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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 12-09-2018, 09:18 PM
Realm Ki Realm Ki is offline
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What is grief?

So, I have a fairly clear concept of life and life after death, considering I/we cannot possibly know. (I've had enough contact w spirits and loved ones to feel confident).

We are one, but also separate souls - that incarnate here for various reasons. We can know each other since before, meet a loved soul in passing, or get to work together for a life time.

Since we are on some level always one, and always together even though we are seemingly separated here - I've had easier grieving process than some. But I still grieve. It's physical.

I got to think of this today as I passed a man I know, who owns a beautiful golden retriever. We've greeted only a handful of times with my dog, but this lady and I we loved each other. She would sit down when she saw me at a distance, the owner would just have to wait til I hit there, and then the lady dog would sing to me <3

She would just talk and sing of how happy she was to be together again, I'd talk back, and feel so connected and so much love. From day one I knew I knew her from before, a dear trusted friend...!

She was old, and I had thought that it had been a while since I saw her. Today I saw the owner - without his dog, which never happens - and I knew for sure then that she was gone.

And here is the thing:

The realization hit me like a pang to my heart, airvsucked out of me, heart breaking, pain. Just pain.

What do you guys think that is?

When we incarnate do we get some kind of physical attachment - like the invisible cord in The Golden Compass - to other incarnated souls that we've connected with?

Why does the leaving the 'earth realm' of a soul that I love - but that I really had very limited contact with, in this realm, compared to on soul level or in other incarnation incarnations... Why would it pain me - as a first response before thought or anything.

She's gone. Argh, pain!

Is it because she is now lost to me til she incarnates a again - and I find her?

But it felt like it was a real, dimensional thing - that the jump between modes of existance, like my awareness of her jump was the key to cutting something over...


OK, what theories are there out there?

Have you exprerienced grief? How did you handle it?
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And we turn our attention to the world, not away. We receive our learning from the songs it sings and the choir of One we're all in.

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Soaking in life, we spread the light <3
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  #2  
Old 12-09-2018, 09:40 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Grief is a very personal thing everybody is different so how they grieve will be different also.
there are also stages of grief they all have to be gone through before you can come out of it. grief brings with it Anger.

I have lost so much in my life and the grief is always different.i am a counsellor and I know how much talking helps some people. some people are ready and keen to talk about what they have been through. others are not.that is why I say its a personal thing.how grief affects one person does not mean that it affects everyone.


Namaste
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  #3  
Old 12-09-2018, 10:04 PM
Empowers Empowers is offline
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I have experienced being me to my knees grief for a very long time. I still feel it sometimes, just not for as long.

There seems to be no philosophy or belief that removes this process, that I have found. And it is surprising sometimes, when we feel it. I've felt it for people who I barely knew but they somehow touched my life.

After years of pondering and feeling, my best theory is that we believe we've lost connection to a piece of existence that created a meaningful experience for us and leaves that hole in us when they go. And, even if we have faith in an afterlife, they are physically gone so whether we can connect to them, the way that we're used to is forever changed.
I know of people who mourn their loved one and yet have direct connection to their spirit.

I truly think that because we are physical beings, our physical sense must be disturbed at the loss of a physical companion on this journey.

Think about if they were going away in space and were going to be safe for the rest of their years but you would never see them again. Saying goodbye would still be horribly hard. The knowledge that they are safe elsewhere just helps intellectually at first. Later, it may comfort, but it wouldn't ease my pain of loss.

Abraham from Ester Hicks tells us that negative emotion is us believing the opposite of the truth. So if we feel grief it's because we believe that we will never be in contact with that loved one again. I say, we are physical so it is natural. And then it manifests how it does for each person.

Just my thoughts.
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Old 13-09-2018, 02:12 AM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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I feel for what you wrote, Empowers.

Yes even when we know -perhaps by personal experience -that loved ones are safe in the next world and even when we know for sure they still love us very much, there can still be some grieving.
Yes we do miss their physical presence. We miss them in "our world" ! We can also be grieving -not only for their presence -but for life as it was at the time they were here with us. We don't just "lose" a friend/family member, we lose that part of our lives too.

But I have explored grief, and found the emotions of grieving to not necessarily be "negative emotions" at all. Of course, that differs from person to person, so I can't say that with one big sweeping statement. Nothing is black or white.
But sometimes parts of the grieving process can actually put us into closer contact with our Souls. Sometimes we feel so much that the ego based Self steps back and allows something deeper to shine.

In my own experience of grief (early stage) I entered a tremendous stillness. Nothing else mattered. I was grateful of course, to be utterly alone at that time, to allow that to happen, as it happened naturally. That stillness in itself put me in closer touch with my own Soul which was graceful.
So no....grief isn't always about "negative emotions".

As for crying, missing a loved one, struggling to adjust, having "melt-down" times, then getting back on your feet again....well I think that is a normal process (though difficult) And those things have no time limit. Even when we know for sure the loved one still lives in Spirit and still loves us very much.
We are raggedy Beings. There is no shame in that...but we can still shine with a little light at times.
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  #5  
Old 13-09-2018, 02:24 AM
Empowers Empowers is offline
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Tobi, I completely agree. Both to grieving the loss of the world as once you knew it to finding grace, strength, community-sometimes, humility and humanity.

It is so natural but yet we, as a society, are afraid of letting it Be whatever it needs to be.
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  #6  
Old 14-09-2018, 03:56 PM
dream jo dream jo is offline
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greif can be very painfil esply wen u i miss persn
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  #7  
Old 14-09-2018, 10:40 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Grief can hit you out of the Blue.you could be doing something when you hear or see something when it suddenly grabs you. grief is a process in which we all go through some cry straight away others don't.
when I lost my husband it was Anger that drove me on I wanted justice for the wrong doings that happened. I didn't stop fighting it took me 4 years of fighting but I got justice.everyone thought I would just cry a river afterwards. but I didn't.that is why I say grief is different for everyone

Namaste
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  #8  
Old 14-09-2018, 10:45 PM
dream jo dream jo is offline
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yes even tv can set u off it can
or a posterr on wall off any stoewss or bus or trainn stasonss it can
evn adss on tv
i remberr i wz on a bus i wz all of sudenn i cud feal tearss on me i had to get off bus i did
i no lot thngs sets us of it duz still duz on me it duz 6 hrf yrs aftr my dadsa passsinn it still setss me off
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  #9  
Old 15-09-2018, 04:23 AM
soulforce soulforce is offline
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Basically what I can say from experience is that grief is really love from a distance - I'm not sure if that makes any sense. It's also a reminder that we are spiritual beings of love. When we lose that connection: physical or spiritual, our soul is trying to come to grips with that loss. We go through episodes of breaking down, and searching for answers. What we are really looking for is to find the person or friend that we lost. Our spirit is calling out to them, "come to me, I need to hear from you". The spirit responds, and the sensation is different than being able to experience them when they were alive. Our response is to remember them. Our heart chakra actually becomes very active as it builds new connections with the crossed over loved one, and you will feel it in your chest. The old saying "a broken heart", refers to the stimulated heart chakra. It's a deep emotional pang in your chest. It feels like your heart is throbbing, and it releases a lot of emotions which is why we cry or break down suddenly at the thought of them. That emotion is simply your connection with the deceased loved one being reestablished. It's their way of letting you know they are with you and loving you intensely.

When you begin to accept it and heal, your other chakras start to join in, and you will start to experience through them other sensory connections like dreams. Each one (chakra) will open up new kinds of feelings. We need to grieve when we lose a loved one. It's the start of reconnecting with our loved one in the spirit world. In the end you will have greater understanding and appreciation for their life and yours. Your life will change, and become lighter and wiser - although you will always feel that sadness you will start to feel joy again, and you can connect psychically to your loved one at any time. We call that the alchemy marriage.
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