. It's a long story but after i thought i was in heaven and lost my mind, I ended up somehow believing my parents were serial killers. So I had to defend myself, got put in jail where I started hearing and seeing all sorts of things. After about a month in that place they transported me to a state hospital, it was crazy to couldn't escape at all they had guards with guns and everything. On the ride there (6 hour drive) I saw the moon fly across the sky in 3 minutes and had the sun rise after that. I got to the hospital as the sun was rising and the sun looked very different. I think I was taken to another place somehow.

In the hospital I was considered incompetent to stand trial so they put me on medications and diagnosed me schizoaffective which was wrong it ended up being a identity disorder. I was really unstable sometimes days would disappear like one day it was the 12th then I'd wake up the next day and it would be the 14th. I dont know what happendd

I know I'm not caring g for myself. It makes me sad. It's like all I can focus. On is my failure. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to get better. I will...somehow. I know I will, I just dont know how.

I will try that out to raise my vibration :)

[M.Tesla]

..........

[Ziusudra]

I know I'm not caring g for myself. It makes me sad. It's like all I can focus. On is my failure. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to get better. I will...somehow. I know I will, I just dont know how.

Tesla,
Actually you are caring for yourself because you are getting help.
In other post, you stated that you will be starting 1yr long therapy in Jan next yr. That will be the right course for Identity Disorder.
Just stay grounded and stay on the course for your therapy.
Past is in the past. Failure does not apply when action was not possible at all. - as in your case, due to psychiatric condition.

I was supposed to be there for the love of my life and in the instant I was supposed to support her I lost my mind and went to heaven. I failed my life.

So in 2008, your TF needed your support and you developed the initial symptom?
Why did she need your support at the time? Was she pregnant with your child or something?
According to your other postings about your TF, she is now married and has children.
Whatever the circumstance in 2008 between you two, she is doing fine, right?
It was not a failure. It was just the lessons and life journey - in spiritual sense.
Spiritually speaking, one has to focus on the outcome of action/non-action. Not focus on non-action of the past. Because both action and non-action at each pathway exist for the outcome of the journey and/or the direction of the journey.
In fact, journey is what soul and life lesson is about. - Not even the outcome matters.

[Ziusudra]

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