Being Human

Today I learned my dear friend threw himself under a trian...This made me think hard about things and life....I am devestated but i have been there myself. I feel many people along the path of conscious creation as a true witch will feel this too..it hurts...because we are all one when someone hurts themselves they hurt us too...because we are all one...These are my thoughts today:

My chapel was not made by people. It has no boards, no pews, no cement or nails, no paint. The woods are my chapel. I find more peace in the woods than I ever did in any church. I guess the sounds of the animals, the sounds of insects, the sounds of the water lapping on the edges of the river, these things are the hymns, these things are the choirs. I sit and listen to them and feel more at peace than I ever did when i was little and made to go to church. I guess the trees are my spires, the grass and the dirt, the logs, the rocks those things are my pews. I go to my chapel whenever I feel low. There are so many times in my life when I have felt rejected...I'm not feeling sorry for myself here...but I think about all the people I have loved. So many people I have loved, and not in a romantic way, not like that, It was a love that I have always felt for others, as if they were myself I have felt that all my life, I wish sometimes I didn't, I wish I didn't feel it because whenever I feel rejected by one that I love it's like a part of myself has rejected me.

There was a time in my past when i was so down I even thought about ending it..( a long long time ago not now)....I didn't feel this way because I was angry, it was because I thought about all the people who have felt indifferent towards me or non-accepting in one way or another, and I felt like it was a part of god that had rejected me. I think that everyone just wants to feel accepted, but one thing I have found out in this world is if you share too much of yourself, if you are an open book, others will eventually reject you in one way or another, and you find yourself in the woods feeling alone yet feeling one with all that is loneliness and unity all again as you felt in the beginning.

I told my guide many times.. 'I Love Being Human'. .I love the illusion, but I just wish there was a world or a place within the infinite Universe where you can be human, experience being human without all the indifference, without rejection, without false propriety and all the so called morals people construct to make themselves feel better than the rest of the world. It seems like in this world, everybody, every individual desires to feel better than others. Some do so with accomplishments through education, through rising above the masses and thus they feel superior in one way or another. Some people do it with money, they have got to have more, more than the rest, they collect things about them like cars and items, jewellery, large houses and somehow they feel better whether they admit it or not. So many people who cling to religions and morality do it because they want to feel better, better than those who don't follow their moral codes and in their self-righteousness and in their knowing that they are following what they believe to be moral, they look at those who don't follow their beliefs and they feel superior...all this is an illusion ...There is not one part of the Universe that is superior to the other...nothing better, nothing worse, it's only judgements that make it so.....'Judge not what you see as evil for in judging it to be evil you make it so'..........but not literally!

I have a belief in god too, but to me I believe god manifests itself to each person as a reflection of how that person see's god. If someone thinks god is judging, that god only loves them Conditionally, that god has a potential to cast away.. I believe that is the type of god they experience...I believe that's the type of god they go to when they die...It's not out of punishment but rather if they went to any other type of god they would be disappointed, they expect god to be judging, they expect themselves to be judged, and so they are!.....and they are judged by god until they realize that god is much better. I think that the truth about god, and the universe and all that is so utterly loving, accepting, that people cannot take that in....Its too good to be true....and god loves you and accepts you and makes you his own unconditionally, its too good to be true...so they make god look less and they themselves act less, they reject people, they reject what they judge to be bad and so they expect god to do the same, and I believe god reflects back to them their beliefs until they come to a realization that that’s not loving, that that’s not the ultimate state.

I once asked my guide.. I said...' When I die and I go to the astral world so many people think its an actual place, I said, so many think it's like being human but in a different place, is this the way it is?' ...and my guide told me the truth of what it is, it's not like that, all things are flowing, it's like somebody put a rainbow in a blender, flowing colours, flowing lights, he told me that the parts of the astral world where there is form and shape are the lowest parts, but there are parts of it that are much higher and he told me that when I die those are the parts I will experience....It sounded glorious but not really as part of me was sad when he told me that, because I had always pictured that I would be able to find a place beyond this life where I could still be human but without all the rejection, all the sadness.

I love being human, the human experience would be so wonderful if humans didn't srew it up so much! It would be wonderful to be human if humans didn't cause the world so much pain. I wonder what it would be like if everybody was empathic, I am not saying psychic and intrusive in other peoples thoughts, I didn't mean it that way...but empathic...What if it was that you felt the emotions of other people as your own emotions? How would that make the world change? Could you cause others to feel shame, could you reject others, would you be able to cause others pain in your actions, if you felt the pain of others as your own? If I could change one thing about the experience of being human I would make it so every person could feel the emotions of the others. The world would be such a better place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag_vltbWHz8


Thankyou for listening to me today as i am hurting and i appriciate it.

Blessings and love


Storm xxxxxxxxx

[Shadow Wolf]

Hello Storm,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your words are beautiful and show much wisdom.

Be kind and gentle with yourself at this time.

Peace and love