Spiritual Awakening and Sensitivity

[Swirly_Mysnic]

Hi, I am doing some deep work and in the midst of a wonderful spiritual awakening. Spells of fatigue, full spectrum of emotion, and wrapped in love. I’m healing… and I’m seeing the fruits of that growth. I’m not sure what to make of this experience I had today.
I was in a store shopping and I could hear a baby crying… a boy maybe 7 months old. I felt a calling to him. Like… I should go over and try to make him laugh. Eventually, we wonder over to where the baby is crying and there I see him sitting on the floor, and dad smacks baby on the forehead with a shoe he was trying to put on the baby’s foot. The baby is shocked, freeze response- not crying- baby’s gaze meets mine and I’m equally stunned inside.
Seeing something like this a few months ago would have invoked anger, but instead, I felt tremendous sadness. I couldn’t contain myself and quietly began sobbing. I excused myself from my husband and son to the bathroom and continued feeling the hurt and sadness. Getting myself together, I went back out.
I didn’t feel the urge to change, influence, or control the situation because I know that it’s meant to be this way. I’m just surprised by my response to the situation. I’m hopeful this is part of the healing process… I’m wondering if this is a byproduct of a healing empath or if perhaps this is just the way my experience will be when I see child abuse. Feels somewhat dysfunctional. I need to work through the acceptance process but just caught me off guard. My anger has transformed into sadness which makes me feel like I’m getting a bit closer to acceptance.

[A human Being]

Seems like a perfectly natural, healthy response to me - becoming spiritually awakened doesn't mean you don't feel these emotions any more, in fact I'd say the opposite is the case, you feel more than ever. Honestly, I'd say it's a sign of progress that you responded the way you did.

[Miss Hepburn]

I understand your response...we all respond in the moment differently.

I wonder why my first thought was....Seeing myself taking a photo of the baby on the floor
and a face photo of the guy, secretly, pretending to be on the phone...
calling the Police, (not 911), to tell them what I just saw and ''was
this something that should be reported since this
was in public and we don't know WHAT goes on in private?''
This could have been a bad-boyfriend-filled-with-resentment thing.

But, hey, that's just me coming from my background.
But, if your happy with your progress, I'm also happy for you, really.

I feel pretty strongly about men with innocent little babies and even raising a voice, so...
I get that the situation was perfect between these two...yet ...the fact 'I' could have seen all this
could have meant there was a perfect part for ME to play...calling the Police, saving this child further abuse?
Having this man's name on Record.
Also, then, that being part of the perfection.

Another take on this scene.

[Native spirit]

Like Miss hepburn has said we all react differently to situations.
having a Spiritual Awakening wouldn't have anything to do with it
you say you have a son so you would connect to the child because of the mothering nature in you.

Namaste

[Swirly_Mysnic]

Thanks much for all the input on this- I appreciate the alternative perspectives on this. Mom was there and appeared to be ok with how dad was talking to the baby and handling the situation. Lots going on there, but as I said- in the past, I would have gotten angry, probably would have said something unkind. In this instance it was not my responsibility to intervene. What struck me is how no one, including mom, or my husband, or others seemed to sense what was happening… for me it felt like my heart was bleeding out, I mourned the collective unconsciousness and pain/suffering at play. I appreciate your consideration in my beliefs and allowing me space for how I handled this situation. I’m appreciative of how you would have handled the situation with your background and experience. Sincerely, thank you.

[wstein]

Originally Posted by Swirly_Mysnic

My anger has transformed into sadness which makes me feel like I’m getting a bit closer to acceptance.

I think you are on the right track here. There is value at accepting what is. This allows you to act rather than react. Most people simply react to the feelings they are felling without any regard to the actual situation. Emotions are there to help you evaluate situations in your environment, not to make you do stuff.

One of the hardest things to do is NOT act when the situation is 'ugly' yet it's best not to act. Double that when it's someone you care about personally. Some times people are just being abusive. Some times people would benefit from learning a lesson.

[advanced] Acceptance is on the 'path' to detachment. Note that one can go 'too far' and disassociate from what is going on. If this starts to happen stay with detachment and add being present (to balance things).

[Swirly_Mysnic]

This makes sense to me. And like that you have met me where I am at and assured me where I am going. I feel seen. Thank you. I realize I need to work on trusting my intuition better. There are these things my ego still tries to intellectualize and I get in my own way- a type of self-sabotage if you will. I suppose it’s fear trying to make its way in. Awareness is the first step. This is progress.

I think my presence in that situation is what amplified the emotion. I know what it is to dissociate, this is not that thankfully. I know the numbness and hollowness of that state of mind. My goal is to observe, accept, and not interfere with what is— because it’s all quite perfect- the whole lot of it. It’s my judgment and feelings of right and wrong that causes suffering.The universe makes no errors.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Swirly_Mysnic

What struck me is how no one, including mom, or my husband, or others seemed to sense what was happening… for me it felt like my heart was bleeding out, I mourned the collective unconsciousness and pain/suffering at play.

This reminds me of something Adyashanti said, about how the world breaks your heart - it sounds like a negative, but there's something profoundly beautiful in it.

I very much agree with wstein, it sounds like you're on the right track. I think you're right, too, in what you say about learning to trust your intuition, I know that for me personally in my own journey this has been a huge part of it (and, in my case, a hugely challenging part of it, heh).

[Miss Hepburn]

Swirly - you may really like this :) :
Paramahansa Yogananda was asked by his students (in India) -
How do you know when you are getting closer to God?
With no hesitation he answered: When you feel.

For me - that bleeding heart you felt IS God, and His own pained, bleeding Sacred Heart,
and with unquenchable compassion. Always rem what you felt. (imo)

[Swirly_Mysnic]

Thanks so much for sharing how this resonated with you— very helpful for me and truly beautiful pieces; both comments warmed my heart and were very encouraging. I plan to glean more from Paramahansa Yogananda and Adyashanti. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to explore both!