Finding the ability to forgive

[django]

I went to a church service yesterday (it happened to be Anglican), I haven't been in a long time, and there was a lot of emphasis on forgiving others and some talk of loving thy neighbour.

Because someone else was steering the theme, and not me just pursuing my own interests, I was able to examine where I fell short in this Christian ideal, I listed the people I hadn't forgiven, and I acknowledged to myself that I was incapable of forgiving these people.

But at the same time Christianity says that the Holy Spirit can help me do what I cannot do. Thus I can give over to this promise of the Holy Spirit, to overcome my ego, my lack of forgiveness, my sin, which I cannot overcome myself. I cannot, but the Holy Spirit can.

I'm not saying I've managed it yet, but it does sound like a productive path to me.

[django]

Jesus tells us that if we do not forgive the sins of others, our heavenly Father will not forgive us. And which of us can say that he or she has not sinned? That then is the deal. And there is no better deal. Unless we forgive, we shall not be forgiven. And however difficult it may be for us to forgive the wrongs that may be done to us, the deal Jesus announces is good news for us, because every one of us will benefit, and without it not one of us can really hope.

Forgiveness is often not easy, but for the Spirit. When we look at how our world has rebelled against God, we have to wonder that such a great mass of sin can be forgiven. And yet nothing is impossible for the Spirit who offers forgiveness to all. If the Spirit can forgive all this, then surely he can give us the power to forgive when we find it difficult or even impossible. Because if it sometimes feels that we don’t have the natural power to forgive, the power to forgive is entirely natural to the Spirit. And when the Spirit comes to dwell in our hearts, what is natural to him becomes second nature to us.

https://www.english.op.org/torch/hop...he-holy-spirit

..........

The best way I understand forgiveness in myself is:

Seeing how God has forgiven me. ( Even though it was undeserved by me )

To understand the offense was committed out of fear and the person/persons did not understand the Love of God.

And many times we need to forgive ourselves also.(In some instances we can see our mistakes in being vulnerable)

God/Christ/Holy Spirit is faithful and will bring about forgiveness to those that are willing to find it. It is your right as a SON.

In the increasing Love of God all things become clearer.

Just a few things from my limited experiences.

[vijay mehra]

For Giving to yourself, the best gift is FORGIVE.

[Native spirit]

In my opinion forgiving is the easy part forgetting is the hardest some things can not be forgiven because of that


Namaste

[7luminaries]

Django...I think forgiveness and generosity of heart is a focus right now in the universe, and it is equally bound up with healing and acceptance for oneself. Your reflections have to do with how it is touching you. I think the key is to reflect on those moments of insight and allow them into our hearts more fully...to stay with them and let them carry us a bit further down the river.

You have reflected and acknowledged that you've not forgiven some & have not yet found a way to do so. That is humble and honest. But then there are those cases where we don't even realise we've limited or burdened others. Where we don't even realise we need to forgive or let go. Where we've perhaps given up on someone and limited their ability to make amends or grow in our eyes..or even in their own eyes or the eyes of others...due to fixing our perspective on them and being unable or unwilling to see them differently or to allow for growth.

I want to share more on that. Because forgiveness is such a deep well to plumb. I may have done a bit more fixing of my perspective with my father than I intended, simply to minimise expectations right down to the nub. That may have been functional for most of my life because to have held expectations would have been disappointing. But now perhaps it's alright to open up a bit more to his oddities and a fuller acceptance of his weird nutter politics of late (which we have all been struggling with a bit), and see him more fully for who he is. To allow him that space to continue to grow and stretch and be unfinished. Although I'd not ever expected anything from him at all over the years, I'd always kept in touch and visited occasionally and that seemed to be enough for him.

However, I suppose a part of me had sometimes resented having to make the effort all these years for his distant to barely civil ways, which did warm up a bit when he was ill and cranky for several years. I also resented having to carry all his resentment for having to marry (I was the oldest), which he repeated told me as a child was due to mum falling pregnant with me .

I could never draw close or trust him because he would repeatedly tell me he didn't love us, he was pressured into it, it was a mistake, it was my fault, etc. He screamed at me daily as I got older, for half an hour, an hour at a time, saying many cruel things. I long since forgave him for all his cruelty, his mocking, his coldness and his resentment, and in some ways I respected him for sticking it out with mum for many years. However in many others he fell short in my eyes all my life, even as a child.

In acknowledging that I did resent him for these things and for having to maintain a relationship (LOL), I was able to let them go more fully over these past several years and forgive him more freely....particularly just recently...and allow him to be who he is. It is a setting down of the burden of resentment toward him. Just as I set down the burden of being resented by him so long ago. And whilst it is something you extend in your heart toward another, it equally is a kindness and a love that you show yourself.

Maybe he'll grow a bit more or maybe not, as he will. But at least for my part, he's got a bit more room to stand tall in our interactions. And this too, as I see it, is all a part of forgiveness. It is the work of a lifetime, so don't give up just yet...just realise that your reflections on forgiveness are the first steps toward healing the heart, such that it can one day take the next step and the next. To come into forgivness more deeply over time.

Peace & blessings
7L

[sky]

Originally Posted by django

I went to a church service yesterday (it happened to be Anglican), I haven't been in a long time, and there was a lot of emphasis on forgiving others and some talk of loving thy neighbour.

Because someone else was steering the theme, and not me just pursuing my own interests, I was able to examine where I fell short in this Christian ideal, I listed the people I hadn't forgiven, and I acknowledged to myself that I was incapable of forgiving these people.

But at the same time Christianity says that the Holy Spirit can help me do what I cannot do. Thus I can give over to this promise of the Holy Spirit, to overcome my ego, my lack of forgiveness, my sin, which I cannot overcome myself. I cannot, but the Holy Spirit can.

I'm not saying I've managed it yet, but it does sound like a productive path to me.

How can the holy spirit help?

When we can't forgive someone it's because we judge them, if you stop judging forgivness comes naturally....

[Honza]

Originally Posted by sky123

How can the holy spirit help?

When we can't forgive someone it's because we judge them, if you stop judging forgivness comes naturally....

That is sort of an atheist way of looking at it. To a Christian people have a heart and a soul too. They are not just a mind which can switch judgement off and on like it is a button. Some judgement can go very deep into the heart and soul where it is out of reach of the mind. This is where God's love, grace and spirit can help us forgive. Not just mentally but deep down within.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Honza

That is sort of an atheist way of looking at it. To a Christian people have a heart and a soul too. They are not just a mind which can switch judgement off and on like it is a button. Some judgement can go very deep into the heart and soul where it is out of reach of the mind. This is where God's love, grace and spirit can help us forgive. Not just mentally but deep down within.

It's very easy to switch judgment off actually, mybe not for you though....
It's very Christian to stop judging btw, not Atheist at all but I do know Atheists who do not judge also....


So can you explain how the holy spirit helps? Or will you pass on that and write your book

[sky]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

In my opinion forgiving is the easy part forgetting is the hardest some things can not be forgiven because of that


Namaste

Yes I agree with you.