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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 13-07-2018, 09:37 PM
Beautywithin Beautywithin is offline
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Join Date: May 2017
Location: UK
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should i ?

it's been 14months since i last saw or spoke to my TF, i thought i was doing ok over last few weeks, still think of him every day, but was not getting upset or crying when i thought of him, until 3 days ago i had another dream about him and since then have cried and cried he is back on my mind constantly once again...

I really feel the need to email him just to see how he is doing, we did say we would stay in touch but i did not want to keep pestering him it was still so raw so i though it best not message at all ( even though every day i wanted to ) before ya no it 14 months of no contact has passed i thought i would seriously be ok now and thought not having to see him every ( we used to work together ) would have helped, but it hasnt


So do i email him? i am not trying to rekindle what we had, i just want to know he is ok and happy, he may not even reply but willing to chance it.

or do i take it he is ok as ive not heard from him for so long.
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  #2  
Old 13-07-2018, 10:03 PM
happyhaunts03 happyhaunts03 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 279
 
I don't think you should...or at least, I wouldn't. You know in your heart how your TF is doing. But then, I'm a big believer that there's a good reason my TF and I aren't in contact right now and that when the time is right, we won't have to question whether we should be contacting each other or not.
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  #3  
Old 14-07-2018, 09:31 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,081
 
Suggest that you make sure you're "moving on" first and then just keep in touch if you can keep it light and casual. As things are for you right now you might just exacerbate your sorrow.

I sometimes think so much of this pain is self-inflicted. People force themselves to believe there can be no other person in their lives than this particular guy so they set out to prove it, they close themselves to the great richness of relationships that are all different.

Chapter 8 of Cozalino's "The Neuroscience of Human Relationships" is about "Addicted to Love" where he gives evidence to show that similar chemistry is at work akin to any addiction. He says "Love and addiction share a loss of reason, an absence of self-control and an obsessive longing that must be satisfied." Further along in the chapter he suggests that a similar therapy as that applied to drug addiction may be the answer. Only a suggestion and I don't know how practical or "true" it is but it may be a way of looking at it.

I don't think that going out and looking for a new bloke is the answer as still immersed in sorrowful reflection it could result on taking someone up on the rebound, acting like a medicine: used until you cure yourself then you no longer have need of the medicine - in this case potentially discarding the person who has supported your cure. On the other hand the person could be the start of something far more sound and longer lasting.

Anyway, it's really up to you to decide. Can you email "lightly" enough not to stir an emotional hornet's nest? If he doesn't reply will that increase your anxiety? If he does, are you unwittingly reopening wounds? What if he is happy? Would that help you move on or bring even more sorrow?
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  #4  
Old 14-07-2018, 09:57 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Have you thought of the partial Solar eclipse from the 13th (12th in the USA)? It's impact likely caused this to happen. Sun in Cancer, dragging up lots of emotions and so on. Read about it online.
Now we are in the build-up towards the Lion's Gate, which opens on the 25th and remains open for 2 whole weeks! Lots and lots of high incoming energies.
During this Lion's Gate we have a Lunar Eclipse on the 27th, more high incoming energies.
Then directly after the Lion's Gate closes -which is on the 8th August- we have another Solar eclipse, one far more powerful than yesterday's.

Should you contact him? No. You should take into account what's happening energetically now and realize this is likely why this is now coming up again after 14 months. And best buckle up for safety cos this is only the beginning. THing typically don't get rough until the Lion's Gate opens.
This is just the prelude.
Not that there's anything to fear, it's all just about growth, letting go of things that don't serve you anymore (like this connection i suppose, that could be why it comes up so you deal with it) and opportunities for growth.
But often July and August are very intense because of this. And this year we get a few solar and lunar eclipses thrown in on top of that... Wowza!
If you want more info on it, I got a free pick a card reading on the Lion's Gate and how it will affect you
https://youtu.be/r1MjIs7PvqQ

Good luck
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  #5  
Old 14-07-2018, 02:14 PM
ssdm1 ssdm1 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 660
 
Sounds like you ended on good terms. I would send him a friendly "thinking of you' text or email, just to check in.

I stopped contacting mine and decades went by with no contact. Then 2 years ago we got in touch again and it's been great. We missed so much in each others lives by one or the other holding back on contact and we won't get that missed time back.

So go ahead, contact him!!
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  #6  
Old 14-07-2018, 07:53 PM
Aldous Aldous is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 506
 
Email him and see what he's up to.
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  #7  
Old 14-07-2018, 08:35 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ssdm1
Sounds like you ended on good terms. I would send him a friendly "thinking of you' text or email, just to check in.

I stopped contacting mine and decades went by with no contact. Then 2 years ago we got in touch again and it's been great. We missed so much in each others lives by one or the other holding back on contact and we won't get that missed time back.

So go ahead, contact him!!
If I may add to that... although in hindsight you may feel you missed so much, this break likely helped you both to really let go over time and really move on with your lives separately and to let go of hope and expectation.
Would you have been able to do that at that time when staying in touch? (Just wondering, not trying to be a wise-@$$)
The OP is now crying again and thinking of him all the time again. Likely way too soon to be able to maintain a friendship connection the way you and your TF are able to.
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  #8  
Old 15-07-2018, 12:34 AM
Sevenofthrees Sevenofthrees is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Should I or shouldn't I? Where does the should I consciousness come from? What do you feel is the right action in your heart? And then see what return you get. The fantasies one can create will be much different in practical reality. Twin flames or certain intense relationships for a spiritual person can become a reality check.
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  #9  
Old 16-07-2018, 12:38 PM
Seenthelight Seenthelight is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 246
 
The temptation can be so very strong. I can only relate my own experience where I have given in and contacted him, and felt awful afterwards. You send a message, then wait for the reply - what if that response never happens? Until it does happen, you are waiting - and then hating yourself for caving in.

My suggestion is to say to yourself 'I won't contact him today, I will see how I feel tomorrow'.

Then do the same tomorrow, and the next (one day at a time). It will pass, but it won't be easy.
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  #10  
Old 17-07-2018, 01:27 AM
soulforce soulforce is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 282
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautywithin
it's been 14months since i last saw or spoke to my TF, i thought i was doing ok over last few weeks, still think of him every day, but was not getting upset or crying when i thought of him, until 3 days ago i had another dream about him and since then have cried and cried he is back on my mind constantly once again...

I really feel the need to email him just to see how he is doing, we did say we would stay in touch but i did not want to keep pestering him it was still so raw so i though it best not message at all ( even though every day i wanted to ) before ya no it 14 months of no contact has passed i thought i would seriously be ok now and thought not having to see him every ( we used to work together ) would have helped, but it hasnt


So do i email him? i am not trying to rekindle what we had, i just want to know he is ok and happy, he may not even reply but willing to chance it.

or do i take it he is ok as ive not heard from him for so long.

I say trust your gut. It's your higher self talking to you and she knows your situation better than any of us do. If your feeling like you might be ready to reopen communication with your TF then I say, do it. You have nothing to lose by sending an email, because there's nothing to gain if you don't. It's all a matter of perspective. However when it comes to talking to your twin. There is no end game. So don't place pressure on yourself to make things work out. Whatever will be will be, and whatever comes out of this email is good.

What that said, I agree with Lorelyen. Open yourself up to other potential partners. TF relationships are not what matters. What matters are the people that come into our lives that help us in our growth. This is why most healthy and rewarding relationships are based on Soulmates not Twin Flames.

The so called TF union is not really a union, it's a reunion for completing the soul journey. In order for that reunion to happen you must allow yourself to grow in spiritual wealth. That's the only way that this reunion can occur.

Open yourself up to your Soulmates let them help you expand and become a better version of yourself. If you do this you will get that much closer to your Twin, your other self. Until you let happiness in, you will be in pain for the rest of your life and destined to pass on the same pain in your next lifetime. You don't need that. Hence be the change that you want to see. Let the light in. You can do it!

P.S. email your twin if your feeling like you need to. Just do it without any expectations.
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