Narcissistic Ex Resurfaces 10 Years Later

[Lucky]

I left a toxic relationship with a narcissist 10 years ago. We dated all throughout my 20’s. It was a classic empath-narcissist connection, hot and heavy, and when it was good it was really good, when it was bad it was really bad. This guy took advantage of my kindness big time. He lied, cheated and stole and when confronted, he of course denied everything and told me I was crazy. But boy, was he a charmer. We have major history together...8+ years, we even bought a house together (which we lost). Ultimately, I got up the strength to leave and moved in with family. I unpacked my boxes and started a new job the very next day and never looked back. I finally got to be myself, get to know myself, I was alone and honestly I loved it. I dated a lot after leaving him, trying to make up for lost time I guess, but also to explore what I liked and didn’t like in men. In less than two years, I met my husband and the rest is history.

Fast forward, (10 years later) to the recent Scorpio Supermoon while everyone is on lockdown...my ex resurfaces (a Scorpio) and sends me a message. My stomach instantly dropped. He seemed to be just checking in and made casual conversation. I engaged, but kept it light. People can change I suppose and I’m well past the point of anger and resentment towards him.

The truth is though, over the past 10 years I continue to have sequential dreams about him that feel very real. We are always remodeling a part of our old house together, and he is nothing like who he was in real life...in these dreams we are in love and happy and he is a nice guy. These very frequent dreams have had me scratching my head for years, as they seem to progress as if we are existing together in some alternate reality. I don’t even think of him during waking hours. I’m too busy with my current real life, so these “dreams” seem to come out of nowhere.

I took this opportunity of him reaching out to me the other day to ask him directly, do you have dreams of me? And he quickly replied “yes, all the time, and always at our old house, and I never dream of any other ex..only you”. He even said he sometimes feels my presence while he is alone in nature. He of course went on to confess his undying love, how he will always love me, misses me and would do anything for me, and how I was the best and he’ll say that til the day he dies. Classic.

Needless to say, that night he appeared in my dream. This time, we were shopping in a home improvement store and he told me to pick out wallpaper for a room he was remodeling for me. The wallpaper I picked had a blue sky with white fluffy clouds in a pattern. We left the store and in the parking lot, he looked at me intensely and picked me up by my arms and swung me around in a circle, like you’d do with a toddler. I felt it vividly and thought how cool it was that spinning didn’t make me dizzy (a tiny bit lucid for a moment). We had our dog with us (which is now my dog) and noticed all four of his paws were bleeding and bandaged around the ankles. Weird. I woke up from this dream and felt a tugging at my heart, physically. These are the same brief, subtle pains I got in my heart months ago after I went to a psychic healer who, without my mention, asked who my ex was and she said he is still in my field..she guided me through a cord cutting and I had these pains. They’ve since gone away but came back the night I had this dream.

I suppose what I’m asking for input on is if it’s possible we are actually dreaming together, or if we exist together in some alternate reality or dimension where there is a different outcome, other than what actually transpired in this reality? At first, I’d say these dreams were simply my subconscious trying to process the past and what was a very traumatic time for me, but these dreams are VIVID...and turns out, he’s dreaming of me too.

Thoughts?

[Lynn]

Hello

Reading that all that I kept hearing was run and run fast run as far as you can from this one wanting back into your life and space.

The cords are frayed but not cut that is why he can come back in at will. You need to put that nail in the coffin to cut the ties with this one. Like I had to with my Ex, while I admit I would prefer him dead, that is in the hands of the Universe I was able to cut all the ties to him.

I tried to cut the cords and he would find a path back, to bump into me or to get in touch with our eldest Son and make a promise he would never keep. That hold on us stayed. Til I finally cut the ties that bind. I put a nail in his coffin, not in him being dead but in him being dead to being able to contact me ever again.

Simple a piece of wood and a nail I hammered into it saying that this cut all the ties to me he had over me. That it was the final nail in his coffin.

Lynn

[Lucky]

Thanks Lynn, I will certainly try that nail in a piece of wood and set the intention. I swore I did something similar a few months ago when I was cleaning out old memorabilia and shredded his cards, letters and pictures. It makes sense to me what you said..the cord is frayed but not cut completely, and so he can find his way back when he wants to.

I’ve had plenty of time for deep introspection over the past 10 years and honestly I still struggle with why I let that toxic relationship go on for so long to begin with. There is a root cause somewhere, a void of sorts that he filled at the time as sick and twisted as that sounds. While I believe I got over him, I feel that deeper root cause remains...something from my childhood maybe. I truly feel until I can access that root cause, wrap my head around it and heal it, this ex may continue to surface simply as that trigger to get me to go to those deeper parts of myself.

What’s eerie about this is that he reached out the night of the full moon...I looked up the meaning of this Scorpio full moon and found this:
“What makes this full moon, Super Flower Moon in Scorpio that much more interesting is*the fact that its celestial ruler,*Pluto, will already be retrograde, which only intensifies the energy of this lunation. Full moons bring things to light; they're a symbol of spiritual completion. Potent and celebratory, the full moon typically comes with a powerful culmination, and in Scorpio, your grand finale so to speak, will revolve around Plutonian themes of power and transformation.*
Think back to the*new moon in Scorpio in October 2019. What has come to fruition since? Another way to get more clarity on the effects of this lunation is by checking where Scorpio is located on your birth chart. The*astrological house*where it resided can help determine the overall theme of this cycle for you. Next, check where Capricorn is located, as this is where both Pluto (Scorpio's ruler) and Jupiter are transiting through alongside one another.”

As this states, to think back to what happened October 2019...that’s when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Also the astrological house Scorpio resides in my chart is the fourth house.

I feel a sense of urgency to have some major breakthrough due to this event. I’m so darn close but I need a push.

What is unresolved,is being brought to the surface.

Remnants from the subconscious.

We are in a time where it's being called forth,to be true to our selves and authenticity.

Remnants,unfinished business.

Final clearing,resolution.

[Native spirit]

I would have to agree with Lynn. ask Arc Angel Michael to cut the cords of negativity between you, he is trouble


Namaste

[Pequena Estrela]

I can't believe this - this is exactly what I'm going through at the moment!!!

The only difference is that I also get a lot of chase dreams about this guy who is not an ex but someone who tried to force me into a relationship, though in these chase dreams he never wants to harm me but he is obsessed with getting me, having me, owning me, keeping me all for himself. In the most recent dream about him though he confessed his love for me and I fell in love with him, and we were like any young couple in love. I've written about it under "Dreams" and "Lucid Dreams"!

Yup, same thing, I discovered that he was a narcissist so I severed all contact, and I feel violated to this day about his attempts to force a relationship on me.

In the dreams I can feel his touch, even smell him - I have at times woken up still feeling his touch, though when this happened I was still recoiling as I was waking up because his touch was without consent.

I've been having these chase dreams about him for some time and they are getting more frequent. In each such dream, he is chasing me, I am in a wild panic and running, always running, but either not getting away because he has manipulated everyone to prevent me from escaping and so people hold me until he can catch up, or other circumstances prevent me from getting through (such as floods). Occasionally I manage to escape - only to immediately be in the next chase, always running from him!

Only in the most recent dream was this somewhat different - I refused to run away and stood my ground, so he confessed his love and he hugged me, and I fell in love with him and we were ever so happy, always hugging each other!

It's been some time since I was in contact with him and I know he is a narcissist, I am an empath so obviously I was disgusted by his constant lying and his manipulation - so why is he in my dreams almost every night?

Interesting that the recent dream, where he was holding me in his arms, occurred during full moon - I also thought there must be some connection!

He hasn't turned up again in real life though, and I don't think he will.

I believe that such manipulative people do something in the spirit realm to appear in our dreams, which is especially clear since these we are having these dreams so frequently. I also had the feeling that this person that is haunting me through my dreams, most likely has identical dreams. And the dreams are way too real to be mere dreams - I am convinced that this guy is actually meeting me in the spirit realm, either chasing me, wanting to own me, touching me (in a non-sexual way but without consent), and now trying to overwhelm me with hugs and intense physical contact.

I have never gone through this with anyone else that I once had strong feelings for but who turned out to be abusive or manipulative (same really) so I know there is something going on here!

I keep wondering what it is - but I'm convinced he's doing something in the spirit realm and he is having identical dreams, dreams in which he is forcing himself into my life - and then I am experiencing the same in the spirit realm!

[Lucky]

Thanks for your comments.
Pequena Estrela, I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m finding out a person doesn’t have to be dead in order to haunt. I’ve heard of entity attachments but it’s crazy to think it can occur with someone living. It’s like they can manipulate in the astral plane when we are in a dream state. I, too, have had very detailed and vivid dreams of this person as if it’s real. I wonder how this all works...are they consciously intruding and purposely invading our dreams? I’ve always thought that dreams were personal to the dreamer, a way of working things out in our subconscious...but I’ve had too many dreams that prove something else is happening, whether it’s someone deceased visiting me, a telepathic connection to members of my soul group, and what feels like real interaction with my ex. These are more than just dreams.

Hi

me and a girlfriend sometimes has the same drea where we meet up, the strangest dreams, they stand out to her so she send me a message about it the next day and at first when it began to happen my chin dropped, one time i got in time to first tell my love of my dream where she was in and what was happening in the dream to then get a message from her explaining the same thing. so his chin dropped too. we live far from each other and do not share our every day life together but each time we meet it is as if we have never been apart. first time i met her i liked her very much.

if i may suggest something it is i think a part of "what if" going on too because you were the one who after all left the relationship (even if I do not dispute you having every cause to do so). I have been through something where I too had to leave because I could not take the consequences of staying, but for me it is that thought/feeling that I broke something, I switch road. I remember promising myself after this failed relationship to make really, really sure I was not being head strong and proud and in the heat of the moment walk out. Of course what could have happened if I had stayed is that he could have left me the next day or maybe a year from then, who knows. But when one is the one who is active, cutting off contact, I do think it follows you. For me it was much easier, a relief when I was dumped once, people thought I was heartbroken but I had already grieved this failure while I was in the relationship so I was surprisingly fine to the degree I thought something was wrong with me for feeling as good as I was feeling. And I had no hard feelings against this man either, we were just were too different. I have never had a dream of him and I never think of him (unless now when this subject came up), Maybe because it was his decision? On a subconscious level I think I have felt guilt for leaving this other relationship even if I knew myself enough at the time to know I could not stay. So why feel guilt then? Sometimes things just don't make sense.

if your ex is one in your soul group you are more connected than the rest outside this soul group, also you describe an intense relationship. You do something you both like, I presume, in your dream and his, something neutral, safe, picking out stuff for your home. I have lost someone to the other side more than 10 years ago and I still dream of us going shopping together, something we liked to do in reality, and catch up talking. I can't say if it is only a dream or not, only that it makes me feel better after having had such a dream. like she is checking in on me, almost?

on a soul level you and your ex, being part of your soul group,do love each other.I think from soul perspective we always wants to make everything alright, we want to mend what is broken even if we know in our sober minds here on earth that some things can not be fixed during this life time.

Anyways these are just my thoughts on the subject :)

[Lynn]

Hello

it is a thread like this that brings us at times together to see we are not alone in our struggles that we share in so much at times that makes us feel so alone.

It would have been 40 Years this year if I had stayed with my EX. Had the Universe not had other plans I would still be with the abuse, my kids still would be struggling with the home issues. They never knew what he did to me until this year, I felt that they finally were of age to understand that I hid a lot from them and that I protected them from a lot. While the abuse went to them as well, I can only imagine how bad it would have gotten had I had to stay the course with him.

It is easy to say "leave" and much harder to leave as the courts would have seen him the way friends of his and mine say him "a nice guy" one that seemed to dote on me and the kids.

While I live in a smaller place its amazing how few times I did run into him, and my friends ran into him. There were times when we did run into his car and were able to go to other stores to avoid him Blessed he has moved 3 hours away now.

To live in fear is not living, I had a fear of him doing something, snapping and coming to the house. Or doing something to the kids. I feel I can breathe a bit more now. I admit that I still would prefer him 6 feet under. That is not in my hands....but I can dream.

I know so many that feel time heals all wounds and that you can re start life, that one's change. I do not see that very often unless lots of intervention work is done by that individual. Mine would start a program clean up a bit and then carry on.

Lynn

I have a narcissist living next door,and by changing my thoughts and not being affected,there is a sense of peace,a cord cut,no conflict,we just don't talk anymore.

And that suits me fine and have zero interest in being reeled in and subjected to verbal abuse by a narcissist.

I won't bring myself down to there level and operate from a place of hate,

That's what they want and feed on after all.

Forgive,heal,heal others,and let sleeping dogs lie.