How to get this monkey off my back

[FrogWarrior]

I had what I think was a proper astral projection about an hour ago, and I finally got to see whats been on my back when I'm in sleep paralysis for years, heres the experience:

WHOAHHH now that was an astral projection if I ever had one. It came on slow, as the paralysis kicked in I had to let my breathing go shallow for the intensity of the experience to increase, I opened my eyes twice and things were trippy and yellower than usual but I was still in my body. It started off with me feeling these bizarre electrical sensations in my head and hearing all these trippy alien sounds which sounded pleasant, I love those kinds of sounds but can't describe why. I started feeling hands massaging my feet. The 3rd time I opened my eyes I saw it. My astral body overlapping with my physical one. I tried getting up to move but couldn't. I was swimming in mid air. Now for the messed up part. If that was an astral projection then I got one big astral parasite attached to my back. It had a male voice and was talking to me in this deep, intense voice. First thing I heard it clearly say is something like "I will be with you until the end of days absorbing energy from your 101 centers to these spherical orbs" or something like that. It didn't say it in a hostile way, more in a poetic way. Then the last thing I heard it say before it drilled some kind of suction tube thing into the back of my head is "I really love your soul", it was saying that in a song. I tried to move by commanding myself, thats when this thing positioned itself above my head, I commanded my body to move up but the only thing that moved up was my foot. I tried to get this thing off my back by visualising a burst of energy coming out of me but nothing. Every time I've gone into sleep paralysis for the past few years I've felt things on my back, but this is the first time I could actually sense what it looked like and its bigger than I thought, its taller than me and it feels like a male. I talked to a psychic years ago and she said as she was meditating and picking up things she felt a males cold body pass by her back even though she was lying down. She said she banished it or something. Now the question is, if this is an astral parasite, how do I get the thing off my back? If this is real then how long have I had this thing on me. I've actually been getting back pain and headaches lately. Why I wonder did this thing show itself all of a sudden. I can still feel the stinging from when it drilled into my head. We'll see how much this thing likes my soul when I flood it with iboga. But in the meantime I think I need to do something about it. Before it climbed onto my back, I felt something attach to my rear. It felt like an alien tentacle suction tube type thing. That was an awkward sensation to say the least. But that drilling into the back of my head, I'd be angry if it wasn't so funny. This things hilarious, I don't know if it intended that but the way it talks in a poetic voice and sings, and it talks like someone who has just huffed xenon gas. I can't help but admire it. But I can't have it on my back draining energy out of my rear and head through alien suction tubes, thats just wrong. Deeply wrong on many levels lol. I had some synchronicity today where I found myself staring at some text on the screen saying "sell your soul". I don't even believe in a soul, but if I have one, its not for sale, especially not xenon man with his alien tentacle tubes.


and while hes hilarious, hes a king sized pain in the rear. My back and head are hurting too. For a good while I was hearing "I'm behind you", and the latest one I heard is "above you, below you and behind you" in response to me saying "as above, so below". Now I think I know what that means. This xenon huffing freak of nature had his alien tenctacles attached to the back of my head (above) and below, and the whole time he was behind me. This was the first time I have ever had visual hallucinations in sleep paralysis, and while I've heard things like that in sleep paralysis, the sounds were out of this world, they were nice but along comes captain xenon and ruins the experience by violating my rectum with his parasitic alien tentacles. I remember another recent sleep paralysis experience where I tried to leave my body and there was a hand pulling me, like it was helping drag me out of the body, but then an arm comes from behind and holds me. I get the impression Mr Xenon likes me, but I don't think thats a good thing lol. This is comedy gold, hes like an astral comedian with his musical, poetic low pitched voice
, he managed to make being anally violated by an alien tentacle funny.

If this is real, then what can I do to get this thing off my back? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[sea-dove]

that really sounds like something your mind has created. To remove it, just protect it with with divine light and love (higher energy) and use it to dissolve the thoughtform or whatever it is.i

I think you were after some drama so your mind gave you some drama. This isnt to say that you havent got some denser energy there (headaches usually caused by energy congesting so denser energy) which your mind may of just made it a bit more of a colourful expeirence for you one could say. Any dense energy can be dissolved or gotten off or out with higher frequency energy.

[FrogWarrior]

Nice one. That would explain it well. I got attacked by something invisible a few months ago, that was the first full on hallucination I've ever got so it scared the pineapple out of me. It happened right after I read something about thought forms and thought it'd be a good idea to integrate all my thought forms into myself if they're real. Out of the blue it just grabs me, it felt like something trying to force its way into my chest area. For a few years now every time I go into sleep paralysis I feel something on my back. I don't know anything about divine light and love, how would I do that? How do I raise my frequencies? I have trouble believing anything I don't have direct experience with, can you tell me a technique or something that I can test out in sleep paralysis?

It is a very real possibility that a Spirit or entity has attached itself to you and is using your energy. Do a search for psychic protection. There is a lot of information out there that has proven very helpful for me in protecting myself.
It can be tricking you into making you "feel good" so you don't try to get rid of it. I have two thoughts on it pulling you back from astral projection; One, it doesn't want you to leave your body so it can continue draining your energy. They other is it may be a Guardian angel pulling you back so this entity does not take over your body once you leave.
Either way I think you need to seek out how to get rid of it for good, and the sooner the better.

[sea-dove]

Originally Posted by FrogWarrior

I don't know anything about divine light and love, how would I do that? How do I raise my frequencies? I have trouble believing anything I don't have direct experience with, can you tell me a technique or something that I can test out in sleep paralysis?

Focus on your heart area.. think of a time in which you felt strong love, relive the experience for a moment then send how you feel to your heart, smile at it. Then focus on your crown (top of head), think of a moment you felt in a higher space, uplifted/happy, then imagine smiling at your crown area. Then focus on whatever is on your back. Do the same to it, feel nice energies/love/light higher energies and the focus on that thing you feel. Focus on it with love and higher energies and strongly command. Leave me!!! It should get off or start dissolving with the energy being projected its way by your feelings and thoughts.

[TROUT TRAVELER]

Originally Posted by FrogWarrior

I got one big astral parasite attached to my back. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I have spent several years looking at people and animal photos, checking out their aura.

On a few occasions I have seen things in addition to the aura I would normally associate with a person or animal.

If you are open to it, I'd like to ask that you either post your picture here or if you prefer, PM me your picture so I can take a look and see what there might be to see.

Normally I am sent either entire body pictures of animals (cats and dogs) or a head and shoulders picture of a person.

But in this case, considering your description, it might be a better idea to send (if you are willing) a photo that shows your entire body length.

A side view and posterior view, a frontal view while you are at it. It should show everything from the top of your head to your feet.

You can be lying down or standing up, that does not matter but what does is if you would please be sure there is a white background behind you or at the least, the very lightest color background since aura, etc. colors tend to bleed into the surrounding or background colors.

If you want to speak with me or exchange a message/question or two, first, that is fine. Just PM me and we can at least start the ball rolling.

As I say, I have definitely seen more than just the aura on occasion so I am hopeful that if there is indeed some kind of being attaching itself to you, I will see it.

Thanks for your consideration. Oh, once you have sent me a picture and I reply, you will have my actual name so you will know with whom your are sharing this.

If we do this in the Private Message area I will include my name for you and you can check me out at LinkedIn, for example. I can even send you a picture of myself if that will make you more comfortable.

If we move this to email, the same applies.

I have done similar with others here; you can check my post history if you like.

Thanks again,


TT

[Astral Explorer]

Originally Posted by FrogWarrior

I had what I think was a proper astral projection about an hour ago, and I finally got to see whats been on my back when I'm in sleep paralysis for years, heres the experience:

WHOAHHH now that was an astral projection if I ever had one. It came on slow, as the paralysis kicked in I had to let my breathing go shallow for the intensity of the experience to increase, I opened my eyes twice and things were trippy and yellower than usual but I was still in my body. It started off with me feeling these bizarre electrical sensations in my head and hearing all these trippy alien sounds which sounded pleasant, I love those kinds of sounds but can't describe why. I started feeling hands massaging my feet. The 3rd time I opened my eyes I saw it. My astral body overlapping with my physical one. I tried getting up to move but couldn't. I was swimming in mid air. Now for the messed up part. If that was an astral projection then I got one big astral parasite attached to my back. It had a male voice and was talking to me in this deep, intense voice. First thing I heard it clearly say is something like "I will be with you until the end of days absorbing energy from your 101 centers to these spherical orbs" or something like that. It didn't say it in a hostile way, more in a poetic way. Then the last thing I heard it say before it drilled some kind of suction tube thing into the back of my head is "I really love your soul", it was saying that in a song. I tried to move by commanding myself, thats when this thing positioned itself above my head, I commanded my body to move up but the only thing that moved up was my foot. I tried to get this thing off my back by visualising a burst of energy coming out of me but nothing. Every time I've gone into sleep paralysis for the past few years I've felt things on my back, but this is the first time I could actually sense what it looked like and its bigger than I thought, its taller than me and it feels like a male. I talked to a psychic years ago and she said as she was meditating and picking up things she felt a males cold body pass by her back even though she was lying down. She said she banished it or something. Now the question is, if this is an astral parasite, how do I get the thing off my back? If this is real then how long have I had this thing on me. I've actually been getting back pain and headaches lately. Why I wonder did this thing show itself all of a sudden. I can still feel the stinging from when it drilled into my head. We'll see how much this thing likes my soul when I flood it with iboga. But in the meantime I think I need to do something about it. Before it climbed onto my back, I felt something attach to my rear. It felt like an alien tentacle suction tube type thing. That was an awkward sensation to say the least. But that drilling into the back of my head, I'd be angry if it wasn't so funny. This things hilarious, I don't know if it intended that but the way it talks in a poetic voice and sings, and it talks like someone who has just huffed xenon gas. I can't help but admire it. But I can't have it on my back draining energy out of my rear and head through alien suction tubes, thats just wrong. Deeply wrong on many levels lol. I had some synchronicity today where I found myself staring at some text on the screen saying "sell your soul". I don't even believe in a soul, but if I have one, its not for sale, especially not xenon man with his alien tentacle tubes.


and while hes hilarious, hes a king sized pain in the rear. My back and head are hurting too. For a good while I was hearing "I'm behind you", and the latest one I heard is "above you, below you and behind you" in response to me saying "as above, so below". Now I think I know what that means. This xenon huffing freak of nature had his alien tenctacles attached to the back of my head (above) and below, and the whole time he was behind me. This was the first time I have ever had visual hallucinations in sleep paralysis, and while I've heard things like that in sleep paralysis, the sounds were out of this world, they were nice but along comes captain xenon and ruins the experience by violating my rectum with his parasitic alien tentacles. I remember another recent sleep paralysis experience where I tried to leave my body and there was a hand pulling me, like it was helping drag me out of the body, but then an arm comes from behind and holds me. I get the impression Mr Xenon likes me, but I don't think thats a good thing lol. This is comedy gold, hes like an astral comedian with his musical, poetic low pitched voice
, he managed to make being anally violated by an alien tentacle funny.

If this is real, then what can I do to get this thing off my back? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I'm going to mention a couple things and I hope they don't come off ignorant or mean because that is not really my intentions. First off you keep referring to this thing as alien, what exactly makes it alien though? In my opinion we're more alien in the spiritual dimensions than any being you will experience there. As Human-beings experiencing the spiritual dimensions we are the current foreigners, not the beings who presently and currently live in the astral spiritual dimensions such as energetic vampires and parasites. We are the out-siders, the one's who don't belong, the "aliens."

The thing about astral projection is you're either in your physical body or you're in a spiritual body, there is absolutely no real in-between phases of astral projection where you're inside of your astral body and your physical body is visible or vice-versa. Either you're in the spiritual dimensions and experiencing and seeing things that exist in the spiritual dimensions, or you're in the physical dimension seeing and experiencing things in the physical dimension. With that said what you saw was in my opinion not your physical body overlapping the astral body because in reality they don't even overlap to begin with. In cases where people see illusions of a physical body or the physical dimension it is either an manifestation of their belief system, a distortion, or just a misperception of the mechanics of these alternate dimensions.

The astral body is not some dormant body magically overlapping and following around our physical body. The astral body is a living body with an extension of our consciousness living in it as we speak. It has a life in the astral dimension it exists in that includes friends, family, jobs, hobbies, etc. The astral body and physical bodies exist in completely different dimensions and therefore are NEVER inside, outside, overlapping, or anything of a similar nature. The only thing that even remotely resembles anything close to that idea is our consciousness, that is the catalyst for these experiences and is what actually switches from one dimension to another. The physical and astral body are always in their appropriate dimensions but it's the consciousness that moves from one dimension to another not the actual bodies in a literal sense. Yes the astral body may be capable of going from one spiritual dimension to another but not from a spiritual dimension to a physical dimension. And even in those cases where it seems like my astral body goes for example from a lower-vibration to a higher-vibration spiritual dimension it actually seems more like my consciousness leaves the astral body existing in the lower-vibration dimension then travels or teleports into a body existing in the higher-vibration dimension.

Anyways I don't to waste all your time or my time with explanations of astral projection or the mechanics as your experience with this being are the actual problems, I was just trying to clarify a couple things and hopefully it will give you a broader grasp over the mechanics so that you can combat this thing on a more level playing field, although combat should always be a last resort. Now this whole idea is probably going to come off very unpleasant to you and trust me I can completely understand because I have had similar experiences that are just as unsettling. First off it sounds like you have an extension of your consciousness living in a lower-vibrational realm. I'm not saying all of your extensions do but this specific one it definitely appears to, if it didn't this thing wouldn't even be able to get to you let alone do what it is doing. So with that said it's quite likely that this other extension of yours living in that specific astral body you experienced knows this being, is friends with it, has some type of relationship with it. It's possible that this extension of yours has some sort of sexual relationship with it as well and that was the reason for the whole tentacle ordeal. A lot of the energetic vampires that exist in the lower-vibrational realms use sex as a source of energy and judging from your experience and the specifics involved in it I am inclined to believe that is the case. Your other extension that I am speaking of has probably informed it about you, about the possibility of you controlling that body, and about how to act and react towards you when that happens.

It has happened to me countless times and so I have learned how to blend in, how to pretend like I am them, how to make them believe it's not actually my physical extension of consciousness in that body and let me tell you that is how you actually get to see the dynamics of these relationships and what is really going on. Most astral projectors have call-signs that they always do when a projection begins (when they take control of a specific spiritual body such as an astral body with another extension of their consciousness living in it.) Some people start flying, some people scream out silly remarks in an attempt to gain lucidity or awareness, some people just do simple things that make them stick out like a sore-thumb. For example beings that live in the astral know where to fly and where not to fly, they know where to go through walls and where not to, they know where to manifest objects and where not to. We as astral projectors do not know this and so we fly in an unsafe zone, we try and go through a wall where it's not possible and every being living there knows that, we try to manifest something where it's not possible. All of these are directly giving away our identity and letting any being around there know that we don't belong, that something isn't right. And in most cases that is when they turn to scare tactics, to stuff they know works against dreamers, projectors, etc. To truly understand the dynamics and possible relationship this darker being has with that specific astral body you experienced you're going to need to try and blend in and mask your true identity. Otherwise you're always going to just get a planned out and acted strategy which is usually an attempt to make you end your dream or projection and let the extension that lives in that body go back to being in control.

The suction cup and tentacle thing is something I have experienced as well. It doesn't positively indicate that you're dealing with some spiritual extra-terrestrial or anything of that nature. What we would consider "regular" beings who live in these dimensions are more than capable of taking any form, manifesting any object, making their bodies stick to ours, overlapping our astral body with their body, sticking to our backs or any other part, etc. I am still struggling to understand the dynamics of the relationships some of my "darker" extensions have and why they have them. It's not always a pleasant experience but unfortunately it is one we're forced to experience for a reason. Whether that be past-life agreements, remote and closed off parts of our psyche and consciousness, or other extensions of our consciousness and their sometime strange and opposite lifestyles. Either way I could sit here and tell you about banishments, cleansings, clearings, protection, etc. and all of that but the truth is what you do in the physical dimension rarely if ever has any actual effect on the beings in the spiritual dimensions so I'm not going to waste my or your time. It might have an effect on your spiritual bodies but not those of other beings in most cases. And since our astral body does not always and only exist in the RTZ space overlapping the physical dimension of our house it's quite pointless to keep smudging over and over. The only thing you will do is cause that astral body to go somewhere else and that somewhere else might be even darker, have even darker beings there, etc. So in many cases it can just make things worse. My advice is to try and blend in the best you can, get rid of all those call-signs that make it clear something is different when a projection beings, don't fly, float, go through walls, ask obvious questions, etc. Just try and fit in (in the beginning it's best to just stay quiet and not make a lot of movements unless you begin the experience completely alone) and that will eventually allow you to see beyond the curtain that these beings are using to hide their true reason for being there and what is actually going on. As long as you make it known who you are, what you are, and when you are they will prevent you from seeing the truth because if you don't know the truth you have no realistic way to prevent this from happening anymore.

And the last thing I want to mention is you mentioned flooding your system with Iboga, that will not bother any dark being in fact they will be happy when you do that. That will allow them to sink in their claws even deeper into you spiritually and mentally, it will allow them into parts of your consciousness they have not made it into yet, it will open doors for them that have previously been closed. Iboga or any other hallucinogenic sometimes thought to be spiritual substances should only be used under certain conditions. The tribal people that use these types of things are doing so with countless generations of knowledge at their grasp. They have been trained from a young age how to prevent dark spirits from attaching to them and how to safely use these substances for beneficial purposes. We do not have that knowledge, you already have something attached to you, and I doubt you have an elder, chief, or Shaman with hundreds of years of knowledge guiding you. With all of those held into account I think using Iboga (unless you absolutely have to for a specific reason) is a terrible idea and will just make things worse.

What you're dealing with is some form of dark energetic vampire there are many different kinds. The being said "I love the taste of your soul" or whatever because it has acquired a taste for your energy and that means it is going to be that much more difficult to get rid of it. But the worst thing you could do is put a mind-altering substance especially a powerful hallucinogen into your physical body. The fact that you mentioned Iboga makes me wonder if you have had a previous problem with Opiates in general as that is presently what Iboga is most commonly used for. If so then you have your answer as to why this thing is attached to you, how it likely found you, etc. As using any mind-altering substance will eventually or immediately lower your vibration and attract energetic vampires who can easily drain your leaking and unsettled energy. Also you mentioned about trying to use your energy in this projection to attack it speaking from personal experience unless you're highly experienced at manipulating your energy (even then it's not a guaranteed thing) you will likely just feed it more. The act of attempting to manifest light or anything else makes you expend energy and any energetic vampire in a relative radius especially attached to you will sense it and come and feed off of it. I know most people say "just manifest some light and that will get rid of it" in reality that's not the truth. That light that you manifest takes energy and that energy is food for them, as astral projectors we're really not capable of being talented enough to channel pure light unfortunately. And so our sub-standard light isn't strong of pure enough to do anything more than make them flinch, but they'll still suck the energy up. Anyways good luck to you and I hope you get this problem resolved.

[Lucyan28]

Hello I believe that the "alien monkey" has been created by your mind, the monkey represents the untrained mind, the pain in the back and the headaches are signals of your physical body not the astral, so you must go to the hospital and get checked, my guess is that it's some inflamed nerve. I recommend you to swim, it's a good therapy for the back.

But in case that this is indeed an outsider entity, you must get real will in order to command any entity to get away, do not send love and light that would be amusing for an evil entity, do it with Will and Courage.

Good Luck!

[FrogWarrior]

Originally Posted by sea-dove

Focus on your heart area.. think of a time in which you felt strong love, relive the experience for a moment then send how you feel to your heart, smile at it. Then focus on your crown (top of head), think of a moment you felt in a higher space, uplifted/happy, then imagine smiling at your crown area. Then focus on whatever is on your back. Do the same to it, feel nice energies/love/light higher energies and the focus on that thing you feel. Focus on it with love and higher energies and strongly command. Leave me!!! It should get off or start dissolving with the energy being projected its way by your feelings and thoughts.

The strongest love (real love, not the kind I feel seeing a nice looking woman, this kinda love I can feel for anyone) I've felt was while on a particular substance. I can't feel it while sober unfortunateley. I'm emotionally numb at the moment, I think its depression. When I think about this thing on my back, bad things seem to happen. I had a panic attack a while ago, thought I was about to die or get possessed by the thing. I'm not very scared of the thing, but after getting physically attacked by an invisible thing, I'm suspicious of this lack of fear thing. I suspect spirits or whatever can switch off ones fear in order to lure them into a false sense of security. Maybe thats just paranoia though.

[FrogWarrior]

Originally Posted by TROUT TRAVELER

I have spent several years looking at people and animal photos, checking out their aura.

On a few occasions I have seen things in addition to the aura I would normally associate with a person or animal.

If you are open to it, I'd like to ask that you either post your picture here or if you prefer, PM me your picture so I can take a look and see what there might be to see.

Normally I am sent either entire body pictures of animals (cats and dogs) or a head and shoulders picture of a person.

Yeah cool, I'll PM you my picture. I appreciate it, I've been looking for somewhere to get a kirlian photo taken of me. If you can see auras, I'll send you a pic of me now.

Originally Posted by Astral Explorer

I'm going to mention a couple things and I hope they don't come off ignorant or mean because that is not really my intentions. First off you keep referring to this thing as alien, what exactly makes it alien though? In my opinion we're more alien in the spiritual dimensions than any being you will experience there. As Human-beings experiencing the spiritual dimensions we are the current foreigners, not the beings who presently and currently live in the astral spiritual dimensions such as energetic vampires and parasites. We are the out-siders, the one's who don't belong, the "aliens."

The thing about astral projection is you're either in your physical body or you're in a spiritual body, there is absolutely no real in-between phases of astral projection where you're inside of your astral body and your physical body is visible or vice-versa. Either you're in the spiritual dimensions and experiencing and seeing things that exist in the spiritual dimensions, or you're in the physical dimension seeing and experiencing things in the physical dimension. With that said what you saw was in my opinion not your physical body overlapping the astral body because in reality they don't even overlap to begin with. In cases where people see illusions of a physical body or the physical dimension it is either an manifestation of their belief system, a distortion, or just a misperception of the mechanics of these alternate dimensions...

I was only joking calling it an alien, it was in reference to the thing that got drilled into my rear, it was like something from the movie Alien. The impression I got of this thing is a shadow man and humanoid spider type thing with hooks that it uses to attach to people. You say theres no in between phase, but sleep paralysis feels like a transition phase. Like in this experience, the first two times I opened my eyes I was in my physical body. The 3rd time I was outside it. That might have just been a dream though. I get into lucid dreams regularly from sleep paralysis, but sometimes it feels like its not just a dream. Especially when I kick start the lucid dream, rather than waiting for the free falling sensation that precedes the onset of the dream state. This isn't the first time I had a foot in my face, it happened one day I sat up while in sleep paralysis. There was a little girl in the corner of my room watching TV, but in real life theres no TV there, theres a mirror so that was fairly trippy. I couldn't move, and then there was a foot with a sock in front of my face. That time it wasn't my foot. Strange stuff. I always look to see if my physical body is lying there on the bed, 99% of the time its not and I usually conclude that it can't be an astral projection cuz if it was I'd see my body on the bed. The time I had a confirmed astral projection, I don't remember seeing my body there though. you're not wasting my time, I'm interested in all this stuff so I like reading people who are advanced in it describe their perspective.

Yeah its a bit unsettling alright considering a psychic medium I talked to about it says its a non human spirit attachment which aims to possess me. Thats a fear I've had since I was a kid, demonic possession. This thing isn't scary at all though, if its real, my impression is it doesn't want me to be scared of it. Interesting what you say about an extension of my consciousness having a relationship with this thing. I'm straight so I don't consider a tentacle in the rear to be a sexual thing, I viewed it as a parasitic thing. In the past, I've got felt up in the rear by hands while in sleep paralysis, for a long time I've been getting prodded in the back and twice so far this prodding happened to hit me in the rear and it was bizarre stuff because it felt like I was actually getting a finger in my rear end. I've got these injections plenty of times, it usually hits me somewhere along the spine. That was the first time I'd got it in the head, that was even worse than the rear.

All these things you're saying are real interesting and making me see my past experiences in a different light. One night, I intentionally induced sleep paralysis, when a dream (or an OBE, I don't know) started, there was someone waiting for me. It was a naked woman (she looked around 20 or so), she came up to me and she looked like she knew me, she had this puzzled look on her face when I panicked and attacked her. I woke up kneeling on my bed (the position I was in in the dream) and for good 5 seconds I could still see this girl standing at the end of my bed staring at me with this puzzled look on her face. If what you're saying is true, then maybe this girl knows one of my astral extensions. It looked like she wanted to have sex with me, but I was still paranoid from the menacing sleep paralysis hallucinations, I attacked her when she tried to get close. When she came up to me, she went to grab my legs and she looked excited to see me. It was like she was either a good friend, or a girlfriend or something. It was the second I started to get up that she came at me. If hope this happens again, I'll just go with it and try blend in and see what happens.

As for iboga, this is one of those things I intuitively know but can't describe. I get flooded with altruism when I'm on that substance, the Bwiti tribe believe it wreaks havoc on evil spirits because the plant has such a divine, holy spirit to it. I recommend looking into it, anyone with experience with it knows what its about. It mercilessly rips into you and shows you all the negative things you've done as a result of your ignorance, its like it says "heres all the ways in which you've been messing up, now deal with it". You're right about the shamans knowing how to use these substances properly though, in Amazonian cultures its not just curanderos (shamans who use the substance to heal people and do good thigns) that use ayahuasca, the brujos use it too. Doing it in a non ceremonial setting, without a curandero with you can make things much worse. I've only done it with the Santo Daime church so far.