Can't go on like this

Ok, so I am going to post this to finally let this out and I am PLEADING for someone to help me through this. I will try to keep it short although it is a very lengthy relationship. I met my neighbor 4 years ago after My wife and I moved. We instantly became very good friends with our neighbors. A couple of days after we started hanging out it became apparent that myself and and the woman really connected and were becoming very close friends. After about a month, my wife and the husband didn't care to hang out as much but myself and "H" were still sitting around every evening and getting to know each other very well. This turned into a best friend situation between her and I and was wonderful to have such a meaningful and spiritual best friend. Three years later we were having one of our great conversations, When out of the blue She looked into my eyes and I looked into hers and something happened that has changed my life for ever. I saw into her soul and knew that she was looking into mine. The connection was so intense, such s strong feeling that it brought us both to tears. We both knew something very special had just happened. We were both in non loving marriages at the time. Make a long story short, I divorced my wife of 25 yrs shortly there after and she has remained in a very unhappy marriage. It has been two years now, and I thought her marriage was going to dissolve but she just let me know they are going to counseling so that she knows for sure she has done everything she can and it is not our fault. I want the best for her but I have an emptiness inside and hurt that is beyond explainable. Please offer any advice and help. I am falling apart and turning into an alcoholic just to numb the pain. I am reaching out with this because I am left without anyone to talk to about this. Please help me move on!

[Lucyan28]

Hi Loneflame, I hope everything will get better for you soon.

Please stop drinking alcohol go to AA meetings it will help you. I broke up a relationship of 5 years with my ex partner 8 years ago and went for that way, two years of alcoholism, it was really horrible, until I had a car accident.

Instead of alcohol try to do some exercise, swimming and jogging are excellent for the health. Also find a new hobbie, hang out with your friends to the movies or for a coffee. Go out and walk in the park. Get a pet, a dog or a cat they will give you their unconditional love.

Many blessings to you !

PS: at the end of the worst storm there is always a beautiful and colorful rainbow !

Thank you Lucyan28 for the kind words. I've joined a gym just to have somewhere to go at night. I want to move to a totally different state and just forget about it all. It is not easy to run from your next door neighbor. We have done the TF dance during the past two years and I just can't go through it again. I am a good guy and just want my life back to normal. I am exhausted, sitting and wondering if she will come back once again.

[wolfgaze]

Thanks for sharing your experiences LoneFlame... I hope you experience some relief soon... Try to lessen your alcohol use as best you can as it's not helping you to work through and reconcile these challenging emotions... I sense you already know that you need to continue to be patient through this and allow the other indinvidual the space to bring about a natural resolution to her relationships struggles - regardless of what the outcome is... Either way there should be some closure...

Hang in there....

[RaysOfScarletDreams]

Maybe speak to a relationship advicer and a counselor?

Thanks Wolfgaze! It is amazing how much better it is to share it finally! This is the worst life changing event I have ever had. I am losing faith in our connection and trying to understand why God we put me through this. I would not wish this on anyone.

[loulou1986]

Alcohol is a MASSIVE depressant so avoid avoid avoid it!!! It exaggerates your emotions and will cloud your judgement massively.
I really feel that your neighbour is doing the right thing for her at this moment in time. She needs to feel like she has tried everything before she walks away. She sounds like someone who may feel 'guilt' quite strongly and so by exhausting every possible method to fix her marriage she will be able to walk away as guilt free as she can (if that makes sense?)
This sounds like a positive for you too because if she walks away without feeling bad or looking back, she will be able to give 100% to you completely.
However you must not put your life on hold in the meantime! There is a big IF here. IF she comes back not WHEN. She may fix her marriage. And you need to be emotionally and mentally prepared for that to happen. So build your own life so that IF she comes back around, she will simply add to your already healthy happy life. Dont wait around for her to make you happy. Make yourself happy so she can come and enrich it further if and when the time is right.
Sending lots of positivity your way!!! Best of luck

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by Loneflame

Thanks Wolfgaze! It is amazing how much better it is to share it finally!

Glad to hear that, friend... Yes writing about your innermost thoughts and feelings is therapeutic and cathartic - it brings everything to the surface where it can be consciously acknowledged and processed, rather than being suppressed and bottled up inside. You should continue to explore writing as a means to help you process what you're going through. Even if you weren't communicating to another person - just the act of writing down how you are feeling can be valuable. But yes there is also a feeling of relief that is experienced when you share how you are feeling with others, because you don't feel so alone anymore in having those inner experiences. There is a sense of putting those challenging emotions/feelings 'out there', and that lessens their charge. I am certain there have been many others who have beein in your shoes or who are currently going through a very similar life experience - you're not alone...

Originally Posted by Loneflame

Thanks Wolfgaze! It is amazing how much better it is to share it finally! This is the worst life changing event I have ever had. I am losing faith in our connection and trying to understand why God we put me through this. I would not wish this on anyone.

That's a very good question. Why DID God put us in this situation?

I don't have any words of advice.. I'm still not "over" my twin flame. I'm sure I never will be. Finding the reason, the lesson, the point, the purpose... maybe that should bring comfort.

[Kiwigirl11]

You are so not alone ,there are many on here like myself who are in the same boat ...At the beginning of this ,i was so down and i saw no way out but trust me things do and will get better ...The first thing you have to do is let go of any expectations,....Soul connections never go as you plan,well not at first anyhow ....once you realise this and let go of what you want it to be and accept it for what it is right now and the lessons and issues it's bringing up ,things really do get better...Good luck x