How Does One Let Go?

[SierraNevadaStar]

I just don't know how I am going to do it - even though my twin has done so much to repel me, to put me off. Yes, to a point where I've been left wondering if he ever was truly the person I believed him to be. He got married to a bad person - perhaps someone who is even his 'false twin' - some months back. Despite all of the above, I still find myself thinking and worrying about him often. I'll sometimes go seeking out info on what he's been up to (via online 'stalking' I suppose) and input, on occasion, from a mutual acquaintance of ours.

Anyone with any common sense would probably tell me that he's 'no good' and that I'm 'better off without him' considering everything. And I, honestly, want the absolute best for myself. I once thought he was 'the best,' 'the ultimate,' and now - now I guess I was wrong. I don't even think like him anymore - though, somehow, I still do love him - dearly.

I am keenly aware of this fear in letting him go. I worry if I stop 'chasing' him in my thoughts, or in news as to what he's been up to - and move on with my life, I will lose him forever (although, spiritually-speaking and from a higher perspective, I understand that's not ever going to happen). And yet, I don't know if I can ever forgive him no matter how much heart chakra work I do. I do know, however, that he's my twin. I know this 100%.

He is so lost in this dark, dark wood and I no longer wish to be the same. Not anymore.

How do I let him go? How do I give up a once beautiful, once tangible, dream?