Depression

[shivatar]

What is the purpose of depression in spiritual development?

I'm in some kind of dark night of the soul right now and it feels like an ego crushing depression. So bad it makes me question "which part of me can't go on like this" and "which part of me can". I've come to understand that is an important question and this is a valuable period of time I'm in.

On the one hand I want to use all this depression energy in the appropriate way. On the other I don't want to do anything.

I feel like I'm teetering on the edge. Dancing on the edge of a knife. Almost at my limit, but not the limit I want, so I keep dancing on bloody feet.

On the one hand, I let things get so bad I have to fix them. This is OK because I feel good, but I'm right back to where I was not long ago.
On the other, I enjoy the chaos and watching myself get out of this mess. This is more OK because I can discover a new part of myself. However it's unbearable and a miracle I've gone as far as I have.

[Nature Grows]

Well...... two things come to mind.

1. Is that this means its time to be there for yourself more, healing, self love.

2. It's time for change cause life sucks right now so i guess we better change something so it doesn't suck so much, New beginnings await.

I once heard some one say "depression is unrecognised enlightenment/liberation" ... your depressed what do you care if you die? why not do anything you want? (don't harm anything) but you don't care what happens to you at all, This can be used in a good way. Just an example, doing something big that you always wanted to maybe a massive trip to the other side of the world which you never wanted to do because you were worried about stuff before, you know?

Originally Posted by shivatar

What is the purpose of depression in spiritual development?

When i wrote my comment to this thread, what i have quoted above from you was all you had written here, so thats what my answers are for, i didn't see the extra part you added after it, its ok though i change my posts around to after i have posted something sometimes. Hope you feel better soon.

[iamthat]

I had three years of depression and anxiety back in my 20s - it was there every waking moment, and it was horrible, like living in a permanent black cloud. But I avoided taking medication because deep down I knew that suppressing my feelings was not the answer. Eventually there was light at the end of the tunnel, and slowly my life returned to normal.

In the process I realised that there was a spiritual purpose to it all. The spiritual energy flowing down into my mind/emotions was pushing everything within me to the surface. All the unresolved suppressed pain and grief and anger and abandonment and rejection going back to my earliest years - everything had to be faced and released.

So how did I deal with it? The first year I was just very confused about why I felt as I did. The second year I began to reconnect with all my suppressed feelings, reliving old events. The third year I just cried and cried whenever I had space for myself, and things began to shift and blockages dissolved.

Since then I have felt much lighter and freer, and my personality is a much better vehicle for soul expression. So yes, there is a spiritual purpose to depression - all we have to do is hang on, even when we think that we can't. It does get better.

Peace.

[Shivani Devi]

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so badly my friend.

The role of depression in spiritual development is individual and unique.

In my case, it totally disassociated me from 'reality' and so I got to see how this thing we call the 'real world' is merely an illusion or a 'false perception'.

Depression usually arises from caring too much and investing too much of your time into fruitless and pointless activities, when if you just did more of those things you find that fulfill you personally, make you happy and learn to say "go to hell with all my love" and move on, things start improving.

You have felt that inside which time and reality warps around and I know that while ever that is there, depression cannot exist in the same space as it.

Also, seeing somebody professional, going on meds and all of that can help in the short term while you look for other answers.

All the best.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

what humans are, from a purely physical world understanding of things,
is entirely encoded within the DNA. some 'revealed wisdom' indicates that
our task while in physical incarnation is to take charge of our own being,
and rewrite our coding into what we desire ourselves to be/become. a
particular line of thought is that there exists a "dark gene" which is unloving
and acts against our own well-being... removing this 'non-informative' gene
from one's make-up would alleviate the suffering that is endured.
not this kinda dna:
https://www.sciencealert.com/introdu...s&limitstart=1
but more like this:
http://www.newdocs.de/the-dark-gene/

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

shivatar: So bad it makes me question "which part of me can't go on like this" and "which part of me can".
I've come to understand that is an important question and this is a valuable period of time I'm in.

On the one hand I want to use all this depression energy in the appropriate way. On the other I don't want to do anything.

the part of you that can't go on any further is a part that is not of you.
let it go in peace.
i suggest that you not use the "depression energy" for anything; let it go.
here's something i thought you might like:
6 Things You Lose When You Become Spiritually Awakened
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqfC2y-2GlQ

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by iamthat

I had three years of depression and anxiety back in my 20s - it was there every waking moment, and it was horrible, like living in a permanent black cloud. But I avoided taking medication because deep down I knew that suppressing my feelings was not the answer. Eventually there was light at the end of the tunnel, and slowly my life returned to normal.

In the process I realised that there was a spiritual purpose to it all. The spiritual energy flowing down into my mind/emotions was pushing everything within me to the surface. All the unresolved suppressed pain and grief and anger and abandonment and rejection going back to my earliest years - everything had to be faced and released.

So how did I deal with it? The first year I was just very confused about why I felt as I did. The second year I began to reconnect with all my suppressed feelings, reliving old events. The third year I just cried and cried whenever I had space for myself, and things began to shift and blockages dissolved.

Since then I have felt much lighter and freer, and my personality is a much better vehicle for soul expression. So yes, there is a spiritual purpose to depression - all we have to do is hang on, even when we think that we can't. It does get better.

Peace.

I'm really bad about crying. I will hold and hold until my brain starts to mal-function. I will literally go crazy before I cry, but not very crazy, just a few toes in the water then I get scared lol.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so badly my friend.

The role of depression in spiritual development is individual and unique.

In my case, it totally disassociated me from 'reality' and so I got to see how this thing we call the 'real world' is merely an illusion or a 'false perception'.

Depression usually arises from caring too much and investing too much of your time into fruitless and pointless activities, when if you just did more of those things you find that fulfill you personally, make you happy and learn to say "go to hell with all my love" and move on, things start improving.

You have felt that inside which time and reality warps around and I know that while ever that is there, depression cannot exist in the same space as it.

Also, seeing somebody professional, going on meds and all of that can help in the short term while you look for other answers.

All the best.

I don't entirely understand how caring for others can create depression. I guess it has something to do with how I am doing it, I must be doing it improperly and it is causing me great pain. I ought to see a buddhist or someone who can help me with this because doctors ain't gonna be able to. It's a problem for the love doctor, maybe my local preacher lol.

I'm not entirely sure which activities I enjoy. The things I do with my time are not really things I enjoy but things I've learned how to do easily. They are old bad habits baiscally. Sit at home and watch tv, smoke weed all the time, etc. They are easy to do alone and at home, which is what I "enjoy" because going outside is pretty much painful to me. mentally painful at least, not physically.

Also the last few months have been a brutal series of learning experiences that basically have told me to either trust less or something like that.

I've faced an unreal amount of corruption and betrayal at work. SOO MUCH two faced back talking and manipulation, it just drives me crazy. And there was the room-mate issue where I lost 700$ in backed rent and utilities payments. It's like I'm being told "don't trust so much". Or like "don't be so care-free and laid back, take this SERIOUSLY".

And here I am less than a week after getting ripped off 700$ and I'm like "nah, feel like being carefree still, even if it loses me money, makes me gullible and vulnerable to manipulation by others, etc"

The depression is saying "you are not being care-free, you're being lazy! it's not that you let things go, it's that you are incapable of standing up for yourself! coward!".

I need a friend a mentor. Someone who I can talk to more than once a month to discuss these difficult issues with. I should probably start looking for that the same way I look for work or a girlfriend lol.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by shivatar

I don't entirely understand how caring for others can create depression. I guess it has something to do with how I am doing it, I must be doing it improperly and it is causing me great pain. I ought to see a buddhist or someone who can help me with this because doctors ain't gonna be able to. It's a problem for the love doctor, maybe my local preacher lol.

I'm not entirely sure which activities I enjoy. The things I do with my time are not really things I enjoy but things I've learned how to do easily. They are old bad habits baiscally. Sit at home and watch tv, smoke weed all the time, etc. They are easy to do alone and at home, which is what I "enjoy" because going outside is pretty much painful to me. mentally painful at least, not physically.

I enjoy activities that don't hurt much. But I also don't enjoy them... that is part of where my conflict is coming from. I like the painlessness of them, and because nearly everything causes me a lot of pain I don't like to do anything.



Also the last few months have been a brutal series of learning experiences that basically have told me to either trust less or something like that.

I've faced an unreal amount of corruption and betrayal at work. SOO MUCH two faced back talking and manipulation, it just drives me crazy. And there was the room-mate issue where I lost 700$ in backed rent and utilities payments. It's like I'm being told "don't trust so much". Or like "don't be so care-free and laid back, take this SERIOUSLY".

And here I am less than a week after getting ripped off 700$ and I'm like "nah, feel like being carefree still, even if it loses me money, makes me gullible and vulnerable to manipulation by others, etc"

The depression is saying "you are not being care-free, you're being lazy! it's not that you let things go, it's that you are incapable of standing up for yourself! coward!".

I need a friend a mentor. Someone who I can talk to more than once a month to discuss these difficult issues with. I should probably start looking for that the same way I look for work or a girlfriend lol.

It's not about caring for others, but caring about others!

It comes from detaching all your emotional responses from your core.

It's the difference between saying 'he is a naughty boy' and 'that boy does naughty things' but then, who is the judge of it?

Yes, look for a mentor the same way you look for a job...a girlfriend...although the latter usually comes when you are not looking.

What I think is that you are spending way too much time overthinking and criticising every little situation that comes your way...then allowing yourself to stew in your own juices for weeks and months afterwards! - also, as unfortunate as it is...weed does that. It's one of the reasons why I gave it up in January.

Yep, I still get depressed...I still get angry, but it only lasts for a day or two, then I get over myself and go 'right! how to change/fix this'? and explore all my alternatives. If you are not happy where you live, move! If you don't like your job, change jobs! If a friend is troubling you, do a 'cord cutting'. You are responsible for your own happiness, nobody else.

I don't like going outside either, but lately I have just been going for small walks...just going down to the beach for half an hour and grounding my energies...you have to force yourself to do painful things or just live with the depression - your choice.

However, because I have been in a devotional mood and in bliss all day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSvnYsQesG0

[shivatar]

What is the difference between caring for others vs about others?

What is the taboo of caring about others?

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

It's not about caring for others, but caring about others!

It comes from detaching all your emotional responses from your core.

It's the difference between saying 'he is a naughty boy' and 'that boy does naughty things' but then, who is the judge of it?

Yes, look for a mentor the same way you look for a job...a girlfriend...although the latter usually comes when you are not looking.

What I think is that you are spending too much time overthinking and criticising every situation that comes your way...and allowing yourself to stew in your own juices for weeks and months afterwards!

Yep, I still get depressed...I still get angry, but it only lasts for a day or two, then I get over myself and go 'right! how to change/fix this'? and explore all my alternatives. If you are not happy where you live, move! If you don't like your job, change jobs! If a friend is troubling you, do a 'cord cutting'. You are responsible for your own happiness, nobody else.

I don't like going outside either, but lately I have just been going for small walks...just going down to the beach for half an hour and grounding my energies...you have to force yourself to do painful things or just live with the depression - your choice.

However, because I have been in a devotional mood and in bliss all day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSvnYsQesG0