Advice on loving myself/life?

[Aquarisun]

Originally Posted by Deepsoul

I say I love myself whever I need to ,You need to be able to love all of yourself the good the bad and the ugly,if you see stuff you dont like about your self ,Just say You love yourself anyway .Believe in yourself Love yourself ,dont give away your power.You are lovable and Lovely And Loving .SAy affirmations out loud,then whisper them then silently in your mind and you will get there.Deepsoul

Thanks, everyone has their flaws, but I need to learn to accept them and maybe repeat to myself I accept my flaws and I am always changing for the better.

[Aquarisun]

Originally Posted by Gem

Hey,

I saw this video last night, and I even felt a bit mushy over it, and I loved the way it was said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3fIZuW9P_M

Listening right now, thank you :)

[Aquarisun]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

then shape up.

Examine them through your adult eyes then promise yourself that you'll try to avoid situations like them again. If demands are being made of you, pause and question what you really want to do before you say yes or no. No need to feel guilty or ashamed if you let slip, just tell yourself you'll try harder in future.

No easy answer to that. Aside from a few things it's full of unknowns. In social encounters, be polite, affable...but detached until you're sure what's going on. Take nothing for granted except the sun comes up at dawn, etc.

You start by assuring yourself that you are you and your selfhood is every bit as worthy as anyone else's of respect, for love, civility; and that in this world you have your particular strengths...just a question of finding them. Be patient. You have to find yourself (as in "your selfhood") That'll take time.

And secondly, don't fall into the traps of pseudo-spirituality. Be critical. Examine the teachings you come across. They may superficially sound good but if they're promising miracles in a month treat them with suspicion. Some prey on the vulnerable and gullible. Sitting there dreaming that life is all pink and fluffy if you think the right thoughts will get you nowhere except disappointment.

Remember then that it is an experiment. Because it (obviously) won't work with many things. Don't expect too much with physical things. If it worked I'd have won the Euromillions many times over, be naturally dark-haired and be a famous composer. Above all, if you try it, decide on a time limit - say 3 months - and don't let up until the time is up. Avoid looking for results instantly...lust for result is another source of disappointment.

Yes. But it'll take some work. Keep persevering! It can be done.


♀

Great advice, thanks :) Limit, and stuff like that sounds good, and everything. Have to keep the motivation up :)

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

Great advice, thanks :) Limit, and stuff like that sounds good, and everything. Have to keep the motivation up :)

I think you've hit on a point there. When, if, you feel a bit down, motivation can wilt. Reassure yourself that in a while - maybe an hour, maybe a day, your intent will return.

Even if motivation does seem difficult, still affirm what you want to do, no matter how bleak it may seem at that moment. Kind of, ride through it.

If you feel down, assure yourself that there will be something good about the day, perhaps several things... reflect on what's passed so far; and if you go out for any reason look out for anything good - someone doing an act of charity; a mum demonstrably loving here baby/child; the sun's out and there are signs of spring in the air. Anything that's uplifting.

You're asking to change habits of attitude that have built up over a period of time so they'll take time to disperse.

But in the end it'll be worth it. And, of course, the effects of even small improvements will start to tell.

All the best with it.

Hi Aquarisun,
This is a very thoughtful question, and perhaps it's one of the most important questions to be asked too. They are all really good advices above. In addition to that, I would just like to point out a fact that we are currently living under the world where you see a lot of commercials on every street every day, and they often portray very good imaging of people,e.g. cosmetics. We may not notice all the information or even have time to digest them before the next dawn arrives. All those things make us feel small . One thinking paradigm I like to share with you is to make less comparisons between you and other people,and try to find your value internally. Understanding that loving yourself would be a dynamic and continuous process in your life is important too.

[Jared.L]

Loving yourself is the hardest part for me..I think It requires some work with your psycho-traumas and early childhood experiences that led to the fact that you do not love yourself anymore.

[Kylaila]

@Jared Yeah, for me at least that part is strongly connected. I worked a lot with affirmations and activities to show myself the love (one of my mentors also had a lovely hugging and patting routine repeating "I am good" "I am happy and content" "I love myself"). And in affirming it to myself and changing how I view myself I was also confronted with the many lessons that were or used to be different from that. And there is always some sort of "reason" we picked our beliefs and feelings up in the first place, since we are intelligent creatures. Some sort of benefit too.
And learning new methods, beliefs will make you face what you had before and why. So feel okay to look at them, let all that you couldn't at the time out, realize why they existed, what they brought you and why there may be no need for them anymore. Then let them go.

For example, for a long time I was unable to stand up for myself right away or even realize I was feeling worse when I felt I was ignored talking in a group of people. Which also in turn made me unconsciously scared of situations where that could happen.
As I grew more in tune with my emotions and also allow myself to stand up for myself this echo was still there, and I let it go then.

Sometimes you just haven't made all the necessary steps for one particular thing too, and that's okay.

..


Just as a little something.. even there is already so much great advice here
:)

What I feel is core to this loving yourself is that .. you are always always deserving of love. You deserve to love and be loved. You have a right to be here. Like the trees in a forest.
And even if you haven't reached your full potential or aware of all your strengths, even if you aren't as you "could be" right now, you are still you and the beautiful fact is that you can love yourself for the fact that you simply exist and try to live your life. There is a lot of value in that and what more could you be doing than trying your best?

It's also what I find so beautiful about our sense of self. We grow and change over time, and no matter how different those phases may be, you still feel it all as "yourself" and look back to you like that.

[Aquarisun]

@Kylaila- Yeah just takes practice for affirmations to start working right? I can be a bit passive too and not say what I feel because there are some people out there that will put you down for an opinion or a statement you make about how you feel or what you like, dislike. I am becoming more assertive but I feel bad even expressing myself or saying what is bothering me or things I did long time ago still bothers and upsets me. I guess that says I haven't forgave myself for anything yet but then I wonder, has others forgiven me? Would they?,etc. I have trouble moving on sometimes.

@Jack Yen-Yeah I hear ya. It's like you have to be perfect and good enough. Too much pressure and just hard. I don't think putting make up on me or whatever would make me feel better about myself anyway lol. I am the kind of girl that doesn't care for make up/jewelry :P

[StrawberryStrudel]

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

Problem is I don't know how to love myself or start.

You are a good person.

Somewhere, some part of you, is perfect.

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

What if you feel you don't deserve to love yourself, you're angry at past things,

Beg forgiveness. Mean it. Work toward the greater good, as much as possible. Have as much positive impact as possible.

At some point, when you really feel that you deserve it, forgive yourself.
That part took me a very long time

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

...hurt by old friendships, etc, scared of the future

I'm not sure about the healing part, but as for the future goes: There is a great deal of risk and reward in life. Personally, I tend to lean toward taking risks, and accept all the harm that comes along every time a risk doesn't pay off. Find out where you truly feel comfortable. Be brave. Seek the greatest magnitude of positive energy, for yourself and for everyone else. (maybe?)

We're here for you. You got this. As soon as you decide to start being a total badass, you'll start being a total badass.

<3

:-)

[Space8y]

May I sugguest the book, "Shadows Before Dawn, Finding the Light of Self Love Through Your Darkest Times." by Teal Swan


Literally this entire book is nothing but techniques and strategies for building love for yourself, and ultimately everyone else.