First time telling this, difficult...

Hey blueIce, this is hard for me to say as well; the last thing any of us want is to expose our weaknesses; especially to some we don't know. Here goes anyway… I had reached a crisis point at the age 21. My life was in turmoil and I knew I was going to die this day; whether it be physical, or my understanding of everything I knew to be real. I was living within walking distance from the beach at the time. So here I am it’s 2 in the morning standing on the shoreline contemplating which direction to walk. I think you know what I mean. At this point after 2 hours of crying I drop to my knees and began screaming. “SOMEONE HELP ME!!! PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, PLEASE HELP ME!!!” I know I said this for 30 minutes or more; I had no idea who I was talking to, and I didn’t care. I just wanted this emotional pain to go away. Well, it was very faint at first but I heard a voice; exactly the way you describe it, “I am here, go home now and rest”. Swear to God, That night was the best night sleep I had in years! At first I thought it was my mind just talking to itself. But I would have these conversations that were much too intelligent then to come from me. And yes, I went through many years thinking that there may be something wrong with me. But these voices led me on a journey of a spiritual awaking I NEVER knew existed. They’ve been with me every since. But about 5 years ago I had a back operation; then another, and now I’m waiting on one more. So I guess my mind set has been a little off and I don’t hear them in my waking state nearly as much as I use to. But it is SO nice to know someone else is having similar experiences. To me it is like inner dialog, which could literally go on for hours if I stayed focused.

Best of luck to you blueIce.
And by the way, it sounds as if they want you to believe that this is really happening and trust it with all your being before you can go any further. But of course you know, all you have to do is ask them.

Hi Gregory

cool, I'm not the only nut.

I know what you mean. Most average person would say you're insane, take pills or get locked up. It was interesting that the shrink I saw didn't say that to me though. the only thing I didn't like is that once I got in the habit of talking to them, I can't seem to easily block them without concentrating. And at one point I was focussing on it too much which made interacting with others more difficult as I couldn't focus on them.

And truthfully, when I feel like I'm on an even keel, I like to tackle life myself, and that's how I've handled this. Even when I recently felt like an utter mess, I was fighting them off. But even if it is insanity, if it helps, gives comfort, or if it leads us toward the good, and doesn't hurt anyone, I say go with it. Easier said then done. I still contend with what the hell it really is, god, spirit guide, dead human spirit, dead relative, my higher self, who knows.

At any rate, I should have been sleeping long ago. Feel free to hit me up here or in a PM if you want to discuss further. Some details I'm still hesitant to divulge because it seems so out there.

btw Greg, one other thing I noticed is that there pacing, emotion, intonation, everything that makes an individual seem like an individual doesn't follow my emotions. If I'm frantic, they aren't, if I can barely think I'm so miserable or crying, they are completely different. Just curious if you noticed this too, that it really seems like a separation from the self.

[chadley]

Ive had more strange experiences than I want to share, but Il give you one of the most odd examples, and perhaps you'll feel better by comparison :)

A few years back I was in a relationship with someone who was a follower of the teachings of Paramahnsa Yogananda. She was even a member of the Self Realization fellowship which he founded and she wanted me to go with her. So, I decided to ask Yogananda himself if I should go and I did so during a meditation in the woods. Immediately upon asking a skreeching owl flew out of no where and just started shreeching at me very loudly. I was in a fairly deep state of meditation but the owl threatened to kick me out of it, still, I was able to hear a strong voice in my head that said, "relax, and the owl will sit on your shoulder" or something to that effect. I remember being so scared of the owl sitting on my shoulder but I didn't know why. Anyway, I didn't let go of my fear in that instance and the owl flew away. I knew intuitively that the owl was actually Yogananda. Oh brother, just to hear myself say that or read what I just wrote makes me cringe, lol.

Anyway, you might ask, What the heck did that mean? I didn't know either, and even though I knew the owl was Yogananda, he didn't really answer my question. In later meditations I believe I understand the "lesson". And that is that when you are confronted with experiences like this, keep your state of consciousness at a loving state and the voices or the experience will resolve and you will gain strength from it. It doesn't sound very wise when I see it written, and Im not doing it justice, but that is the jist of it. In short, be love, project love and maintain a state of allowance when you have experiences like this and the meaning will become clear.

Now, as a healer, I have developed the ability to see energy and auras, I have astral projected, I've even seen elementals and fairies and such, but the above experience, to me, stands out as one of the wierdest.

Briefly, I will also suggest to embrace these occurances and even the fear that sometimes accompanies them. Fore example, when being attacked by a "dark entity" I learned to eventually just send them love and embrace them an to relax. I used to put up psychic defenses like energy bubbles and so on, but eventually I learned to enter into a state of allowance. Once I did this, the situation would always dramatically improve.

I hope this helps. For one thing, you know, at the very minimum, that you are not the only crazy here! ;)

Originally Posted by blueIce

So anyway, I hope you don't all think I'm nuts. With my depression, and intellect, I can't help but question my sanity. But, if I'm just crazy, how could all that other stuff happen if I was just inventing this in my brain? I don't even have to focus to hear them. Is it possible these "things" are positive beings sent to help me in my times of great sorrow and distress? Is it possible they are negative and adding to or causing the problems? Any thoughts or advice are welcome. I'm at a loss.

I believe you hear and see truth from other beings in other dimensions. These beings usually are spirits, ghosts etc. Sometimes even real angels.

Anyway, do not mind them, don´t do what they tell you to do. Just focus on your own cultivation and life.

They have no right to interfere with you and your life as a human being. Swedenborg wrote many scriptures about these matters and he also said these beings usually com from low levels and they do not usually speak truth about themselves etc.

If you start genuine self-cultivation in Falun Dafa you will stop worrying about these matters.

Just my personal opinions at my wisdom level, no truth offered whatsoever.

Originally Posted by Gauss

I believe you hear and see truth from other beings in other dimensions. These beings usually are spirits, ghosts etc. Sometimes even real angels.

Anyway, do not mind them, don´t do what they tell you to do. Just focus on your own cultivation and life.

They have no right to interfere with you and your life as a human being. Swedenborg wrote many scriptures about these matters and he also said these beings usually com from low levels and they do not usually speak truth about themselves etc.

If you start genuine self-cultivation in Falun Dafa you will stop worrying about these matters.

Just my personal opinions at my wisdom level, no truth offered whatsoever.

Hi Gauss

You know at times I feel like maybe it is just lower spirits, but it's not so much that they are directing me to do specific things, at least not now. It's more like advice, or telling me to follow what I believe, and to stop dwelling on fears. To me if it was just a straight up lowly entity trying to mess with me, it wouldn't say that and tell me things that sound logical and rational when I'm in a state of misery. Not that every single things I've been told has happened, but they also tell me that if I ask questions, and don't sincerely want a true answer, they will lie to teach me.

I never heard of Falun Dafa. I'll give it a look. Thanks for the reply.

chadley

I don't think that is crazy. I've felt things like that as well, like being tested when you ask for something to see if you are really truly ready to embrace it. Seems to be a fear thing with me as too. Damn fear. this happens when I try to astral project, I can't do it anymore.

When in my early twenties I was starting a small business on the side with my friend, an online thing. We met with a lawyer in NYC, at an inside place that looked like an atrium or something. Was wide open with tables and had really high ceilings and the outside of the building was all glass. In the middle of our a meeting, a sparrow or a finch just drops dead right next to our table, indoors. talk about a bad omen. Not the same as your story but the owl reminded me of it.

at christmas dinner I was sitting with my family telling them about a dream I had the night before about my grandmother who died a few years ago. It was a nice dream and was emotional to tell it. When I uttered the last syllable, my sister in law's wine glass practically flew out of her hand spilling wine everywhere when she was just sitting still. Coincidence?

So yes, to me, nothing seems too strange anymore. Just trying to find the answers to my weirdness. In your situation I would probably have felt fear, and would think as you did, at least the way I am currently. I am not as advanced as you by a long shot and can't seem to cross the threshold, but I was going to post that by itself because it's quite a different subject.

Blueice, I'd advise you to just go with it, accept all that's going on for what it is, rather than trying to understand it straight up.

If you're scrambling to find rational explanations for these things or you catch yourself trying to deny it all straight out, or are assuming your insane or making the excuse that it's all coincidence....and if you find eventually it becomes obvious that all of that is meaningless and doesn't match the reality of what's happening....then it'll get much easier to cope with.

Your not alone in whatever your experiencing. Someone in this world or the next is always on a similar path to at least one other person. We are always technically alone...together.

Your version of weird or unusual, is actually my version of normal.

If you choose to accept it, you'll get used to most of it eventually.

Originally Posted by Sangress

Blueice, I'd advise you to just go with it, accept all that's going on for what it is, rather than trying to understand it straight up.

If you're scrambling to find rational explanations for these things or you catch yourself trying to deny it all straight out, or are assuming your insane or making the excuse that it's all coincidence....and if you find eventually it becomes obvious that all of that is meaningless and doesn't match the reality of what's happening....then it'll get much easier to cope with.

Your not alone in whatever your experiencing. Someone in this world or the next is always on a similar path to at least one other person. We are always technically alone...together.

Your version of weird or unusual, is actually my version of normal.

If you choose to accept it, you'll get used to most of it eventually.

thanks sangress. I try to roll it with now. I've always been a maniacal learner. I have this force that seems to pull me toward learning things, so I can't help but want to know what it is or if what it tells me will really come to pass because it would seem like an unprecedented thing.

Currently, it seems to be helping but it also seems like I shouldn't depend on it, and that's what they tell me. They even say one day they will be gone, and I will be happy and content with life. I'm just curious who might have experienced similar things. sometimes there is comfort or explanations when we share, even things like this that I haven't told most of the people closest to me. I don't think I'm crazy, but my damn brain tells me I am every so often.

[mystical]

as a medium myself i have to say i believe u , i too have similar experiences to urs with the voices and i thoguth i was mad , esp whejn i had my own breakdown they seem to come on more stronger , i was getting text messages form ym friends who were going thro a bad patch i would see the mssage clearly and it would state what was happenin , then i discovered that they never sent me the text , i believe u have the gift of mediumship , its greta that u can hear your guides , u seem to be buildin a lovely bond wiht them , the greta thing is here is ur trusting ur intuition soon as u heara voice u listen to it , and your not repsonding back to them , why dont u practice on ya gf , speak to your guides and see if they will help u t communictae with others loved ones , , please dont question urself ,this wil just make u feel ur going even more crazy and your not, u have a beautiful gift there , so many people train for years to get to the level your at , i have eben doing mediumship for four years now and sadly since my breakdown and me doubting myself i havent got the bond with them i once had as i always question , be proud of who u are and the fact that u have been chosen :)