Known people becoming unknown and nervous around me

august2803 · #1 26-09-2017, 02:59 AM

Hey guys! I can see in my family members faces that they become nervous talking to me and that they are unconcious and they seem scared!

Do you experience this? I can change myself when this happens to make them comfortable i know how, but then i am not authentic i think! Do you, if you experience this, just let them be nervous?

Thank you! Would be very helpful to know.

- August

baro-san · #2 26-09-2017, 03:57 AM

You provide too little information for others to form an opinion.

I don't experience that. Also, you don't explain what you mean by being authentic, but I infer that mean being outside others perceive as normal. If that's the case, being authentic (or being yourself) might not be necessarily a good thing. It all depends.

Snow Goose · #3 26-09-2017, 07:36 AM

Here is a link to a talk called How to Wake up Safely https://youtu.be/cl2GGLELkv4.

I'm not sure if this is what your referring to but I felt you were talking about how you have changed through new ideas you are learning and how this has been off putting to your family and friends.

#4 26-09-2017, 08:32 AM

You need to be sensitively diplomatic to be able to fit in - nothing inauthentic about that as long as you know you're doing it. It's sometimes easier to change a situation from the inside.

Being the change you want to see is ok but you have to give others the avenue to accommodate that....not an entirely apt example (as you seem to be questioning acceptance, not change) but you get what I mean? It's usually signs of increasing power/demand or unpredictability that get familiar people nervous, make you seem less approachable.

So whether you want to force the changed you upon them or let them acclimatise gradually is your choice.

naturesflow · #5 26-09-2017, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by august2803

Hey guys! I can see in my family members faces that they become nervous talking to me and that they are unconcious and they seem scared!

Do you experience this? I can change myself when this happens to make them comfortable i know how, but then i am not authentic i think! Do you, if you experience this, just let them be nervous?

Thank you! Would be very helpful to know.

- August

If your aware of another, you do have choices in how you respond and behave as a shared connection. I understand what your experiencing, its something my own awareness picks up on in others, whether not so subtle or subtle. I don't intend for it, but it seems to go hand in hand with being open and "aware" most naturally. Over time I have learned the art of discernment and listening to others as they are, as they come. By allowing another to feel comfortable you actually give them permission to be as they are in those moments. Being authentic and caring enough to support another to feel comfortable is part of your authentic nature as I see it. TO me your showing a caring approach which is the beginning of establishing rapport with another most naturally without force or need to make known what you see. People open up in their own time and process, just being open and supportive as they are and need is enough. Just as a side note sometimes the reactions you see in others, doesn't necessarily mean they are fully conscious of what is in all that. Sometimes its only the beginning of something that might come through many other aspects of their life and experience. Fear has many faces and we cant always know that moves in that fear, in fear reactions themselves.

august2803 · #6 28-09-2017, 11:28 AM

Wow, what incredible answers, thank you very, very much!!

"Over time I have learned the art of discernment and listening to others as they are."

dream jo · #7 28-09-2017, 01:18 PM

yep no fealin i do

baro-san · #8 28-09-2017, 06:17 PM

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shivatar · #9 28-09-2017, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by august2803

Hey guys! I can see in my family members faces that they become nervous talking to me and that they are unconcious and they seem scared!

Do you experience this? I can change myself when this happens to make them comfortable i know how, but then i am not authentic i think! Do you, if you experience this, just let them be nervous?

Thank you! Would be very helpful to know.

- August

That's not a good thing 0_0. If they are good peoples and care about you then you should just ask them. Don't ask a bunch of random people on an online forum who have no idea about the situation.

Your family members probably care a lot about you. If you ask them they will probably be willing to help. They might not know how to help, and may hurt your feelings in the process. That's a risk you should take though. It's part of the journey that takes us from being raised by a family we didn't choose to finding the family we do choose (which is our friends).

If you are going through a big awakening and are acting very different it could elicit concern and anxiety from nearby family members. If they are acting scared it's probably because you are acting VERY VERY different. They probably think you are having some kind of mental break down and are worried you're going to go crazy or hurt them. It's easy to mistake an awakening for a mental breakdown. If they bring that fear up, that they fear you may be having a break down or mental issues, just remain firm that you feel you are experiencing an awakening. And preferably agree to hear their side of the story out and go through the steps to ensure it is an awakening and not a mental breakdown. Sometimes its both.

Also you shouldn't try to change so you can make them more comfortable. If you repress and bottle how you feel it will just come out later, and in a more explosive way.

If you act how you feel, even if bad things come out of it they are likely to be the good kind of mistakes that lead us into growth. If you put on an act and make mistakes it's a nightmare.

I remember when I first began to awaken there was a lot of concern from my family and I didn't know what to do with it so I hid my awakening. Well I hid a lot of it. They noticed that I was acting more kind and compassionate, and that I seemed more wise, more mature, etc etc. But that was just the ripples on the surface. I didn't share the depth of my awakening with them so it took many years for them to finally understand what I was going through and to give me the support I needed.

I was afraid of having bad experiences with them so I faked it and tried to keep things how they were. It was a mistake. My awakening didn't slow down but my relationship with them became very distant. If I had just brought them on board and let them know what was going on in my life maybe they would be a bigger part of it now.