Looking for Celibate friends

[Inika]

Originally Posted by Alita

Hi lnika. Glad to find people who are practicing this! I see quite a few of responses here actually say their celibacy status isn't permanent. I d like to keep mine permanent though. What about you ?

it wont be permanent. it's to create less energetic entanglement(s) and focus on my own energy, clearing. Focus on some soul work which requires healing in other areas. Seeing my sexuality as sacred and something intimate to share. Until I'm in such a place and ready to bring someone into it. I'm focusing on other things.
I'm not pushing, forcing, or making any moves about making it happen. It actually feels natural to be 'into myself' without sexual urges. Like a kid, doesn't think about sexual urges, too busy with their own wee self.

my first year of celibacy was difficult. but as time went on it's waned and i dont notice anymore.

[SaturninePluto]

That depends on what celibate means, or rather what actually constitutes or is decided upon, by whom else? Humans, what celibacy is.

Do I have sex with other individuals? Not for 3 years.

Do I care to? Not really.

I find most people irritating, and am fed up with humankind.

Do I miss physical affection not involving sex? Of course.

I've not been hugged by another other than my mother for a year. And I tell her not to. Well of course I've been hugged by my niece but I'll actually allow her.

Other than that cuddles from my favorite cat will do.

There are literally 5 people around me physically in my life I actually like, all of them are family, and I am not interested in wasting celibacy on family for God's sake (little off color joke anyone? Come on).

I'd like a hug every now and then, from someone other than my mother or niece, even a female friend- friend only.

I do not foresee that happening anytime soon.

I find most of my friends irritating.

Will not visit me, travel to me, to simply come and see me, but if I'd like to see them I am expected to travel.

Intimacy? I don't like being unloved, but I can survive without it.

Food and water on the other hand...

[Ascension]

I wish i could talk about this , but i feel my words wouldn't be enough .
* I still believe * ...

[angelic star]

I find most people irritating, and am fed up with humankind.

I don't feel so alone without people. Haven't for the last decade, and I think I can survive another.
I think I realize some things about myself as an adult, than I didn't as a teenager. One of them is what I can offer to others.
Relationships are not really big on scene for me.
People come and go, and mostly they hold a vision of me, that I can almost never relate to. That's because I am happier being alone, at least at this point and it has always been so. For some others it harder to understand.
I don't think I can say that I am practicing celibacy or that it is even circumstantial, I think this is who I am.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Alita

How is it not on purpose ? Lol

well there was a night with a person where I would have done the thing, but biology was like NOPE. it was for the best though.

also, if/when I meet the right person, then my celibacy will be over. so.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

That depends on what celibate means, or rather what actually constitutes or is decided upon, by whom else? Humans, what celibacy is.

Do I have sex with other individuals? Not for 3 years.

Do I care to? Not really.

I find most people irritating, and am fed up with humankind.

Do I miss physical affection not involving sex? Of course.

I've not been hugged by another other than my mother for a year. And I tell her not to. Well of course I've been hugged by my niece but I'll actually allow her.

Other than that cuddles from my favorite cat will do.

There are literally 5 people around me physically in my life I actually like, all of them are family, and I am not interested in wasting celibacy on family for God's sake (little off color joke anyone? Come on).

I'd like a hug every now and then, from someone other than my mother or niece, even a female friend- friend only.

I do not foresee that happening anytime soon.

I find most of my friends irritating.

Will not visit me, travel to me, to simply come and see me, but if I'd like to see them I am expected to travel.

Intimacy? I don't like being unloved, but I can survive without it.

Food and water on the other hand...

Saturn -- I want to give you this... not too squishy though...just right ;)

I feel from you (if I am getting it right) that you are giving more than you are getting in a lot of relationships, and/or it seems that others have an agenda primarily other than simply loving you and enjoying your company.

Both of which are draining and thus annoying.

I confess I feel this way about most of the coffee dates I've been on, assuming they are not outright cads or boors. I feel the desperate, oppressive weight of their needs, and that's fine if they have these needs, it is what it is. But they've got to manage them and reign it in. It's way too invasive and burdensome to come with I'm lonely and horny so please cater to my amorphous impersonal needs, thought I will still barely know you after a handful of dates. The thing is, I truly enjoy coffee dates with kind and engaged gents and would enjoy getting to know at least some of them better as people...but I will not and cannot be forced to decide on something like sex after a handful of dates. That is coercive and feels cold, like prostitution but for free.

This is one of the main reasons I choose to be celibate thus far...because the overwhelming majority of the single/divorced gents in this area (and probably most places) are so uniformly pushy and restless. If they think you're attractive, they want to push faster and yet if you're not then they'd have ignored you altogether. That is obnoxious and insulting...and it means that they give no non-familial woman any true regard...it's all about potentially gratifying themselves on her for too many. Too many can't go more than a few dates without physical gratification and/or the "promise of it" (i.e., excessive bootlicking and starry eyes to let them know you'll be giving it up very soon because they're just so impressive). Even if you're already acquainted, if you want to spend any time getting to know them better, they'll too often presume it's because you're sexually attracted when in fact you have no idea...as that is dependent on whether there is a deeper love, which takes time and is based hugely on their character and their capacity to give and to see and respect you. If a man is too arrogant and thinks he has some kind of coarse physical pull, I am repulsed and turned off, because it shows the superficiality and limitation of his way of connecting with others.

The artifice and coarseness of it all + the heavy-handed demands and expectations, together, are totally the most monstrous turn off because there is only 5% wanting to get to know you and 95% just needing an outlet who looks and sounds good. Now why on earth would any of this be even remotely attractive to someone who meets others (including men) as equals and wants to get to know others and be known by others on a personal level? Meaning, who I am as a person, what's in my mind and heart -- and not just crassly knowing me sexually with an impersonal hand who neither knows nor cares about me.

That's one of the nice things about coming here...I can put forward who I am (via the written word at least, LOL) and not have gents disparage and belittle my humanity because they want to deal with me as a "thing", as something they can use (or want to). Here, I can expect and receive EQUITY. I have a voice and it can be heard. I share my thoughts on coffee dates too and loads of them are unable to understand that women, including all those they think are "hot" or "fit", are thoughtful, serious, measured, rational, deep, and worthy of respect. And still have a wicked sense of humour. And not define ourselves by what others think...particularly superficial others. We are not our packaging. They have to friggin GET that or else frankly just sod off, LOL, and all the best to ye...

In a different form, all of this sort of thing could be the same for you with friends and fam, except that it may be less repulsive (LOL) but also it may cut more, since you know them better and expect them to care about you and your feelings.

Totally unsolicited, but my thoughts are that you need some appreciation and affirmation, and you deserve it...

You might try (depending on how dense or selfish your friends & fam are) point-blank asking (nicely) to spend time with them just catching up or going to do something where you can feel appreciated and get some face time. And plan accordingly depending on what they say

You may need a different place to be nurtured, whether it's volunteering or spending time with a discussion group or other group. Or whatever works for you, so that you feel that you are giving back to yourself where others are not.

Peace & blessings
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by angelic star

I don't feel so alone without people. Haven't for the last decade, and I think I can survive another.
I think I realize some things about myself as an adult, than I didn't as a teenager. One of them is what I can offer to others.
Relationships are not really big on scene for me.
People come and go, and mostly they hold a vision of me, that I can almost never relate to. That's because I am happier being alone, at least at this point and it has always been so. For some others it harder to understand.
I don't think I can say that I am practicing celibacy or that it is even circumstantial, I think this is who I am.

Nicely said Angel...I get that and I agree...we are being who we are and living in alignment with what is right for us.

Peace & blessings
7L

[Realm Ki]

5 ys and counting.

Deliberate. But not for spiritual enhancement - for a thorough clearing of dysfunctional patterns, and space to build sound connections with foremost friends and at some point my love.

[Dargor]

Apparently, me trying to end my single status is the same like attempting to defy the law of physics. Perhaps a major reason to become celibate.

[Realm Ki]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Apparently, me trying to end my single status is the same like attempting to defy the law of physics. Perhaps a major reason to become celibate.

Lol.

Oh but haven't you heard? "Not trying" is the allmighty answer to everything