Married twins - how has meeting your twin affected the relationship with your spouse?

[Kalika]

I love reading about all these connections too. Just to throw a spanner in the works (because the thought is simply going through my mind - and not directed at anyone, though I'm sure someone will become offended and flip my words, because flippers flip - sorry, went off topic)...

has anyone given any thought to the other person just being a user to get their jollies, and then distance themselves when the relationship becomes more real and invading, as in, interfering to the point their wives or husbands or partners may find out about it? Just a thought that popped into my head. It is a general observation and I'm curious to know if anyone has thought along these lines?

[Kalika]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

It is comforting to read about others going through this same experience, finding your twin while (in my case both of us were) married.

I saw my situation as limerence for a long time (before I learned of twin flames). I thought it was all in my head, that it was a love addiction, etc. and that he just must be this way with everyone. I remember the time he told me he loved me and I said the same to him, I was so relieved in part because "this means it isn't limerence!"

Without a doubt it disrupted my marriage bond. But when my twin was separated (and I was too) he avoided me completely. I took this as a deep rejection. It launched my dark night of the soul and my journey toward self love and self healing. I learned about twin flames at some point here. I still doubt the whole thing and feel it was in my head at times. Other times I believe it with every cell of my body and can picture my future life with my twin and our two kids (I wrote a parallel universe thread about this less than a week ago).

My twin is the one that texted me a few days ago that he is divorced when we engaged in a text conversation over business matters. I sent him a business-like response after hearing the news. Then I texted a more personal, well wishing one reminding him of the feeling of hope and the loss of fear he told me he experienced a year ago when he said "I am going to end my tragic marriage." I said I hope that those feelings of hope without fear carried him through. He didn't respond to either of my texts. I understood completely.

It is a very sad and heavy feeling I have, following my first two days of anxiety. I don't know why, but I have this experience of gravity, and deadness. I tear up when I think of his ex-wife, and I feel for her as well as fear her. I feel a dread in having to tell my (estranged) husband the news. I feel death, loss, lethargic as if from a hang-over or flu. Somehow I have a feeling my husband and I will both embrace and cry when we talk about it their divorce. It is just so real and so heavy. It is the death of a dream, to end a marriage.

Part of me feels this is the end of my twin flame experience, as if our lives were like a car on a hill without a break or a steering wheel that rolled down fast, out of control, crazy, finally losing momentum, then slowing slowing slowing, then finally giving up the last inch of movement before coming to a complete stop. Feel like I'll sit in the stationary car for a good long while. Let my head stop spinning.

It is no easy journey. Especially when marriage is involved.

Hey RedBasket I enjoy reading your take on limerence, and I think it was you who suggested to stay away from those 'affair forums' because they were a depressing bunch? Anyway, whoever shared that gave some good advice.

I've come to a new realisation about limerence and spirituality because the parallels are too similar. I'm starting to see all Twin Flame connections as being a limerent experience. Keep in mind it is not always about being one-sided in that, it is not all about being in one person's head (sometimes it is, sometimes the other person flirts and starts the limerence). I guess I am saying that each limerent situation is different, yet, Twin Flames forum screams limerence all the time! The great thing for me is recognising where I fit within each domain (again, people will like or dislike theories based on their own belief structure or whatever).

I'm convinced that TF and limerence go hand in hand for the simple reason being the 'outcome'... each situation involves the person (or both involved) needing to do some kind of inner work.

At the core of it, there is some kind of childhood trauma, codependency, projection, etc. And both limerent people, as well as TF's who have done the work feel the same 'enlightenment' - where life becomes beyond beautiful. So in this sense, they are pretty much one and the same.

Again, just my ramblings on the subject.

Love reading everyone's posts. Twinkle77 I too believe that the connection cannot be severed (whether TF's connect in this lifetime or another). That is why I am not worried about my TF. Because I am sure we will meet again, at some point in time

[Kalika]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

I remember the time he told me he loved me and I said the same to him, I was so relieved in part because "this means it isn't limerence!"

This could still happen to a limerent person.

Please correct me if I have read into this the wrong way. RedBasket I am sorry he doesn't want to have anything to do with you on a person level. Sorry to hear of the marriage breakdown too (his and yours).
My heart went out to you when I read about your car journey. May the head spinning die down, may you find strength to stand tall, and may you find the loving lessons in all of this. Take time with all of this.

Sending you warm wishes