NDE Event

I'll never forget my experience with NDE. I had been in labor with the birth of my son since Sunday and with any first pregnancy, you worry and wonder. I had taken Lamaze classes and felt comfortable with the OB that saw me. I went through the usual horror stories but as time neared and I knew my son would be here soon I became excited. As I said the contractions were steady and continual, I entered the hospital on the third day of labor, exhausted because the pain kept me awake and not able to eat. I was dilated enough to be admitted and, until the 12th hour of intense labor in the hospital felt my son would be here any minute. A swirl of activity hit my room, doctor still in his tuxedo came along with nurses and other staff, I was rushed to surgery and given an epidural. I was wide awake listening to my heart monitor beeping away in my ear, blood pressure doing it's thing. I felt a tug, my son cried and my mom saying Oh how beautiful this and How neat that. Mom brought him to me, laid him in my arms briefly. I saw the little cap they had on his head and kept thinking he looked like a little old man. I smiled and gave my son back to my mom who said she would return after she took him to the nursery. I saw her leave and things changed. I began fading out. I thought perhaps I was given a sedative but no one was around my IV or anywhere near where my head was, all were attending to my C-section unaware I was struggling to breathe. I looked struggling to speak but I saw no one. My eyes fixed on the clock, 11:30 PM. Son was born 11:17 PM. My chest started burning and I closed my eyes. I felt myself light and like the air. I felt weightless and while I heard and saw nothing, I felt everything. The first experience was that I felt complete darkness. It was as if I was where I was, like I was the dark or the light. I felt the prayers, millions like waves of deep emotion filled me from everywhere, I felt the sorrowful moaning and crying pleas and as I passed through this darkness I actually felt the lonely intense feeling of wanting out, to leave this place intensifying as I passed. It wasn't from me and before I could ask or even form the question I received my answer, these were those that have met their reward for what they have done. I accepted this answer because I knew I didn't belong here. I slowly felt myself becoming brighter and lighter until my wholeness felt as white no mere words can describe it. I felt peace and tranquility, I felt the love, and, I felt strongly that, this wasn't my place either. I felt a great surge of desire to go back. No words were ever spoken, it was all feeling, knowing and then doing. When I returned, I did so with a forceful thud on the table, I felt fire coursing through my veins and I felt my chest being fed oxygen. I hovered between there and here until finally it faded away. The anesthesiologist bent over me: Welcome back, we thought we'd lost you. I couldn't speak, I had a tube down my throat. I asked my mom after I came home what happened to me after she left and came back. She said she returned as instructed after she dropped off my son only to see very briefly one white coat administering heart massage and others attempting to get me back. She was told to get out but not before she saw I had flat lined. When I came back, I remember the clock reading 11:45 PM. Here's something many don't report. When I resumed my life, I realize I had a gift of hands on healing for a time. I could generate a healing warmth to whomever I hovered (not touched) my hands over so much so the area got quite hot but not so intense that it was uncomfortable. I actually had a friend whose arm was broken from an accident and she was atheist and didn't believe in healing call me for me to apply this gift. It left after about 2 years. I also had this uncanny ability predict danger because I brought back the intense oneness I had felt during my NDE.

[Xan]

Good story, Rhodes. Thank you.

Many nde'ers do bring some healing or psychic abilities back with them.

Also... the oneness can still be experienced here in this world. Silent meditation is the way.


Xan

Originally Posted by Xan

Good story, Rhodes. Thank you.

Many nde'ers do bring some healing or psychic abilities back with them.

Also... the oneness can still be experienced here in this world. Silent meditation is the way.


Xan

That is why I'm here. I lost my way in my experiences because I grew more impatient and of course, became extremely busy living life. I think we never quite lose the experience. In 25 years since it's happened, I still remember it. If it was a hallucination as many point out, I would have forgotten it entirely as the experience is replaced with others. It hasn't, and, I can still see much of it as clearly (obviously because I retold the experience) as if it had happened yesterday.

[Xan]

Yes... that's one of the signs of a real near death experience.


Xan

Originally Posted by Xan

Yes... that's one of the signs of a real near death experience.


Xan

The hearing and the not, the inability to use common English or words to express what is felt is nearly impossible. It's not easy to explain in mere words what is experienced efficiently enough to share that experience. I've had trouble with this since it happened and the only ones that have gotten it are those who've experienced it themselves. I wrote poetry about it, articles about it and nothing does it justice.

[Xan]

I know what you mean, Rhodes... not from nde specifically, but other subtle spiritual experiences that simply can't be described or defined.


Xan

My NDE happened when I was eight, after a closed head injury as a result from a car accident. I had a grand-mal seizure and was in a coma for one week.

I was looking down on myself hooked up to machines and felt something strong like a man yet gentle like a woman grab my right hand and turn me around. It was a glowing Being of Light and let me know, telepathically, that everything was going to be fine. I felt safe yet a little unsure of what was going on.

We were surrounded by darkness and I could see a tiny spot of light. In an instant we were in an area of the most loving, amazing light. Behind me stood my Being and to my left were two more standing side by side. To their right was another one and in front of me was a large table with a huge book on it.

A man appeared...I knew it was a man because of his facial features and dark hair...the Beings had none. He walked to the book and flipped through it. He turned to me and asked if I wanted to stay or go back and at that moment an image of my mother and baby sister flashed in my mind.

My eyes flew open and I was staring at the green tile in the hospital, screaming. A bunch of people came rushing into the room and the next thing I remembered was a woman standing next to my bed. She was talking to me and from my expression asked if I knew who she was. I said no and she told me she was my mother. I had no comprehension of that word. Her and I would never bond. Actually, I'm pretty detached from most people.

My memory from that age back was gone, I couldn't remember my mother even being pregnant with my sister. Family members were hugging me and crying and I was so freaked out as I didn't know who they were. Kids my age were coming over and I just stared at them. I did not tell anyone of the experience as I was so young and didn't know what it was. I was fourteen before I told my mother and she cried and cried, begging me to keep telling her.

Now, I did not grow up in a religious home at all so am not sure how someone's beliefs shape their NDE. I did try going to church with a friend in high school and had a severe negative reaction to it. Because of this I spent many, many years denying what happened to me. For if I didn't believe in God how could I embrace the NDE?

During this time I felt my Being of Light was always with me, guiding me gently and I did listen most of the time. I learned many lessons, my strength in myself and as an Empath grew. Yet this struggle with God continued. It wasn't until very recently that it came to me...I do believe in God, I don't believe in organized fear-based religion.

Many months ago I was in bed and kept feeling like I was one of those Beings and laughed at the thought. Why would I be here if I was? Then it came to me, I am here to learn all I can about human behavior and to offer guidance to those that seek it. Not all guides are in spirit form. I do not tell people about what happened to me as I feel it's very private and that most would think I was crazy anyway!

My life has been extraordinary...no one would believe the things that have happened and I am so grateful that I was able to experience this and have been blessed. There are many more things I can say but I'm afraid if I keep writing this page will time out and everything will be gone...thank you for reading this.

[Xan]

What an interesting nde and life story, Jo.

I would like to tell you that you Are of of those Beings, as are we all... cleverly disguised as ordinary and extraordinary humans. Spiritual awakening is about discovering and accepting what we really are behind the mask.


Xan

Thank you, Xan.

People say we're nuts or are hallucinating; they judge that which they have never experienced or have never seen in their own lives. When we come back, we are the fortunate ones because we bring back a gift of knowing the truth. It doesn't matter if others don't embrace our experiences, it matters only that we do and accept our brush with the Divine whatever we choose to call it.