lonley and confused

[Ct5000]

Well I am so confused. I feel so alone even when my house is full of people. My partner is never happy and has been more and more resentful. He makes comments that hurt but for most people more than likely would not care but for me its like cutting me with a knife. Sometimes I think he is this way because of his health other time I think he doesn't want to be here with us but just cant leave. I hate feeling so lonely. I really don't expect anything by writing this but maybe putting it out there will help me get it off my chest.

[Clover]

Hello,

I am sorry your feeling lonely, it's such a isolating and grey feeling. Hey, it happens to the best of us, so don't feel alone. Personally, I think it's always best to talk to someone you trust and release that air out.

I am not an expert in the male advice, so I will leave that for someone else to comment on. However, As far as recommendations to combat low feelings, maybe you can practice some positive affirmations, or make some positive goals for yourself and recite them every day. I like going on my pinterest board and reading all the positive affirmations I have collected. Try googleing some, I believe there are some affirmations when one is feeling lonely, maybe google some for Self-Love.

Are you able to talk with your partner? Does he try to talk with you?
Sincerely, which one of you distanced the other? I have to say that it sounds like you
if you are isolated from a house full of people.
If you really can find nothing at all to communicate with people around you, you're with
the wrong people.

How do you get on with people at work? At the activities you do?
(Asking, to get more feel of the problem, if there is one at all - may just mean, like I said, you're with the wrong people).
♀

Originally Posted by Ct5000

Well I am so confused. I feel so alone even when my house is full of people. My partner is never happy and has been more and more resentful. He makes comments that hurt but for most people more than likely would not care but for me its like cutting me with a knife. Sometimes I think he is this way because of his health other time I think he doesn't want to be here with us but just cant leave. I hate feeling so lonely. I really don't expect anything by writing this but maybe putting it out there will help me get it off my chest.

Hi there, Ct5000. That has got to be one of the worst feelings - feeling lonely when surrounded by people. I am sorry you have loneliness around you.

When a loved one is filled with hurt, they sometimes try to purge themselves of it by "dumping" on those around them - like intimate partners. I've done this to my partner - and I've made amends because I respect him and know I could've done something more effective other than dump on him. But I still screw up, cuz I am human and that's what we do. But I trust my partner overlooks it because he loves me and has made a moral commitment to the healthy relationship we share. (not a perfect relationship, but one that is based on mutual trust, respect, and care.)

And lots of people feel hurt by hurtful comments! They do not feel very nice to most folks. If a hurtful comment is directed at something about your behaviour that your partner dislikes, then s/he needs to find more respectful ways to tell you about it. That is her/his relationship responsibility. Your relationship responsibility is to listen to it and decide if you want to make changes to your behaviour to help the relationship - or is it an unchangeable part of who you are and something your partner needs to accept. (Excluding abusive behaviour of course) We are humans - we make mistakes and don't do everything perfect all the time. But that does not mean we deserve hurtful treatment.

Relationships ... they take a lot of work. Some of them can be so rewarding and pay many dividends for what we invest. But other relationships - well, there's that saying, "We connect with others for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". It takes an honest and loving self exploration to decide which option applies to you - is this relationship for a reason, a season, or a lifetime? Or is it venting steam, like you referred to? What does your intuition say?

Be well and cherish your precious Self.

[Silver]

Originally Posted by Ct5000

Well I am so confused. I feel so alone even when my house is full of people. My partner is never happy and has been more and more resentful. He makes comments that hurt but for most people more than likely would not care but for me its like cutting me with a knife. Sometimes I think he is this way because of his health other time I think he doesn't want to be here with us but just cant leave. I hate feeling so lonely. I really don't expect anything by writing this but maybe putting it out there will help me get it off my chest.

Hi Ct5000.

Do you think that this unnamed health problem of his could be harder to bear for him than he lets on? If so, then he's probably acting-out and lashing out in ways that do not give you that information directly, because of the pride issue - being a man and feeling very vulnerable - but I don't know just how serious this health issue is, so....you might want to just let him rant and give him room to do so and just sit back and observe...maybe you can get a better instinct about what he may be going through emotionally and internally.

I hope you can iron things out, eventually.