Originally Posted by ashleyk
Ha! Yes. You describe this very well, and hilarious - cuz, it's true.
The derealization, apathy, questioning everything I value and am doing - on the face it looks like a mid-life crisis but it's much deeper than that. I meditate on these things and it's often painful. And...it allows me to level up, see life differently. Helps me be more calm overall (I'm not a calm person by nature - or, I don't even know yet what I'm being...watching in amazement and not necessarily good amazement). It's a huge unwinding of myself and life. A deconstruction. It should not be called an "Awakening" at all. I vote to call it a "Destroying". Things I once valued and believed in have lost meaning and that's not a bad thing. It's not depression in the clinical sense. It's a "that's not needed" type of lost meaning. And then there's this giant void also because I don't quite know much either. Things are being undone, derealized, destroyed, deconstructed and...what's left is emptiness so far. So now I need to learn new skills. It's a lot to have happen in a short time. It's overwhelming at times.
Things always have a habit of coming "full circle" with me, leading me back to where I started, but with a fresh outlook.
For example, this is like the 5th topic on Kundalini I have replied to in the past 2 days...strange how that goes.
I just finished replying to one about Kundalini disclosure to mental health professionals, when I remembered Stanislav Grof and his work in founding the Spiritual Emergence Network...and the practice of Holotropic Breathwork...I hadn't thought about all that in years before tonight.
I recalled that SEN had an establishment in Australia, but I didn't know if it was an international thing or not, so I went on a search and soon found ISEN:
I read all that was on that website, but a particular pamphlet took my whole interest and I downloaded a PDF version of it (for free of course):
This is the ISEN "Crisis Guide" which I am loving every word of right now.
CALM - Campaign Against Living Miserably.... LOL
Then, there is the work of Stan Grof...who I haven't heard from since he did the Buddha At The Gas Pump interview about 4 years ago...he must be getting old now..
This stuff is all my Higher Self helping me out through my expanded state of Consciousness...at least that is still there, despite everything else like bliss and joy going bye bye..
So, I thought I would share it here too, just in case you or anyone else needs it.