I'm just posting on here because this really was/is odd for me, and I'm looking for insights. This morning I woke up a bit earlier than I intended too. (Off work today, no big plans, and I intended to sleep in a bit longer.) As soon as I work up though I looked at the clock and still tired and seeing no reason to get up, I decided to roll over and lay in bed a while. I must have been far more tired than I though or something because almost as soon as I thought that, I started too doze off again. I was however instantly aware that I was not falling asleep "right" or completely. Within a very short time I had the felling of falling and spinning, yet still in my bed. I was getting almost dizzy feeling, and trying to move was suddenly far more complicated. I didn't feel fully attached to or within my physical body, and yet |I was just as completely aware of it and it's position in my bed. Strangely in that instant I thought that the way I was laying could not possibly be comfortable and I struggled to move to a different position. As soon as I'd succeeded in moving though, it all just got worse. Suddenly I was completely aware somehow of the possibility that I would take off completely away from my body, and it occurred to me fully that that was the very LAST thing I wanted to let happen at the moment. I didn't feel right. I was panicked, and dizzy and, lacking control. I certainly hadn't been trying on purpose at that point, and I suddenly wondered vividly what on Earth I had been thinking to try this on purpose at other times.
Well I woke myself right up quickly and instantly I climbed out of bed and stood with my feet firmly on the floor. I was still so freaked out by who only knows what exactly. I could not even imagine getting back into bed and tryingf to get a bit more sleep. No way. I got dressed and went on to start the day. Even typing this now an hour later, I still feel quite startled and I still can't quite put my finger on what exactly caused that complete panic. I still can't imagine having to go back to sleep. I'm just thankfully this wasn't two am or some crazy hour because then I could have been up all night. I'm just as thankful it was daylight out side. I'm an adult woman. I live on my own and have for years. I hold a job and have a life. Yet here I am admitting to basically being so freaked out of something that I couldn't go to sleep again after that.
So that leads me to ask a question that this whole thing brought me to wonder after |'d finally managed to think clearly. I know I have come close to projecting before. Actually when I think it over I realized I have been much closer than I might have been today. I've been close to it and instead of completely panicking to the point where i can't go back to sleep, I've simply found it all amazing. Some experiences have been almost fun in away. What the heck made me completely lose it this time? Furthermore I feel like it should have known better than to suddenly panic like that. I've been into this subject for years? I know I should know better. This was a BIG set back in my attempts and Ii know that. I'm sure I will change my mind again at a later date and decide to try again, but at this moment I have to admit to thinking I may be done with this whole subject by my own choice. Or at least I may not ever try it again myself. This is ridiculous. I don't even know what exactly scared me this bad. It was nothing truly obvious or clear that would have done it.
I have to admit that by now, as I've gotten to the end of my post, I feel quite silly on top of everything else. Yet I can't help my feelings or reactions and I am very curious about this. If someone happened to have some advice or insight for me I would be most thankful.
What was that all about? (a question about sudden panic)
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