24 years old and never been in a relationship

[light-seer]

I hope I'm posting this thread in the right place, and I know there's already a similar thread. I just feel bad that I'm 24 years old and haven't found the kind of woman/soulmate I'm looking for.

It feels so lonely when you're single.

[FallingLeaves]

i've amused myself with limerence it seems but that is coming to an end I guess.

even if I could find someone who would not reject me outright I'd just sit around forever waiting to be rejected because it always happens sooner or later. So i wouldn't be able to relate anyway waiting for the other shoe to drop.

and even if I could get past *that* there is still no hope of having a meaningful relationship in a way that makes personal sense to me.

I just wanna cry any more.

My husband was 39 years old before he had his first girlfriend, which is me.

Sure it does feel lonely at times. Look at it this way, now is a good time to discover more about you, so that when you do meet someone that you would like to call your own, you will have much more to offer them. A confident, self sufficient person who doesn't need someone to full fill a void in their life, but someone to share life with on level most don't experience.

[Dargor]

I must say it does feel quite lonely alright. Even if I have quite some friends, I almost feel like I'm Jesus with his male apostles. And obviously I am not Jesus, so a woman added to my life would be nice.

[rosiegirl]

I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship, which is hard since I'm a Libra. What I tell myself is that at least I'm waiting instead of getting into relationships that only last for a short while. That way, when the right guy comes, I'll know. They're not magic words that make me feel completely better, unfortunately, but they do give me a little comfort when I need it.

[PlatitudePluto]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 32 and still a virgin. Also I suffer from limerence as well.

Originally Posted by rosiegirl

I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship, which is hard since I'm a Libra. What I tell myself is that at least I'm waiting instead of getting into relationships that only last for a short while. That way, when the right guy comes, I'll know. They're not magic words that make me feel completely better, unfortunately, but they do give me a little comfort when I need it.

The problem with this is that your expectations of "the right guy" start to solidify. It becomes less easy to make compromises because you haven't had a chance, through dating, to work out what the necessary adaptations might be.

I've learned that it's quite easy for fall for someone on the basis of a few dates because people tend to be on their best behaviour. You don't get to see (or become part of) their nastier habits; their long-term expectations of you.

However, as Gracey says, you develop a greater self-sufficiency and things can work out if you do happen to land on "the right person". It can happen and hopefully it will.

....

[Baile]

I understand we all need life experiences in order to then know what we want or don't want... Still, my honest advice would be to avoid commitment relationships until your 30s and even 40s. Most human beings simply don't have the self-understanding, self-reliance and emotional maturity until then.

Join a dating site and have several friends. Get to see that people are different. Learn what it is in people that you prefer, and what it is you are looking for. Don't get stuck thinking love will save you. Because it's understanding and acceptance that fuels healthy relationships. Love is the byproduct of that acceptance. And if you can't accept the person, faults and all, you will never love them.

[Glacier Serenade]

I am 21 and have been single all my life too but there are several factors for this as I have social anxiety and although fear of rejection isn't coming in to play so much I do feel that I can't fully be myself with anyone as I really am different to most people and I don't want to go through the hope of getting with someone and then losing them and it'd be my fault. So dating etc. is really an area of my life I like to stay away from, and I'm an introvert too with quoiromantic/limerance tendencies; there was a girl I knew online last year that I had these feelings for and my mind kinda made up these "signs" that she had feelings for me (note that this was weeks after a very depressed period of my life as I have a lot to deal with and felt like I had a hopeless future etc.) and when her friends worked out that my interactions showed a little affection she wanted to know what was up so I told her and she said about distances etc. so it ended there, but as the definition of limerance shows, I still had obsessive thoughts about her and even after months down the line it ended up being just an obsession without the whole feelings thing. As an empath I found it very difficult what to do as we had become close friends but as we both feel awkward starting convos we didn't talk for months one to one and then it kinda made it easier to get her off my mind when she made a sarcastic remark about something controversial I believed in upon which I decided that it was for the best as we weren't really friends anyway and in a way it made circumstances easier as she would agree we weren't to be friends either, although I still feel a bit sad that it didn't go differently, and if it wasn't for limerance we could've been great friends, although I don't think it's a good idea to be friends with someone who can hold grudges or even with someone who is messy like me.

I've recently decided, along with my spiritual path, to put relationships to the side as I don't want girlfriends but rather just find my twin flame who will love me unconditionally, but that kind of person are very rare in my experience so basically I'll just carry on and not care tbh :')

[light-seer]

Thank you all so much for your helpful advice.