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  #1  
Old 23-06-2020, 04:07 AM
victoria victoria is offline
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Recurring Demonic/Evil Dreams

Hi All!

I want to preface this by saying that to me these dreams feel different from nightmares. I do have nightmares but in these dreams it isn't simply something scary happening that makes me feel stressed. It's a very specific icky/overwhelming feeling of horror each time. Normally (99% of the time) the bad feeling is associated with exploring a house, and it feels like there is a demonic/dark presence in the house. Sometimes there is a character that I interact with that feels like the source of the evil. A lot of the time though the presence goes unseen.

To give some background that may help this make sense, I made some dark spiritual attachments as a child when I was going through sexual abuse. Whether or not you believe in that kind of thing, I've done a lot of work to get rid of them and don't feel their presence in my waking life anymore. I'm not sure if I'm getting attacked subconsciously or if this is just the effects of my PTSD.

Anyways if anyone has any insights or advice for me it would be much appreciated. Mostly I just wanted to voice something that's been burdening me for a while.
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  #2  
Old 23-06-2020, 05:38 AM
Ewwerrin Ewwerrin is offline
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I wasn't raped, tho I had a bad childhood. So maybe this will give you some perspective?

I also have these types of dreams. All of the time. But to me the demons are often very clearly visible. Sometimes quasi physical with allot of rage emmenation and reality distortion. But I've also had real terrorizing demons grey skinned muscular naked physical powerful tall reptilian looking. Jumping and hunting. Kind of like the stone pokemon, but absolutely no life in their eyes absolutely demonic. I am glad they are not in this life.

What is even worse I hallucinated of spiders in my bed. When my third eye opened while I was asleep. I had to be really relaxed and allowing for that to even happen. I thought I would receive a beautiful vision. And the spider seemed to be saying hello, but it was not waving at me. It was feeling its way with its paws? I dont know what it was doing. Freaked me out.
Instead of reflecting my relaxed state of being, I received the complete opposite. And then there was a real spider in my bed a month later. Smaller but still bigger than most I've seen and thicker. Very scary.

Like always. I can't do anything about these things. As I have schizophrenia. So I have to conjure my own visions to distract me from these things. Requires powerful focus.

It seems like the torture never ends, but when I focus in my meditation, consistently, without interruption, on anything. Somehow magically all thoughts dissapear, I have clear mindedness and my emotions are pure serene prestine like crystal clear as water.

For me because I get distracted so, and this thought of fear leads to that thought of fear. Focusing is difficult, but I can accomplish it, of I give it my all to focus on something simply and meaningless to quiet my mind. If I succeed in focusing consistently, it's like, this stable consistent center of my focus, brings quiet to all of my mind. When I do succeed in focusing consistently for 20 minutes, really try to focus with all of my power. Then my mind quiets.

And then there is so much peace and my dreams also so much peace. One time I experienced real love in my dream, after I meditated like this. Love like I had never experienced before. Authentic. Pure. Honest. Mindblowing. It was even realer than my life. And it felt great to be happy again. And see good dreams again.

So you might say my subconscious attacks me yes. But I can suffer it forever. Or I can focus in my meditation and then my subconscious is simply quiet. No hallucinations nothing. But its not easy. I have to really do the meditation and sometimes I fail. Because I cannot focus. But usually desire gets stronger due to suffering and then I have more fuel to use. I can channel that despair as power, to get me to really focus. And then I find peace again. Once I do focus, it just takes a few minutes to quiet my mind. Then from there on it becomes easy to focus. And that means, I just have to keep my mind clean and then it stays clean. Only focus on things that make me happy. And feel good. Thats it. Its a goal. It works for me. It offers me allot of relief. But in the beginning I had to really learn how to do it. Especially when you're in the middle of chaotic mind. It becomes almost impossible to focus. The key is to focus in order to quiet the mind. To stop thought. Not focus on thinking. That just expands the despair and hallucinations and delusions and such things.

I dont know, maybe it helps maybe not. Hope it does.
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  #3  
Old 23-06-2020, 08:30 PM
victoria victoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 9
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ewwerrin
I wasn't raped, tho I had a bad childhood. So maybe this will give you some perspective?

I also have these types of dreams. All of the time. But to me the demons are often very clearly visible. Sometimes quasi physical with allot of rage emmenation and reality distortion. But I've also had real terrorizing demons grey skinned muscular naked physical powerful tall reptilian looking. Jumping and hunting. Kind of like the stone pokemon, but absolutely no life in their eyes absolutely demonic. I am glad they are not in this life.

What is even worse I hallucinated of spiders in my bed. When my third eye opened while I was asleep. I had to be really relaxed and allowing for that to even happen. I thought I would receive a beautiful vision. And the spider seemed to be saying hello, but it was not waving at me. It was feeling its way with its paws? I dont know what it was doing. Freaked me out.
Instead of reflecting my relaxed state of being, I received the complete opposite. And then there was a real spider in my bed a month later. Smaller but still bigger than most I've seen and thicker. Very scary.

Like always. I can't do anything about these things. As I have schizophrenia. So I have to conjure my own visions to distract me from these things. Requires powerful focus.

It seems like the torture never ends, but when I focus in my meditation, consistently, without interruption, on anything. Somehow magically all thoughts dissapear, I have clear mindedness and my emotions are pure serene prestine like crystal clear as water.

For me because I get distracted so, and this thought of fear leads to that thought of fear. Focusing is difficult, but I can accomplish it, of I give it my all to focus on something simply and meaningless to quiet my mind. If I succeed in focusing consistently, it's like, this stable consistent center of my focus, brings quiet to all of my mind. When I do succeed in focusing consistently for 20 minutes, really try to focus with all of my power. Then my mind quiets.

And then there is so much peace and my dreams also so much peace. One time I experienced real love in my dream, after I meditated like this. Love like I had never experienced before. Authentic. Pure. Honest. Mindblowing. It was even realer than my life. And it felt great to be happy again. And see good dreams again.

So you might say my subconscious attacks me yes. But I can suffer it forever. Or I can focus in my meditation and then my subconscious is simply quiet. No hallucinations nothing. But its not easy. I have to really do the meditation and sometimes I fail. Because I cannot focus. But usually desire gets stronger due to suffering and then I have more fuel to use. I can channel that despair as power, to get me to really focus. And then I find peace again. Once I do focus, it just takes a few minutes to quiet my mind. Then from there on it becomes easy to focus. And that means, I just have to keep my mind clean and then it stays clean. Only focus on things that make me happy. And feel good. Thats it. Its a goal. It works for me. It offers me allot of relief. But in the beginning I had to really learn how to do it. Especially when you're in the middle of chaotic mind. It becomes almost impossible to focus. The key is to focus in order to quiet the mind. To stop thought. Not focus on thinking. That just expands the despair and hallucinations and delusions and such things.

I dont know, maybe it helps maybe not. Hope it does.

Thank you so much for your response! It's comforting to hear that someone else experiences things like this. And thank you for your advice! I also thought it was interesting that you mentioned seeing spiders on your bed. When I was little I used to see large white/translucent spiders crawling on my bed at night. They weren't real (or at least physical). Blessings on your journey with all this :)

Last edited by victoria : 23-06-2020 at 09:19 PM.
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  #4  
Old 27-06-2020, 05:25 AM
LadyVictoria LadyVictoria is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: New York State
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You're dreaming of your Shadow.

Our Shadows represent the part of ourselves that we are afraid to face. Your reoccurring nightmare may be an indication that you are ready to do some Shadow work and confront and dare I say embrace this uglier and scarier side of yourself.

There is lots of material online on how you can begin Shadow work which is incredibly transformative.

Before going to sleep I would ask my higher power to reveal the Shadow and cast a light upon it. If you ask your higher power to reveal something to you trust that it will be revealed.
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We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year. Running over the same old ground. Have we found the same old fears. Wish you were here." - Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here
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  #5  
Old 06-07-2020, 05:28 PM
mjd-healingjourney mjd-healingjourney is offline
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Hi Victoria:

I'm new here so I hope you don't mind my chiming in. I wanted to reply because I, too, understand what you are going through. I was severely abused as a child and assaulted a couple of times as an adult. I also have complex-PTSD.

Like you, I have had horrible, horrible nightmares (but they feel like something *more*). They differ from regular nightmares in that I can't force myself to wake up. I am aware that I'm dreaming but I have no control over the horrible things I see. Sometimes, it's just a replay of an actual traumatic event, but sometimes it's unbelievably painful to the point there are really no words.

I cannot recall where I read this but I was told that we dream about things as a way to *process* real moments in our lives. EVERY aspect of the dream is some form of YOU (think of it as your soul) and they are designed to lessen the shock of something terrible. For example, I once had an awful, awful one that told me that someone in my family was going to die soon. I was mortified because the relative was my age and seemingly okay. She ended up dying when we were about 29 years old. Since then, I've become better about journaling when these things happen so I can figure out the real message. Over time, I've been able to learn how to connect the dots. I keep a journal next to my bed so I don't forget before the tasks of the day take over my mind.

I don't know if you found this helpful, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone. You are a beautiful, wonderful, strong and resilient person that has already survived so much. It hard to remember that when we hear those negatives tapes of our early lives. I am still working on how to erase them and replace them with love, hope and healing. I get stronger every single day. I hope you, too, can come to find your precious place of peace.

Kind regards,
MJ
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  #6  
Old 06-07-2020, 07:23 PM
asearcher
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by victoria
Hi All!

I want to preface this by saying that to me these dreams feel different from nightmares. I do have nightmares but in these dreams it isn't simply something scary happening that makes me feel stressed. It's a very specific icky/overwhelming feeling of horror each time. Normally (99% of the time) the bad feeling is associated with exploring a house, and it feels like there is a demonic/dark presence in the house. Sometimes there is a character that I interact with that feels like the source of the evil. A lot of the time though the presence goes unseen.

To give some background that may help this make sense, I made some dark spiritual attachments as a child when I was going through sexual abuse. Whether or not you believe in that kind of thing, I've done a lot of work to get rid of them and don't feel their presence in my waking life anymore. I'm not sure if I'm getting attacked subconsciously or if this is just the effects of my PTSD.

Anyways if anyone has any insights or advice for me it would be much appreciated. Mostly I just wanted to voice something that's been burdening me for a while.
Hi Victoria! What a survivor you are :)

It could be something your subconscious is working through, a reminder of the past where you were not in control and abused and fear was high up on the scale.

It could also be that someone or something is trying to interfere with your dreams.

I have experience being a ghost and trying that only I did not have bad intent.

I have had a bad experience during what I thought was either dream or past life memory and woke up with bruises in the strange places where I normally never get any but where in the dream i was being touched, it was more like something between bruises and burn-marks.

I would work on higher myself, surround myself with positive things and thoughts and prays and pray before going to bed (if praying is not something you are accustom to try to think it as if one is making a phone call out of the blue and asking for help. I think the spirit side wants to help, but they can do more when one ask them, like they need the get-go-sign).

I can rapidly go into a feeling of strong fear because of abuse in this life but also past life but the thing is not to get paralyzed with it. I have started to think of myself as some kind of traffic police who directs the traffic so I put up my stop sign and stand my ground, mentally, when I start to see something threatening coming towards me in dreams when i am that active that I can do that. it does sound absolutely silly but I do feel stronger when I do it. Others imagine white light around one self and so on. You can try to practice to do this so that it will be your first instinct by choice in the future. Like you are putting on a uniform of some kind that will make you feel stronger. "Mine" works like an energy some part from my body so I imagine that they can't get closer than that. I don't even think it is me, but thinking I am borrowing this kind of energy for a while.

By the way, I totally believe you about the entities you described.

Wish you all the best with this and no more nightmares :)

Last edited by asearcher : 06-07-2020 at 08:18 PM.
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  #7  
Old 06-07-2020, 08:50 PM
Hologram8 Hologram8 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Spirit world
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never mind - I can't speak freely here it is against the rules -- but there is a simple way to stop nightmares
you would have to find me on another site where it's okay for me to be myself -- then I could tell you about the wonderful cure for this truly evil curse
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Last edited by Hologram8 : 06-07-2020 at 09:51 PM.
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  #8  
Old 07-07-2020, 04:44 AM
utopiandreamchild utopiandreamchild is offline
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Location: Auckland New Zealand
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Dreams are a tool of the mind and we can easily explore the depth of it whilst in dream state. Dreams can be positive or negative, good or bad, joyful or scary. If you are not in control of your mind or have not mastered your mind your mind will wonder and you'll find yourself in situations you don't understand whilst dreaming. Dreams are just a product of the mind like being a character in a movie of your own imagination. Obviously we use the 3rd eye/minds eye to see in dream as our physical eyes are closed whilst asleep. Your scary dreams are a product of a fearful heart. Make peace with yourself and get over the fears. Amen
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  #9  
Old 16-07-2020, 10:12 AM
Brian100 Brian100 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2020
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I have concluded that dreams are connected to the spirit world somehow and they can get into your dreams and really scare the living daylights out of you. Some will be premonition of what they will do to you in real life thru other people. But with God they can't reach you, b/c he has way more power. Being stuck in a spooky mansion is like some ghost showing you his pad. . the problem really comes when they start to talk to you in your dreams then you know its real time with the spirits. Or they turn their head and look at you. . When they 'grab' hold of you means they will get you in real life.
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  #10  
Old 22-07-2020, 06:00 AM
aqsimon2020 aqsimon2020 is offline
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Very true. Some dreams came be premonitions of the future.
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