Advice please.

[ssdm1]

I've been doing well a lot of good things going on in my life. In contact with my twin but not as much. Then...

he contacts me after seeing all I've been up to on my social media page. He's happy, wants to talk, and flirting hard. I'm happy, I'm having fun with him, he gives me hope. Being with him is exciting. Then his mood changes and he's back to being more formal, not as talkative. And I crash after a few days.

I'm now feeling a void. Advice says "get a hobby." I hate hobbies. I hate puzzles, crosswords, arts & crafts. I already do the things I'm interested in. I can't think of anything new I'd like to do or learn.

Right now life seems very dull and boring - that sense of excitement I have with him, gone for now. What do you all do to deal with this?

Thank you

[happyhaunts03]

Write a book. Seriously, when I was going through a lot with all the energies and issues and hadn't accepted it for what it is, I wrote a book about my experience. I made it fiction of course because (1) I wouldn't want to make my TF angry, and (2) no one would believe the truth if I said it was nonfiction. But, it really helped with catharsis. I never sold my book, just posted it online for others to read for free, but it helped me work through my issues and gave me a hobby.

[Aldous]

I just came back from riding my bike around. I was sitting outside the student union at the UMD feeding the birds and just like everyday for the last 40 years I imagine being with the special one who is now incarnate in the body of a woman that now lives in Florida. I imagine talking to her and think about what is going on with her. She said she was going to move into an apartment soon. I haven't talked to her for about a month.. She said she was surprised I remembered her birthday. Is she just putting on an act or what?

[Akira]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

I've been doing well a lot of good things going on in my life. In contact with my twin but not as much. Then...

he contacts me after seeing all I've been up to on my social media page. He's happy, wants to talk, and flirting hard. I'm happy, I'm having fun with him, he gives me hope. Being with him is exciting. Then his mood changes and he's back to being more formal, not as talkative. And I crash after a few days.

I'm now feeling a void. Advice says "get a hobby." I hate hobbies. I hate puzzles, crosswords, arts & crafts. I already do the things I'm interested in. I can't think of anything new I'd like to do or learn.

Right now life seems very dull and boring - that sense of excitement I have with him, gone for now. What do you all do to deal with this?

Thank you

Hi Hunni
I haven't been here for a while and recognise that I only come on here when all is falling apart a bit, but hey ho that's my story!!! Here's my answer to your question, sit in your feelings. It is something that I have been doing recently and it really clarifies everything. It's a kind of Mindfulness, not that I love the whole movement or anything, it's just that anything that can help is the answer. Also weirdly or synchronistically I am listening to Christina Perri - I am only human. Love yourself, put you first and journal around anything that he keeps bringing up. Just keep writing until you feel better... It works with everything, just keep writing until you find you and what you want. It's about you and not emotional blackmail or making us feel like we owe anything.

You are perfect, so protect that part of you and find the place that makes you feel your best you and let go of anything that does not fit in with that...

Big love to you

[Aloneyetnot]

Originally Posted by Akira

Hi Hunni
I haven't been here for a while and recognise that I only come on here when all is falling apart a bit, but hey ho that's my story!!! Here's my answer to your question, sit in your feelings. It is something that I have been doing recently and it really clarifies everything. It's a kind of Mindfulness, not that I love the whole movement or anything, it's just that anything that can help is the answer. Also weirdly or synchronistically I am listening to Christina Perri - I am only human. Love yourself, put you first and journal around anything that he keeps bringing up. Just keep writing until you feel better... It works with everything, just keep writing until you find you and what you want. It's about you and not emotional blackmail or making us feel like we owe anything.

You are perfect, so protect that part of you and find the place that makes you feel your best you and let go of anything that does not fit in with that...

Big love to you

I love and second that advice, Akira. Ssdm1, I sent you a private message. Hugs to all!

[FairyCrystal]

In all honesty? What you describe is simply put this: My life is boring and dull.
Quite logical you feel so alive when he enters your life and spices it up. This is exactly what you have to do yourself: spice up your life.
Do some soul searching. You mention I hate an awful lot. Not a very healthy approach to life, very negative. Look at Dr Masaru Emoto's water crystals for "I hate" and the one for "Love"... this shows you the difference and what it does to feel that way and how it then affects your body, mind, energy, health.
Seriously, look it up.

So I wouldn't suggest get a hobby, I would suggest doing some soul-searching, maybe even with a coach or a very good self-help book, as to why you have so little inspiration and passion and zest for life?
Why do you feel so unhappy deep down?
There's likely inner child stuff that needs addressing, all these things come down to inner child stuff.
You do want that passion and inspiration in life, that's why you feel so good when he brings it to you. But there you have it: someone else brings it in. You have to learn to do this yourself. And this has to come from within. It's not something you can fake.
And I feel this is where it goes 'wrong'. So there lies your answer: why do you feel so unhappy deep down? What's bothering you? What's keeping you from feeling and experiencing joy?

This is likely to be found on the sacral chakra as this is all about that: happiness, spontaneity, relating, expressing yourself, creation, it's where ideas are born, inspiration.
If I'm picking up on your energies right, you really need a good cry, and a serious cuddle, and a place where you feel safe and secure. Almost like in the womb. Which makes me think: did you experience enough safety/security during very early childhood?
See if and how you can give this to yourself. And to get there, you may have to do some serious soul-searching and lots of crying to let pain out.

That's prolly why he came into your life again, to trigger this, as we are entering a very turbulent time (Lion's Gate, solar and lunar eclipses) which are all meant to cleanse, and at the same time to grow. In order to grow you gotta let go of the old that isn't serving you anymore.

Anyhow, that's what came up, not from the head, but from intuition.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

In all honesty? What you describe is simply put this: My life is boring and dull.
Quite logical you feel so alive when he enters your life and spices it up. This is exactly what you have to do yourself: spice up your life.
Do some soul searching. You mention I hate an awful lot. Not a very healthy approach to life, very negative. Look at Dr Masaru Emoto's water crystals for "I hate" and the one for "Love"... this shows you the difference and what it does to feel that way and how it then affects your body, mind, energy, health.
Seriously, look it up.

So I wouldn't suggest get a hobby, I would suggest doing some soul-searching, maybe even with a coach or a very good self-help book, as to why you have so little inspiration and passion and zest for life?
Why do you feel so unhappy deep down?
There's likely inner child stuff that needs addressing, all these things come down to inner child stuff.
You do want that passion and inspiration in life, that's why you feel so good when he brings it to you. But there you have it: someone else brings it in. You have to learn to do this yourself. And this has to come from within. It's not something you can fake.
And I feel this is where it goes 'wrong'. So there lies your answer: why do you feel so unhappy deep down? What's bothering you? What's keeping you from feeling and experiencing joy?

This is likely to be found on the sacral chakra as this is all about that: happiness, spontaneity, relating, expressing yourself, creation, it's where ideas are born, inspiration.
If I'm picking up on your energies right, you really need a good cry, and a serious cuddle, and a place where you feel safe and secure. Almost like in the womb. Which makes me think: did you experience enough safety/security during very early childhood?
See if and how you can give this to yourself. And to get there, you may have to do some serious soul-searching and lots of crying to let pain out.

That's prolly why he came into your life again, to trigger this, as we are entering a very turbulent time (Lion's Gate, solar and lunar eclipses) which are all meant to cleanse, and at the same time to grow. In order to grow you gotta let go of the old that isn't serving you anymore.

Anyhow, that's what came up, not from the head, but from intuition.

Thanks FC, makes a lot of sense.

The part I highlighted. No, I didn't due to a serious accident my father was in and my parents being away from me for long periods. I had not thought of this, so I'm glad you pointed it out.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Right now life seems very dull and boring

My experience is there are two kinds of bored:
1. Rainy day boring -- I don't know what to do today, I'm bored.
2. Soul pain boring -- What am I going to do with my life?!
Advice dependent on boredom type!

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Thanks FC, makes a lot of sense.

The part I highlighted. No, I didn't due to a serious accident my father was in and my parents being away from me for long periods. I had not thought of this, so I'm glad you pointed it out.

I thought so, really felt your energies come through.
Not having enough safety/security as a young child has enormous consequences later on in life. Look for inner child work on this, it might really help you.
I'm having to do the same thing. It can cause you to become a pleaser/giver, not able to receive love yourself, not feeling good enough as your parents never were there for you, and much more to it. All this has serious repercussions later on in life, especially in your love life.
If you're interested in healing these things, look into Wilhelm Reich character structures. Finding out which one you are, what the typical problems of it are, what you can do about it and so on can be VERY helpful.
I'm doing the same thing myself, I never experienced emotional safety either due to an ill sister who ate up all attention.
Because of that, I have an 'oral's character structure' and everything I've read about it is spot on! So much so it's shocking, hihi.
Now also working on inner child stuff with a great self help book. One i'd purchased years ago, but never finished it. Now I am ready, I wasn't back then.

In general the 'problem' is that a young child still thinks black & white. Meaning if parents aren't there it won't think "they are busy or worried or stressed" but "They don't want me!" "They don't love me"
Stuff like that. A young child can not make distinctions yet.
Such convictions will stick in your subconscious and will be repeated your entire life. All your action and reactions will come from that, even if you cannot recall them right away.

Just think of how a love relationship will pan out if deep down you have the conviction that people who should love you, are closest to you, do not love you (the child's interpretation)!
Tremendous impact!! And the likelihood that these things will sabotage your relationships is enormous, even when at first it was the best match in the world.
Now the other party comes with their own backpack of such things...
Making it very important to at least become aware of any such patterns and try to heal them (inner child work).

[Inika]

sounds like a drug. in order to feel excitement you need something to give it to you and the come down is really bad.