Awakening a kundalini

[Shivani Devi]

My Heart was broken in 2011,not by a lover but a very complicated Father/Daughter relationship.

OMG! no wonder we get along like a house on fire!

I could tell you a story that will break your heart all over again in regards...I had my heart broken twice and haven't been able to feel anything but God's love ever since.

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

OMG! no wonder we get along like a house on fire!

I could tell you a story that will break your heart all over again in regards...I had my heart broken twice and haven't been able to feel anything but God's love ever since.

Maybe this is where the Block is...Can you remember that experience without feeling pain?Can you see its purpose and teaching's?

I look back at my Experience as the key to Kundalini,there is still a little pain as it is still not resolved and I am reminded of my Experience daily with Syncronicities connected to the pain.
At the start the sync's confused me but now the sync's remind me of God's power over us all and I see the joy in the sync's and my heartbreak.

I wouldn't see myself as a "shakti veteran" as I am fairly new to it but I do understand I have moved along quickly....possibly due to work done in my previous life.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by barrynu

Maybe this is where the Block is...Can you remember that experience without feeling pain?Can you see its purpose and teaching's?

I look back at my Experience as the key to Kundalini,there is still a little pain as it is still not resolved and I am reminded of my Experience daily with Syncronicities connected to the pain.
At the start the sync's confused me but now the sync's remind me of God's power over us all and I see the joy in the sync's and my heartbreak.

I wouldn't see myself as a "shakti veteran" as I am fairly new to it but I do understand I have moved along quickly....possibly due to work done in my previous life.

The block was there before this and probably caused it, but since it happened, it has been much worse.

I sort of put it to the back of my mind and tried living as if I never had kids in the first place. I usually function this way.

I can recall the experience without any pain.

I cannot see the purpose and teachings beyond the fact that I need to give up ALL attachments and that I was nothing more than a biological incubator.

[Shivani Devi]

Ever since my two girls were very small and throughout their teens, they said stuff like; "you may have given birth to me, but you are not my real mother"...they also said similar things to my ex husband "you are not our real parents" and whenever I asked them "okay, so who is your real mother then?" I would get "I don't know, but all I know is that it's not you".

I tried hugging them, I got pushed away...I told them I loved them and got "no you don't". I tried taking them for picnics, to the zoo...getting interested in what they were doing, trying to accept them...but they would just lock themselves in their room, saying "I will go nowhere and do nothing with you" and they spent most days chatting with their friends on the phone or playing with the Nintendo...we tried counselling, they refused to go...every approach was met with hatred and hostility and in the end, they resented us for bringing them into the world...saying that they did not ask to be born and it was selfish of us to have children.

When they were 18 (legal age) they left home, gave no forwarding address, no phone number...nothing and that was 18 and 15 years ago respectively...haven't heard from them or about them ever since.

For 5 years I cried my heart out and then, I buried their picture in a grave and performed the 'last rites'. It was over.

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

The block was there before this and probably caused it, but since it happened, it has been much worse.

I sort of put it to the back of my mind and tried living as if I never had kids in the first place. I usually function this way.

I can recall the experience without any pain.

I cannot see the purpose and teachings beyond the fact that I need to give up ALL attachments and that I was nothing more than a biological incubator.

Giving up all attachments is a learning.
If the block was there already then that's what needs attention.
I can relate,I was a sperm donor and the life that grew from it,does not know I exist but I know of her....that's my conundrum

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by barrynu

Giving up all attachments is a learning.
If the block was there already then that's what needs attention.
I can relate,I was a sperm donor and the life that grew from it,does not know I exist but I know of her....that's my conundrum

I related my entire tale of woe above and I am also sorry to read of your experiences.

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Ever since my two girls were very small and throughout their teens, they said stuff like; "you may have given birth to me, but you are not my real mother"...they also said similar things to my ex husband "you are not our real parents" and whenever I asked them "okay, so who is your real mother then?" I would get "I don't know, but all I know is that it's not you".

I tried hugging them, I got pushed away...I told them I loved them and got "no you don't". I tried taking them for picnics, to the zoo...getting interested in what they were doing, trying to accept them...but they would just lock themselves in their room, saying "I will go nowhere and do nothing with you" and they spent most days chatting with their friends on the phone or playing with the Nintendo...we tried counselling, they refused to go...every approach was met with hatred and hostility and in the end, they resented us for bringing them into the world...saying that they did not ask to be born and it was selfish of us to have children.

When they were 18 (legal age) they left home, gave no forwarding address, no phone number...nothing and that was 18 and 15 years ago respectively...haven't heard from them or about them ever since.

For 5 years I cried my heart out and then, I buried their picture in a grave and performed the 'last rites'. It was over.

That is so confusing.It makes no sense as to why they turned against you.
Maybe that is the block,you don't know why it happened.

My story is a bit of the same stuff, as my daughter thinks another man is her father.He is her Dad and they are family but I wonder would it benefit her to know me ,but at the expense of a big family secret being revealed

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I related my entire tale of woe above and I am also sorry to read of your experiences.

Don't be sorry for me as It awakened me and nothing else would have.I am not sorry just a bit unsure.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by barrynu

That is so confusing.It makes no sense as to why they turned against you.
Maybe that is the block,you don't know why it happened.

My story is a bit of the same stuff, as my daughter thinks another man is her father.He is her Dad and they are family but I wonder would it benefit her to know me ,but at the expense of a big family secret being revealed

I don't know either, my friend and all I could ever think of is that karma made an error somewhere along the line.

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I don't know either, my friend and all I could ever think of is that karma made an error somewhere along the line.

I don't think there are errors at this shakti level.
perhaps you and I were **** parents in another life and karma is balancing itself out by giving us family type pain but at the same time it has given us tremendous love from God