when you surrender to your heart....2

[Heart]

Originally Posted by Tortoise Walks

Hi Heart,

Thank you for sharing more! I’m also glad to see more of your story. I wrote a reply and lost it :-/

I do wonder about your definition of cheating... is it particular to physical sex? Are there any other confusing factors?

Thanks...

I’ll be back.

TW

Hi TW

I was subjected to peoples disbelief and in no uncirtain terms denial of there actually ever being a twin flame or soul mate connection that back then was very very hard to explain, in my stumbling for words with what is otherwise a very beautiful thing to know and do, it was assumed that TF and SM connecfions was a form of cheating an internet sex so to speak,


I accepted that not everyone is to know how to connect with another that transecends the phisical and sexual act, there is in all honesty no comparison

when lynn and I traveled in close quarters in a van in England, All of those assumed we were cheating, yet two or more men in the same situation is fine? not one raised eyebrow. what is it about men and women havcing something in common that dos not involve sex in whatever form that takes in peoples mind

could not inocence be a part of there thinking how about we all be brothers and sisters would insest be there issue, no TF and SF connections are labled as cheating to some who would cheat if they found themselves in the same situation

[Heart]

Header Note. Disclaimer: some parts of the following is where I had to experience an NDE at the cliff edge, this is by no means a representation that I was deliberately looking to end my life back then, any reference to suicide should be dismissed by all who read this as I was asked by divinity itself to step into the unknown for which I am forever grateful and humbled by its lessons.. Heart

A digression, loves intentions......

A Spiritual Journey
by Heart
To The One Who Resides Within You

Love is the only freedom in the world
because it so elevates the spirit that the laws of humanity
and the phenomena of nature do not alter its course.
Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

Introduction
A few years ago I was going through what could be described as a life lesson in love, I would for some unknown reason just fall head over heals with women, it was crazy, one minute I am just an ordinary guy doing what ordinary guys do then it happens. I meet someone who just blows me away, of course I have to be married plus I am a shy guy too but that does not stop the rollercoaster ride of emotions and feelings that pervades and is all intrusive to every part of my being, on many levels I would recommend falling in love, but on one point I would urge caution because like all good things they come to an end. love is no exception as it too has a double edged sharpness to it. I will add that not every woman is a target of my love, only those I just cant 'have' or be with, marriage is a lifelong commitment and is a great tool for keeping on track with your emotions, in other words it stopped me short of doing and saying foolish things when I was in a state of emotional turmoil. This document is based upon a true story, and should be read with an open heart, the lifes lessons learnt from love is so profound that I am urged to write about it.
What follows are real life stories, personal and profoundly expressive, you will more than likely find similarities within these pages to the experiences your having in which case many blessings to you.
Heart

Love at first sight
"I am the voice of understanding even though no sound is heard.
I speak volumes of tranquility, peace and silence of your own inner space.
Where time and distance fade into a sweet sense of wonder.
All that is felt, a purity of unconditional love " Heart

A sense of overwhelming love filled my heart as I watched her go about her business, I fell in love with every move she made, how she talked, and walked, how her hair flowed, how her smile lit up the whole universe in a single moment, its like time meant nothing as her power and utterance of being blends into an act of selflessness, OHHH so very beautiful, her skin has a silky glow, it was like being in the presence of an angel, a messenger of love. As I drew near to the counter, I started to tremble, my love for her is beyond overwhelming and to a point where every ounce of my being seemed to be locked in some kind of mental and physical block, not one word could I speak nor move without stumbling or mumbling, I looked into her eyes while she was serving the customer in front of me, I was lost for words, I saw an endless boundless inner depth of purity and beauty that is both mystifying and intriguing, it took an immense amount of energy to move to the counter, my body moved forward while my mind remained detached, I placed the drink on the counter, I slowly searched for my change, every move I made felt so surreal as if I stepped out of time and space for a few moments. After dropping a few coins and picking them up I paid for the purchase. I knew she was looking at me while all this was going on, her gaze was like being touched to the very core of my existence, It hurt so much that I couldnt look into her eyes, her inner light was so bright it was blinding,

True love.... is an art
For the rest of that day and for years after was a battle and half for truth... an inner truth so profound that even now after many years I can still feel and remember everything that went on, Tears, yes many, many tears later and heartache.. Oh My God, I can only describe as super immensely painful If any other man or woman can tell me now who reads these words is still alive after going through the kind of pain remotely understands that kind of heartache has stepped onto a spiritual learning of the true essence of divine love. I had to spend time on a cliff edge with the real intention of jumping off because I wanted to be loved so much, I had to remind myself constantly that the very essence of love is in everything and everyone. Just half a foot is all that held me in place when I heard this...

‘The universe has an opinion… it speaks to you if you listen to it. Its unwritten words are unspoken yet they can be clearly heard through a state of love tolerance and compassion’

An inner voice illuminated I with this great understanding ...

"True love is an art of living without... that is the essence of the divine spirit within your heart, not in a need or want from another’s gaze or the texture of there skin or the way she walks, that is an illusion, an illusion that is causing you pain. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... that is, you behold your own beauty within your own heart, not that of another, she is your teacher not your lover, she may show you what you already have within like a reflection of her soul when you gazed into her eyes, such depth and beauty is beyond understanding without the nature and essence of love, you can only see the truth when you are in a state of pure love, it is transforming, just look now at your body, see how your skin glows, how your posture is perfect how your muscles resonate in harmony by toning your entire body, how all the toxins in your body are gone, how keen your senses are, how your thoughts words and deeds are in line with truth and how powerful they send a message of true love to others, see how in your efforts to be loved by others has turned full circle. do you not see that what you behold in others is also beheld within yourself does this not seem similar to the woman behind the counter, how she shows you who you really are..."

Fear... is the opposing force to love, it binds and contradicts, yet it is also a great teacher of self, True unconditional love is an art of the heart, fear is written within the hearts of men with each intake and outtake of the breath, and comes and goes like the wind. letting go is a fundamental truth of the heart, yet in doing so proves to be painful and hence fear of letting go will bind you to move ever towards the darkness and a pervading presence, a cliff edge is where I went before I realized this, the true power of love can bind you or set you free and you do have a choice, when we fall completely head over heals in love with another there is a hidden fear just lurking around the corner, especially if that love is never returned, doubts are demons, fears are not knowing if those demons are real or not, I mean to say, where do we start to find peace and serenity in our hearts if we fear our own love and that of others.

Where does the light of truth reside? out there? in the Kingdom of Heaven? your best friend or maybe in a book? no. it resides within your heart, its no logical feat to surmise that there is also a raging fire that burns and a desire for it to be shared with another. It all starts with a simple truth... a candle light, a 'flicker of truth' that has long since been forgotten. covered by the darkness and shrouded in fear, when you first see your own inner light no matter how bright or dull, no matter for how long, it starts a series of internal enquires, it makes you think, and thought as we all know has an immense power to it, this my brothers and sisters is the beginning of the first real battle.

Once a spiritual path has been chosen, there’s no going back.
The following battles continued over a series of years in an on and off pattern, they are short transcripts of notes and heartfelt story’s that I have experienced, they are roughly in the order they happened so you can see how and why they occurred. Note the profound learnings that come from these experiences and how I attained a level of peace and serenity in my heart

1. For the one who showed me the way home…..

Hello everyone, there is some very deep soul searching to do and I need to be grounded and alone, at this moment I have an inner conflict which I am finding particularly hard to control, I guess it is one of the hardest things a man can go through although I have nonetheless and in all truthfulness fallen in love with someone. I can’t be with this person as they are already taken, they don’t know how I feel, and have not imposed my intentions upon them, I have somehow, for the likes of me of which I know not, restrained myself from acting upon this love, it hurts….. a lot. I recognise that the real essence of true love is to be without; that is, a restraint from lust and neediness, I recognise that in this state of being I remain unconditional and expect nothing back. I can at least produce a controlled smile at her in passing without causing her concern, if she new what I am feeling I will more than likely make a fool of myself. I nonetheless silently thank her for this gift of insight, it does however leave a boundless awakening within, naked reality in its purity, the very essence of my humanity striped of all its identity and down to the very core of awareness, a mind with no way out always stops dead in its tracks. I ask for the guidance of the divine spirits to keep my heart pure and true and to help me maintaining the honour and courage that resides in my heart so that it benefits all. I live and experience for the benefit of others only.
_
2. I just find women so beautiful, the way they walk and talk etc just drives me nuts. Lately I have been experiencing a deep seated love for women that I can only describe as falling in love, there are no other words I can explain it with, its not directed specifically to a person but in general to all women and is endowed with the greatest of respect. I have kept my distance on a few occasions so as not to make a fool of myself and had to sit down and ground myself through meditation. The revelation I see through this meditation is that all you women are showing the beauty and love that shines within and Im simply reflecting it back to you. the trouble is, its very hard to recognise this without becoming attached to the idea of actually doing something about it which is of course lust, desire and generally hankering after something I cant have. In the past I thought I had a genuine chance to 'get my way' which is of course filling ones desires and lusting after women and believe me it hurts to be rejected but a few hard knocks and falls makes all the difference between a spiritual understanding and doing the same mistakes again and again which I experienced as anger and frustration. I was in fact being taught that true love is without boundaries, limitations, and to no particular person but to all and everything. I still hanker for love and respect from other women, I guess its a typical male way of thinking, I dont think it will ever go away but Im in a stronger position to accept the fact that I human with a weakness for female company....from a distance. I am forever humbled
_
3. As you may… or may not know from recent notes I started about falling in love with someone who is already in a relationship. I took quite a long time to ‘control’ my feelings for this beautiful woman with whom I would have and still do so dearly want to spend the rest of my life with…. Without question. I would love to share my experience with you…. On a spiritual note of course.. smile , for the betterment of those who are willing to listen I write this from the bottom of my heart. Now I ask you… what is it about beautiful women who work in petrol stations? I tell you it’s a real heart breaker especially as they all seem to be in some kind of relationship. I fall head over heals in love with them, its quite a crazy feeling, and even now I do not know why I fall for them other than I just do, and no it is not because they are alone and defenceless against my charms, (rolling eyes) I seem to pick women who are quite strong willed and dependant, so what ever charms I may have do not work on them, besides I feel a lot better just creating small talk rather than trying to make an impression that I am someone worth being with… one step at a time eh. I will admit I am a man with needs and that makes me no different to any other man in that department, I am also spiritual by nature so I am subjective (personal) in my approach to ‘falling in love’. I still desire female company, passion and lust are there too, but I will stop and think about it and ask the great but little question ….. why? Im sorry for being direct but honesty is required, I publicly declare it so. These feelings and desires never really go away, they stick around, at first they are so strong they can be literally blindingly overwhelming, I just cant speak, I freeze in front of this person, kinda like stage fright 1000 fold stronger. I can quite easily make stupid comments, and basically make a complete fool of myself, In her eyes she is probably thinking im some crazed baboon which to be honest I wouldn’t blame her. The key to controlling it is to acknowledge your own feelings towards this person there and then and remain as grounded as you can, and if it is necessary smile and walk away. I have to use the petrol station on a weekly basis where this woman works, so I get a lot of chances to ‘observe’ how I feel and why I feel for this person, it’s a huge learning curve believe me, wanting to be with someone and yet holding back on all my Billion year old instincts to be with her, one factor is she has a boyfriend, I don’t see this as a hindrance but a blessing, after all who am I to get in between them, I am on a mission to understand ‘why’ even if I get hurt in the process so I make it clear to the reader this woman and her partner will not be hurt. Only I am experiencing love for this woman She presently has very little or no idea how I feel, if she does I hope it is taken as a compliment.

On a spiritual level she is showing me what I already have within my own heart my own soul, just realising this, lust and passion and desire can be transcended, the idea of being with this woman can then be realised, but this takes time and healing. She will remain in my heart and soul for an eternity, this love will never perish for as long as I live and she will be the last person I will think of when I die she has given so much I wouldn’t know how to ever pay her back for what she has shown to reside in my heart. True love holds no bounds, it has no limits, defys age, it is eternal and everlasting it is not governed by who you are with or with whom you want to be with, A relationship starts and will end but true love will most certainly survive beyond all bonds of friendship I am forever humbled by this beautiful person

4. The cliff edge, North Devon, England

‘One tear represents an ocean of suffering – released’
Heart

I was standing upon the edge of a cliff, half of my feet on teraferma the other half over the edge, the bedrock below me formed upright ridges, it was as if someone had combed the solid bedrock with a giant brush in the direction of the sea, the sea was foaming white as it crashed upon the rocks beneath me, I look to my right and see half a mountain had disappeared into the sea, as I look left and as far as the eye could see was the same jagged and weather torn cliff I stand upon. In the distant horizon over the sea was a huge wind driven storm heading my way, If ever I was at the mercy of nature and alone it was there and then. I like this place, I thought, it was the most remotest part of England I could find, away from people and as far away from anything that resembled light be it in myself or out there somewhere. The wind driven rain is beating strong against my rain soaked body despite the fact I struggled to remain upright tears stream down my face, even the rain couldn’t dispel the tears as they flow from my eyes. I hold no illusion as to what I was doing there in the middle of a storm. I am in love… A love not recognized, in all its totality and utter rawness of expression I hold in my heart what it felt like to be completely and utterly striped of all humanity and dignity, the very core of my being brought to a single point of evolution waiting to be torn apart bit by bit… To whom, you may be asking is this love for, no, I tell you... this love is directed to all and yet no one-person is to behold such beauty, ohhhh how they sleep, ohhh how I wish I could share it. How I give soooooo much of my heart to you sleeping souls, If only what I feel can be known in your heart too, I told no one of my heart wrenching love for you all, I kept it for myself, fear of being accused of things that come from misunderstanding, so here I am on the edge of a precipice asking, waiting, needing….

I raised my hands to the darkening rain soaked sky and angrily demanded I be heard and declared: "If my life means so dam much to you why do you let me suffer so? If love is the only true thing that is the cause of all and everything, then why show me a way to connect with others only to show it cannot be shared? Answer me dam it so I may find peace in my heart." I awaited for an answer, the wind was blowing the rain so hard that each droplet of rain felt like needles on my skin, by now I am soaked to the skin and trembled in the coldness of the darkened sky above me. I again declared: "I stand here before you to answer my question on love and you still show no respect. I tell you now you WILL answer. This kind of love is not presently being recognized in this world, if I am to show it in my heart to others then let there be someone who feels and knows it or I WILL take this one last step forward to return this love to you with the promise that this world will never see this love again"

I again waited, I raised my left foot and finally made up my mind to fall, then at that moment I had an understanding? A voice? In the noise and violence of the storm about me there was a calm and serene tender loving peace in my heart and mind, despite the fact I’m soaked and very cold I’m no longer effected by this and in fact the whole thing seemed surreal

A voice spoke to me and said

‘The universe has an opinion… it speaks to you if you listen to it. Its unwritten words are unspoken yet they can be clearly heard through a state of love and compassion’

With that I stepped back from the cliff edge, I fell to my knees totally and utterly overwhelmed by emotions, trembling, my heart yet still hurtting…. I wept
_

"Physical attraction is the catalyst for the start of true love.
It is transcended to serve all." Heart



5. Before the cliffs I always attached myself to the idea that what I was feeling was a need or desire to be fulfilled by someone else, that if I was in another relationship be it one of companionship or a friend with benefits, they would somehow fulfill such desires, it comes as no surprise that I was competing with other like-minded men out there. In the past I thought I had a genuine chance to 'get my way' which is of course filling ones desires and lusting after women and believe me it hurts to be rejected but a few hard knocks and falls makes all the difference between a spiritual understanding and doing the same mistakes again and again which I experienced as anger and frustration. My mind was ego controlled and the thoughts that came with it were base layered and animalistic, I had to take an extreme measure to come to my senses about love and its true purpose. Since my encounter with the cliff I no longer hurt, I have accepted that there is no longing to be something or someone or to be with or without someone. it is a feeling that gives the impression you are never alone, Yet very real true love is a selfless act. It serves others and I was asked to go through this roller coaster ride so as to learn from my misunderstandings of love and relay this to those who would learn from it


I am a mirror in which you see a reflection of yourself.
Heart


6. I believe words have never really come close to a description of this love. The closest thing to it is like being well and truly in love with someone and ends in a love bound to no one in particular so all and everything is genuinely felt with utter compassion. It certainly starts with a real person you feel much love for, in my case a woman in England who is already taken so I could not go that one step further, being spiritually minded I took the next best option…. To learn from it. This woman was mimicking what is already there inside me, it is easy to mistake it for a material love based on a need or desire to be with someone, it takes guts and pure honesty to break away from this distorted view of the mind, this of course really hurts, the mind wants something it can’t have so conflicting views and inner wars are just as real as those seen around the world. Take away the wants the needs and desires and you are left with nothing but your own striped down version of self-awareness, if a material conditional love is not given to another it must find another way to manifest then you have no choice but to turn that love within. When you do, you free yourself to an endless boundless compassion and love that no woman’s love can compare too, it doesn’t even come close to a comparison.


The wisdom I received when I was on the cliff edge is like the universe has acknowledged the love I have inside my heart and like a mirror reflects it straight back to me saying ‘I love you too." This love is four-fold in its nature,

1, I am expressing this love to evolve spiritually
2. I lead by example so that others may, if they wish, follow
3, I live and experience the present moment for the benefit of others only, not just for myself, so that you may never have to feel the hurt and suffering I went through
4, I you do then know your not alone

It is a universal truth that may either tear you apart bit by bit till you are stripped of all but the bare truth of understanding (which is neither good nor bad) or if you prefer accept that the unconditional love that resides within us all as limitless, boundless, freeing and very, very beautiful. My biggest weakness is a love from a woman’s heart to express the same boundless truth as I, it is also my greatest strength and that strength comes from the very bottom of my heart and deep from the very essence that is deeply spiritual and beyond all physical attraction. It is certainly open to misinterpretation for which I fully accept all opinion as a matter of fact according to those who read this and their perspectives, just remember, what you see in me is a reflection of the love you have within yourself, how you respond is based on how you would act if you were also there with me on the cliff edge


What happens next? when all that is known of the heart of love has made you wide open to unlimited potential. You have gone through immense amounts of heartfelt pain overcoming a rollercoaster ride of emotional upheaval? For what and why? I could probably bet you are still searching... for something, right? I could also hazard a guess that you know about Twin Flames? Soul Mates? The natural evolution of love is for it to Transend you above and beyond the physical planes of existence, to learn about how time and distance are illusions how we are all one and connected as such by energy. this energy is not seeable by the naked eye or heard by those ears of yours. It is felt and known by a universal understanding of love. The intensity of this love is beyond all forms of a physical relationship, holds no boundary’s has no limits, does not judge or hold to account your actions, has no moral or ethical compass unless you want it too, will cross all boundary’s man made or natural, yet it does have a very hard lesson to give, while you may freely express it to anyone with anything in any way you like, it is like a razor sharp two edged sword and should if not taken with a careful step come with an instruction manual with all the warnings

[Heart]

I apologise for the lengthy post above, If I could give three words to describe all of the above it would be this....


I am humbled

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by heart

I am regularly asked if what Lynn and I is doing is cheating before we became married to each other, to which I have numerously replied NO, its not a form of cheating, in as much as it seems like it is to others. it-is-not,...l

Heart...
Who are those people asking the "cheating question"? especially, after all these years?
Only both of your ex partners/spouses should care if you two were cheating behind their backs.
Otherwise, it is none of other people's business.
To those who do not believe in TF, it does not matter how much you try to explain to justify it to them.
So, just let it go and be happy with Lynn, your now wife.
What is done is done. You don't need to explain and to keep justifying it any more.
Those people need to get a life of their own, really...

[Heart]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Heart...
Who are those people asking the "cheating question"? especially, after all these years?
Only both of your ex partners/spouses should care if you two were cheating behind their backs.
Otherwise, it is none of other people's business.
To those who do not believe in TF, it does not matter how much you try to explain to justify it to them.
So, just let it go and be happy with Lynn, your now wife.
What is done is done. You don't need to explain and to keep justifying it any more.
Those people need to get a life of their own, really...

oh,,, pretty much anyone I spoke to about TFs and SMs back then said it was all nonsence and as a married man I should be ashamed of myself... lol looking back, I was trying to explain how I met Lynn online on a site called SFhow we can connect over huge distances feel and know each others issues, how we are in realityall connected,

who I explained this too incoorectly assumed I was connected to them in some perverted way let, one assumed without a shadow of a doubt I was cheating yet somehow agreed that there was energy between us he could not explain, so to find out more he himself cheated on his long standing wife.... I repeatedly told him ITS NOT PHISICAL ITS SPIRITUAL, end one relationship first before you embark upon another and only if its the right thing to do

Both Lynn and I skyped in front of both our families for all to see, no hiding behind closed doors even them both our exs still told there friends what we were doing and still classed it as internet sex!!! you cant avoid ignorance in others points of view unless they change there perception... good luck doing that

even as recent a 2015 when we both divorced our ex partners, we were still misunderstood, there is no proof of our eloping or any sexual activity that was proved or recorded you cant,,,, it is the ENERGY behind these connections that is beyond both manmade and natural laws of engadgemen


I am very happy with Lynn but I must share parts of our journey that also involves the hurdles it took us to be together, If I dont write about it I will never know if what we experienced is just us, a one off only we experienced, or if someone else here has, is, or will be going through these accusations, plus I need to express the hurt as well as the bliss of TF and SMs in a balanced manor.... divinity explicity aid so to me because its the energy BEHIND the accusations that needsto be addressed not the words or expressions of those who do not understand do not care about TF or SM connections and how to disolve

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by heart

oh,,, pretty much anyone I spoke to about TFs and SMs back then said it was all nonsence and as a married man I should be ashamed of myself... lol looking back, I was trying to explain how I met Lynn online on a site called SFhow we can connect over huge distances feel and know each others issues, how we are in realityall connected,

who I explained this too incoorectly assumed I was connected to them in some perverted way let, one assumed without a shadow of a doubt I was cheating yet somehow agreed that there was energy between us he could not explain, so to find out more he himself cheated on his long standing wife.... I repeatedly told him ITS NOT PHISICAL ITS SPIRITUAL, end one relationship first before you embark upon another and only if its the right thing to do

Both Lynn and I skyped in front of both our families for all to see, no hiding behind closed doors even them both our exs still told there friends what we were doing and still classed it as internet sex!!! you cant avoid ignorance in others points of view unless they change there perception... good luck doing that

even as recent a 2015 when we both divorced our ex partners, we were still misunderstood, there is no proof of our eloping or any sexual activity that was proved or recorded you cant,,,, it is the ENERGY behind these connections that is beyond both manmade and natural laws of engadgemen


I am very happy with Lynn but I must share parts of our journey that also involves the hurdles it took us to be together, If I dont write about it I will never know if what we experienced is just us, a one off only we experienced, or if someone else here has, is, or will be going through these accusations, plus I need to express the hurt as well as the bliss of TF and SMs in a balanced manor.... divinity explicity aid so to me because its the energy BEHIND the accusations that needsto be addressed not the words or expressions of those who do not understand do not care about TF or SM connections and how to disolve

i didn't know about the topic of TFs until I came here, a few years ago. But had had the whole experience many years before that so I recognized what was being talked about.

anyhow I just 'knew' at the time I was going through it that if I talked about what I was going through I would get exactly what you got in terms of all the negativity. So I was always stifling it sigh... I don't know which is worse, having to hold it in or getting washed away in other's negativity... I suppose after all this I'm just as glad I kept people at bay though.

[Tortoise Walks]

Hi Heart,

You have an amazing story of love expressed in your relational, spiritual and divine journey. I am happy you are here to share your wisdom with everyone.

I have some lengthy thoughts in response. I hope you don't mind my sharing. Cheating is a topic of interest to me as it has played a role in my life and it is so, so charged.

Some folks feel a need/desire to judge... as if it is the only "proper" or "spiritually enlightened" way to determine what path they shall follow... to get to____? Also creates a built-in simple approval/disapproval system for/from self or others. In your response to me... you created a scale of Love's intent and how cheating a partner is immeasurably worse (WRT Love's intent) than well a lot. I still sense the projected judgment towards those who cheat... while being comforted in knowing that you didn't "cheat" per your own parameters and how you don't appreciate being "judged" by others as a "cheater" according to their parameters.

Is it impossible to consider that "cheating" for some IS the path to discover Love's intent in some way? It is part of our society. Why? What do people get out of it? Why "cheat" others when you are at risk for some very, very, uncomfortable consequences? I don't think most people "cheat" to intentionally hurt their partners. (If they do it is beyond my discussion ATM.) They "cheat" to fulfill something within themselves that is so compelling and rewarding such that it feels like a need that isn't yet acknowledged/addressed/within reach. Even if it is sexual expression. Sexual expression is also a part of the human experience for many. Is it even possible that the motivation for cheating is for love of self or others? We cheat ourselves because of our love for others... We cheat others in order to love ourselves... Or so we believe at the time...

The "cheating" can actually be the action needed to catalyze a person out of stagnation into the next step of self-awareness and possibly towards closer alignment because the dissonance is seen (no longer in the dark) and can now be worked with and integrated. It is Change... Perhaps the order of operations look and feel different... Perhaps some folks know the algebra needed to arrange things more "properly" for desired/aligned changes and some folks stumble through the affected numbers/emotional data given with little finesse or skill... you don't know what you don't yet know...

I understand the heartache and pain associated with being "cheated". And the "gift" (mmhmmmm) of being "cheated" as the spark to my own self awareness and how I was "cheating" myself in many ways. Reflections right... I no longer hold deep reserved judgment against those who find themselves in "cheating" situations. However I choose how to best to move forward for me, knowing what I know, with people in my life. Mainly, I go by the idea that I can only change myself. And perhaps share my experiences and ask questions if there is openness.

Having go-to judgments and rules to follow can make life easier... yes. Simplified wrong/right actions with little room for gray areas...

There is a lot of focus on cheating others (particularly in relationships) yet cheating self in silence... No problem... It is not really a hot topic to discuss if it even remotely negatively influences another or causes discomfort... or growing pains... especially for our life partners. Almost like not cheating another is MORE IMPORTANT than not cheating oneself from the discovery of truth in order to uphold and perpetuate a false reality for those around you. To satisfy the judgment of self, partners, onlookers... How do we not cheat anybody and move past it altogether?

If someone wants to dedicate/give their life entirely in service to others - even at one's own expense, consciously. As a loving vow... that is wonderful and I'm sure meaningful. However, I don't think it is a reasonable expectation/desire for most people. In fact... I feel it can potentially lead to lack of fulfillment... joy... and built-up resentment and a lack of authenticity that begets more of the same through social templating - in families and communities. As a person who does enjoy being of service to others... I've learned that, for myself, there has to be a balance between giving/receiving. If I am not open to receiving it is really hard to be fully abundant in giving/sharing my service with others.

Along my journey.. with my relationships... I have set aside expectations I never imagined I could... The difficulty with various TF and SM connections is that they are often not allowed to be expressed. Period. By Self or others... If we are already (happily enough) married... it is frequently too confusingly intimate for the comfort of our partners. While not "cheating" anyone with sexual actions... soul intimacy and shared energy connection can be experienced which is frequently beyond the approval, understanding, and acceptance of our partners, friends, other bystanders.

It's not the exclusive happily ever after dream that was imagined... and promised once upon a time. Who knew?

The way I see it is that many may continue to "cheat" themselves/others until better skills are learned and embodied and until our life partnerships grow wide enough to welcome the possibility of soul connections as they enter into our lives in some form or another with compassion and "compersion" (feeling joy over our partner's joyfully connecting with another - a term that I learned with husband (DH) while investigating polyamory). And having loving intent for everyone involved. Please note that stagnation in being a chronic doormat or abuser in life is not in the scope of this writing. I am speaking of making messy "improper" steps towards self knowing and awareness by transitioning and maybe stumbling THROUGH "cheating" to discover who you are and living authentically.

The SC I write about most here, for me, is definitely not exclusively platonic at an energetic level. It would be a lot easier if it were, hah :-D It's just not how the dynamic and the connection flows. Doesn't mean it's not innocent either... despite what others may believe or say. While we can choose how to interact... on the surface. And we do (if only a continual balancing act towards inner alignment). Or we can endeavor to block and shut off parts of ourselves to "simplify things"... it would be like viewing/cutting off the tip of an ice burg above the surface of the water and thinking you've got the full picture of it or nipped the whole thing in the bud.

Divine intervention may definitely happen... what will be will be... all I can do is trust myself to connect with my heart with whatever comes my way in the now as well as accept the consequences of my steps and any missteps of myself or others. The love is felt with or without SC tangibly in my life as it is in my own heart just as you say. However, I won't hang up on him if he calls me to say hi... you know... to appease others... if in my heart I really would love to talk with him. It's not for me to judge him, make rules for him, and decide what he should do. I will also respect, love, and take care of myself as this is my responsibility.

Part of the journey for me has been (even before "meeting" SC) leaning in courageously to what source/my soul/heart is sharing with me and guiding me towards without expectations and clinging to outcomes. In Love. Exposing my own judgements. Asking if I am acting in fear or in love and joy at root. And maybe picking myself up if I wobble off key for a bit...

I relate to being stripped down to the core... it is from there I learned deep forgiveness. of self and others. compassion like I never knew before - even as a long time people-pleaser. how to walk again. love without limitations. trust myself. my heart. divinely renewed... So for me being "cheated" was in my experience... divine intervention pointing me in a more aligned and embodied direction of whole hearted love within and without.

As for getting something out of my connection with SC or any others... that is not my motivation. I still may benefit and grow in amazing ways... With much bliss and joy. the resonant energies. the peace. I appreciate each moment "shared". I'd even say I am improving as a more self aware partner to DH, parent for my kids, and through all of this... I don't require my loved ones to fill my needs. They give to me what they choose to freely give. As do I. Now more capable and abundant within my heart.

Thank you,

TW

[Heart]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

i didn't know about the topic of TFs until I came here, a few years ago. But had had the whole experience many years before that so I recognized what was being talked about.

anyhow I just 'knew' at the time I was going through it that if I talked about what I was going through I would get exactly what you got in terms of all the negativity. So I was always stifling it sigh... I don't know which is worse, having to hold it in or getting washed away in other's negativity... I suppose after all this I'm just as glad I kept people at bay though.

If I didnt try to explain these connections I would still be struggling to find the words to describe it now so in all of the accusations it created I was also given the chance to express it in words

I talked myself into deeper understandings, I was also drawn to the cliff edge because it "appeared" that no one alive was seeing and hearing the love in my heart... this is why on this forum I am called Heart to remember how hard it is to feel so alone in these connections for lack of understanding and respect from others whos conditioned minds were focused on conventional ideas of what a relationships entails

[Heart]

Originally Posted by Tortoise Walks

Hi Heart,

You have an amazing story of love expressed in your relational, spiritual and divine journey. I am happy you are here to share your wisdom with everyone.

I have some lengthy thoughts in response. I hope you don't mind my sharing. Cheating is a topic of interest to me as it has played a role in my life and it is so, so charged.

Some folks feel a need/desire to judge... as if it is the only "proper" or "spiritually enlightened" way to determine what path they shall follow... to get to____? Also creates a built-in simple approval/disapproval system for/from self or others. In your response to me... you created a scale of Love's intent and how cheating a partner is immeasurably worse (WRT Love's intent) than well a lot. I still sense the projected judgment towards those who cheat... while being comforted in knowing that you didn't "cheat" per your own parameters and how you don't appreciate being "judged" by others as a "cheater" according to their parameters.

Is it impossible to consider that "cheating" for some IS the path to discover Love's intent in some way? It is part of our society. Why? What do people get out of it? Why "cheat" others when you are at risk for some very, very, uncomfortable consequences? I don't think most people "cheat" to intentionally hurt their partners. (If they do it is beyond my discussion ATM.) They "cheat" to fulfill something within themselves that is so compelling and rewarding such that it feels like a need that isn't yet acknowledged/addressed/within reach. Even if it is sexual expression. Sexual expression is also a part of the human experience for many. Is it even possible that the motivation for cheating is for love of self or others? We cheat ourselves because of our love for others... We cheat others in order to love ourselves... Or so we believe at the time...

The "cheating" can actually be the action needed to catalyze a person out of stagnation into the next step of self-awareness and possibly towards closer alignment because the dissonance is seen (no longer in the dark) and can now be worked with and integrated. It is Change... Perhaps the order of operations look and feel different... Perhaps some folks know the algebra needed to arrange things more "properly" for desired/aligned changes and some folks stumble through the affected numbers/emotional data given with little finesse or skill... you don't know what you don't yet know...

I understand the heartache and pain associated with being "cheated". And the "gift" (mmhmmmm) of being "cheated" as the spark to my own self awareness and how I was "cheating" myself in many ways. Reflections right... I no longer hold deep reserved judgment against those who find themselves in "cheating" situations. However I choose how to best to move forward for me, knowing what I know, with people in my life. Mainly, I go by the idea that I can only change myself. And perhaps share my experiences and ask questions if there is openness.

Having go-to judgments and rules to follow can make life easier... yes. Simplified wrong/right actions with little room for gray areas...

There is a lot of focus on cheating others (particularly in relationships) yet cheating self in silence... No problem... It is not really a hot topic to discuss if it even remotely negatively influences another or causes discomfort... or growing pains... especially for our life partners. Almost like not cheating another is MORE IMPORTANT than not cheating oneself from the discovery of truth in order to uphold and perpetuate a false reality for those around you. To satisfy the judgment of self, partners, onlookers... How do we not cheat anybody and move past it altogether?

If someone wants to dedicate/give their life entirely in service to others - even at one's own expense, consciously. As a loving vow... that is wonderful and I'm sure meaningful. However, I don't think it is a reasonable expectation/desire for most people. In fact... I feel it can potentially lead to lack of fulfillment... joy... and built-up resentment and a lack of authenticity that begets more of the same through social templating - in families and communities. As a person who does enjoy being of service to others... I've learned that, for myself, there has to be a balance between giving/receiving. If I am not open to receiving it is really hard to be fully abundant in giving/sharing my service with others.

Along my journey.. with my relationships... I have set aside expectations I never imagined I could... The difficulty with various TF and SM connections is that they are often not allowed to be expressed. Period. By Self or others... If we are already (happily enough) married... it is frequently too confusingly intimate for the comfort of our partners. While not "cheating" anyone with sexual actions... soul intimacy and shared energy connection can be experienced which is frequently beyond the approval, understanding, and acceptance of our partners, friends, other bystanders.

It's not the exclusive happily ever after dream that was imagined... and promised once upon a time. Who knew?

The way I see it is that many may continue to "cheat" themselves/others until better skills are learned and embodied and until our life partnerships grow wide enough to welcome the possibility of soul connections as they enter into our lives in some form or another with compassion and "compersion" (feeling joy over our partner's joyfully connecting with another - a term that I learned with husband (DH) while investigating polyamory). And having loving intent for everyone involved. Please note that stagnation in being a chronic doormat or abuser in life is not in the scope of this writing. I am speaking of making messy "improper" steps towards self knowing and awareness by transitioning and maybe stumbling THROUGH "cheating" to discover who you are and living authentically.

The SC I write about most here, for me, is definitely not exclusively platonic at an energetic level. It would be a lot easier if it were, hah :-D It's just not how the dynamic and the connection flows. Doesn't mean it's not innocent either... despite what others may believe or say. While we can choose how to interact... on the surface. And we do (if only a continual balancing act towards inner alignment). Or we can endeavor to block and shut off parts of ourselves to "simplify things"... it would be like viewing/cutting off the tip of an ice burg above the surface of the water and thinking you've got the full picture of it or nipped the whole thing in the bud.

Divine intervention may definitely happen... what will be will be... all I can do is trust myself to connect with my heart with whatever comes my way in the now as well as accept the consequences of my steps and any missteps of myself or others. The love is felt with or without SC tangibly in my life as it is in my own heart just as you say. However, I won't hang up on him if he calls me to say hi... you know... to appease others... if in my heart I really would love to talk with him. It's not for me to judge him, make rules for him, and decide what he should do. I will also respect, love, and take care of myself as this is my responsibility.

Part of the journey for me has been (even before "meeting" SC) leaning in courageously to what source/my soul/heart is sharing with me and guiding me towards without expectations and clinging to outcomes. In Love. Exposing my own judgements. Asking if I am acting in fear or in love and joy at root. And maybe picking myself up if I wobble off key for a bit...

I relate to being stripped down to the core... it is from there I learned deep forgiveness. of self and others. compassion like I never knew before - even as a long time people-pleaser. how to walk again. love without limitations. trust myself. my heart. divinely renewed... So for me being "cheated" was in my experience... divine intervention pointing me in a more aligned and embodied direction of whole hearted love within and without.

As for getting something out of my connection with SC or any others... that is not my motivation. I still may benefit and grow in amazing ways... With much bliss and joy. the resonant energies. the peace. I appreciate each moment "shared". I'd even say I am improving as a more self aware partner to DH, parent for my kids, and through all of this... I don't require my loved ones to fill my needs. They give to me what they choose to freely give. As do I. Now more capable and abundant within my heart.

Thank you,

TW

Phisical attraction is the cataliyst for understanding the art of true love, it is also a stepping stone to something very much greater, if we are infatuated with the idea of being with and cheating with someone we would otherwise walk on by then we are stuck on that stepping stone and instead of a catalyst we stagnate in one spot over the energy behind cheating

I wrote this years ago and way before I met Lynn just to talk my way through the upheaval in my heart and stop me from the potential to cheat, I was praying on a daily basis to keep my heart true these are the very words that helped me do that...



1. I have fallen in love... with someone who has already been taken. In seeing this I direct all my love to all and everything. If I cant be with one person I will be with those who can read my heart like an open book, I ask for the guidance of the divine spirits to keep my heart pure and true and to help me maintaining the honor and courage that resides in my heart so that it benefits all I live and experience for the benefit of others only

Fear
2. I would be deceiving myself if I said I had no fear of true love, I would be more inclined to say I respect this emotion greatly, this respect is for the other person who has opened up my heart, I fear being hurt and rejected, I fear that I will become numb to my senses where I am forced to control my emotions and hide them, I fear it may turn to lust, want, and need, Please I ask you universe have mercy on my heart

Forgiveness
3. I forgive this beautiful woman I love for showing me the light that shines so bright in my heart, I forgive my self for wanting and needing and expressing a lustful desire to be with this woman I am but human expressing something I don't quite yet understand, I ask for forgiveness if I have so much as given her the wrong impression and if she feels like I am asking for too much
5219
healing
4. As you read this and feel you have a need to be a part of this healing process then you may do so, I will only allow purity love and virtue to enter my heart, all else must bide there time and awaken. I am at present hurting, this hurt is like a wound that has been infected by thousands of years of wanting and desiring and not getting, it has largely been ignored until this lovely woman I so dearly want to be with has opened up this wound and is presently showing me this infection. I will be healed just as my body heals itself when it is damaged. I will face this infection and start the healing process
Responsibility
5. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between a right action and a wrong one when you are blinded by loves power, you can easily say or do something stupid but I do take full responsibility for all my actions whether I stumble and fall on this path or not, it is easy to run and hide from an action that you had not expected to take responsibility for. I therefore accept that what ever I do in the name of true love I take full responsibility for it

Action
6. I am already in a state of love, I act only in the name of true love, divine is the source of this love, I am the vehicle from which this love emanates, I cannot have this love or hold and keep this love, I can give you this love and allow it to be expressed freely, from it we all become one

Humor
7. I can say for sure, if you want to loose weight, improve your posture, loose body fat, have a toned body............... Fall-in-love....Its free and natural. LOL

Acceptance
This has been a trying few weeks on an emotional basis, I accept the fact that I cant be with this person I so much love, I accept and put all my trust in the guardian angels as they work on a higher level, while I have pleaded with all my heart for a companionship with this person, I fully accept the present moment as a gift..... Namaste

[57tcjc75]

@ Heart, love your OP. I like your "sun" analogy. Too much not good but just enough is key. Too, agreed that in these connections it is a lesson in higher dimension love. How does one hold onto.. spirit self, literal, is not possible.

I have grown So Much in these connections. With orig. t.f. I matured greatly in my understanding of, love. I learned to love Everyone. I cannot, not love.
The connection I am around now, even though we are not talking very often (which I just do not have the time or energy to do so), he says same thing, he cannot, not love.
Maybe it's like a butterfly too, they flit about, here & there.. beautiful but they are free, to be.