I'm going to become selfish

[Shivani Devi]

I just had a very weird experience.

I walked into my ISP provider to get an internet pre-paid voucher. There were three customer service officers serving others with lengthy enquiries, like purchasing a new phone, billing mistakes and such... nobody was waiting in the waiting room, so I sat down on a chair, waiting for the next available representative.

After I walked in, five customers came in after me and sat down on the chairs in the waiting room. After about ten minutes, a service staff member came in and said "who was next"? and, of course, everybody including myself raised their hand. Then the service person said "one at a time please" and everybody else except for me, rushed this poor woman, shoving phones, bills, documents etc in her face, while I just looked on in sheer disbelief.

The loudest and most insistent of the group got her attention, and was led away into a booth. After another five minutes or so, another customer service representative became free and the situation repeated itself while I looked on. Meanwhile, more customers were arriving and joining in the whole melee, totally oblivious to the fact that I was there before any of them and blatantly lying to the customer service officer when he/she asked "who was next"?

After about half an hour of this, I could take no more and when the next person wanted to push in and queue-jump, I stood up and said "excuse me, I arrived before all of those people who have been served in the past half hour, so when is it MY turn...or should I come back later?" With that, the customer service person said "please calm down, madam... we'll get to you soon...We have been so busy" and I was like "yeah, busy with OTHER people when you should have been busy with me".

It took about an hour and for the waiting room to be totally empty of customers except for myself before I was finally served...and when I asked why that was, I got "sorry, but I just did not see you there" ... What a load of bulls***.

It got me thinking though....What do other people have that I seem to lack when it comes to getting others to notice them....help them? and why has this been a recurring phenomenon throughout my whole life? I have also felt sad and sorry my whole life because of it.

Then I thought about it...I should make the most of this gift of unnoticability...of being so unassuming, that I don't exist, for all intents and purposes...I missed my calling as a spy...or a mercenary...or a criminal, I mean there must be somebody out there who could use the services of a Phantom....isn't it?

[Shivani Devi]

And so it is, that whenever there are a group of people competing for a limited service or resource, it is usually those who have the most money or who are the loudest, most whiny and most persistent who will gain access to it over anybody else due to "survival of the fittest" or due to "Natural selection"...It is an evolutionary thing, so that in a world population bordering on 8 million, the most aggressive and cut throat genes will get passed on to future generations...So much for the meek inheriting the Earth.

I see this everywhere, in government offices, in doctor's surgeries, in restaurants, in parking lots...not to mention at the deli counter when the ticket machine is broken and people almost come to fisticuffs over the last half kilo of shaved ham...and the children are looking on and learning this behaviour.

Last night, I saw a documentary about primates, hosted by David Attenborough and it's easy to see where this behaviour originates. It is also very easy to see how and why it is that we descended from apes in the first place and I like to keep that in mind before judging such people, being that they do not know any better...Just like how a monkey does not.

Then they showed chimpanzees cracking open nuts using a stone anvil and a stone pounding tool. There was this one female chimp who had the anvil and nuts, but looked all over for a pounding stone and couldn't find one...So, she approached a male chimp, busy pounding nuts open...made some coo-ing sounds, pointed in the direction of her stone anvil and then held out her hand...and...The Male chimp gave her his pounding stone!

This touched something deep inside me and in that moment, I realised human beings are nothing like chimps...Maybe we can learn from them and maybe there's hope for the species yet.

[Shivani Devi]

And so it is, that whenever there are a group of people competing for a limited service or resource, it is usually those who have the most money or who are the loudest, most whiny and most persistent who will gain access to it over anybody else due to "survival of the fittest" or due to "Natural selection"...It is an evolutionary thing, so that in a world population bordering on 8 million, the most aggressive and cut throat genes will get passed on to future generations...So much for the meek inheriting the Earth.

I see this everywhere, in government offices, in doctor's surgeries, in restaurants, in parking lots...not to mention at the deli counter when the ticket machine is broken and people almost come to fisticuffs over the last half kilo of shaved ham.

Last night, I saw a documentary about primates, hosted by David Attenborough and it's easy to see where this behaviour originates. It is also very easy to see how and why it is that we descended from apes in the first place and I like to keep that in mind before judging such people, being that they do not know any better...Just like how a monkey does not.

Then they showed chimpanzees cracking open nuts using a stone anvil and a stone pounding tool. There was this one female chimp who had the anvil and nuts, but looked all over for a pounding stone and couldn't find one...So, she approached a male chimp, busy pounding nuts open...made some coo-ing sounds, pointed in the direction of her stone anvil and then held out her hand...and...The Male chimp gave her his pounding stone!

This touched something deep inside me and in that moment, I realised human beings are nothing like chimps...Maybe we can learn from them and maybe there's hope for the species yet.

[Shivani Devi]

Oh wow, three posts duplicated themselves simultaneously. That must be a SF record.

[Miss Hepburn]

Lessons for me on selfishness used throughout my life...
-Take care of No.1....then you can take care of others.
-another way to put it...Put your face mask on first.
-another way....When momma's happy, everyone's happy.
-another way...Peace starts with you.

Ayn Rand's 'The Fountainhead' is a good read if anyone feels co-dependency is bringing them down...
also, 'Co-dependency No More'.

[soulforce]

Originally Posted by Bubbles

As Gandhi said, you be the change you want the see in the world, don't tell them. Act, don't preach. I don't know why I fall in this trap, I see someone on reddit or any other social place, I try to open a door for them, be it meditation benefits or praying, chakras understanding and their logic, SR/SE practices etc... and all I get is responses from ignorant teenagers that talk back like experts, with absolutely 0 knowledge on the subject. I am not even sure why I am triggered. I think is because at the root of my intention, it was for a good cause, to help, to open a door for one who needs it to progress further. To see that you do not have to take a pill like lithium and xanax to numb your mind when instead you could take a spiritual approach, find the root of your problems, find balance, find joy, find yourself etc. I don't know why I get triggered, I usually wouldn't care. But I think I'm done. There's so much more for me to learn and practice. It is my fault I open my mouth in the wrong places. And then I realize, I am going to become selfish. Selfish in the way that I am no longer going to care into sharing knowledge with 'common' people that have no knowledge on 'spiritual' matters. It only arises annoyance and leads to empty talks with no real arguments. I will focus more on mastering what I know, on learning more and if I wish to speak about it, only do so in the appropriate places. Sure, in 'real world' I'm not making this mistake, I can read a person fairly easy. On the internet, I assume everybody is more open minded, but you never know when you are speaking with/or being replied by a 15 years old kid. I'm going to become selfish, for my own good.

Hi Bubbles, this might be a lesson from the universe to help your Spiritual expansion. Some people might not be receptive to spirituality because it's not their soul journey. It has nothing to do with you, or what you failed to do for them. Some people don't need spirituality to find meaning and purpose in the Universe, and that's okay.

I would encourage you to be more flexible when dealing with people who might not use your terminologies to describe the workings of the human condition.

Truthfully, who are we to judge another person's soul and know what that soul has been through? Every single person alive has been reincarnated at one point or another. Every single person has experienced death, and rebirth, growth and retraction. Every single person has experienced unity with the Source or God. They know what we know, even if they don't use the same mechanisms to describe the human condition in this lifetime.

You're correct the other person on the other side of the computer may be 15 years old, but their soul is much older than that. And I know you know that's true. Never discredit a human being by the number of years they lived in their bodies. Judge them by the content of their character. Even if they aren't receptive to hearing about chakras, love them anyways. And you will find more peace within yourself.

[Lightseer]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I just had a very weird experience.

I walked into my ISP provider to get an internet pre-paid voucher. There were three customer service officers serving others with lengthy enquiries, like purchasing a new phone, billing mistakes and such... nobody was waiting in the waiting room, so I sat down on a chair, waiting for the next available representative.

After I walked in, five customers came in after me and sat down on the chairs in the waiting room. After about ten minutes, a service staff member came in and said "who was next"? and, of course, everybody including myself raised their hand. Then the service person said "one at a time please" and everybody else except for me, rushed this poor woman, shoving phones, bills, documents etc in her face, while I just looked on in sheer disbelief.

The loudest and most insistent of the group got her attention, and was led away into a booth. After another five minutes or so, another customer service representative became free and the situation repeated itself while I looked on. Meanwhile, more customers were arriving and joining in the whole melee, totally oblivious to the fact that I was there before any of them and blatantly lying to the customer service officer when he/she asked "who was next"?

After about half an hour of this, I could take no more and when the next person wanted to push in and queue-jump, I stood up and said "excuse me, I arrived before all of those people who have been served in the past half hour, so when is it MY turn...or should I come back later?" With that, the customer service person said "please calm down, madam... we'll get to you soon...We have been so busy" and I was like "yeah, busy with OTHER people when you should have been busy with me".

It took about an hour and for the waiting room to be totally empty of customers except for myself before I was finally served...and when I asked why that was, I got "sorry, but I just did not see you there" ... What a load of bulls***.

It got me thinking though....What do other people have that I seem to lack when it comes to getting others to notice them....help them? and why has this been a recurring phenomenon throughout my whole life? I have also felt sad and sorry my whole life because of it.

Then I thought about it...I should make the most of this gift of unnoticability...of being so unassuming, that I don't exist, for all intents and purposes...I missed my calling as a spy...or a mercenary...or a criminal, I mean there must be somebody out there who could use the services of a Phantom....isn't it?

I've just read your post about being you being subservient to gods and thought maybe this is spilling over into your physical life, that you are giving off a submissive vibe or energy. Also, you did say you didn't assert the fact that you knew they were pushing in front of you, why not?

It's a good idea to keep aspects of certain spiritual traits or behaviours separate to physical aspects sometimes.

[Lightseer]

Originally Posted by Bubbles

Amazing! You just put in better words, what I was trying to say above by 'variable' regarding deciding to offer help or refusing. And yes, using the word 'trap' fits quite good. There are so many traps in life I am becoming aware of, it is a very good concept word.



Same. The conclusion I draw (and it may be neutral) is that in life, I shouldn't rely on the good I did in the past in a relationship (friend, family etc). Relationships are liquid, they need to be sustained... although it bothers me that some people don't keep in mind receiving plenty of help and it should normally count for something in present. For example, someone could get angry on you for a particular event and chose to stay angry, 'forgetting' the amount of time you sacrificed for them in the past. I may be wrong, but I noticed that I shouldn't rely much on past, those are just small blocks that moves a relationship further, but it should never be taken for granted.



lol. you are completely right. thank you for this!



"but at the same time wasting your energies on those who are not ready, is not helping anyone." -- yep, the feeling of this is what brought me here to create this thread. I got frustrated, confused and became aware of what you wrote there. That line, I will keep in my mind for good!

Thank you!

You're welcome.

I was glad to read this thread as it really is one that affects people who are deeply spiritual. The desire to help is strong and then we are faced with so much negativity at times. This is a good discussion to have.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Lightseer

I've just read your post about being you being subservient to gods and thought maybe this is spilling over into your physical life, that you are giving off a submissive vibe or energy. Also, you did say you didn't assert the fact that you knew they were pushing in front of you, why not?

It's a good idea to keep aspects of certain spiritual traits or behaviours separate to physical aspects sometimes.

My submission and subservience really has nothing to do imho.

Why did I wait so long before asserting myself and not speak up?

I can just imagine it now...

Me: "I was here first...serve me first...they are pushing in".
Other person: "Prove it! she is lying! I was here before her, so I should be served first!"
Me: "Would you like to accompany me to the parking lot and we shall let our fists decide who was here first?"
Me: *takes out knife and stabs them anyway*

There is a reason why I am like I am... It is more preferable to the alternative...hang around here for a bit longer and you may get to know and even like me.

[Shivani Devi]

...and of course, my Higher Self reminds me that this is why those with genocidal tendencies like to do everything online as it is the "way of the future" and covers everything from grocery shopping, to paying bills, to having spiritual conversations.

With the world's population growing more than the world can support it, wouldn't human ingenuity come up with a formal queue ticketing or appointment system for those who want to do things the "old way" by going into the bank to make a transaction, going into a shop to be served or going into the utility company to pay a bill?

Also, people should be given the option to pay for VIP service like at restaurants and clubs because hitting the "hip Pocket nerve" will sort out the 'men' from the 'boys' as it were and I wouldn't mind paying like ten bucks to get served first... especially since I WAS first...However, bribing five people to let me go next is a bit out of my budget.