letting go and moving on

FairyCrystal · #1 29-06-2018, 12:19 AM

After 7 months I was finally at the point where I had let go of it all. I was already working actively on getting to the point where I could attract in a new partner as I felt I was ready. So I was working with Law of Attraction, but not in any kind of hurry.
Yet, card readings kept giving me indication that the man would come real soon and I kept getting a name as well, although I wasn't sure if that was real intuition or not.
Then 3 days ago I went online on a dating site I'm a member of, just for the heck of it. And a man with the name I kept getting began talking to me. It was nice, felt good. He really wants to meet me. It made me so happy, for the first time in months I felt hopeful and excited about dating again. I'd completely lost that feeling. I had to record a few vids for my channel and people said I was looking really good. They of course didn't know why. Now I'm always shining, but this was like the icing on the cake :)
Anyhow, we've been talking briefly daily since then and if things work out we are going to meet in a few days.

Now the funny thing is, yesterday or today (cannot remember) I found myself thinking, now wouldn't it be odd if TF now contacts me?! And it wouldn't surprise me, as he'll likely feel I'm now really letting go and moving on.
Lo' and behold... I got an email early this evening from TF...
Long story short, we were on the phone for just over 2 hours. And it was good, although at first I was distant, not knowing why he wanted to talk, nor how I'd feel if I'd hear his voice again.
And so funny, it felt good to talk to him, we still click, instant understanding, but I didn't feel any desire to get back with him, nothing like missing him either.
And after the call I felt good, relieved, as if now it's finally dealt with, as if only now I have really let go. Something has gone. It feels a bit strange, but it's good.
It was intense, I am tired. But now I feel free to really move on and go on my date with this so far wonderful new man!
No idea where it will go, but he isn't interested in something casual, he really wants something worthwhile, just like me.
And it just feels good to be talking to a man again, to feel desired and so on.

I'm posting this so maybe some feel encouraged to know there IS recovery after TF breakup and also moving on.
But it really depends on you. You need to have the inner strength and resilience to move on and bounce back and the determination that you want to be happy again. So no moping around, no feeling sorry for yourself, no latching on to someone.
Yes, it is painful, yes, it takes time, but if you want to be happy, you can be. With another partner I mean, not on your own, settling for a single life because deep down you're still latching on to your ex TF.
At some point I made a conscious decision that it had to be enough as it was costing me my health (two root canals due to grinding my teeth at night as I kept dreaming about him each and every bleeping night. Cost me a fortune, still paying of the dental bills). I decided right then and there it had been enough.
It took serious willpower but I did stop dreaming of him, and grinding my teeth which was also badly affecting my neck injury and tinnitus, and very soon after that he was in my thoughts less and less. Soon I only thought of him every now and then as opposed to almost 24/7.

I have also focused on my own dreams and goals in life from 5 days after our breakup onwards. That kept me going, kept me strong, got me through it. I did workshops even though my heart was in pieces and I was in pain. But I made it.
And like I said, it all depends on your own mindset. If you keep the vibration active in your system by latching on and thinking and pining and whining over it all the time it will not go away.

And you know what... in retrospect I'm happy I'm not with him anymore because too many things were not how I wanted them to be in a relationship.
The connection will likely remain, but even that I managed to sever for the most part. A few weeks back I picked up something, a physical ailment out of the blue that I'm almost 100% was his as he has a problem with that, I don't.
Hence me saying parts of the connection will likely remain. But as long as that is in the very distant background, I'm okay with that.

In any case, I'm manifesting my dreams in life, I'm feeling good, and I'm really looking forward to meeting this new man. Life is looking up again :)

happyhaunts03 · #2 29-06-2018, 02:23 AM

Congratulations. Hopefully this new person in your life becomes something special.

As many of you know, I've been separated from my TF for over 10 years. My path was similar to yours and I was also able to find someone who I could be with. It's not quite the same type of connection and love, but all connections and types of love are worth experiencing in life and I really believe that just because you've met your TF and separated doesn't mean you're ruined for anyone else. Enjoy your experiences. They can be truly special.

FairyCrystal · #3 29-06-2018, 11:01 AM

Hi Happyhaunts!
I hope so too, but I'm trying to not get ahead of myself :) But just getting in touch with a man who's really interested in me, and who himself seems interesting, genuine, AND looking for a committed relationship... just that in itself is great!
I agree that there are different types of love and connection. But as long as you're happy, that's what matters most, isn't it :)

selene · #4 29-06-2018, 11:43 AM

this post makes me very happy. Congratulations FairyCrystal. Indeed, it all depends on one's mindset. We do not pick our twin. But I have understood early on in this journey that the outcome of each person's story depends on factors less spiritual and more emotional and intellectual.

FairyCrystal · #5 29-06-2018, 11:07 PM

Thank you, Selene!
And yes, I am happy to be moving on again, it feels good. In spite of that I didn't sleep too well last night, I think I had a lot of dreams, probably instigated because I spoke with TF ex.
Then tonight I had this sudden sense of sadness come over me. Not sure if it is related or something else.
Nevertheless have the date come up and looking forward to it! And trying to do things different this time, to take it as it comes and to not start making more of it in my head than it really is. Just stay in the here and now. Somehow that is more difficult than it sounds, haha.

jro5139 · #6 30-06-2018, 03:47 AM

I'm very happy for you FC! And I am happy you are manifesting the life that you want! I couldn't be happier for you:)

For me, I have one more year of grad school and getting my license and then I will be doing my soul mission. And working at a job where once I have these things, there will be plenty of positions to move up to. Also, currently planning a summer get-together with 2 of my best friends/ soul family and all our kids. So very excited for the next couple of months. I have also started to read tarot for other people (although just for free right now) and getting much more into it. It's going really well. As for relationships, I just sense and feel that I am done, and that's ok too. Our happiness doesn't hinge on another person, that's what this journey teaches us.
Good luck and have fun:)

FairyCrystal · #7 13-07-2018, 10:12 AM

Well, another milestone! I had this date coming up, right. But the closer it got, the stronger my gut feeling became that something was off. Something about this man's situation or the man himself wasn't right, didn't feel right.
I missed the interest in me, what I do, what makes me tick and so on. APart from that I have reason to believe this man wasn't single.
At first I almost dismissed my gut feelings, doing what most women do which is to neglect things that feel off, ignore the red flags.
But this time I didn't and in the end I canceled the date. And it felt good. I'm not going to ignore my intuition anymore. That's what I've done in the past time and again. Had I listened to it, my entire life would've gone differently, haha. I wouldn't have gotten involved with any of my 3 ex partners, which includes the father of my children. That is big! 2 long term relationship -10 years each- and one of a year and a half. All could've been avoided and deemed not necessary had I heeded my gut instinct...

I don't want to waste another decade nor get hurt again, so this time around I'm going to listen to my intuition: if something feels off, it is off. Bye-bye guy.

Concerning the contact I had with my TF ex... it had me off-kilter for a couple of days. Then I decided that it simply is over. Even if he'd want to come back, I dont' want that anymore. What he damaged cannot be fixed. Not this lifetime. Apart from that, there's things about him I don't want in my life. Mostly due to his own not yet healed inner child traumas.
He would've been the perfect match, the best one I've had so far, except for these few points that make it impossible to have a healthy relationship.

The great thing is, realising this, accepting this, as in really accepting it, helped me to find my feet again in no time.
I'm still not completely ready to open up fully, at the moment working out some inner child issues of my own, so it's not really a priority either to find a man.
Funny thing is that all readings keep telling me -for quite some time now- that he is around the corner.
I wonder...

alcyone · #8 13-07-2018, 12:57 PM

Thank you dear.

I'm at this spot too. I got closure but I had to pry it from her lips. She cheated on me last night. She's said she's not ready to settle down and what her and I had was real. If we continued to stay together, marriage would have been impossible to ignore. We both wanted to marry each other. Now we both have different reasons to not be ready.

I have a feeling this won't be our last time talking. But I'm done.