Witnessed a woman cruicified in church

[Hemera]

It's certainly not unusual for me to have particularly vivid dreams and I try to understand them. This one has thrown me though.

Before I went to bed I prayed that my Divine heart would open because I feel sometimes that it is too closed. I get frustrated with myself and others, I judge them at times, and sometimes feel that I don't want to be here (feelings of depression I guess).

Anyway, my dream was this: I realised that my 'real mother' (I am in no way adopted in real life) was a member of a church and she was leading me into this church service Another woman in the church was being cruicified like Christ with the use of drawing pins. I remember feeling beyond horrified that the church was doing this and causing her intense suffering. I don't think she was killed, only injured with the pins. I saw my 'mother' crying and I said she had compassion for what had taken place.

I woke up hearing the song 'heart of glass' in my mind.


Sometimes I feel drawn to going to church for the sense of community, but then I feel my experience and understandings aren't really aligned with what they teach. As a child, religion and church felt safe and comforting and I used to pray to jesus a lot. As I became adult I started to search other paths and don't identify with anything now.

I'm not sure what this dream was getting at. Any ideas?

[django]

Referring to the bible (and not necessarily the church) Jesus did say “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?"

I think this is an unfortunate truth, we are required to shoulder our sufferings and bear with them, perhaps as a cleansing, perhaps because they are the way to 'reality'. Your sufferings are much less than the sufferings of Jesus (you as the woman in the church being crucified with drawing pins), but still have to be acknowledged and borne despite injury to yourself, your true mother (like your true father) has compassion for you, but accepts that this is required.

A personal relationship with 'the mother' is possible outside of the church, if she appears in your dreams I think she can be trusted as with all compassion she will support you through your sufferings to your 'true home' within.

[Hemera]

Many thanks for your reply Django, I really like what you've written and it helps me make sense of the dream.