being tested whilst single????

[mystical]

well then u need to figure out why u feel this way , isnt that up to her to decide? maybe , if u gave it a chance n opened up and wasnt so defensive or self protected she may end up loving u in a way that noone else ever has becaus ei knwo i do my twin and i knwo lots of others on here loves there twin immensely , u are WORTHY AND U ARE MAN ENOUGH dharma , dont be too hard on urself

mm, i see what you saying but it is an energetic thing that happens when I see her



its like, hey alison, I am back on anti depressants that i quit 14 months ago, have nearly lost my job, had 82 days off work, owing to this ( also had time off in april, which i think was the very beginning of all this, in it's soul connection effects)

your a mother with a 7 year old son, and clearly strong, with that pressure, on your shoulders

let me take you out, if I can afford, it, once my pay goes up to full pay again, because i have lost money, over my feelings and the connections impact on my life

the last guy she dated so I hear runs his own it business and goes microlighting

i can just see her signing up to a guy like me ;)

The man i'm talking about has no money what-so-ever he was on the verge of lossing his home. He has lost so much confidence since I first met him. Doesnt even shave anymore because hes so depressed...

Now look through my posts, in fact dont bother, you can see I'm here now, still wishing he would let me in. No matter what hes become i want to see him through and be by his side even through this darkness hes in.

If you really care for her (which i can hear you must do) you need to pick yourself up, do things that will make you feel good about yourself again. Be that strong man, for you AND her. if you really want to reunite with her.Not give up and assume shes better off without you, thats for HER to decide not you. Dont you think she deserves someone who loves her as much as you do?

[mystical]

(((((((((((((((((((dharma , )))))))))))))))) the reaosn ur betain urself up n thinking this is because u think ur not enough , u need to work on that self love its why alison has stepped into ur life right now and turned it upside down , how can we love anyone else with our all if we cnat love ourselves????

ya know my twin use to think he was too skinny n that i need a bigger man with more muscles , he was living with his mother and thought i needed sumone independant , he had no job no money and thought he couldnt provide for me , he was a mess emotionally and thoguth cos he is so down with life thta he would bring me down also ,because he is an intorvert and i was an outgoing he thought i would get bored , but in fact he was perfect just as he was , money didnt matter his looks didnt matter , cos i thought he was gorgeous before i even met him physically i didnt care that he had nothing at all to offer me because for once it wanst about materialism , i love the very bones of that man and if it meant i had to give up my whole life and live inside four walls just to be with him then i would because i was happy fully contented on every level , sadly this world is made up of issues to do with materialism and so many people obsess these days about looks etc but u know ? it doesnt matter because peopel becoem blinded to everything else , they ebcoem greedy in relationships and in life in genral people always want more , they fail to appreciate the little things , liek how a smile can brighten ur day , love cost nothing , so what if u cnat take her to the cinema , go for a walk in the park instead under the stars , its much more romantic , so what if u cnat afford to take her for a meal , cook sumthing instead , its the effort that counts the intention dharma xxxx

[mystical]

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

The man i'm talking about has no money what-so-ever he was on the verge of lossing his home. He has lost so much confidence since I first met him. Doesnt even shave anymore because hes so depressed...

Now look through my posts, in fact dont bother, you can see I'm here now, still wishing he would let me in. No matter what hes become i want to see him through and be by his side even through this darkness hes in.

If you really care for her (which i can hear you must do) you need to pick yourself up, do things that will make you feel good about yourself again. Be that strong man, for you AND her. if you really want to reunite with her.Not give up and assume shes better off without you, thats for HER to decide not you. Dont you think she deserves someone who loves her as much as you do?

ditto :)))))))))))))))))

i think the post was not clear, on full pay,I earn enough to buy her dinner and take her to the cinema, etc etc

but as usual I am digressing from what this experience is about

I have to grow and clear all the ****, if I could get my system in balance maybe something could change but posting on here, won't help that, as I keep on realising

[mystical]

i was just speaking metaphircally dharma lol , its the little things that matter not grand gestures most women just wnat sumone they cnat communictae with sumoen who wil listen and sumoen who will undertsnad them

Originally Posted by mystical

i was just speaking metaphircally dharma lol , its the little things that matter not grand gestures most women just wnat sumone they cnat communictae with sumoen who wil listen and sumoen who will undertsnad them

Totally true. When I had seen my tf looking, the same as I had done, at the display of valentines gifts in a glass cabinet in our local mall tonight, all I could think was, just a thought, a word, or warm feeling is enough for me. Those things mean more to me than flowers and chocolates ever could (though admittedly, I am a chocoholic lol)

well this was the one time in my life where I think I failed as a listener(always been told, it was one of my strongest qualities but in the last few years, that and my memory seem to have gone a bit cuckoo) but then 2 or 3 , 3 minute songs, never afforded me the luxury of being able to do this justice

I spent much of my working day listening to people suffering with schizoprehnia, and it was kinda wearing and depressing, so often was all too nice, to share your experience of life in dry humour and have such shared laughter and what not

I did feel, on several occassions, that when I did ask her stuff, she did often deflect and would close down, she just seemed very guarded to me

I had hoped to try and talk to her at IJIG that time but I paniced when I saw her with somone else, looked for her twice in the cafeteria and could not see her and was mired in fear( she later said, I was there and sounded irritated and I responded, well I did look, I remember thinking, could you have not just signalled but I guess if she feels the same way, she could have felt the same fear, I was feeling)

I