Confused for many reasons

[SheShatters]

I don't understand how one person can say they are the twin flame to someone else if the other person has no feelings for them at all. I mean, like, if someone feels a total bond to someone else, for a really long time, and the other person has absolutely zero connection to the person feeling the bond. If you don't even really know the person, have never even had a conversation with them, let alone a relationship, all those feeling that you think have about understanding them completely and being in love with who and what they are... basically aren't those things you think about them just projections of what you really wish the perfect mate would be? I am not doubting that some people feel a soul mate of twin flame bond, but I am doubting people who are living in anguish waiting for someone else who is off living their life, happily married, etc, and never giving them a single thought. I hear people saying that it is because you have things to work through and that the other person will come around when it is Gods plan for them - but, honestly? that makes God sound kind of capricious and mean. Like, he would hurt and damage the families of the happily married person just so they could work out things and then go live happily ever after someplace else? Somebody clarify here for me because I am confused and smack in the middle of this war of theologies - when do you start to question yourself and ask if your twin flame journey is just an unrequited and maybe even dangerous obsession?

[Ciona]

Some people do have dangerous obsessions. Those people are out there, and they should seek help. When do they start to question themselves? That just depends on them--when they've been lonely long enough, when something else wakes them up to realize the potential of their own life, when the cops take them away, whatever. Like it or not (and obviously we don't), not everyone is mentally or emotionally stable, this is just fact. It might not seem logical to you, but mental illness or emotional problems aren't logical. People latch onto all kinds of things to avoid facing their feelings or responsibilites, not just the tf concept. I mean, no one really knows what will cause someone else to hit 'rock bottom', and start to wake up in life.

That aside, I'm going to attempt to clarify the legitimate expression of heart centered connection in one-ness in some of these scenarios you mention. This kind of connection is called 'one-sided.' Which is perfectly acceptable in one-ness. What is actually happening, is the higher self of one person has agreed to assist the other person with their evolvement, lessons they need to learn, etc, without getting personally involved themselves. So their higher selves have an agreement. When this manifests in 3D the person having the connection doesn't realize what their higher self is doing, so they experience the soul connection just as you describe--they have this soul bond going on and the other person doesn't seem to be experiencing it. They can think of that person as their tf or not, to their heart that is what is happening and it's sound because the other person's higher self has agreed to work with them.

As people catalyze, grow, learn whatever lessons they are there to learn, many come to understand what it is they have actually done. It's certainly not something they can explain to others while they are still mooning about, because they're still on their way to that higher awareness in their journey. It's something you can talk about later after the job's been done. The soul in question will eventually evolve into whatever it was the two higher selves agreed upon, it is not the same thing as someone stalking someone else, that particular soul isn't going to do anything the higher self of the other person might want or agree to help with.

There are also one-sided connections that are in between these two extremes. In other words, it's somewhat a two way connection but not all the way. One person is totally invested in the heart-center, and the other person is somewhat, but not as much or in the same way. People cry over those too. But they can be very eye-opening and wonderful in their own intense way. Stimulate lots of growth. Stimulate people's creativity.

Soul connections aren't just about connection they are about growth. It just depends on what the higher selves are doing.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by SheShatters

I don't understand how one person can say they are the twin flame to someone else if the other person has no feelings for them at all. I mean, like, if someone feels a total bond to someone else, for a really long time, and the other person has absolutely zero connection to the person feeling the bond. If you don't even really know the person, have never even had a conversation with them, let alone a relationship, all those feeling that you think have about understanding them completely and being in love with who and what they are... basically aren't those things you think about them just projections of what you really wish the perfect mate would be? I am not doubting that some people feel a soul mate of twin flame bond, but I am doubting people who are living in anguish waiting for someone else who is off living their life, happily married, etc, and never giving them a single thought. I hear people saying that it is because you have things to work through and that the other person will come around when it is Gods plan for them - but, honestly? that makes God sound kind of capricious and mean. Like, he would hurt and damage the families of the happily married person just so they could work out things and then go live happily ever after someplace else? Somebody clarify here for me because I am confused and smack in the middle of this war of theologies - when do you start to question yourself and ask if your twin flame journey is just an unrequited and maybe even dangerous obsession?

It's something that I've pointed out many times too, and it's not appreciated.
What it comes down to is that people need something to latch on to when in trouble and this is the latest fad.
Twin Flames are real, don't get the wrong idea. But most people who talk like that are no Twin Flames, not even close.
Like you say, if there is a super strong connection like with Twin Flames BOTH parties will feel that way.
So you're completely right, and thank you for posting this. About time other people start waking up to the truth too and don't believe all the nonsense that gets put out here and elsewhere on the net on Twin Flames.
Oddly enough I wrote a very similar thing the other day. It don't believe it was appreciated
Oh well... I guess best to think that each has their own path and if they need beliefs like that to make themselves feel better...
Just remember, in case you're interested in Twin Flame phenomenon, that online forums aren't the best place to get informed. Too many people like you described, and as I said before, many with mental health issues in the Twin Flame scene.
There are good sources on Twin Flames, but few and far between. Use your intuition to 'feel' whether you've got one.
I've posted a whole lot about 2 years back... They really exist!

[SheShatters]

Thank you for answering me. Your writing is very clear and easy to understand. I know that some rare and magical things exist in this world. I totally believe that they do. I kind of think this TF idea is not one of them, and pushing this whole idea of it onto people you don't know, like some of the web sites and videos I have seen, is not responsible. How can a web site guide someone to a higher self? They are totally anonymous, they have no idea who you are or what your mind state and what gives them the right anyway to judge you? Anyway, I actually asked because I have had someone constantly pursue me using the TF relationship as the reason. I am confused, and a bit sad, and a little scared, by the whole thing, so thanks again, a lot for the clarifications and the help.

[Ciona]

It sounds like you are being stalked. I am curious and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to, but is the individual a male or a female? I have seen plenty of people use the concept of soul connections as an excuse to try to 'get' with someone, often males looking for sex, so they make up a story of feeling a 'connection' with someone...which can really work on some women in the spiritual community, who are desperate for a relationship. But an emotionally unstable female or male can do the same thing.

I don't think it's impossible for one person's higher self to help assist another in becoming emotionally stable, if that's what the soul in question is really trying to do. But I think that would be very rare. And if it was the case I would think you would have most likely already had the higher self memory associated with it, since you are already in it. But you say you are scared instead, so that to me sounds like another horror show.

[SaraTherase]

As someone with experience in unhealthy toxic relationships I am going to suggest that this is a big lesson for you about intentions, boundaries and honesty. Somehow you attracted this person to you and must have had some interaction with this person, at the very least enough to trigger or generate such an infatuation or obsession.

Often such situations present between a narcissist and a codependent with the intent for a lesson to be learned. Some people are catalysts for others purely to push them along on to their path and help them to notice what's not working within themselves generating positive change. I do believe some connections are karmic and come into play in order to balance karma from a past life.

I personally don't believe that the twin flame ideology is helpful to anyone and more often then not becomes an excuse or reason to persue someone for all the wrong reasons or stay in a toxic unhealthy situation because of a belief held so close and dear in one's mind. I think too often people confuse soulmate connections which can be romantic and platonic alike for twin flame connections. I don't believe in twin flames actually and feel we are capable of being and feeling whole by ourselves and on our own. People who seek the twin flame connection need to learn to love themselves.

It's really not nice to feel such a way but there is a purpose to everything even if it may be hard to see or understand right now. I hope you learn what you were meant to from this experience.

[Ciona]

Originally Posted by SaraTherase

Some people are catalysts for others purely to push them along on to their path and help them to notice what's not working within themselves generating positive change.

This is true, too.

Originally Posted by SheShatters

I don't understand how one person can say they are the twin flame to someone else if the other person has no feelings for them at all. I mean, like, if someone feels a total bond to someone else, for a really long time, and the other person has absolutely zero connection to the person feeling the bond. If you don't even really know the person, have never even had a conversation with them, let alone a relationship, all those feeling that you think have about understanding them completely and being in love with who and what they are... basically aren't those things you think about them just projections of what you really wish the perfect mate would be? I am not doubting that some people feel a soul mate of twin flame bond, but I am doubting people who are living in anguish waiting for someone else who is off living their life, happily married, etc, and never giving them a single thought. I hear people saying that it is because you have things to work through and that the other person will come around when it is Gods plan for them - but, honestly? that makes God sound kind of capricious and mean. Like, he would hurt and damage the families of the happily married person just so they could work out things and then go live happily ever after someplace else? Somebody clarify here for me because I am confused and smack in the middle of this war of theologies - when do you start to question yourself and ask if your twin flame journey is just an unrequited and maybe even dangerous obsession?

Dead right. It's what makes this philosophy so unhealthy for the many. Taking up the twin flame banner seems to give too many a sense of "right of ownership." When it becomes obsession it's spiritually dangerous - in fact closer to materialism than spirituality.

It can be looked on as one's dark side creeping through but the person has no idea of it happening, denies examining and understanding it - and usually blames the target of their attention; ending up disappointed and fraught.

A good example of how refusing to deal with one's dark side can let it seethe on ready to surface and cause trouble given the opportunity.
.

[Dargor]

It's just the fact that some people have watched too many Disney movies and they think they can just easily conquer their crush by pushing things far enough such as drawing the twin flame card. Those people simply don't understand how the reality works that we live in.

[Inika]

aww being scared is not a good place to be in. I dont know if this is a call for help type of post but blocking out all contact would help. if you have already let him know you do not share the same feeling of any connection and still is in pursuit then definitely block. with time eventually no contact will have him give up.

stay focused on your marriage and where your happiness is to move the low vibe feelings :)