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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #31  
Old 01-02-2016, 05:09 PM
metal68 metal68 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 767
 
My thoughts go out to you Purple Mist.

Please understand no matter what others may tell you, it will take you significant time to even begin to come to terms with your loss; Im talking years not months. Allow yourself this time, do not feel pressure and grieve as feels right to you. Some say 5 years, some say 7 years. I guess we are al different, I am a year on from losing my mother, would have been the funeral this Thursday a year ago and it doesn't feel ANY better. There is still a Black Hole literally. Lost my dad 34 years ago to the same horrible illness as you lost your dad too

Understand that there will be folk who just don't empathise having never been through it and don't let the ignorant impede in your grieving process one bit. If it take you 10 years to come through to the other side then SO be it!

We are all here on this site for you and to offer support and condolences.
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  #32  
Old 01-02-2016, 05:11 PM
metal68 metal68 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 767
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgaze
.... .....

My mom passed suddenly when I was 20 years old and away at college... I did not get a chance to say goodbye before she passed on... It was the most challenging experience of my life - but I would not wish to change the way that things unfolded because in the 10 years that followed, that life experience served as the catalyst for the most profound growth that I never could have imagined I would experience...

As others have noted, it is good that you have advanced notice of his condition and the opportunity to not only mentally prepare yourself (as best you can), but to be able to communicate with him and say what you feel needs to be said... You said your father is a very spiritual man and that will not only aid him in his transition, but also give you some comfort in knowing that he's well-prepared to process this universal experience that we will all go through when our time comes...

You are going to be fine... You will navigate your way through these challenging times and then there will come a day when everything will be clear to you and you'll see the higher purpose and the value behind these circumstances unfolding the way that they have... Hang in there and be strong, friend...

~WOLF


That is truly an inspirational post, my friend
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  #33  
Old 01-02-2016, 07:44 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,129
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PurpleMist - I am wishing you and your family much love and many blessings at this time. May your memories of your father and the love you shared be a comfort to you now and always.

Peace & blessings,
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke
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  #34  
Old 01-02-2016, 10:11 PM
Pleroo Pleroo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 140
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgaze
Condolences to you as well Pleroo, and everyone who has recently experinced a loss in their lives...


That is kind of you, wolfgaze. Thank you.
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  #35  
Old 01-02-2016, 10:19 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southwest, USA
Posts: 14,572
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This may be hard to understand, PurpleMist...but, this is the most precious gift
your father has ever given you.
You will reach depths you have never known.
__________________
.,
,
,

"Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by riding daily in a balloon of divine perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones...
Meditate unceasingly,
that you quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence"
~~Lahiri Mahasaya, the guru of Yogananda's guru

I have no scientific evidence for anything I say.
Better to PM me if you want me to see a post to me. I miss a lot.







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  #36  
Old 02-02-2016, 09:38 PM
PurpleMist PurpleMist is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London
Posts: 86
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I think at this present moment, everything in my life is hard to understand, but I think I can see what you're saying Miss Hepburn. I am very lucky to have had such a wonderful man as my Dad, I'm just missing him terribly at the moment, I just want to hear his voice down the phone or hug him.

I know it sounds selfish, because I'm thinking of me, and I would never have wanted my Dad to suffer and his suffering was short thank goodness, so he was blessed in that sense. This is so hard. I'm actually a trained bereavement counsellor, but I'm not practising at the moment, so I understand the theory behind grief and I know every grief is completely different, but I just can't go on without him. My partner is devastated too as she was very fond of my Dad and he was of her too. I just want to wake up and this last month hav all been a bad dream...
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  #37  
Old 03-02-2016, 03:32 AM
wolfgaze wolfgaze is offline
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: Earth
Posts: 3,313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleMist
I know it sounds selfish, because I'm thinking of me, and I would never have wanted my Dad to suffer and his suffering was short thank goodness, so he was blessed in that sense. This is so hard. I'm actually a trained bereavement counsellor, but I'm not practising at the moment, so I understand the theory behind grief and I know every grief is completely different, but I just can't go on without him. My partner is devastated too as she was very fond of my Dad and he was of her too. I just want to wake up and this last month hav all been a bad dream...

PurpleMist I think how you're feeling is natural and understandable. Others have been right there too and can empathize with how you're feeling right now. I know it's not easy to feel this way but you just have to allow the hurting to be present and then you work your way through it over time. No matter how much it hurts you will not be stuck feeling this way - so just try to reassure and remind yourself that you are going to feel better over time - and you will!

I noticed in your profile that you mention that you have a child (daughter). Perhaps at some point moving forward it would be helpful and beneficial for your healing process for you to focus on the realization that you can give to your child what your father gave to you. You can
be for your child what your father was (and is) for you. The positive influence and love that he extended to you - you can pass it on to your daughter. It's the gift that keeps on giving, and oh what a nice gift. Maybe even someday your daughter will start her own family and be able to pass on the loving influence that was passed on down from your father, through you, and onto her. A multi-generational ripple effect of you and your loved ones uplifting and elevating one another. : )

I think it's interesting that you already have bereavement counseling training. I think you are going to find that enduring through this challenging experience of grieving your father's passing is going to serve to change you in ways that will impart a new level of awareness, understanding, and insight with regards to the nature of the grieving process. Perhaps this experience will end up providing you with an even better equiped skillset with which you can utilize to aid and assist others who find themselves grieving the passing of their loved ones. It could feel like your 'calling' and something which is not only extremely important, but also very rewarding/fulfilling. Just a thought....

~WOLF
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  #38  
Old 14-02-2016, 10:47 PM
PurpleMist PurpleMist is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London
Posts: 86
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Tomorrow is my dads funeral. I'm not ready for it. It's too fast. I feel him around me in spirit and have asked for him to send a sign just for me tomorrow, just to let me know he's there with us.

I'm totally heartbroken, I feel as if I'm still in some awful dream, my Dad can't have left the physical world? I don't want to go on without him, I miss his kind words, strength and guidance so much.
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  #39  
Old 15-02-2016, 07:48 AM
present_in_pain present_in_pain is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 18
 
Hello, dear PurpleMist.

I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about your loss.

If this helps, at least he obtained the relief from physical pain he so desperately sought, and he is in a beautiful place now.

You were a wonderful daughter to him, and he was lucky to have you.

God bless you and your family
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  #40  
Old 15-02-2016, 07:52 AM
present_in_pain present_in_pain is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 18
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgaze
.... .....

My mom passed suddenly when I was 20 years old and away at college... I did not get a chance to say goodbye before she passed on... It was the most challenging experience of my life - but I would not wish to change the way that things unfolded because in the 10 years that followed, that life experience served as the catalyst for the most profound growth that I never could have imagined I would experience...

As others have noted, it is good that you have advanced notice of his condition and the opportunity to not only mentally prepare yourself (as best you can), but to be able to communicate with him and say what you feel needs to be said... You said your father is a very spiritual man and that will not only aid him in his transition, but also give you some comfort in knowing that he's well-prepared to process this universal experience that we will all go through when our time comes...

You are going to be fine... You will navigate your way through these challenging times and then there will come a day when everything will be clear to you and you'll see the higher purpose and the value behind these circumstances unfolding the way that they have... Hang in there and be strong, friend...

~WOLF

What a thoughtful and inspiring post, wolfgaze !!! Thanks so much for sharing, friend !
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