I need some advice... This hurts.

M.Tesla · #1 18-06-2019, 06:36 AM

I realized something tonight. I need to stand up for my happiness. I cannot keep holding on to this woman that has messed up my life for 11 years. It makes me all teary eyed, but its because I made the decision to let her go and I actually feel like I am and I dont know how to handle this emotions amd move past it. It hurts me to choose to let her go. Feels like I'm both betraying hwr and myself, because I'm forcing myself to miss out on the opportunity by choosing to move on for good.

I dont know what to do, i never wanted to let her go but this is causing me too much stress and angst

Flameseeker · #2 18-06-2019, 06:39 AM

And the irony, is that it’s only once you truly let go that she can return

Ciona · #3 18-06-2019, 06:44 AM

Owning, embracing and accepting your feelings is the first step to peace.

Life is about change. Let her come and go. Don't try to control it. You will find peace.

It just takes time. It's okay.

Ciona · #4 18-06-2019, 06:54 AM

And let yourself, learn to come and go again. Give yourself permission, to do that. The world won't end, in fact your heart center will open further and it will actually put you closer in touch with where she is, in the now. Flameseeker is right, the odds of seeing the person after doing so actually go up.

It's like the tide...it comes in, it goes out. Life is not static. Soul connections can be very traumatizing and we get locked in time in our heads and our hearts because of them. But learn to let it flow again, and you will come back into the now and feel better. You are giving both her and yourself the freedom to be yourselves. You will them be able to receive the tide again, that's how it works cosmically and also in a 3D context as Flameseeker is saying.

And by giving her and you the freedom...it's not about agreeing with everything she ever did. It's about standing up for your own happiness, like you said. Acknowledging how you feel and accepting what is, even if you don't agree with it. Perfectly okay to do...and understanding that life is change...and allowing for that reality...

FairyCrystal · #5 18-06-2019, 09:14 AM

A good start would be to shift your perspective.
No one can mess up your life, if someone deliberately tries to do that, you allow it. But in most cases someone doesn't do this, we do it ourselves by latching on to someone or something that's long gone, then blame the other for our misery.
Shift out of that mindset: YOU allowed this to go on for so long. You had a choice to change it all along.
Now that not to start blaming yourself, but simply to shift out of the blame game. By doing that you give your power away you see. We blame and make ourselves victims because we daren't take responsibility for what's going on.

Another mindshift: you're not forcing yourself out of a beautiful opportunity. Your (finally) going to move away from a situation that doesn't serve you. It's not beautiful at all, you're holding on to something that isn't real and to dreaming of what could have been/could be but will never be.
That's why you feel your life is ruined. You've been living some future hope as opposed to living in the now. You have no power in imaginings nor in the future.

Best to do is focus on other things, ifever you still have these. Dreams (not about her), goals in life. Can be anything from sports, making music, sculpting, career related etc.
Start hanging out with people. If you don't have a social circle (anymore) get working on that.

The only thing that works is to focus on something else. Away from that person, on something that does serve you and make you happy.

M.Tesla · #6 18-06-2019, 06:10 PM

Thanks for all the replies. Good advice. I think i got over the initial fear and moved past it. It didnt help that I was running off 3 hours of sleep for 48 hours. Anyway, you are all awesome, thanks.

dawn infinity · #7 28-06-2019, 03:39 AM

I agree with what everyone has said , don't worry everything will be just fine remember u have to make yourself happy can't no one. make u happy but yourself. , think about what makes u happy instead of a relationship , i always try &think about the little things in life try &be thankful for what i hav now. remember u are a very valued person. one day u will find that special someone in the meaning time don't worry if u made the right decision. remember u can only make urself happy shine like the star that u are.