Ascension

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Hi there Mr G,

And a beautiful morning to you. The sun is shining and my garden is starting to bud and grow.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

A whole bunch of physical weirdness and lots of numbers!

Yeah, but ain't it so much fun?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I do agree that ascension isn’t an existence on an exotic plane. Matt’s bringing fifth dimensional consciousness to the earth plane makes sense, and it is living from a more heart centred way however difficult that may be with life’s challenges, but I guess that’s the test isn’t it?

It doesn't make sense any other way really. Why bring any kind of consciousness to a plane of existence that's got it all, and what could we possibly learn about Spirituality that would do us any good 'up there'?

Being Spiritual when there's nothing else is easy, being Spiritual under duress is the real test.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I don’t feel any different, a bit more physically battered in recent months. I maybe think differently, or am aware of a different way of thinking but that’s to do with Matt’s teachings, showing an alternate way, not different thinking within or from my own mind / thoughts.

Part of your feeling physically battered has as much to do with your range of therapies as much as anything else. Your thinking is about your neural processes and that's all physical, your brain patterns have been a long time in the making and while the brain has neuroplasticity that takes concerted effort to change. But if you've been applying Matt's teachings? I dare say they're different enough from your normal thought processes.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve already tried some of the more exotic and strange, none of that made any difference either. I did briefly look into bi-aura therapy and that looked very interesting. Even managed to find a therapist in my area which when I looked several years ago there wasn’t anyone who did it. It’s pretty spectacular to watch someone perform it and I understand completely about working with the energy field. But given that many of these therapies have not worked, and in some cases, made the situation worse, I’m reluctant to jump in. The cranio practitioner I’m working with, said that a lot of these healing modalities are done to you whereas with cranio, the body sets the agenda, you’re seeking and getting it’s permission where with the bowen the body got the treatment whether it wanted it or not, and it clearly didn’t.

The body sets the agenda, very similar to what Matt was saying about the consciousness already being healed and given the body its own time?

If nothing changes then nothing changes. You've been going through all these modalities and I'm guessing that this is probably unique in that it works with your body instead of against it. In the past you've been doing a lot of the same thing - different modalities granted but still much of a muchness in that you're almost forcing your body to heal against its will. Now after watching Matt's vid about giving your body its own time you find a therapy that 'reflects' just that.

I can understand the need for healing so I'm not trying to tell you not to try, what I am saying is that you're missing something. With your healing you're dealing with things on a physical level but that's not the only level you have. The relationship between you and your ailment is similar to that of you and your Higher Self, and once you begin to understand that relationship everything changes. How you experience what ails you will change - it might not make it go away but what it will do is bring down that fifth-dimensional experience to bear on it. You might still ail but how you experience it will be very different. Right now you're at odds with yourself.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes, that is one way of looking at it and that thought has occurred to me in the past however, it is supposed to be of comfort to me, don’t worry Patrycia, if this doesn’t work we’ll try something else.

"Supposed to be of comfort." Often what is and 'supposed to be' are a Universe apart.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

To be honest, I don’t remember much about it apart from those few memories I mentioned a few posts ago. I certainly wasn’t capable of conscious thought at that age.

We don't have much conscious thought when we're that age but here's the thing, what is conscious thought? The consciousness is epiphenomenal which means it has no participation in its own creation at all. You have the thought then a fraction of a second later you are conscious of having the thought so there is no such thing as a conscious thought.

I still feel what happened to me to this day, when I think about it enough. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to, or at least my experience of the memories doesn't because that was all I could feel of it so much later in Life. I used to have memories of how much it hurt, and while I still have those memories my experience of them is very different.

Back then you would have had emotions of some kind and less conscious thought because that's how kids 'work'. Same as I had my emotions of what happened back then. Pain, fear, helplessness...... Sometimes those emotions are stronger than consciousness itself because they are energetic while consciousness is benign, and very often they're consigned to the Shadow Self because we can't deal with them. The Shadow Self is one of the darkest places in the Universe.

While the Child Inside can sound fanciful he/she is still a part of us just the same. Sometimes we don't really get over those childhood traumas because we try to deal with them from an adult perspective, not in the perspective of the child in which they were created.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I don’t feel at odds with myself. I feel at odds with the world / with life – always have done and most likely always will.

The Universe is a reflection of you, so it's the same difference.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Well that is one thought that has kept me going. I know that everything is energy, so my two trauma symptoms are an energy and it just means finding the right vibration, but alas I am beginning to wonder if it exists at all. I tried vibrational essences for a year with a practitioner to no avail.

Only you can heal you. You're energy, you exist (I hope), you have a range of different frequencies at your disposal. Turn yourself to face yourself.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m trying to heal from two specific physical injuries if you like as a result of the trauma. They’re physical manifesting from the stress of it all. That stress came out of nowhere and lasted for a couple of months and the last 4 days were hell on earth, I could barely function. Ongoing trauma like that is going to make an impact (complex PTSD) so I’m not surprised I didn’t go through that without it making it’s mark. However, what does surprise me is the number of healings I’ve tried, some for a year or more, and neither one of them has improved even the slightest. So you have wonder if the injuries just can’t be recovered from.

I guess that's what it can come down to, whether or not the injuries can be recovered from. Sometimes just the possibility that they can't can help us come to terms and deal with things on that basis. It's being realistic but that doesn't mean we have to stop trying. The stress didn't come out of nowhere, it came out of you being at odds with what was happening to you and possibly even because of frustration that your physical abilities were curtailed - you were getting ticked/angry/frustrated at yourself because you couldn't run, which you've already mentioned.

You were finding it difficult to accept yourself, I think you're still having that problem today - which is why the healing modalities. I also think that it partly goes back to being a child, when you would have felt - for one thing I'd guess - helpless. Trying all those healing modalities can be an expression of not wanting to feel helpless/less than perfect/powerless.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That I should be loving myself relentlessly. One of the reasons I’ve been devouring every word of Matt’s teachings is to have an overview of each teaching and then pick one or two and then try to really implement them, live and breathe them, and see what happens. I’m almost there too. I think I’ve only got a couple to go.

Then Love yourself relentlessly, including the traumas.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Now that made me feel very emotional. Because from a very young age, 8 or so, I’ve had a vivid imagination, well it’s more than that. Probably about 2001 I started to discover a plane of existence that wasn’t the earth plane, but wasn’t spirit, it was something in-between I guess, I didn’t think too much about it but I would live there as a parallel to life here. I would go there every night and talk and be with the people there and it was far more heartfelt, rewarding, full of life than anything here had to offer. It was when I saw those words you put, it made me remember it all and the boundless energy I had to be there, living that life, protecting it but somehow it’s all faded. I know none of that will make too much sense but it is how it was.

It makes every sense. If it makes you emotional then you have the energetic connection at least, you're resonating with it. And yes, what you've put down to imagination is more than that. While most people dismiss imagination often it's a gateway to other realms of consciousness, our imaginings free us from the mind that would have us trapped in the five-sensory. If it was 'just imagination' then that realm would soon be lost.

I've been lucky enough to have been with people who have known about that world, who took it as their reality and helped me understand so much about what was going on inside my head. I've met people from that plane of existence time and again and it's been pretty damned amazing. To be honest it was really freaky but amazing too, because the people I'd talked to talked in a way which told me they must have been there - and 'there' was inside my head.

It hasn't faded, it's always going to be there because it's a part of you even though you're focus has gone elsewhere.

Old Souls have never fully integrated into this plane of existence and they always seem to be very much at odds both with themselves and the world around them. It's somewhere they need to be rather than want to, it's a job and the sooner it's done so they can go Home the better. That's capital 'H' Home. There's an instinct (for want of a better word) that there's something more, something different and that this existence can be a bit of a pastiche - your need to imagine a world where everything is more energetic. That's a 'symptom' of who and what you are.

You've been to the garden.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

It was a teddy bear with me wearing and white and blue dressing gown. Before I went into hospital when I was five, my parents took many photos of me in that dressing gown with that teddy bear; the reason being I had long blonde hair and my mother knew with me going into hospital, I would find it stressful to have someone touching or brushing my hair, so I had it cut short.

Thank you, that makes so much sense too. So, you are what I think you are and there are connections here with the teddy bear and a little girl in Spirit. And here's you with the Child Inside that somehow seems to be a theme that I can't let go of so it has significance that's yet to come through properly.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yep, the point I was making was that I don’t put great store in the numbers because I don’t understand what they’re trying to tell me, other that googling which as I said comes from a human interpretation – but that example I gave is a good one for how intense the numbers can get. I’ve been seeing many 4s lately – and remember that not so long ago that number was missing from the others I got.

I get that they’re communicating but what are they communicating? Is the universe saying hi there, we see what you’re doing – or do the specific numbers mean different things?

I get what you're saying, really. You're making the distinction that interpretations of the numbers is human, to a point yes you're right. Whether you put any store or not in the numbers is down to you, but many people put great store in numerology so don't be too quick to dismiss them. For instance, your Life Path number can tell you a few things that would probably surprise you. Some people receive what they consider to be messages from music, for you perhaps not so much because you connect with music more on an emotional rather than Spiritual level. Numbers are more precise than music because of numerology so they have specific meanings rather than interpretations. What's happening is a chain of manifestation if you like, but in a loop.

What they're communicating is that they're communicating, there are synchronicities and resonant frequencies going on - harmonies. Each number has its own meaning so that meaning is the message and how it applies to you specifically. When you take that meaning on board - when you take on board numerology in general for you - then you're resonating at a frequency that's more in resonant harmony with Spirit. Putting yourself into that mindset closes the feedback loop for Spirit because Spirit can tell you're working with them, not against or ignoring them. The numbers are much like a conversation.

So, with the number four -
http://numerology-thenumbersandtheir.../number-4.html

So, how many of them can you tick off?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes I feel the aura soma colours received into my third eye comes from an external source, my guides, spirit. I can put one there myself but it won’t feel right. (My third eye is my strongest chakra - much needed for living that other life). For instance, if my guides put a colour there, I can try and change it to another colour but it hurts to do that (I’ve tried once or twice to see what would happen).

But you are Spirit, so if you are Spirit how can the colours come from an external source? The 'you' that you think is 'you' is not 'you' at all, it's only a part of 'you'. And no, I'm not going to get all airy-fairy.

Your trauma is a part of you, a part of you is your trauma. The Child inside is a part of you, part of you is a Child Inside. The adult is a part of you, a part of you is the adult but not all of it. Are your Guides leading you down a Path towards a different healing modality or is it you yourself that's leading you?

If you were your Guide, where would you lead you? The Path of least resistance perhaps, and if so which one is that?

[Patrycia-Rose]

Good morning to you, Mr G,

And a beautiful morning to you. The sun is shining and my garden is starting to bud and grow.

Mine too and in recent years it reminds me of the scene from Fellowship of the Ring .... “but where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet, and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow.”

Yeah, but ain't it so much fun?

I’m not sure I would describe it as ‘fun’ particularly as I’m not aware of it leading to anything of note but there could be a big ‘yet’ on that. The most interesting aspect was what I’m assuming was kundalini energy whipping around my system, that was pretty spectacular!

Being Spiritual when there's nothing else is easy, being Spiritual under duress is the real test.

For sure they’re different. The challenge is to apply them when things aren’t going so well. Sometimes I can do that, other times, I can’t but this it’s all so new that there’s plenty of time to progress.

Now after watching Matt's vid about giving your body its own time you find a therapy that 'reflects' just that.

Thank you for that, it had not occurred to me.

Interestingly, I am on my second to final video having seen/noted all the videos. One thing that he has said on a number of occasions is that spirituality should not be used to resolve problems or difficulties. When he has said this, I have often wondered well, what could be considered spiritual exploration? And finally in the video called surrender to love he is talking in depth about this. It literally brought a smile because I thought at last, now for the answer! Nice bit of synchronicity for me there. So a few of the questions he asks are what could be considered spiritual exploration is, what is my experience like in this moment if I put aside all concerns? Who am I without these concerns and what would be my life purpose?

Those are all fascinating questions to contemplate. And literally, my mind jumped in at the point of considering my life purpose and immediately to protect my freedom. My freedom has always been so very important to me and warrants my complete dedication to protecting it.

It makes every sense. If it makes you emotional then you have the energetic connection at least, you're resonating with it. And yes, what you've put down to imagination is more than that. While most people dismiss imagination often it's a gateway to other realms of consciousness, our imaginings free us from the mind that would have us trapped in the five-sensory. If it was 'just imagination' then that realm would soon be lost.

I know - beyond doubt - that it is more than my imagination. One of the reasons I know this, beyond how real it all was, and this came as quite a shock to me. The first time was in 1998 and 1999, I saw the same medium three times during those years, and she began to describe a person that I would become very close to. I forgot all about that reading until that person came into my life, via this realm, in about 2001 and 2002. I recall very clearly being outside cleaning the car and had a vague memory of one of the readings from 1999. I remember going inside and pulling out my diary and going over the reading and was utterly shocked that the medium’s description of this person was totally accurate. Since then several other mediums have talked about these people from those realms not knowing they actually with me in physical form here on the earth. So that confirmed to me that this was not " just" my imagination.

I remember some time ago reading a book called mapping the mind and it said that the mind cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. All very interesting. But I have lost touch with all realms now and all the people there because on two occasions, during my healing journey for the physical trauma, two ‘practitioners’ have taken that energy away from me. The energy that enabled me to access these realms was created and powered by my heart chakra. Those two different practitioners took away that energy that was in heart chakra. It is my belief that the practitioners were just conduits and that the energy was taken away by something or someone in spirit. To be suddenly ripped away from that world was devastating and a grief like I have never known. Fortunately after several months in 2006 I found a medium who did some healing on me and it came back after a few weeks.

I had a similar experience in 2013 (new realm, new people) where again the energy that powered it was taken away and I could no longer access in a meaningful way, the realm and people that I was with at the time. Literally it was there one day, gone the next and the absence of it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I drove myself to the brink of illness trying to get that energy back. I was told by a medium at that time that it was not going to come back and it never has.

There was a new realm with new people as recent as 2016 and although that energy was not directly taken (because I became extremely or wary of anything such as shamanic healing and reiki healing), the energy, I felt it just go one afternoon at work. But this time I refused to let anything, including that special energy, take me to the depths of despair I was in 2014. Long story, very complex situation, but every word is true.

The whole experience made me feel that the ability I had, to create and live in those realms and develop relationships with those people that were more meaningful than anything experienced on the earth plane, just wasn’t supposed to be on the earth plane. I hope when I pass to spirit I will be able to access those realms from there as there is unfinished business with two of them.

Old Souls have never fully integrated into this plane of existence and they always seem to be very much at odds both with themselves and the world around them. It's somewhere they need to be rather than want to, it's a job and the sooner it's done so they can go Home the better. That's capital 'H' Home. There's an instinct (for want of a better word) that there's something more, something different and that this existence can be a bit of a pastiche - your need to imagine a world where everything is more energetic. That's a 'symptom' of who and what you are.

I feel so like that. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve just wanted to go Home, particularly now my dad’s there. In fact, in Matt’s video I’m watching currently (surrender to love) he asks to consider is there any aspect of your life you’re not concerned about and I immediately thought passing to spirit does not concern me one iota.

Thank you, that makes so much sense too. So, you are what I think you are and there are connections here with the teddy bear and a little girl in Spirit. And here's you with the Child Inside that somehow seems to be a theme that I can't let go of so it has significance that's yet to come through properly.

Mmmm, very interesting. I had to read that several times over the week because I kept seeing ‘who you are’ instead of ‘what you are’. So, if you know ‘what’ I am – anything that can help me with my physical healing journey? ( know that men are from mars, women are from Venus and Patrycia is from another planet all together!)

Also you may be interested to know that I still have the teddy bear. When I went to see the medium back in January, my father came through and mentioned that I still had the teddy bear.

So, with the number four -
http://numerology-thenumbersandtheir.../number-4.html

how many of them can you tick off?

So,Yep, for sure, I can mark some of those off. But the big ‘but’ for me is that first paragraph there are so many things, I’m sure most people could identify any current issues with one of those words. It’s too general. The bit about home being my haven, absolutely, but there is no way I’m extrovert.

I did that online life path test and my lifepath is 2.

Your trauma is a part of you, a part of you is your trauma. The Child inside is a part of you, part of you is a Child Inside. The adult is a part of you, a part of you is the adult but not all of it. Are your Guides leading you down a Path towards a different healing modality or is it you yourself that's leading you?

Who knows, I don’t try to think about it really. I usually see something when researching, see what I think about it, see how I feel about it, see if I can find a practitioner in my area who I like the look of, maybe a bit of dowsing.

If you were your Guide, where would you lead you? The Path of least resistance perhaps, and if so which one is that?

Clearly, they haven’t led me to anything that’s healed me. I do feel very much alone with finding the solution and they seem to be happy for me to do things that cause more harm, so I think they’re of limited use or are Choosing to be of limited use. Like you say, there could be no cure, it’s more about the journey.

Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Good morning to you, Mr G,

And it's another very good morning to you Patrycia. I'm off to get some larger pots for the plants and get my ideas straight for my new project, building a fairy house around the aquarium. It already has a garden arch around it with a rampaging cheese plant.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Mine too and in recent years it reminds me of the scene from Fellowship of the Ring .... “but where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet, and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow.”

I guess that makes me a Hobbit at heart.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m not sure I would describe it as ‘fun’ particularly as I’m not aware of it leading to anything of note but there could be a big ‘yet’ on that. The most interesting aspect was what I’m assuming was kundalini energy whipping around my system, that was pretty spectacular!

Often that things are occurring at all is something of note, great oaks and all that. That something is happening at all is of note, and if nothing was happening this would be a different conversation. They're all 'signs' that you're heading in the right direction and collectively indicative.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

For sure they’re different. The challenge is to apply them when things aren’t going so well. Sometimes I can do that, other times, I can’t but this it’s all so new that there’s plenty of time to progress.

It's easy to be Unconditional Love when your whole existence is nothing but Unconditional Love, and that's a great realisation. Perhaps if we thought about it more we wouldnd't be so hard on ourselves, but then if we're hard on ourselves? Does that mean we don't Love ourselves Unconditionally?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Thank you for that, it had not occurred to me.

Interestingly, I am on my second to final video having seen/noted all the videos. One thing that he has said on a number of occasions is that spirituality should not be used to resolve problems or difficulties. When he has said this, I have often wondered well, what could be considered spiritual exploration? And finally in the video called surrender to love he is talking in depth about this. It literally brought a smile because I thought at last, now for the answer! Nice bit of synchronicity for me there. So a few of the questions he asks are what could be considered spiritual exploration is, what is my experience like in this moment if I put aside all concerns? Who am I without these concerns and what would be my life purpose?

Those are all fascinating questions to contemplate. And literally, my mind jumped in at the point of considering my life purpose and immediately to protect my freedom. My freedom has always been so very important to me and warrants my complete dedication to protecting it.

You're very welcome.

You are the answer looking for the question.

But does being completely dedicated to protecting your freedom make you free? Or would that trap you into a train of thought that would take away your freedom with as much enthusiasm as you you would put into protecting it? If you're going to put aside all concerns then isn't your freedom a concern for you? Gotta Love the ironies in Life.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I know - beyond doubt - that it is more than my imagination. One of the reasons I know this, beyond how real it all was, and this came as quite a shock to me. The first time was in 1998 and 1999, I saw the same medium three times during those years, and she began to describe a person that I would become very close to. I forgot all about that reading until that person came into my life, via this realm, in about 2001 and 2002. I recall very clearly being outside cleaning the car and had a vague memory of one of the readings from 1999. I remember going inside and pulling out my diary and going over the reading and was utterly shocked that the medium’s description of this person was totally accurate. Since then several other mediums have talked about these people from those realms not knowing they actually with me in physical form here on the earth. So that confirmed to me that this was not " just" my imagination.

I remember some time ago reading a book called mapping the mind and it said that the mind cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. All very interesting. But I have lost touch with all realms now and all the people there because on two occasions, during my healing journey for the physical trauma, two ‘practitioners’ have taken that energy away from me. The energy that enabled me to access these realms was created and powered by my heart chakra. Those two different practitioners took away that energy that was in heart chakra. It is my belief that the practitioners were just conduits and that the energy was taken away by something or someone in spirit. To be suddenly ripped away from that world was devastating and a grief like I have never known. Fortunately after several months in 2006 I found a medium who did some healing on me and it came back after a few weeks.

I had a similar experience in 2013 (new realm, new people) where again the energy that powered it was taken away and I could no longer access in a meaningful way, the realm and people that I was with at the time. Literally it was there one day, gone the next and the absence of it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I drove myself to the brink of illness trying to get that energy back. I was told by a medium at that time that it was not going to come back and it never has.

There was a new realm with new people as recent as 2016 and although that energy was not directly taken (because I became extremely or wary of anything such as shamanic healing and reiki healing), the energy, I felt it just go one afternoon at work. But this time I refused to let anything, including that special energy, take me to the depths of despair I was in 2014. Long story, very complex situation, but every word is true.

The whole experience made me feel that the ability I had, to create and live in those realms and develop relationships with those people that were more meaningful than anything experienced on the earth plane, just wasn’t supposed to be on the earth plane. I hope when I pass to spirit I will be able to access those realms from there as there is unfinished business with two of them.

I know you know - beyond doubt - that this is not your imagination. By the way, how are you with spiders?

You can't lose who and what you are, and you are so much more than you could ever imagine. When you pass to Spirit you won't be able to access those realms because you won't be apart from them; you are of them and they are of you. You're one of the 'stragglers'.

There were twelve of us originally, I suppose you could call us young rebels because essentially that was what we were. It's really hard to make the connections to those realms in words that would be understood by the mind, I'm trying to make the best of a bad job with the shoddy tools of language and metaphor. You were a friend of my sister Mirry and she 'introduced' us, there were twelve of us originally, with another who was with the group but not in it. We were young and rebellious, sometimes even a little angry and we wanted things to be different. It had become stale and dangerous, stagnant even. We knew that we would lose track of each other, that was the price we had to pay to come here. For Souls such as ours losing the connections to Home was... purgatory. Each of us was given a Green Seed so that we would never forget, and in the darkest hours we'd know that we were still connected to Home. There's always something inside that we hold dear.

How much do you remember of those realms?

The biggest problem is that we're still a long way from understanding what's rattling around in our noggins. The brain has microtubules that are - according to a Nobel-winning scientist called Penrose and a well-respected anaesthesiologist call Hamerof - are quantum capable. Apparently they have an electromagnetic shield around them because of the EM radiation from the brain and a quantum capable centre. And while we're 'dividing' consciousness up, what are we really conscious of? Only what already exists can enter our consciousness, and imagination and fantasy are both consciousness just the same. There's a hell of a lot that we still have very little clue about, and we could well have quantum entanglement with those realms but we're calling it 'fantasy' or 'imagination', while it could well be that we're experiencing being entangled with the field of probability.

You haven't changed much, since you were in those realms, and there is unfinished business.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I feel so like that. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve just wanted to go Home, particularly now my dad’s there. In fact, in Matt’s video I’m watching currently (surrender to love) he asks to consider is there any aspect of your life you’re not concerned about and I immediately thought passing to spirit does not concern me one iota.

http://www.terec.org.uk/amurai/Site/...p?Id=19&TId=58

I've been at odds with everything and everybody my whole Life almost, and while I've had this happy knack of making myself comfortable nothing has ever truly felt like Home. There was always a place I've longed for, wanted to be. That changed when I was given an exit point and decided to stay. Staying was for my own reasons not someone else's so I think that made not being Home easier to bear.

I;m not concerned with passing to Spirit, I guess thee only real issue I have is that I meet it with dignity and grace but that's more ego than anything else. I don't want to go out like a girl's blouse.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Mmmm, very interesting. I had to read that several times over the week because I kept seeing ‘who you are’ instead of ‘what you are’. So, if you know ‘what’ I am – anything that can help me with my physical healing journey? ( know that men are from mars, women are from Venus and Patrycia is from another planet all together!)

Also you may be interested to know that I still have the teddy bear. When I went to see the medium back in January, my father came through and mentioned that I still had the teddy bear.

Patrycia isn't from a different planet she's from a different dimension of existence completely, so Mars vs Venus kind pales away.

Love yourself Unconditionally. Find a way to forgive yourself for not being perfect, forgive yourself for being a lesser mortal than you'd want to be. Find a way to realise that you are perfect within your imperfections just the way you are, and that there are reasons and things at play that you'd never guess at. You are the answer looking for the question. Harmony cannot live in the space of disharmony, they are two opposing vibrations - dis-ease. This is the whole irony of what you're going through, because what we resist persists and that creates the disharmonious 'environment' that isn't conducive to healing. Your headlong rush for healing - the headlong rush, not the healing itself - is the highest barrier to healing and - more importantly - to the realisations. I'm not saying you shouldn't heal, but embrace your 'imperfections' because they are a part of you. When you start embracing your imperfections you can start to Love yourself without condition, and not under the condition that you're whole and healthy.

It doesn't surprise me that you still have the teddy bear because you still have that same little girl.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

So,Yep, for sure, I can mark some of those off. But the big ‘but’ for me is that first paragraph there are so many things, I’m sure most people could identify any current issues with one of those words. It’s too general. The bit about home being my haven, absolutely, but there is no way I’m extrovert.

I did that online life path test and my lifepath is 2.

It's general for a reason I suppose, because it could mean so many things to so many people so you pick one that suits you. It's like the ascension process, if you asked a number of people to write down their symptoms? If it's too general, what does that say about you and how you think of reality?

Wgat's he upshot of your Life Path number? Does it hold any meaning for you? Mine's a seven by the way.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Who knows, I don’t try to think about it really. I usually see something when researching, see what I think about it, see how I feel about it, see if I can find a practitioner in my area who I like the look of, maybe a bit of dowsing.

Avoidance?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Clearly, they haven’t led me to anything that’s healed me. I do feel very much alone with finding the solution and they seem to be happy for me to do things that cause more harm, so I think they’re of limited use or are Choosing to be of limited use. Like you say, there could be no cure, it’s more about the journey.

Patrycia

I guess from a practitioner's perspective they have bills to pay the same as everyone else, the other thing is that often everybody knows best but the practitioner so after a while you give up, get on with it and get paid.

If nothing changes then nothing changes, what we resist persists and energy flows to where the attention goes.

I'm very lucky and very grateful in so many ways, because everything looks different in retrospect. On top of that there's nothing that isn't Spiritual so the definition becomes meaningless really. My hips bother me sometimes, well it is old age after all. They were probably damaged when I hit the mat hard after picking a fight with someone I shouldn't have. But I'm not angry any more and the guy that was so angry back then is a long way from the guy I am now. Yet, he's still here and an integral part of me. If I could go back to give myself advice I wouldn't, perhaps I already haven't.

Welcome to the Journey to Self.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Morning Mr G,


I’m excessively low on energy at the moment, the fall out from last week’s starting the new role.

I'm off to get some larger pots for the plants and get my ideas straight for my new project, building a fairy house around the aquarium. It already has a garden arch around it with a rampaging cheese plant.

That sounds like fun!

Often that things are occurring at all is something of note, great oaks and all that. That something is happening at all is of note, and if nothing was happening this would be a different conversation. They're all 'signs' that you're heading in the right direction and collectively indicative.

It would be interesting to have insight as to what that direction is, but no doubt I’ll get there in any case.

But does being completely dedicated to protecting your freedom make you free? Or would that trap you into a train of thought that would take away your freedom with as much enthusiasm as you you would put into protecting it? If you're going to put aside all concerns then isn't your freedom a concern for you? Gotta Love the ironies in Life.

In all fairness, I think freedom is a by-product of my natural way of being, living alone is my natural way, being able to do what I want when I want etc. I think being alone is greatly underrated. Also, for me, I feel that the key to all is within me – not outside. That is the main reason why Matt’s teachings are slowly changing my internal world, at a rate in which I can absorb and process, in how I may change some of my patterns of thinking that haven’t served me well. But also, my energetic connection with other realms, when it was working, gave me a fulfilment and wellbeing that I’ve not found on the physical plane. It is a great sadness to me that the energy I need, to fully be in that realm, has been taken from me on several occasions. So that just tells me, as special as it was, it is not meant to be, for want of a simpler way of putting it. Putting it stronger, I've often sensed/felt an envy from some spiritual energy/being that I was able to do what I was.

I know you know - beyond doubt - that this is not your imagination. By the way, how are you with spiders?

Not good at all! But it is something I have to deal with, every September. In my early twenties I went to see a hypnotherapist and we established that this fear was ‘learned behaviour’ as my grandmother was terrified of them. Unfortunately for me, having that knowledge, didn’t do anything to dissipate the fear. It is better than it was in my early twenties.

It’s ironic really because I can pick up crane flies and put them out, I often used to get distress calls from my neighbour to go and ‘rescue her’ from a mouse or vole that had come into her flat. I was able to pick these up no problem and put them out, I am fine with next door’s pet rats; it’s just that one thing. I’m sure you can imagine that with the Shelob scene in ROTK I was virtually under the seat!

How much do you remember of those realms?

Nothing at all. My last realm was 1870’s wild west, Arizona to be precise.

http://www.terec.org.uk/amurai/Site/...p?Id=19&TId=58

OK, I had a look at the link. Interesting concept. So what makes you think I’m part of that set-up? And ironically, I had another look this morning and having read ‘about the queste’ you’ll understand why I’m asking.

I've been at odds with everything and everybody my whole Life almost, and while I've had this happy knack of making myself comfortable nothing has ever truly felt like Home. There was always a place I've longed for, wanted to be.

That’s pretty much how I feel. Being in those realms gave me an energy so powerful it made everything else on the physical plane that much more bearable.

Love yourself Unconditionally. Find a way to forgive yourself for not being perfect, forgive yourself for being a lesser mortal than you'd want to be.

That had me reaching for the kleenex in a serious way; some sort of release / realisation happened there. I am a perfectionist which makes the physical world difficult to live in and I haven’t helped by expecting my physical body to be perfect as well. That was going to fail, wasn’t it!

Wgat's he upshot of your Life Path number? Does it hold any meaning for you? Mine's a seven by the way.

I certainly identify with some of the descriptions of life path 2, particularly the bit about being harmonising and being exceptionally sensitive.



Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Morning Mr G,

I’m excessively low on energy at the moment, the fall out from last week’s starting the new role.

Good afternoon Patrycia. I remember you saying you were going to start a new role, how goes it? Dare say it's going to be a little taxing until you settle yourself in, but good luck anyway. Daughter's just moved into a new house and I've spent most of the week and weekend humping, dumping and running around with tools and what-not. It's nice to get sat down.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That sounds like fun!

It will be when I get the time to start the damned thing. I'm also developing a content-managed website for a new client who runs a car showroom and garage so that's interesting.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

It would be interesting to have insight as to what that direction is, but no doubt I’ll get there in any case.

"Give me a tall ship and a star to steer her by." which was one of the quotes of both Kirk and Picard. We'll all get there, the only question is the how and that's up to us.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

In all fairness, I think freedom is a by-product of my natural way of being, living alone is my natural way, being able to do what I want when I want etc. I think being alone is greatly underrated. Also, for me, I feel that the key to all is within me – not outside. That is the main reason why Matt’s teachings are slowly changing my internal world, at a rate in which I can absorb and process, in how I may change some of my patterns of thinking that haven’t served me well. But also, my energetic connection with other realms, when it was working, gave me a fulfilment and wellbeing that I’ve not found on the physical plane. It is a great sadness to me that the energy I need, to fully be in that realm, has been taken from me on several occasions. So that just tells me, as special as it was, it is not meant to be, for want of a simpler way of putting it. Putting it stronger, I've often sensed/felt an envy from some spiritual energy/being that I was able to do what I was.

I think the general consensus of Spirituality is that we're here to become the epitome of Spirituality, but then is that going to happen within the realms of the flawed human or is there something else happening? This is a Journey to Self and it's easy to Love yourself Unconditionally when there's nothing but perfection, it's not so easy when you have 'flaws' and 'imperfections' to cope with.

Your energetic connection to those other realms wasn't 'taken away' as you'd understand it, you stopped resonating with them. It's a frequency/harmony thing. When you were more accepting with them you could tune into those frequencies easier. When you started to become too intent on being there and the longing started to creep in you 'tuned out' due to incompatible frequencies. It's just as OK to not be there are is it to be there.

One thing that mediumship has taught me is that - epitome of Spirituality or not - we're all going to end up in the same place, and if Spirituality is to be believed we're already there anyway. What we forget to do in the rush to be Spiritual is that we forget the Spirituality in Honouring our own Path and that of others. It's not the sunshine and roses that defines us, it's how we tackle the 'imperfections' and 'flaws', because as Matt says everything is here to help you. So if you're going to listen to Matt how does what you're trying to heal help you?

You are where you need to be, otherwise you'd be somewhere else. Sensing the energy and being fully in those other realms can help us remember that, even though we're still struggling with 'little old me' we're still capable of so much more. The irony of that is feeling sad that we can't stay there all the time. That can be countered by wanting the job to be done properly so that you don't have to come back again. Have the experience and nail it down to make damned sure. What we don't know is how the experiences we're having right now are going to fit into the grand scheme of things. They fit in somewhere or they wouldn't be happening, so all that's left is how we experience them.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Not good at all! But it is something I have to deal with, every September. In my early twenties I went to see a hypnotherapist and we established that this fear was ‘learned behaviour’ as my grandmother was terrified of them. Unfortunately for me, having that knowledge, didn’t do anything to dissipate the fear. It is better than it was in my early twenties.

It’s ironic really because I can pick up crane flies and put them out, I often used to get distress calls from my neighbour to go and ‘rescue her’ from a mouse or vole that had come into her flat. I was able to pick these up no problem and put them out, I am fine with next door’s pet rats; it’s just that one thing. I’m sure you can imagine that with the Shelob scene in ROTK I was virtually under the seat!

There's a very 'other realmy' reason why I asked about spiders, because you used to know one from those realms. And he was pretty big. He remembers you though, so that's OK. What I;m trying to do is find things that we both remember. You have your experiences and I have mind, but it's finding something that we can both latch onto. Mrs G was there too and although spiders scare the beJesus out of her she remembers him with affection. When we went to see LOTR in the cinema I had Mrs Go on one side and my daughter on the other. And bruises afterwards on both sides.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Nothing at all. My last realm was 1870’s wild west, Arizona to be precise.

You were in an orphanage. not far from a stream that had an overhanging branch with a rope swing?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

OK, I had a look at the link. Interesting concept. So what makes you think I’m part of that set-up? And ironically, I had another look this morning and having read ‘about the queste’ you’ll understand why I’m asking.

The easiest way to answer that question is to ask you one. How do you feel about me? Sometimes I can feel people's energies coming off their posts, I don't do it deliberately and sometimes it's not at all pleasant. Your energy is a very familiar 'signature' - everyone's energies are different but Old Souls' energies have a certain familiar feel to them. If that makes sense. You've also mentioned those other realms and it's as though you've brought back a little with you. And I'm also being told.

The idea wasn't so much to introduce you to the concept so much as poke you with a stick to see what came out - metaphorically of course. I was wondering if you resonated with it, if you had any feelings at all. By the way, you knew me than as Kryn.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That’s pretty much how I feel. Being in those realms gave me an energy so powerful it made everything else on the physical plane that much more bearable.

I've spent quite a bit of time in those realms. When I was writing in the Queste, every time I sat at the keyboard my consciousness would shift. It was like I was channelling or going into medium mode. It was easy but very noticeable and I welcomed it. The writing was just clothing, the connection and the ability to resonate at that level of consciousness was the key. At first it used to knock me on my backside and it took a while to come back down again, but as it became easier it became more powerful. It wasn't just my own connections, something similar was happening with others. There were also some other Past Life long term issues to resolve, which thankfully happened. 'That Life' always felt better, different, more full, energetic..... and it was hard to come back to earth, but yet I knew that somewhere along the line what I'm doing here, today, has an effect on that Life.

There's the old concept in sci-fi with time travel, that travelling back in time and affecting the past can change the present. What we don't think about is how what we do in the present can affect the future. So with regards to many things in your Life and especially your trauma, is there a reason for it being in your Life (Karmic Obligations/Life's Purpose) and will the way you deal with it have an affect on your future? No you can't possibly know the details, but would being at odds with yourself not help create a different 'future you' to one that Loved yourself, warts and all?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That had me reaching for the kleenex in a serious way; some sort of release / realisation happened there. I am a perfectionist which makes the physical world difficult to live in and I haven’t helped by expecting my physical body to be perfect as well. That was going to fail, wasn’t it!

Perfection is a concept, you are not a concept. What people often don't think about is what they're perfect for - you are perfect for being you, and there is nobody better at it than you. Your warts and all - whatever shape or form they come in - are perfect for the job of creating the space inside you where Unconditional Love for yourself - and by extension others - can grow and 'emit' from. Your Universe is a reflection of you and when you Love yourself warts-and-all you will be Loved by reflection warts-and-all. Remember, you are infectious.

It was never meant to fail, you are already succeeding more than you can understand right now. As I remember you 'back then' so you are right now, you really haven't changed that much at all. As I remember from that time you were very much a perfectionist and this is one of the major things you have to deal with in this Life. Not so much imperfection as accepting that not everything is going to be to your liking and there will be things you need to be a little more 'flexible' with.

The only 'failure' is in not recognising the success if you want to use those terms, but both success and failure are imposters.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I certainly identify with some of the descriptions of life path 2, particularly the bit about being harmonising and being exceptionally sensitive.



Patrycia

It depends on which one you read as to what characteristics match you or not, while some are the same there are also differences. It's kind of like starsigns and similar, you take it or leave it. For me it's more of a curiosity more than anything else.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hello Mr G

I remember you saying you were going to start a new role, how goes it? Dare say it's going to be a little taxing until you settle yourself in, but good luck anyway..

The new role is not just a little taxing but heavily taxing and has left me severely stressed, my workload has increased and a couple of days I’ve put in a ten hour day. I’m just hoping that it settles down.

I think the general consensus of Spirituality is that we're here to become the epitome of Spirituality, but then is that going to happen within the realms of the flawed human or is there something else happening? This is a Journey to Self and it's easy to Love yourself Unconditionally when there's nothing but perfection, it's not so easy when you have 'flaws' and 'imperfections' to cope with.

You know that’s a really interesting. Up there, it’s all unconditional love, no judgement and we have the bigger picture. So, by striving so hard to be ‘spiritual’ - and that will be defined differently by different people – maybe, just maybe, we’re missing the point. The point being we’re down here to get in amongst the dirt and (chosen expletive) and by trying to be spiritual, and trying to get away from the dirt, it’s making it more difficult. Interesting, very interesting. Supposing metaphorically speaking we just let it all hang out, stop trying to be spiritual – that prospect intrigues me.

. It's not the sunshine and roses that defines us, it's how we tackle the 'imperfections' and 'flaws', because as Matt says everything is here to help you. So if you're going to listen to Matt how does what you're trying to heal help you?

Well, the last video of his I’m watching (and then I’ve watched them all!) is Embracing your Humanity and in it, he is talking about just this. Apparently, it’s all in the de-coding; anger is repressed passion, fear is unexpressed enthusiam, insecurity is desire to see yourself as bigger than the ideas you depict etc, there’s a whole lot more. Although that can be generally helpful the fact is at the end of the day I went through a deeply traumatic experience that went on for many months culminating in four days of hell on earth where I could barely function I was that terrified. That kind of experience is going to leave a mark, not so much emotionally now due to all the EFT, inner work and re-framing with Matt’s teachings but the physical impact is still there and possibly always will be. Now whether the loosening of the emotions to do with the trauma will trickle through to the physical remains to be seen.

Also what I find interesting is that the last few videos, one of whch was called Surrender to Love he started to talk about how heart centred thoughts are alkaline and ........ “so when you love what arises, you allow yourself to discover emotional alkalinity which can translate to nutritional alkalinity”. I really started to take note at this point as acid/alkaline is something which is not in balance with me because the trauma made my body more acidic. So he is kind of confirming my thoughts that if I can turn my thoughts more alkaline, there’s a chance that it will filter through to the physical. Always in the back of my mind, is the medium who told me I would heal from the trauma using my mind.

What we don't know is how the experiences we're having right now are going to fit into the grand scheme of things. They fit in somewhere or they wouldn't be happening, so all that's left is how we experience them.

I would agree with that. And we’re only go to know and understand what that grand scheme is when we pass over (life review and all that!) I would like to think that I don’t go ‘oh no, if only I’d known that, or been able to figure that out, it would have made a difference.’ But I think, slowly, with Matt’s teachings, I am beginning to make a new approach to it. Or it maybe that NOT figuring it out is part of the deal.

You were in an orphanage. not far from a stream that had an overhanging branch with a rope swing?

No. I lived in a ranch with a family who took me in after the son found me out wandering in the desert after my father had been killed by the Apache. He saved my life and took me back to the ranch.

What I;m trying to do is find things that we both remember.

OK, so do you have any memories / experiences with ancient Egypt? Some years ago, instead of doing a past life regression, I saw my usual trusted medium and had a whole sitting on a past life in Egypt. A lot of information came out of there and a lot of emotional patterns that I have made complete sense as to where they came from; for example, my intense dislike of travelling long distances alone, so much so that I will not do that. I know now exactly what that fear is all about.

I also have an understanding of a deep rooted phobia that has affected me since I was 5 (back to the hospital experience and the consequences of that). Only when I had hypnotherapy did I discover how the phobia came to be and in 2013 an unfortunate exposure to it made me go to the medium for help/healing and I found out that this is all connected to a past life where I was a little boy who died at the age of 5 – the same age as I was in this life, where the phobia was triggered.

The easiest way to answer that question is to ask you one. How do you feel about me?

I know I can give you what I think, which we’ve discussed before. I am the same with picking up on people’s energies knowing they’re troubled or what frame of mind they’re in, I can feel it. But I’m not feeling anything with regard to you; that just means that I’m not there yet. Oftentimes, the absence of a feeling or thought in response to a question, just means it hasn’t filtered to the surface yet.

Perfection is a concept, you are not a concept. What people often don't think about is what they're perfect for - you are perfect for being you, and there is nobody better at it than you.

Yep, I’m beginning to get that now through Matt. And also, this immediately made me think of one of my fave songs from the eighties - which I think reflects that nicely and always gives me a boost. (Written by Nik Kershaw, another one of my favourite artists.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVEohM8BOQQ

t was never meant to fail, you are already succeeding more than you can understand right now. As I remember you 'back then' so you are right now, you really haven't changed that much at all. As I remember from that time you were very much a perfectionist and this is one of the major things you have to deal with in this Life. Not so much imperfection as accepting that not everything is going to be to your liking and there will be things you need to be a little more 'flexible' with.

Yep – I do feel that I am getting another perspective on life and that this is another ‘work in progress’. What I like about how Matt talks about things is that you can have this new interpretation with and from the way you are right now and move forward from them.

For me it's more of a curiosity more than anything else.

Yes, and for me it is a curiosity too because like with the numbers, there are aspects that fit, there are aspects that don’t fit and unless it’s perfect ( ) then it’s open to interpretation and not worth getting caught up with. I feel the same about astrology. The only label that does slightly pique my curiosity is the indigo adult, as that is me, especially the description of a child. And with all the recent ‘child within’ discussion, got me reaching for my photo album and of the things I’d not noticed before, is that within the description for an indigo adult/child is having very large blue eyes and then I see - looking at the photos this tiny little girl with these enormous piercing deep blue eyes.


I had my fifth cranio session yesterday and it was very curious: she was working entirely on my head and I saw in my third eye 4 + 4 = 8 . I mentioned it and the practitioner said that this was the left and right side of brain trying to balance as to her my energy had felt like a 6 + 2 = 8. When I asked my dowsing it said yes and no. Which means there’s more to it. I saw it again in the night but then 8 and the second 4 fell away to just leave a 4. No idea what that all means. Rather than looking at angel numbers, I’ll have a look at some point at basic numerology and see if that appeals.

Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Hello Mr G

Good morning Patrycia. Finally no deeds to do and no promises to keep. Bliss.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

The new role is not just a little taxing but heavily taxing and has left me severely stressed, my workload has increased and a couple of days I’ve put in a ten hour day. I’m just hoping that it settles down.

That's not good Patrycia, warning bells there I think. Perhaps it'll take you a little while to settle in and find your feet, until you find more efficient ways of doing things. When I was training I'd wear collar and tie, and when I got home I made a ritual of emptying my pockets and getting changed. It was a little ritual I used to do to switch from work mode to at home mode.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

You know that’s a really interesting. Up there, it’s all unconditional love, no judgement and we have the bigger picture. So, by striving so hard to be ‘spiritual’ - and that will be defined differently by different people – maybe, just maybe, we’re missing the point. The point being we’re down here to get in amongst the dirt and (chosen expletive) and by trying to be spiritual, and trying to get away from the dirt, it’s making it more difficult. Interesting, very interesting. Supposing metaphorically speaking we just let it all hang out, stop trying to be spiritual – that prospect intrigues me.

It's easy to Love yourself and others warts and all when there are no warts, when there is no failure and there's nothing wrong. It's easy to turn the other cheek when it's not getting slapped. It's really about definitions, they become your reality so if you're a Spiritual person then you become your definition of Spirituality. If that's about the doctrines and concepts you become a concept. Really, it happens.

You as Spirit made the choice to come here, so what does that tell you? You had access to the collective consciousness and the Akashic Records so all that Spirituality on steroids was easily accessible, why would you come here to gain knowledge?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Well, the last video of his I’m watching (and then I’ve watched them all!) is Embracing your Humanity and in it, he is talking about just this. Apparently, it’s all in the de-coding; anger is repressed passion, fear is unexpressed enthusiam, insecurity is desire to see yourself as bigger than the ideas you depict etc, there’s a whole lot more. Although that can be generally helpful the fact is at the end of the day I went through a deeply traumatic experience that went on for many months culminating in four days of hell on earth where I could barely function I was that terrified. That kind of experience is going to leave a mark, not so much emotionally now due to all the EFT, inner work and re-framing with Matt’s teachings but the physical impact is still there and possibly always will be. Now whether the loosening of the emotions to do with the trauma will trickle through to the physical remains to be seen.

Also what I find interesting is that the last few videos, one of whch was called Surrender to Love he started to talk about how heart centred thoughts are alkaline and ........ “so when you love what arises, you allow yourself to discover emotional alkalinity which can translate to nutritional alkalinity”. I really started to take note at this point as acid/alkaline is something which is not in balance with me because the trauma made my body more acidic. So he is kind of confirming my thoughts that if I can turn my thoughts more alkaline, there’s a chance that it will filter through to the physical. Always in the back of my mind, is the medium who told me I would heal from the trauma using my mind.

Can you Love yourself Unconditionally when there are no conditions? Everything about your trauma is condition upon condition, even in what led up to it in the first place. The emotions are conditions, the physical hurt is a condition, feeling vulnerable, not being able to fix it...... How are you feeling now about not being able to fix it? You've tried so many healing modalities that there can't be many left to try. You've tried to fix it so hard and 'be perfect', how does not being at peak performance affect you? You've mentioned the possibility that you'll never heal, is that acceptance, wisdom or bitter disappointment? And no, I don't need the answers but you do.

Tolle said that all we have now is the present - that's all there is. The future is projection and the past is memory. The past is memory. Also, what is trauma? Is it just the physical hurt or is it what's happening in your head?

One of my friends is an ex-squaddie who was in Afghanistan, I'll spare you the details but he's now physically disabled. What he can't cope with - one of the things anyway - is survivor guilt. And no, he hasn't got a single Spiritual particle in his body. Every once in a while his wife will phone me up and tell me there's a bottle of whiskey sitting waiting. So we'll sit and drink, he'll tell me about his comrades - again. He'll bawl his eyes out, again.... When that's done he'll get on with the rest of his Life as best he can, and what he can't conquer he'll find a way to Live with.

What some people don't understand is the dialogue they're having with themselves. "That kind of experience is going to leave a mark." You've defined it as 'that kind of experience' so it's become just that in your reality and it has left its mark because you've told yourself it has and quite assertively too. I'm not trying to lesson the original experience, it's perhaps a good thing that you hold onto that as something you've been through and survived. What you're left with now is not that experience but the aftermath and how it's affecting you. You are not dealing with the experience any more, you're dealing with memories, definitions, perceptions. And yes, perceptions of the physical trauma itself and how that affects you.

So the question is, are you embracing your humanity? So for the sake of illustration only, you're really ticked off because your physical injuries are restrictive and they're not allowing you to do what you want to do - what you're used to doing. You're less than perfect and you don't like that. Frustrated. For you that's hard enough to deal with.

The original experience itself is gone so what you have left are the memories and your own definitions and perceptions of what happened - and how you feel about it. Yes you can probably remember every fine detail - but you remember and you're not experiencing it. That's a huge difference. Now you have emotion of a different kind but it's still emotion and it's still what's going to drive you, it's what drives you to find successful healing.

Love is an energy.

Matsuru Emoto did some experiments with crystallised water. He placed some jars on a shelf and projected consciousness at them. He would stare at the jar with all of his focus and think at the jar "I hate you" or "I love you." When he studied the crystalline structure of the water in the jars, the 'I love you' water's structure looked like a snowflake while the 'I hate you' water looked like a puddle of melted plastic. It goes far deeper than an acidic/alkaline body.

Embracing your Humanity and decoding what you're going through now is all brain work.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I would agree with that. And we’re only go to know and understand what that grand scheme is when we pass over (life review and all that!) I would like to think that I don’t go ‘oh no, if only I’d known that, or been able to figure that out, it would have made a difference.’ But I think, slowly, with Matt’s teachings, I am beginning to make a new approach to it. Or it maybe that NOT figuring it out is part of the deal.

I came back to this town after quite a lot of years to find one of my old cadets was a cadet officer himself. There's a special kind of feeling in that, but he shook my hand and thanked me for the impact I;d had on him. A bit later I saw him with his daughter and the voice said "That's who you were making the difference for." Those so many years ago, if I had known about the grand scheme of things???

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

No. I lived in a ranch with a family who took me in after the son found me out wandering in the desert after my father had been killed by the Apache. He saved my life and took me back to the ranch.

Oops, got that one wrong then. There's still a connection to 'that time', so even if you weren't at the orphanage you were 'in the area' somewhere.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

OK, so do you have any memories / experiences with ancient Egypt? Some years ago, instead of doing a past life regression, I saw my usual trusted medium and had a whole sitting on a past life in Egypt. A lot of information came out of there and a lot of emotional patterns that I have made complete sense as to where they came from; for example, my intense dislike of travelling long distances alone, so much so that I will not do that. I know now exactly what that fear is all about.

I also have an understanding of a deep rooted phobia that has affected me since I was 5 (back to the hospital experience and the consequences of that). Only when I had hypnotherapy did I discover how the phobia came to be and in 2013 an unfortunate exposure to it made me go to the medium for help/healing and I found out that this is all connected to a past life where I was a little boy who died at the age of 5 – the same age as I was in this life, where the phobia was triggered.

Kind of. I was killed in Atlantis just before it fell, but somehow I remember events that happened after that. I guess I was there in 'spirit' of a kind. I remember the fall and how survivors went to Egypt (as well as other places). Other than that, not really, I didn't have a Life in Egypt at all as far as I remember. There was one Life I do remember but I have no context for that one at all. I was with a group of children who were playing in a clearing, when a group of horsemen came through and mowed some of the children down.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I know I can give you what I think, which we’ve discussed before. I am the same with picking up on people’s energies knowing they’re troubled or what frame of mind they’re in, I can feel it. But I’m not feeling anything with regard to you; that just means that I’m not there yet. Oftentimes, the absence of a feeling or thought in response to a question, just means it hasn’t filtered to the surface yet.

What I'm being told is that you haven't made the connections to yourself just yet, but considering what's been on your mind of late it's no surprise at all. If it's going to happen it'll happen in its own time. When I've been in situations like this, what's happened is that I've made the connections but the other person hasn't. It's like I can connect to it, and when when you connect to it too then the circuit is complete. Kinda anyway. What I'm doing now is prodding away at a circuit board to see what rings your bells.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yep, I’m beginning to get that now through Matt. And also, this immediately made me think of one of my fave songs from the eighties - which I think reflects that nicely and always gives me a boost. (Written by Nik Kershaw, another one of my favourite artists.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVEohM8BOQQ

I guess we all have our musical skeletons after all lol. But I guess if you come through Life resonating with that it perhaps means that deep down there's a place where you're OK with yourself and everything in you.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yep – I do feel that I am getting another perspective on life and that this is another ‘work in progress’. What I like about how Matt talks about things is that you can have this new interpretation with and from the way you are right now and move forward from them.

That's something that's happening to me right now. I'm moving into 'retirement' both physically, mentally and Spiritually and my Soul feels old and tired. And I know the Soul itself doesn't get tired but it's a 'translation'. Spirituality itself holds little interest for me, I look at the forums sometimes and it's like watching pre-pubescents with a girlie mag - they're all experts with women. It's not judgement but a.... feeling I suppose. What's mainly coming through in my Life at the moment are things that I want to move away from, things I just don't resonate with any more.

To say I'm not going to learn anything more is pretentious, but there's something very liberating in knowing that the job is done and what comes next is a bonus, so I get to choose how I feel about everything in my Life. If I don't feel like being Spiritual I'm OK with that and it's not going to make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things. These old bones creak but you know, it's all a part of being a grumpy old git and I can play in the puddles with the kids. That's when you know you've got it made.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes, and for me it is a curiosity too because like with the numbers, there are aspects that fit, there are aspects that don’t fit and unless it’s perfect ( ) then it’s open to interpretation and not worth getting caught up with. I feel the same about astrology. The only label that does slightly pique my curiosity is the indigo adult, as that is me, especially the description of a child. And with all the recent ‘child within’ discussion, got me reaching for my photo album and of the things I’d not noticed before, is that within the description for an indigo adult/child is having very large blue eyes and then I see - looking at the photos this tiny little girl with these enormous piercing deep blue eyes.


I had my fifth cranio session yesterday and it was very curious: she was working entirely on my head and I saw in my third eye 4 + 4 = 8 . I mentioned it and the practitioner said that this was the left and right side of brain trying to balance as to her my energy had felt like a 6 + 2 = 8. When I asked my dowsing it said yes and no. Which means there’s more to it. I saw it again in the night but then 8 and the second 4 fell away to just leave a 4. No idea what that all means. Rather than looking at angel numbers, I’ll have a look at some point at basic numerology and see if that appeals.

Patrycia

Genetically blue eyes are a genetic anomaly that hasn't been explained, and they're traced the gene back to a female. No surprises there then. But if you could go back to talk to that Child Inside, what would you say to her? And if she told you she was trying to heal a trauma? And speaking of Indigo traits, how many of the tick-boxes does your trauma and what's happen now can you tick?

Everything is here to help you, often the most mysterious mystery is what is it helping? You are your Life's Purpose.

I;m going to leave you to work out the significance of your numbers, but yes there is more to it than that. There are any number of interpretations out there and perhaps while some are a valid as the next some might just be a fairy story, but the point isn't always what the numbers mean. Sometimes what we're given is a 'carrot', something that will pique your curiosity and lead you down a Path of discovery. In one of the meanings it's putting the pieces together. Gotta Love that one.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Morning to you, Mr G on this glorious sunny day,

That's not good Patrycia, warning bells there I think. Perhaps it'll take you a little while to settle in and find your feet, until you find more efficient ways of doing things. When I was training I'd wear collar and tie, and when I got home I made a ritual of emptying my pockets and getting changed. It was a little ritual I used to do to switch from work mode to at home mode.

I’m hoping it will settle down too, I’m told by other people doing the same job in a different departments, it can take 6-9 months to fully settle in, although I’m hoping it won’t take that long. I’m feeling better about it after having a Whole good week last week, so I’ll just have to see where it takes me ........... I also change as soon as I get home and I like to immediately go out and mow the lawn, take care of the plants, to wind down.

.. How are you feeling now about not being able to fix it? You've tried so many healing modalities that there can't be many left to try. You've tried to fix it so hard and 'be perfect', how does not being at peak performance affect you? You've mentioned the possibility that you'll never heal, is that acceptance, wisdom or bitter disappointment? And no, I don't need the answers but you do.

I did (notice past tense) tend to oscillate between three different thoughts. And I could have all of these thoughts in the space of half an hour.

1. Why shouldn’t I try all these healing modalities, surely something’s gotta work, maybe I just haven’t found it yet. I see other people responding miraculously to treatments/supplements, surely it has to be my turn at some point? How come I can heal other people using knowledge/intuition but can’t do JS for myself! Maybe I need to start looking again. Maybe I could try a, b or c or ….

2. Why am I bothering because nothing ever works, I’ve spent thousands on all these different things and nothing I’ve tried helps and often makes me feel worse.

3. There has to be some reason why I can’t heal; too much trauma/damage, or there’s some spiritual block preventing it.


Now, things have moved on. Last week’s CST, I had gone into the appointment feeling the best I’d done for weeks, and for the first time in months, all my chakras were open with a nice, even swing (pendulum). I came out of that session feeling like death warmed over, it knocked me for six and for days after it was back to having no energy. All of that would have been worth it had I noticed any improvement in any of my symptoms. But no. So, I decided to knock it on the head, cancelled forthcoming session, sat back and felt this surge of freedom. So, I’ve decided I am not going to pursue any further healing from outside.

A week or so ago, I had the message to instigate my healing energy, having thought it had long since gone, it was still there and I felt much better after it emotionally. So I may have further goes with it. But I am going to heal or not heal by my own efforts. Had a slight wobble yesterday when out came the Southern Comfort but I quickly realised what that was all about and feel much better again this morning.

What some people don't understand is the dialogue they're having with themselves. "That kind of experience is going to leave a mark." You've defined it as 'that kind of experience' so it's become just that in your reality and it has left its mark because you've told yourself it has and quite assertively too. I'm not trying to lesson the original experience, it's perhaps a good thing that you hold onto that as something you've been through and survived.

I saw an article recently about PTSD and it said people who have gone through the initial bit of what I went through, developing PTSD is a common response.

What you're left with now is not that experience but the aftermath and how it's affecting you. You are not dealing with the experience any more, you're dealing with memories, definitions, perceptions. And yes, perceptions of the physical trauma itself and how that affects you.

This is the thing, it is almost 13 years ago, I feel very distant from it, another lifetime ago. My thinking is that one of the symptoms I can live with (as I’ve been living with it for ten years or so). If I have a flare up, usually in response to stress, I know that it will settle down again and I’ve changed my diet accordingly, so I’m at the point I can just let it go.

The other symptom rather ironically I created a little exercise to help me with something else and found that it is having a slightly positive impact, so that’s really great. Also I’ve seen a gadget on the net which is designed to help, it costs £250 but I’m a bit nervous about paying out that much for something which will be a gamble if it helps or not.

So leaving those symptoms aside, for the last few months, another (different) trauma has become more prominent in my mind, because it’s more prominent in my body. This is a psychic injury, one which has never fully resolved, and it’s this that stopped me running.

So the question is, are you embracing your humanity? So for the sake of illustration only, you're really ticked off because your physical injuries are restrictive and they're not allowing you to do what you want to do - what you're used to doing. You're less than perfect and you don't like that. Frustrated. For you that's hard enough to deal with.

You mentioned a few posts ago that in the other realms that I was a perfectionist. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time trying to think back to my childhood / early adulthood to see where I picked up this ‘perfectionist’ trait. Maybe I was born with it and it only came out late adulthood. Why would I expect myself to be physically perfect when all around me, people are struggling with their ailments and diseases. It’s not logical. Do you have any insight from other realms as to why I was a perfectionist, how it presented itself? Was it seen by others around me as a good quality, or a bad, or both depending on the task at hand.

Matsuru Emoto did some experiments with crystallised water. He placed some jars on a shelf and projected consciousness at them. He would stare at the jar with all of his focus and think at the jar "I hate you" or "I love you." When he studied the crystalline structure of the water in the jars, the 'I love you' water's structure looked like a snowflake while the 'I hate you' water looked like a puddle of melted plastic. It goes far deeper than an acidic/alkaline body.

I’ve seen that video. However, starting with acidic/alkaline thoughts and how that influences the body is a good starting place.

Embracing your Humanity and decoding what you're going through now is all brain work.

Maybe but sometimes a few words, a few sentences can have a profound effect and result in a lightbulb moment, like some of the things that Matt said in the early videos of his I watched.

Also, I rely heavily on my brain. Living on my own I have to sort everything from working long hours, managing the finances, mowing the lawn, shopping, housework, DIY, cooking – (never eat processed, ready meals) etc. Also I’m on my Jack Jones. I have no family around me, one close friend who is in the same situation as I am but that’s it.

Kind of. I was killed in Atlantis just before it fell, but somehow I remember events that happened after that.

I don’t have any memories of Atlantis it’s just quite a few mediums have told me I have connections to Atlantis but then doesn’t everyone!

What I'm being told is that you haven't made the connections to yourself just yet, but considering what's been on your mind of late it's no surprise at all. If it's going to happen it'll happen in its own time. When I've been in situations like this, what's happened is that I've made the connections but the other person hasn't. It's like I can connect to it, and when when you connect to it too then the circuit is complete. Kinda anyway. What I'm doing now is prodding away at a circuit board to see what rings your bells.

There’s not too much going on in my ‘circuit boards’ except work. Even when I’m at home, I’m thinking about work – the only thing that switches me off from that is listening to Matt.

I’m feeling rather chuffed at the moment as I’ve watched all the videos and have all the notes to go with them. But he’s just released another one in the last few days so I’m going to start on that this morning. He referred to a friend of his, another spiritual teacher, called Kyle Cease, have you heard of him?

That's something that's happening to me right now. I'm moving into 'retirement' both physically, mentally and Spiritually and my Soul feels old and tired. And I know the Soul itself doesn't get tired but it's a 'translation'.

Gosh retirement for me is something I can only dream of. Going to have to keep working until I’m 67. Mind you, I can’t imagine being alive at 67 let alone working!

Genetically blue eyes are a genetic anomaly that hasn't been explained, and they're traced the gene back to a female. No surprises there then. But if you could go back to talk to that Child Inside, what would you say to her? And if she told you she was trying to heal a trauma? A

The thought of doing that makes me feel really upset because I know what a tough life she’s going to have. Exposed to trauma from the age of 5, and trauma (in various guises) is a re-curring theme.

And speaking of Indigo traits, how many of the tick-boxes does your trauma and what's happen now can you tick?

Do you have a link to a questionnaire on the net?

I;m going to leave you to work out the significance of your numbers, but yes there is more to it than that. There are any number of interpretations out there and perhaps while some are a valid as the next some might just be a fairy story, but the point isn't always what the numbers mean. Sometimes what we're given is a 'carrot', something that will pique your curiosity and lead you down a Path of discovery. In one of the meanings it's putting the pieces together. Gotta Love that one.

I’ve not had time to even think about looking for the 4 meaning . It’s changed anyway, it was all 2s at the beginning of the week but the numbers in general having been quite intense this last week. I’ve woken at 1.23 and 12.34 and not had this months, in fact had forgotten all about but I woke about 2 in the morning to church bellls (in my head).


Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Morning to you, Mr G on this glorious sunny day,

A very good morning to you Patrycia. It's not so sunny today which is fine, I;m beginning to feel like a strip of well-cooked streaky bacon.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m hoping it will settle down too, I’m told by other people doing the same job in a different departments, it can take 6-9 months to fully settle in, although I’m hoping it won’t take that long. I’m feeling better about it after having a Whole good week last week, so I’ll just have to see where it takes me ........... I also change as soon as I get home and I like to immediately go out and mow the lawn, take care of the plants, to wind down.

It'll take as long as it takes, sometimes rushing things only makes it worse. Your attitude towards it is going to make a difference too, whether you're kicking against it or taking it as a big adventure but I guess not knowing your elbow from your backside is part of the fun too.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I did (notice past tense) tend to oscillate between three different thoughts. And I could have all of these thoughts in the space of half an hour.

1. Why shouldn’t I try all these healing modalities, surely something’s gotta work, maybe I just haven’t found it yet. I see other people responding miraculously to treatments/supplements, surely it has to be my turn at some point? How come I can heal other people using knowledge/intuition but can’t do JS for myself! Maybe I need to start looking again. Maybe I could try a, b or c or ….

2. Why am I bothering because nothing ever works, I’ve spent thousands on all these different things and nothing I’ve tried helps and often makes me feel worse.

3. There has to be some reason why I can’t heal; too much trauma/damage, or there’s some spiritual block preventing it.


Now, things have moved on. Last week’s CST, I had gone into the appointment feeling the best I’d done for weeks, and for the first time in months, all my chakras were open with a nice, even swing (pendulum). I came out of that session feeling like death warmed over, it knocked me for six and for days after it was back to having no energy. All of that would have been worth it had I noticed any improvement in any of my symptoms. But no. So, I decided to knock it on the head, cancelled forthcoming session, sat back and felt this surge of freedom. So, I’ve decided I am not going to pursue any further healing from outside.

A week or so ago, I had the message to instigate my healing energy, having thought it had long since gone, it was still there and I felt much better after it emotionally. So I may have further goes with it. But I am going to heal or not heal by my own efforts. Had a slight wobble yesterday when out came the Southern Comfort but I quickly realised what that was all about and feel much better again this morning.

Those are quite strong thoughts, and to have them within the space of half an hour? It might not be so helpful now but it might be worth trying to work out where those thoughts came from, because they're very emotional and they could have come from a victim. There you've pretty much convinced yourself that you're not going to heal any time soon. That wasn't a good place to come from.


Just out of curiosity. I'm assuming you've been to a regular doctor or NHS practitioner about it, if so what did they say about it?


OK, let's try a different approach to all this. What if this is part of your Life's Purpose/Karmic Obligations? What if you were not meant to find a cure, what if they way it was always meant to be was for you to come to these very questions?


What are the differences between the internal healing and any and all external? And no, I'm not looking for the obvious answers.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I saw an article recently about PTSD and it said people who have gone through the initial bit of what I went through, developing PTSD is a common response.

What most don't realise is that you can get PTSD from Life experiences, not just being in a war zone. Sometimes daily Life can be as much of a war zone, walking through a high street waiting to get mugged can be as stressful as going through a battle zone and waiting for a bullet.

Victim mentality is too strong an expression but it'll have to do. It also comes via PTSD. 'This happened to me, I'm a victim' and everything else comes from that frame of mind. 'I'm a victim so I'm never going to heal' - back top your questions. Yes it's a bit strong but for example.

Deciding you're going to heal or not under your own steam is a different mindset, more accepting and less at odds with yourself and your trauma. And you felt much better emotionally. I don't know what you're going to do with that but there's a 'chain' there.


What I was getting at though is you've defined it as the kind of experience to leave a mark, and your definitions create your reality. It is a mark, an imperfection, something to be rid of..... How else could you define it?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

This is the thing, it is almost 13 years ago, I feel very distant from it, another lifetime ago. My thinking is that one of the symptoms I can live with (as I’ve been living with it for ten years or so). If I have a flare up, usually in response to stress, I know that it will settle down again and I’ve changed my diet accordingly, so I’m at the point I can just let it go.

The other symptom rather ironically I created a little exercise to help me with something else and found that it is having a slightly positive impact, so that’s really great. Also I’ve seen a gadget on the net which is designed to help, it costs £250 but I’m a bit nervous about paying out that much for something which will be a gamble if it helps or not.

So leaving those symptoms aside, for the last few months, another (different) trauma has become more prominent in my mind, because it’s more prominent in my body. This is a psychic injury, one which has never fully resolved, and it’s this that stopped me running.

If you feel distant from it what does that tell you? That a part of you doesn't accept it happened to you, that there's another 'you' that has the symptoms? And 'symptoms'? Is that where your focus is and not the root cause?


What can happen is people become fragmented and for some reason it seems to be more prominent with Spiritual people. They use terms like 'pain body' as though they can detach from what they're experiencing. Or it was a Lifetime ago, yet here it is just the same. And if you're feeling distant from it and you're trying to heal yourself? Can 'you' heal a distant 'you'?



Psychic injuries I'm a little dubious of being honest but it depends on what you mean here. How do you define a psychic injury?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

You mentioned a few posts ago that in the other realms that I was a perfectionist. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time trying to think back to my childhood / early adulthood to see where I picked up this ‘perfectionist’ trait. Maybe I was born with it and it only came out late adulthood. Why would I expect myself to be physically perfect when all around me, people are struggling with their ailments and diseases. It’s not logical. Do you have any insight from other realms as to why I was a perfectionist, how it presented itself? Was it seen by others around me as a good quality, or a bad, or both depending on the task at hand.

"Humans are not logical, therefore it would be illogical to think they could think logically."
Mr Spock

!st Officer, Star Ship Enterprise.


Our genes have more effect on us than we'd think. It's not just the "You've got your dad's nose" but also "Your granny used to do that," and it can happen across so many generations. Behaviour patterns also methylate the genes so they're passed on too. It might be a gene that gave you the trait.



You were always a perfectionist, everything had to be done 'just so' to the point of being bossy. That's where we differed because I was about the opposite, while you had it all nailed down I would fly by the seat of my pants and you nagged me for it. Sometimes I did it just so you would nag me. You were you and that's all there was about it.


What doesn't define us is what we have, what does define us is what we do with it.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve seen that video. However, starting with acidic/alkaline thoughts and how that influences the body is a good starting place.

I have this 'thing' I do, I never take anything at face value and even when people are 'going deeper', if I find another layer I want it gone. There often comes a place where there's a 'bounce-back', that's when it's time to stop.

Thoughts are effects and beneath that layer is the cause, perhaps on top of layer after layer of cause and effect. Thoughts are also not always caused by thoughts, they can be caused by anything that enters our consciousness - and even what is in our subconscious. Like our paradigm, how we feel about ourselves, the effects of our experiences.........

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Maybe but sometimes a few words, a few sentences can have a profound effect and result in a lightbulb moment, like some of the things that Matt said in the early videos of his I watched.

Also, I rely heavily on my brain. Living on my own I have to sort everything from working long hours, managing the finances, mowing the lawn, shopping, housework, DIY, cooking – (never eat processed, ready meals) etc. Also I’m on my Jack Jones. I have no family around me, one close friend who is in the same situation as I am but that’s it.

Did you know that your brain was quantum-capable? I kid you not. An anaesthesiologist called Hamerof has teamed up with a Noble Prize-winning scientist called Penrose, and they're investigating microtubules in the brain. Now, the brain is full of electrical signals which means lots of electromagnetic radiation, and the fascinating thing is that these microtubules is that they're shielded. Because of that they can be quantum entangled with the unified field of probability. "No way, man." "Way."

According to a leading Spanish psychologist your mind isn't what you think it is. The brain processes the information but it comes from various sources inside you - it's more like a committee and your mind is the chairman. Obviously your thoughts but emotions, memory, intuition, past experiences.... All of that comes into play. Naseem Harramein (quite a clever guy) said that it's easier to describe a black hole than it is to describe how someone comes to a decision.


Loneliness isn't much fun neither, and can often feel like a vacuum that will never be filled.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I don’t have any memories of Atlantis it’s just quite a few mediums have told me I have connections to Atlantis but then doesn’t everyone!

There are those that have memories and there are those that connect to the... dream I suppose. I was given a book many years ago that wasn't available in the UK for some reason, and it was sent over from the states. The book was about the Golden Ones, which attracted me straight away. David Bowie knew about the Golden Ones and mentioned them in Oh You Pretty Things. Anyway, the book described a scene - a metal control room with all kinds of buttons, levers and the like. Prominent was a sentient frog who was sitting atop a rollerball and was making very fine adjustments, apparently the frog had very sensitive touch. The woman author had also described herself a little prior to that. Reading that part blew my mind. Not only had I seen exactly what she'd described but I had been in that room when she was being shown around.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

There’s not too much going on in my ‘circuit boards’ except work. Even when I’m at home, I’m thinking about work – the only thing that switches me off from that is listening to Matt.

I’m feeling rather chuffed at the moment as I’ve watched all the videos and have all the notes to go with them. But he’s just released another one in the last few days so I’m going to start on that this morning. He referred to a friend of his, another spiritual teacher, called Kyle Cease, have you heard of him?

You're very focussed on 'real Life', I guess because of your 'brain-centeredness' and whatever else is going on Life's Purpose-ways. That's OK just the same, and we haven't 'lost' you. Yes 'we'.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Gosh retirement for me is something I can only dream of. Going to have to keep working until I’m 67. Mind you, I can’t imagine being alive at 67 let alone working!

Four years for me and the only thing I have on my mind is what's next? I've been told I'm here until I'm 80 so a little way to go yet, but that was my choice.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

The thought of doing that makes me feel really upset because I know what a tough life she’s going to have. Exposed to trauma from the age of 5, and trauma (in various guises) is a re-curring theme.

When you Love that Child Unconditionally and Honour her Path, everything will start to click into place for you. That Child will become you, you will become her.

About two years ago I was going through all manner of weirdness - time slips, being beamed into the body, time dilations, losing time.......



When I was a youngster I wanted a Johnny Seven gun. This thing was way cool because it was literally the Ultimate, it could fire bullets, grenades.... Seven different guns rolled into one. It was my dream for long enough. I remember one day feeling frantic because they weren't on their usual shelf, they had gone and I was gutted. I would stand for hours and just look at it in awe. We could never afford one, and for long enough there was no question about what I wanted for Christmas or birthdays.


I remember one day when I felt a strange presence beside me. Back then I was very psychic/sensitive to these kinds of things. If I ever felt a presence beside me it was almost always that of my father, but this one was very different and because of that I remember feeling very nervous about not knowing



My stepfather had gone to the bingo and this time he'd won enough money to give us anything we wanted, my mother didn't even ask. What she came back with was a cheap spud gun that you could stuck into a potato and fire. They'd stopped making Johnny Seven guns.


Anyway, back to the weirdness. I don't remember exactly what triggered it, being honest there was a lot happening that seemed to not need a trigger. Anyway, the vision I had was standing there watching myself as a kid, looking at the Johnny Seven gun. It felt as though I was there energetically and not just seeing it. If that makes sense. As I watched I saw the kid turn around and look straight at me, he knew I was there.


For all that I've been through in my Life I didn't feel sorry for that kid, I didn't want to warn him or change a damn thing. In that moment I Loved that kid, and that was all there was. That was the only thing I wanted him to know. That was a single, defining, liberating moment.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Do you have a link to a questionnaire on the net?

https://www.learning-mind.com/traits-of-indigo-adults/
Close to all of those go back to your Life in those other realms and your Life's Purpose.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve not had time to even think about looking for the 4 meaning . It’s changed anyway, it was all 2s at the beginning of the week but the numbers in general having been quite intense this last week. I’ve woken at 1.23 and 12.34 and not had this months, in fact had forgotten all about but I woke about 2 in the morning to church bellls (in my head).

Patrycia

You're being brought back there for a reason. Two/three AM or so is sometimes called the witching hour, it has something to do with the brainwaves at that particular time and it's probably a genetic throw-back from caveman days. You'd be surprised at how much prehistoric DNA we have. Church bells ring - resonance, frequency, calling form a 'higher power' if you've gotten past your Christian thing. Perhaps you're back at square one with your healing?

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hello Mr G on a rather dark and thundery Sunday morning,

It'll take as long as it takes, sometimes rushing things only makes it worse. Your attitude towards it is going to make a difference too, whether you're kicking against it or taking it as a big adventure but I guess not knowing your elbow from your backside is part of the fun too.

I’ve made really good progress in the last week, beginning to identify what parts/staff aren’t working as efficiently as they could; that comes from my feeling of things not being as they should be, yet not being there long enough or know the area/staff well enough to know where that’s coming from. But I’m beginning to know now. I’ve also had some feedback from new manager that I’m ‘lightening quick’ which is kind of how I like to work but inefficiencies (said staff/departments/outdated systems) are slowing me down so I think it’s giving him a glimpse of how things could be if we could implemented the changes I’ve made on the other side of the business.

Those are quite strong thoughts, and to have them within the space of half an hour? It might not be so helpful now but it might be worth trying to work out where those thoughts came from, because they're very emotional and they could have come from a victim. There you've pretty much convinced yourself that you're not going to heal any time soon. That wasn't a good place to come from.

I don’t see myself as a victim. I may have done once but not now.

Those thoughts come from the years of trying endless modalities and getting nowhere. I think they’re reasonable thoughts/conclusions to have had.
I say ‘have had’ because I am feeling very differently about the experience recently. The slight improvement on the one symptom is continuing which is fabulous. The other one, I am feeling much better about it and a little idea about it dropped into my mind the last few days, so I’m going to give that a go and see what happens or not.

In fact, I’m pretty much now at a place I can put them aside. Maybe that inner child work I did a time back has helped as well to uncover what it was really about. Time to move forwards.

I think what I am aware of now is the result of years of the same thoughts. I see it like having taken the same roads to work every day for the last 12 years, and now I’m kind of exploring alternative routes which feels a bit weird, unfamiliar roads, don’t know if it’s better to go left or right when I get to this part of the journey – but this is kind of more interesting than going the same way.

I know that the same thoughts over time can create pathways in your brain (or something like that) so I’m now creating new thoughts/patterns about it, and really that has all come from the tools/techniques from Matt.

Just out of curiosity. I'm assuming you've been to a regular doctor or NHS practitioner about it, if so what did they say about it?

I was referred to the hospital by my dentist but of course I couldn’t explain about it being the result of trauma and how I’d got all the information I had (from mediums/homeopaths etc) so had to pretend I didn’t know why it was there. It didn’t go well. They wanted me to undergo invasive tests to rule out something I Knew it wasn’t (my dentist agreed with me). And when I said if it is such and such, as you think, then what’s the treatment? The ‘treatment’ was some pretty aggressive medication and there’s no way I’m putting that poison in my body. I know what it does to the body, it weakens the area and can lead to it becoming worse. So I said no thanks, and went. Mighty empowering that was too!

Psychic injuries I'm a little dubious of being honest but it depends on what you mean here. How do you define a psychic injury?

I have to say, I’m really surprised at that. This forum has plenty of posts from people who have been attacked / have unwanted communication from guides/spirit entities etc. Mine went further than that and caused physical injury. I know beyond a doubt what happened. I went to see a trusted medium at the time for healing as I could barely walk, as she knew I’d been working with a spirit guide for years but he got too close and caused harm (the reason why I keep this new group at arms length). Anyway, the medium was able to heal the root chakra to a certain point but not completely. So I’ve been left with a weakness in my left leg which is worse if I’m tired or stressed. And I severed all contact with said guide. I’ve recently been working with a statement from one of Matt’s radio broadcasts about sending said energy back to its original source with blessings for its journey ahead. And yes, I can feel I can heal from that too, maybe, if it’s meant to be. I’d love to get back to my running.

Our genes have more effect on us than we'd think. It's not just the "You've got your dad's nose" but also "Your granny used to do that," and it can happen across so many generations. Behaviour patterns also methylate the genes so they're passed on too. It might be a gene that gave you the trait

I’m aware of that for sure; miasms and all that.

Loneliness isn't much fun neither, and can often feel like a vacuum that will never be filled.

I live alone (by choice) but I am not lonely, big difference. I was married years ago in my early twenties but after six months realised that married life wasn’t my cup of tea. I made my bid for freedom in early 1989.

It wasn’t an easy time; I’d moved away from my parents and my home town into a place I did not know well, had no family or friends in this new place but the one thing that was working, for the first time in my life, I had a job I loved.

So I used to drive the long journey to work every morning listening to this; which perfectly summed up how I was feeling whilst I started looking for a flat.

I've got leather on my shoes,
And I've got a dream to live,
There is nothing left to lose,
So I'm going,
I've got a suitcase here in my hand,
And I've got a hungry heart,
And I'm going to join the millions,
There before me, on the freedom road;


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m5VGkihhe4

I found a flat, much closer to work, which was to be my sanctuary for the next four years. Money was incredibly tight, I sometimes had to make the choice between feeding myself or the cat that had adopted me. The cat won every time. The flat had no central heating and I had a very understanding landlord who offered all the firewood I wanted for an open fire. So I used to come home in the winter and go straight out into the shed and chop up logs for that evening. I took to living on my own, like a duck to water, loved it, and have never looked back. I know beyond a doubt that I am meant to be on my own.

The other thing I remember clearly from the time I was married, was just how strong my ‘alternative life in the realms was’ – like it was a strength that was keeping me afloat emotionally,

You're very focussed on 'real Life', I guess because of your 'brain-centeredness' and whatever else is going on Life's Purpose-ways. That's OK just the same, and we haven't 'lost' you. Yes 'we'.

I have to be; living alone and taking responsibility for everything. But there have been times, even when doing all that, I’ve been living that alternative life at night. But not for a few years now.

We??

Four years for me and the only thing I have on my mind is what's next? I've been told I'm here until I'm 80 so a little way to go yet, but that was my choice.

Yes, I’ve been told I have a long life ahead. I’ve always been clear about what I would do when I’m retired but I’m not so sure now. I think I would have to keep a very close eye on myself as I think I could be in danger of becoming reclusive. Anyway, I’m sure life will present something and I’ve no need to think about it for another 12 years.

https://www.learning-mind.com/traits-of-indigo-adults/
Close to all of those go back to your Life in those other realms and your Life's Purpose.

Much as I am resisting labels etc, this is something I keep being drawn back to. All of those categories I feel strongly always. I always thought I had a single life purpose, which is one of the reasons I worked with the spirit guide for many years, preparing myself. I think it’s too simplistic to think you have one life purpose. I think there can be many but for me life/people/situations because of my sensitivity, I’ve tried to shield myself as much as possible. So for me actually fully integrating with life / people would be a major achievement and I think, through work, I’m doing OK.

So, what was my life’s purpose in those realms?

You're being brought back there for a reason. Two/three AM or so is sometimes called the witching hour, it has something to do with the brainwaves at that particular time and it's probably a genetic throw-back from caveman days. You'd be surprised at how much prehistoric DNA we have. Church bells ring - resonance, frequency, calling form a 'higher power' if you've gotten past your Christian thing. Perhaps you're back at square one with your healing?

I’ve had this last week, some intense ascension symptoms again. It’s been going on for several weeks but I hadn’t put the dots together, thinking they were just isolated occurrences. I had one day of discomfort in my spine, took me some time to realise it wasn’t back pain/muscles but my spine. And it was in in the same place as where I’d felt the kundalini energy when I’d first experienced my healing energy. It was gone the next day. I’ve had several days of mild anxiety/feeling unsettled followed by a real peacefulness and relaxation in the afternoons and of course the churchbells. There were a couple of instances of low blood sugar, with the urgent need to eat, eat eat. The numbers have been intense, every time I look at the clock, had a new one the other day, woke at 4:32.

Now, interesting think about the ‘christian’ thing. I came across a reference to the Lord’s prayer connecting to the chakras. I found that really quite curious. But yes, I think I am back to square one in terms of my own healing energy. I felt it very subtly a few weeks ago, having forgotten about it. I think the CST has got maybe cleared stuff out to the extent I can connect to it again. And I keep seeing ‘work to do’ in my third eye in relation to it. At least it doesn’t cost anything!



Patrycia