Suicide

[Taking a Break]

Originally Posted by Lynn

Now there are times when there is mental illness at play and we need to really get to the root of things to make sure we look to all avenues out there before we act.

I think there's always something mental at play don't you think?
Not being able to process data/experiences?

[ThatMan]

Before even thinking to a such action, we should all give a chance to the Creator to help us... When everything else is lost and there is no more hope, call for the Creator, that's the best time to hear His voice... He is the Father of all, Jesus would have not died in vain, He died to show all of us the true nature of our Heavenly Father..

This is a message to all of you and it's not a religious message, but a message of love and truth... My entire life I felt like a stranger in this world, longing from my true home, I had many thoughts of leaving this world but I have never gave up on my faith in the Creator.. Think about it, when you are in extreme pain or in extreme danger, you all feel the inner desire to call for the Creator, when death knocks at the door, we all call for our Creator..

[Jainarayan]

I was reluctant to be one of the first to post my experience, because of the possible trigger, but I see that's not an issue here. I apologize in advance for the length.

I had one attempt, and several serious contemplations.

"It was the 3rd of June... " (yes, the first line of Ode to Billie Joe... love that song) in 1992. I had a bad day at work, and a fight with the guy who was my boss, the guy I wrote about here in the thread about what we'd say to our soul mates. I was, am and probably always will be in love with him, but we can never be together in this life.

Anyway, I was in an emotional turmoil for a long time, over several things. That night I came home from work, hadn't eaten all day, put a cd in the cd player (remember them? )... Empty Garden. One of the things haunting me was the possibility that I would lose Tom as a friend and the object of my love. The theme of Empty Garden is actually looking for a friend who's no longer there.

I was deliberately torturing myself because I needed to be punished. On an empty stomach I downed a pint of gin, in just a few swallows. After the puking all over my apartment set in, I realized what was happening, but I didn't really care. I drank with the hope I would die. I made it out to the front lawn, passed out, and woke up being loaded into an ambulance. Some neighbors called 911. And the police took the note.

I woke up again in the emergency room, having blood drawn. They took blood several times that night. A psych intern came in to talk to me. I told him I had a fight with Tom. He asked if Tom was my boyfriend, if I was gay or bisexual, to which I gave an emphatic no. I was not even out to myself yet.

Long story short I was released the next morning when I was reasonably sober and detoxed. I had been in a psych elopement-proof room with a bac of .216 all night. Yeah, .30 and it's all over but the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the family. But I did manage to make it to work the next day, whereupon everyone told me I looked like [you know what goes here].

I never did that again.

But another time I did have a horrific fantasy/ideation. I had a vacation week and decided to go sit in the mall. Oddly, I don't do well with days off. I get bored easily. I was in a nosedive anyway, actually a mixed state (I'm bipolar). I was sitting in the mall watching the mommies with their toddlers and strollers passing. I thought how cute, new life just starting out. I was imagining a time when there'd be a lull in the mommy traffic so they wouldn't see me pull a gun out of my pocket, put it to my head and pull the trigger. I didn't want them or the babies to be traumatized. Why the mall? Let them clean it up.

I was seeing a therapist at the time. She turned ash white when I told her this. We scheduled more sessions... a lot more.

[Jainarayan]

Originally Posted by peeps

You'll plan to reincarnate with issues pertaining to your past life- unfinished business.

I can't say everything will go wrong- I think whatever you walk away from, you have to work for it again because you didn't appreciate it last time, and your new life won't be as good.

I think you lose privileges on earth, and there can be some compromise. You'll be shown whatever it was you didn't appreciate or couldn't see after you've died, in visions.

We can have masks on us on earth so we don't see things that are working for us, and we can't get any value or self esteem from it. The naivety is part of the lesson, and we put them on ourselves before reincarnating, with an intended outcome.

It doesn't sound empathetic to why people commit suicide, but (from a higher perspective) they see our lives as valuable and they have some meaning and they can be worked on not abandoned.

They'll be explanations as to why things are as they- for you, now, as you're struggling, from a higher perspective. Every nuance and issue will be linked in with something. It'll be from another life.

You have to work through whatever issues you've got on earth to unlock gifts.

I wish the site had a rep system because I would upvote this post to the nth degree!

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by Jainarayan

I was reluctant to be one of the first to post my experience, because of the possible trigger, but I see that's not an issue here. I apologize in advance for the length.

I had one attempt, and several serious contemplations.

"It was the 3rd of June... " (yes, the first line of Ode to Billie Joe... love that song) in 1992. I had a bad day at work, and a fight with the guy who was my boss, the guy I wrote about here in the thread about what we'd say to our soul mates. I was, am and probably always will be in love with him, but we can never be together in this life.

Anyway, I was in an emotional turmoil for a long time, over several things. That night I came home from work, hadn't eaten all day, put a cd in the cd player (remember them? )... Empty Garden. One of the things haunting me was the possibility that I would lose Tom as a friend and the object of my love. The theme of Empty Garden is actually looking for a friend who's no longer there.

I was deliberately torturing myself because I needed to be punished. On an empty stomach I downed a pint of gin, in just a few swallows. After the puking all over my apartment set in, I realized what was happening, but I didn't really care. I drank with the hope I would die. I made it out to the front lawn, passed out, and woke up being loaded into an ambulance. Some neighbors called 911. And the police took the note.

I woke up again in the emergency room, having blood drawn. They took blood several times that night. A psych intern came in to talk to me. I told him I had a fight with Tom. He asked if Tom was my boyfriend, if I was gay or bisexual, to which I gave an emphatic no. I was not even out to myself yet.

Long story short I was released the next morning when I was reasonably sober and detoxed. I had been in a psych elopement-proof room with a bac of .216 all night. Yeah, .30 and it's all over but the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the family. But I did manage to make it to work the next day, whereupon everyone told me I looked like [you know what goes here].

I never did that again.

But another time I did have a horrific fantasy/ideation. I had a vacation week and decided to go sit in the mall. Oddly, I don't do well with days off. I get bored easily. I was in a nosedive anyway, actually a mixed state (I'm bipolar). I was sitting in the mall watching the mommies with their toddlers and strollers passing. I thought how cute, new life just starting out. I was imagining a time when there'd be a lull in the mommy traffic so they wouldn't see me pull a gun out of my pocket, put it to my head and pull the trigger. I didn't want them or the babies to be traumatized. Why the mall? Let them clean it up.

I was seeing a therapist at the time. She turned ash white when I told her this. We scheduled more sessions... a lot more.

You're a strong man.
Sorry about your beloved.

[JosephineB]

I've just had a listen to Empty Garden.

[Jainarayan]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

You're a strong man.
Sorry about your beloved.

Thanks.

[Jainarayan]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

I've just had a listen to Empty Garden.

It's pretty sad... at least to me. But I tend to be pretty emotional. I cry during A Knight's Tale when William reunites with his father; when the prince frees William and knights him Sir William Thatcher; when he's announced for the final joust and Wat says "Sir William Thatcher... your father heard that".

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by Jainarayan

It's pretty sad... at least to me. But I tend to be pretty emotional. I cry during A Knight's Tale when William reunites with his father; when the prince frees William and knights him Sir William Thatcher; when he's announced for the final joust and Wat says "Sir William Thatcher... your father heard that".

Doesn't take much to make me cry either. William Thatcher was my grandads name

[Dan_SF]

Originally Posted by Rickswordfish

Since i was 12 my ultimate goal has been to kill myself , what will happen to me if i do it

You will learn how to die and will probably waste next 20~30 lives by die'ing, until, by chance or something else,you give up that idea. (20~30 is very low number, i have used it only as an example, because it can go up to 1000 or 1000000.)

You have only one life, and it is eternal and immortal. But for this you have to live and to learn how to free your self from the bodily limits. By death, you actually lose your current progress, and right now you have too many awakening people, which you can join with. And death does not promise you 'better' life, because as there is no time, you can as well, embody someone from 2000~3000 years ago.

Only God promises you Better life, and as God is Life so it may have no opposite.