Little nugget to share

[sunflwrdanzr]

I realized yesterday that I really gotta guard, watch my thoughts about TF, our situation. Perception is reality and I am a firm believer in how both negative and positive thoughts have an effect on what happens. I just realized sometimes my thoughts of lack, of oh he'll just stay with his gf forever, fears or worries about everything cause some of the push and pull, distance. Anyway, just wanted to share for others feeling similar.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by sunflwrdanzr

of oh he'll just stay with his gf forever

Good thoughts about positive/negative thoughts, always important to keep in mind. I guess my question is why are thoughts of his relationship with his girlfriend, in your thoughts at all? Think of it: How would you feel knowing your boyfriend was seeing another woman, and that she was thinking about him with you, and how it might be different if he was with her, etc. You wouldn't feel good about that, would you? You'd feel betrayed. In fact you'd be so angry and upset about it, you'd want to strangle her, or him, or both.

It's not about thinking positive or negative thoughts at that point. It's about respecting what they have as a couple. That's your moral responsiblity, to ensure you're not causing conflict or disturbance in their relationship via your thoughts about them. Straight up, you shouldn't be thinking about them period. And personally I don't see how that's even possible. Unless you've told her about you. Then there's a chance everybody can just enjoy what they have, with whom they have it, and be happy with that. It's the real and actual stuff -- the kept-secrets and covert meetings -- that causes the conflict and damage. What we think about is way down the list from that.

what is supposed to happen or what you want to happen will happen in the fastest manor when you’re focused on only you.

When you’re in alignment with yourself fully your life will unfold exactly how you need and never imagined.

But this thinking of the past and worrying about the future is like throwing a wrench in the motor while doing 80 on the freeway. It creates problems that need to be overcome. Lessons that need to be learned

Just focus on you and your well being. How happy are you with yourself? How much do you love you? Do you love what you do? Decide what you want not who you want and you’ll get exactly that but not in the way you expect. That’s the key is not to figure out how you will get it.

If you want the perfect match your “twin” than be that for yourself. View you the way you want them to view you and they will show up.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by sunflwrdanzr

I realized yesterday that I really gotta guard, watch my thoughts about TF, our situation. Perception is reality and I am a firm believer in how both negative and positive thoughts have an effect on what happens. I just realized sometimes my thoughts of lack, of oh he'll just stay with his gf forever, fears or worries about everything cause some of the push and pull, distance. Anyway, just wanted to share for others feeling similar.

I understand exactly what you mean. I tend to do the same thing.

For me I struggle with the reality of the situation (he's with his girlfriend) and I don't want to delude myself into thinking otherwise and having faith that things will go as they are destined to, whether he stays with her or not.

When I focus on myself and on the positives of the friendship with him, things go a lot better between he and I.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Baile

Good thoughts about positive/negative thoughts, always important to keep in mind. I guess my question is why are thoughts of his relationship with his girlfriend, in your thoughts at all? Think of it: How would you feel knowing your boyfriend was seeing another woman, and that she was thinking about him with you, and how it might be different if he was with her, etc. You wouldn't feel good about that, would you? You'd feel betrayed. In fact you'd be so angry and upset about it, you'd want to strangle her, or him, or both.

It's not about thinking positive or negative thoughts at that point. It's about respecting what they have as a couple. That's your moral responsiblity, to ensure you're not causing conflict or disturbance in their relationship via your thoughts about them. Straight up, you shouldn't be thinking about them period. And personally I don't see how that's even possible. Unless you've told her about you. Then there's a chance everybody can just enjoy what they have, with whom they have it, and be happy with that. It's the real and actual stuff -- the kept-secrets and covert meetings -- that causes the conflict and damage. What we think about is way down the list from that.

My thoughts exactly.
Basically you are hoping that two other people get hurt so you can be happy?
Wow... And you also say you feel love for your TF? And you care about him? Really???
Seems more like you care about you and you feeling good, or not. Basically you care about you. Not him. That's ego, selfish, not love, and it's not particularly respectful.
If you truly cared about him you'd respect his choices and him not being with you and clearly not wanting to be with you. And you'd respect his love for and relationship with the woman he loves.
Move on. Get a life. Focus on other things. Hoping for your personal happiness based on other people's hurt & pain is not pretty.
Stop putting your life on hold, let go, get over it, move on and find love with a man who's available and wanting to be with you.

[ForgedInFire]

I'm truly amazed at how such judgments are made by some here based on the very short wording of the OP.

Oh projections projections my my.. how members do try to hide behind cloaks of spirituality. And yet all they do is reveal their true intentions of projecting their own issues onto others.

Forum crabs. Those who tear down at others and never uplift them..

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

I'm truly amazed at how such judgments are made by some here based on the very short wording of the OP.

Oh projections projections my my.. how members do try to hide behind cloaks of spirituality. And yet all they do is reveal their true intentions of projecting their own issues onto others.

Forum crabs. Those who tear down at others and never uplift them..

They remind me to make sure I’m not doing just that. Because I’ve been there. And I’m sure I’m there about something I’m currently learning but can’t see.. Lord knows I need that type of understanding when I’m oblivious to myself.

[heartsound]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

I'm truly amazed at how such judgments are made by some here based on the very short wording of the OP.

Oh projections projections my my.. how members do try to hide behind cloaks of spirituality. And yet all they do is reveal their true intentions of projecting their own issues onto others.

Forum crabs. Those who tear down at others and never uplift them..

i thought comments were insensitive myself.....

I remember the dancing photograph she posted of herself & her ex husband ....she clearly shares a special connection with the person.. it doesnt matter if your not together in this life time as a silly couple .. the love you have for the father of your children is eternal

.. however...I agree to best focus on self love for now... wish you best..Sun

[Guitarflame]

Good vibes always x

[T.L.M.]

Yeah a bit insensitive I'd say.