I miss my twin flame but telling a shrink about my experience got me diagnosed...?

[Meiotribe]

It happened in 2013. I was 17. I still love her. I know it was real because she felt it too. We talked about it. In fact I talked to her recently not that recent, about a year ago and she got diagnosed with bipolar.

I'm a girl too and we didn't want to continue the relationship because we are both Christians and its wrong to be lesbians. We love each other very much however and it was an unanimous decision to leave the relationship. Recently I couldn't bear being without her anymore so I went to a shrink and told him everything and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia no matter how many times I told him that she felt it too.

Now I have to take medications which suck because they dampen my creativity and I want to be a script writer. What should I do? No 1- I have to take my medications or they will place me in a ward. No2- I miss her but we agreed to lose each other forever unless fate brings us together again, I miss her so much what do I do?

Originally Posted by Meiotribe

I'm a girl too and we didn't want to continue the relationship because we are both Christians and its wrong to be lesbians. We love each other very much however and it was an unanimous decision to leave the relationship.

Excuse me, but where in the Bible is lesbianism proscribed? Male homosexuality is but not female as far as I remember.

But there it is, priests cherry pick bits from the Bible they want to impose on their followers. Jews and Muslims proscribe male homosexuality and pork for reasons given in Leviticus IIRC, Christians don't bother with the pork rule.

And again, remember those same priests thanks to Moses are taught to regard menstruation as making a woman "unclean". If you want to believe that...well, it's up to you.

Recently I couldn't bear being without her anymore so I went to a shrink and told him everything and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia no matter how many times I told him that she felt it too.

Now I have to take medications which suck because they dampen my creativity and I want to be a script writer. What should I do? No 1- I have to take my medications or they will place me in a ward. No2- I miss her but we agreed to lose each other forever unless fate brings us together again, I miss her so much what do I do?

May I ask - before you went to the shrink were you impaired in other respects? Unable to communicate? Unable to do your job? (Hardly likely if you were trying at script-writing?) Because if not, perhaps a second opinion might be worthwhile. (I mean, it could be that you do suffer from this ailment but over your love for this girl??? Could that be true?)
Your medication? All shrinks can do is cosh you with drugs that will suppress creativity and a few other things; will power is another. It's a bit like using an elephant to crack a nut.

Now, I'm a Brit so I might be talking out of turn here but psychiatry in the USA seems more dangerous than the UK, there are less patient safeguards. But I was going to ask: what happens if you stop taking the medication? Is it possible just to stop it without weaning yourself off (as needed with some anti-depressants)? Because it does seem, if you were basically doing ok before seeing the shrink, what good does the medicine do for you? Certainly you won't want to risk destruction to your creative aims.

If I may say so, a talk with a therapist or a second medical opinion might be in the offing. Let's see what others have to say....

[Universal.Vibe]

Originally Posted by Meiotribe

Recently I couldn't bear being without her anymore so I went to a shrink and told him everything and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia no matter how many times I told him that she felt it too.

Now I have to take medications which suck because they dampen my creativity and I want to be a script writer. What should I do? No 1- I have to take my medications or they will place me in a ward. No2- I miss her but we agreed to lose each other forever unless fate brings us together again, I miss her so much what do I do?

Just don't take them? But pretend you do?
90% of this forum would be diagnosed as schizophrenic if we didn't keep to our self about everything, it's painful to live a lie but it's really the only way.

Also don't come off them instantaneously as the backlash really could land you In trouble.

There is a thin line between the enlightened and the crazy, I don't think you are crazy you just need time to find your bearings.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It's a bit like using an elephant to crack a nut.

I love this metaphor, it's like nuking the whole area when all you really need is a small squad of highly trained ninja.
Drugs are blanket solutions to specific problems but psychologists are out of their depth a million fold when it comes to the spiritual.

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by Universal.Vibe

Just don't take them? But pretend you do?
90% of this forum would be diagnosed as schizophrenic if we didn't keep to our self about everything, it's painful to live a lie but it's really the only way.

Also don't come off them instantaneously as the backlash really could land you In trouble.

There is a thin line between the enlightened and the crazy, I don't think you are crazy you just need time to find your bearings.

There's the possibility of blood tests, however I'm not sure if blood tests could tell if they're in her system or not.

Get a second opinion, but also yes don't go off of them suddenly... Could lead to seizures, and emotional difficulties.

I'm truly sorry you're facing this.

Do you think you'll ever get over her?

I will share a bit of my story with you. I recognized who my twin flame was almost 11 years ago. It took me 10 years to be certain I am past that stage in my life. I can think of her and not be brought into tears and despair. I never thought I would get over her. Ever... basically i kept believing that she would be the reason I was sad for the rest of my life. I felt like you described for ten years, that was a horrible dark place to be. The only thing I feel now is a small amount of regret of not believing that the things my TF told me... I could have not wasted ten years of this one life, on someone that doesn't care about me.

I just want you to know that you can pull out of this. The pain won't last forever. I believe in you.

Take care. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask here.

P.s: there's a reason gay marriage is legal now, at least in the us. God forgives our sins and loves anyone anyways, even if it was a sin.

[happyhaunts03]

I have to recommend staying on your medication. If you have been told you will be put in a ward otherwise, there's a very strong chance that there is a good reason the medication was prescribed. Perhaps you could ask your psychiatrist to look into adjusting your dose or trying a different medication.

My uncle has been diagnosed schizophrenic. He feels like he's fine without the medication, but the reality is that he is homeless, cannot hold down a job, thinks he owns the city we live in, and is now in trouble with the law. It didn't start that way. At first, he just had moments that seemed odd and was otherwise very successful in his career and life. But it's a degenerative condition and can progress rapidly.

As for missing her, ask what it is you miss about her. See if you can find people who can give you a bit of what you're missing. It won't be the same, but you might find something wonderful in a different way. If you're brought back together, great, but if you agreed to stay away from each other, I think it's best to stay away. If you're truly twin flames, this is the separation part where you look inward and find the peace and love within yourself. So, do what you need to in order to unlock what's inside you.

Being lesbian may or may not be a sin. I understand that some Christians believe it is. But, quite a few Christians don't share that belief. My grandfather was a minister and always welcomed everyone as God's children. In fact, there are many Christians who are also lesbian/gay. So, in that regard, you could always explore other churches and sects within the religion to see what else is out there.

[Universal.Vibe]

Originally Posted by happyhaunts03

I have to recommend staying on your medication. If you have been told you will be put in a ward otherwise, there's a very strong chance that there is a good reason the medication was prescribed.

This is going to sound like some catch22 logic but there is a strong correlation between people that take the medication and people that are actually ill.
But in reality we live in a catch22 world.
(we also live in a world where certain industries thrive on the illnesses of others, big pharma etc)

I can already tell that Meiotribe is completely fine everything they said is completely coherent, just anybody that goes to a psychiatrist saying they have psychic experiences is going to get to get an automatic diagnosis for schizophrenia (under the premise that it's delusional thought)

To get all scientific on the matter anti-psychotics block the receptors of the the neurotransmitters dopamine that's all fine and well when things are genuinely out of control but somebody that is having a spiritual awakening is also going to have raised dopamine levels but the difference is its not permanent and aslong as they know that then things will be okay once everything settles down. Now the problem is that anti-psychotics have a secondary effect of hyper-sensitization of those same dopamine receptors so if you come off them suddenly boom! You are going to be in trouble because spikes in dopamine are related to psychosis. Sure there is a thin line between spiritualism and genuine psychosis but having a psychic connection with another human is definitely not psychotic but definitely considered it in the eyes of any classically trained psychologist (repeating my self I know but I'm trying to get a point across)

@Meiotribe, my advice to you is find some sound minded spiritual friends online that can help support you and won't think you are crazy. Maybe get really into witch craft or something, I mean in the end it's only a bit of fun. But the point is people can balance the spiritual side of things with a normal life and these are exactly the people you want to make friends with.
(Also about the medication, you are going to get split opinions on this matter and it's going to make dealing with the matter really hard because some people will tell you one thing and others will tell you the opposite but In the end it's upto you, but right now the mental health institutions are basically blackmailing you into taking a mind altering drug and your only defense right now is basically to lie and slowly wean your self off)

[jro5139]

One delusional thought (especially this one) is not enough to diagnose with schizophrenia. Either something is seriously off here or there is more to the story than you're telling us. You don't have to either, but really evaluate if you have delusions or hallucinations beyond thinking someone likes you that might not. Have other people indicated that you might? You have to be careful here, because if you really were schizophrenia you wouldn't be able to evaluate your own thoughts like that.
Get a second opinion and evaluate whatever the reason is that you were diagnosed. If there are other reasons that you don't want to talk about on here, feel free to pm me, I can at least help you figure out if the diagnosis is right. Be careful, getting off meds is tricky but being on the wrong meds can make a person worse.

Also, I completely believe in Jesus and his message, but I think if he came back and saw the religions that have been made in his name, he'd be appalled. But that's just MO.

Originally Posted by Meiotribe

It happened in 2013. I was 17. I still love her. I know it was real because she felt it too. We talked about it. In fact I talked to her recently not that recent, about a year ago and she got diagnosed with bipolar.

I'm a girl too and we didn't want to continue the relationship because we are both Christians and its wrong to be lesbians.

If I may also add, you really face two choices: leading a lonely life without an honest and open love - or you'll have to broaden your beliefs and really think about this piece of Christian doctrine.

I can't speak for the USA but the Protestant church in the UK has broadened a lot, admitting homosexual priests of both genders. A new piece of doctrine crept in somewhere that made it possible. So...if they can do it they can hardly censure "their flock".

♥

[7luminaries]

I once went to a broad minded discussion of the ancient texts regarding why it was that male homosexual practices was considered an "abomination" like incest or bestiality or ritual religious sex at pagan temples with either gender, etc., whilst no prohibition against female homosexual practices...this was merely frowned upon.

The consensus by this rabbi who was also a practicing lawyer and a man of immense learning was that it had to do specifically with acts of penile penetration. He saw it as getting at the same sort of thing as the "abomination" of Onan ("pulling out" or spilling of the seed to avoid pregnancy and thus to use Tamar as a vessel for lust and getting off without truly engaging = taking full ownership for what can happen when you have sex). Thus, the real "sin of Onan" is not about masturbation per se IMO but rather the degraded use of Tamar's body purely as mental fodder to get off, without involving his heart...pretty tough though when marriages were arranged, LOL...)

In other words, all of these practices were considered exploitative, desultory, utllitarian sexual acts whereby others are used and violated in the act of a man getting off. In particular, the many "others" typically were not in a position to freely consent (children, temple prostitutes, animals, women whom you didn't love but were married off to you and whom you could legitimately rape within marriage as your perogative, etc).

Because of the prevalence in the ancient world of ritual gay sex as well as hetero sex as a part of various pagan customs, it too was seen as exploitative. I think whilst it seems to have been painted with very broad strokes, I can see the underlying rationale...which is that without channeling the male sexual urge though the heart and mind, it is fundamentally amoral and destructive and simply seeks to spread outward and gratify itself on whomever and whatever is available or at hand.

So, it is within the process of cultivating one's full humanity and channeling sexual urges through one's centre (heart/mind/soul) and expressing them in alignment with who we are at centre that the sexual impulse is aligned with the true, the good, and the beautiful...i.e., with who we are at centre.

Now...the detail that doesn't resonate with many of us today is that if folks are committed long-term and love one another authentically (seek and actively support one another's highest good, full stop, simply for who they are)...what's the problem? Folks who commit freely in love should be supported, IMO.

I think we know the crux of the issue and it's nothing to do with being gay per se. Most men are straight, after all, prison time and similar aside. It has to do with channeling the male sex drive in healthy ways, avoiding egregious abuse, exploitation, and general use of others as spooge vessels. IMO the better part of humanity does realise it is an ongoing, lifelong challenge or struggle for many if not most men to handle in consistently healthy and sustainable ways throughout the ups and downs in their lives.

Our western cultures IMO don't support male sexuality in its healthy and sustainable integration over the course of their lives...and that, IMO is the crux of the real problem. We see the fallout literally everywhere and at all levels of society. Historically I hardly believe it was too different, but sexual (& nonsexual) assault, rape & abuse were more hidden, typically.

IMO when sexuality is channeled through authentic love, which considers the highest good of the other equally to the self (& vice versa), we will have no need to scapegoat anyone for their preferred gender when they are committing in authentic love and having sex with a beloved and committed partner. Right now, IMO, that's what's going on...we scapegoat certain portions of society to avoid looking in the mirror.

So...as far as following your heart and mind in your relationships, I would say be true to yourself and perhaps try to come to a better understanding of the fundamental meaning of these "rules"...versus the particulars which are perhaps outdated and or/were applied historically with a very broad and very heavy hand. To be honest...if you follow Jesus, his focus was on compassion and forgiveness and on abstaining from judgment of others without due cause. You may need to focus on Jesus and his teachings and de-emphasise the institution of Christianity as a religion.

Peace & blessings
7L

[anditmakesmewonder]

Originally Posted by Meiotribe

It happened in 2013. I was 17. I still love her. I know it was real because she felt it too. We talked about it. In fact I talked to her recently not that recent, about a year ago and she got diagnosed with bipolar.

I'm a girl too and we didn't want to continue the relationship because we are both Christians and its wrong to be lesbians. We love each other very much however and it was an unanimous decision to leave the relationship. Recently I couldn't bear being without her anymore so I went to a shrink and told him everything and I got diagnosed with schizophrenia no matter how many times I told him that she felt it too.

Now I have to take medications which suck because they dampen my creativity and I want to be a script writer. What should I do? No 1- I have to take my medications or they will place me in a ward. No2- I miss her but we agreed to lose each other forever unless fate brings us together again, I miss her so much what do I do?

There are some psychiatrists that are into the spirituality field, they're not the majority but if you look after them you'll find some. They usually combine both medical and spiritual treatments and therapies. If one of these still diagnose you then it may be the hard truth. If you went to a man/woman of science and only science, obviously they'll think you're schizophrenic, having erotomania if you talk telepathy, signs, etc. But also, like someone said, believing someone loves you may just be a sign of unrequited love and not lead to a diagnosis unless there's more to it then what you're saying.

I also have an uncle with this diagnosis and he's gone downhill because he doesn't want to follow a treatment plan and he's very, very hard to deal. He's totally losing affinity and respect to his own family, to us relatives first, and now has poor consideration for his son and daughter but is still obsessed with his wife even though she has abandoned him many years ago and only appears to get his money. Anyways when she doesn't get he gambles it all way. Really, it must be more than 20 years and he will still be in love with her while his life is going away from him. The only reason he's not homeless is because of his mother that still cares and supports him, otherwise who knows if he would stay alive.

I do not know or believe that he has any beliefs of any spiritual nature.

Anyways, even the spiritual crowd agree that it's best if the diagnosis is proper to take the medications, go to therapy and seek spiritual treatment in case it may have some issue connected to past lives, old enemies, past lives traumas, etc. (if you don't believe any of this, just stick to the medical treatment, if you believe spirituality mix the two treatments, just don't abandon it)


As far as spirituality and religion goes, most people here and other places would ended up being diagnosed as somewhere there in Schizotypal personality disorder.

That's why I said to you to choose well your doctor. I talked to my psychologist about how I can't seem to adhere to any religion and so on and she tried to convince me that spirituality was a good thing while at the same time she didn't try to lure me into none. Just wanted me to connect to the universe and creator in some way.


If you share the same love I see no reason why you'd split. Years went by, if you still feel the same and are now adults you could talk to each other n see how it goes. If things haven't change and love is still there I wouldn't let a religion stay in between or the family beliefs. If you read into the beginning of christianity you soon stop seeing it as the super sacred thing they claim to be. Really, its history is far, very far away of anything Jesus might have said or wanted. I just hope you're not being pathologized for being gay by your family that wants to fix u up.

You say she loves you back, she could prove it to your doctor, otherwise he'll think its on your head. If she's closeted and hide it all, it makes matters worse for you. After all she could help you admitting to it, doctors can and should keep secrets if needed.