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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #11  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:05 PM
fieldingmellish fieldingmellish is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 35
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mused
what she feels for that guy is just raging hormones. that is not love.
i recently went through that with a friend of mine. [she had 'those feelings' for some guy at work]
let's just say that the guy wasn't interested in her romantically, just wanted to get laid.
in the end she quit her job [too demanding and she nearly fainted there, she really couldn't do it anymore].
now a few months later, she doesn't even think of the guy anymore..

if my friend told me 'she's awakening spiritually' because of some guy i would have dragged her to the mental ward. i don't think marital counseling will work. :(
unlike men, women are very emotional because they pass through too much hormonal changes in a very short period of time.

i'm sorry you have to be in this situation, i know it is not pleasant.
i think the only way to salve your marriage is for her to stop working there, and find another job. it is not ideal to live in a sexless marriage, but it can be done.
at the same time, if you and her have constant fights, and can't seem to get along at all, separation is better. you have to think of your child and her needs come first seeing how young your kid is. and your wife should also think of her child's needs.

not much help here.. just wanted to tell you you're not alone.

Just want to clarify: it's not an office situation where she is seeing this guy everyday. It was an event that lasted a few weeks. According to her, she hasn't seen the guy since the event ended. Not that it matters, but whatever.
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  #12  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:27 PM
Ghost_Rider_1970 Ghost_Rider_1970 is offline
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Location: Manchester, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldingmellish
Hi everyone.
I've been married to my wife for 5 years, together for 10.
we have a 4 year old together.
Ever since we've met, she has been spiritually active, devouring new age/self help texts like "The Secret," etc.
We had what I thought was a healthy, happy relationship and family.
About 2 months ago, at a work-related event, she met a guy whom she felt an intense "connection" to (no affair). (In his defense, it seems like he was probably oblivious to her feeling these things)
Apparently the connection/attraction was strong enough that it triggered an intense emotional response from her, which I've learned is her "spiritual awakening."
She is pulling further and further away from me, and our marriage now hangs in the balance.
She has basically said that her love for me has transitioned from romantic to platonic. We haven't really had sex in a while and she doesn't seem to want to be around me very much.
To say I'm devastated would be an understatement, mostly because we have a child together and I don't know how all this will play out.
I love her very much and want this to work out but also realize I can't be a round peg in a square hole. She's also insistent that because she's on this path to enlightenment/higher consciousness/whatever that I can't possibly understand what she's going through--which may be true. I don't doubt she's having a spiritual emergency but I also don't want to see my whole world crumble.
I also understand the "if you love someone set them free" maxim. I can't force her to feel things for me if she doesn't feel them anymore.
I just find it inconceivable how fast this is all happening. It's like she took a trip and never returned.
I'd like to add that I don't doubt the legitimacy of her experience--she is definitely going through something. But I find it hard to swallow that she wants to throw our entire 10 year history--and family--away because of this spiritual awakening. (to be fair, the awakening isn't all about us--she also has childhood traumas and other issues she wants to work through that have been repressed)
We are hoping to see a marriage counselor this week, but I feel like that may be an empty exercise...her mind seems kind of made up that she's not really into me anymore. I feel scared, isolated, abandoned--and to boot, as I've mentioned, I have a job to do and a child to raise--so I can't just curl up in a fetal position and cry my pain away.
If she wants to leave me, i will let her go. If we're meant to be, we will be I guess. But I just find this all so hard to fathom.
Looking for advice and guidance.

Thank you so much for such an honest and heartfelt post.

I too went though a Spiritual Awaking after meeting my Twin Flame Catalyst. This breath-taking connection tore through my life and my marriage like the most incredible whirlwind.

Although my wife and my Twin Flame knew about each other, and while my Twin Flame and I always respected my marriage (as there has never been any physical intimacy between myself and my Twin Flame) I found myself going down a road that my wife wasn't ready to follow and one that I had to stay on so I could discover 'my search for the truth'.

So I could find out who I really am.

Although this ultimately resulted in the breakdown of my marriage (and ultimately separation from my Twin Flame) I regard myself so very fortunate as my wife and I will forever be wonderful friends. Especially as we both have always been completely honest with each other and have full appreciation of our circumstances following the incredible life changes that this type of spiritual connection brings.

Admittedly I've made a very long story short, and if your wife has met her Spiritual Catalyst (so isn't simply and excuse to be with someone else) then I do understand yours and her position and the difficulty that you are both facing where my heart really does go out to you.

The best advice I can give you - and as difficult as it may be - is that you both engage in in complete, honest communication with the dynamic of each relationship being different so presents its own unique challenges.

I really do wish you so much love, where so many here will help shine a light for you as you walk along what I am sure you see as a dark path
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I am not an individual having a universal experience, but the universe having an individual experience. Where consciousness is the universe experiencing itself through each of us.


Destiny is not the path given to us - but the path we choose for ourselves.

Current resources:
Tom Campbell: Ultimate Reality www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhv-XCff4_I


Currently reading:
Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are: Alan Watts
A Brief History of Time: Stephen Hawking
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  #13  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:39 PM
RedEmbers RedEmbers is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldingmellish
thanks for that. I'm really hoping we survive this, but at this point, I think she's rejecting me emotionally and physically. I'm just worried about how this will affect our child. if SHE'S the one leaving, I feel like I shouldn't have to make any concessions for her.

Absolutely and you don't need to.

If there is any hope of reconciliation, as there was in my own experience the key was to let go... both of outcomes and attachments but to also keep the lines of communication open at the same time.

Obviously it will either work out or it won't and holding onto something when it's clear that it's over is not something I would recommend... you'd just be deleying the inevitable...
In saying all that - I realise though I felt the relationship was dead at the time there was still one small burning ember which must have been somewhat hopeful for my husband.

I found the key in all of this was as I wrote earlier - letting go of expectations but maintaining open communication.

Whatever outcome though, I wish you the best and I hope that your path leads you a positive outcome for all.
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  #14  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:45 PM
RedEmbers RedEmbers is offline
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I'd just like to echo Ghost when he says that meeting a spiritual catalyst (if this is indeed the case) is a vehicle for transformation. It's not an excuse for her behavior - if she is awakening as she says, she is just going through the motions.

The awakening path leads to greater love and personal truth - however that may look and unfold.

Honesty is also extremely valuable regardless of the of the outcome... as it helps to build understanding and hopefully mutual respect of other's paths however they unfold.
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  #15  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:53 PM
Ghost_Rider_1970 Ghost_Rider_1970 is offline
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Location: Manchester, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEmbers
I'd just like to echo Ghost when he says that meeting a spiritual catalyst (if this is indeed the case) is a vehicle for transformation. It's not an excuse for her behavior - if she is awakening as she says, she is just going through the motions.

The awakening path leads to greater love and personal truth - however that may look and unfold.

Honesty is also extremely valuable regardless of the of the outcome... as it helps to build understanding and hopefully mutual respect of other's paths however they unfold.

So beautifully said RedEmbers, and it is always such a pleasure when our paths cross
__________________

I am not an individual having a universal experience, but the universe having an individual experience. Where consciousness is the universe experiencing itself through each of us.


Destiny is not the path given to us - but the path we choose for ourselves.

Current resources:
Tom Campbell: Ultimate Reality www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhv-XCff4_I


Currently reading:
Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are: Alan Watts
A Brief History of Time: Stephen Hawking
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  #16  
Old 10-04-2017, 10:15 PM
Angel44 Angel44 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 146
 
I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm in the midst of a spiritual awakening myself and it is not easy. My emotions are all over the place and I have basically isolated myself....thank God I'm not married. I've often wondered how difficult this would be if I were married. Please try to be considerate of your wife as she did not ask for this to happen at this time in her life. This is what I call the real RAPTURE...you never know when it's your turn.

Give her some space and try not to take it personal. At some point her emotions will balance out and she will have unspeakable Joy and Love in her heart. The fact that she didn't have a relationship with this guy makes me believe he was a catalyst ONLY. Give her space to go through this process and your marriage may be better for it in the end. Right now, sex is the last thing on my mine. I work, eat, meditate, and read spiritual material. It seems as if I can't get enough knowledge. I was never a religious person and all of this was triggered when I met my Twin Flame. It's a difficult yet beautiful process at the same time. Don't listen to those who have never gone through this experience. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster ride. Your wife is not making excuses neither is she being mean to you on purpose. She's REMEMBERING who she really is!!! In the process she has to shed all the layers of **** that has been piled on her since birth. She's a caterpillar in her cocoon. One day she will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. Be there for her as much as you can, love and care for your child...be patient and trust the process.
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  #17  
Old 10-04-2017, 10:37 PM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldingmellish
I'd just like to clarify that this isn't a situation where she's begun a new romance with this guy--or even looking to. According to her, merely being around him and feeling his energy or whatever was enough to trigger this whole kundalini awakening. I'm not sure she thinks this new guy is "Mr Right," but it's definitely someone that caused her to re-evaluate everything she thought she knew. I'm not saying it makes sense.

While I do think she probably has a carnal feeling for him, she swears that this whole thing is "bigger than that."

I do feel like this IS laden with selfishness. thanks for that.

Sorry if I came over a little heavy. I tend to be disdainful of both women and men who "get this feeling" and can't seem to control themselves, especially when they've made a commitment like marriage. I cannot believe someone in any spiritual current wouldn't use this as an opportunity to rationalise, learn a little about their emotional bearings and try to keep a level head. It's about coming to terms with Self, to me. Balance. I honestly understand that it does happen and while I haven't "interfered" with a married person - the encumbrances are not something I'd want to bear; I have had to bat them off - I recall from my teenage that I'm no sainte regards poaching.

As for "Kundalini Awakening...?" I'm highly suspicious. A light comes on in someone's interior, they feel a bit different and they shout Kundalini awakening. I know of people who have really experienced this and what I sometimes read here is, well, questionable. It's part of the dilution of a system that has a very long tradition. The New Age has lifted much from Hindu practices making it out to be dead easy. People use the terminology but "spiritual awakening" is just the beginning of a path to the Gnosis that Shakti truly unleashes. I spent some time with Serpent Power back in college. It's easy to be glib but difficult to prepare oneself fully without (traditional) guidance. It can be dangerous. Which is not to say your lady wife didn't experience the real thing. It does seem to happen spontaneously but rarely. Just that I'm suspicious when this idea is mentioned without the rest of the "system" being evident.

But these are just my views.

...
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  #18  
Old 10-04-2017, 11:09 PM
LittleBirdy LittleBirdy is offline
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Hun. I have a 3 year old child and TF has 2 beautiful toddlers too. We both separated from our partners and honestly i think we are both better parents for it. Your child will adjust and this doesnt mean it has to get messy. Take your experiences from being a child of divorce and use that experience to make it easier on your child. The tension will go, the heart ache will get less. Your child is still young, they adjust better the younger they are.
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  #19  
Old 10-04-2017, 11:37 PM
fieldingmellish fieldingmellish is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 35
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Sorry if I came over a little heavy. I tend to be disdainful of both women and men who "get this feeling" and can't seem to control themselves, especially when they've made a commitment like marriage. I cannot believe someone in any spiritual current wouldn't use this as an opportunity to rationalise, learn a little about their emotional bearings and try to keep a level head. It's about coming to terms with Self, to me. Balance. I honestly understand that it does happen and while I haven't "interfered" with a married person - the encumbrances are not something I'd want to bear; I have had to bat them off - I recall from my teenage that I'm no sainte regards poaching.

As for "Kundalini Awakening...?" I'm highly suspicious. A light comes on in someone's interior, they feel a bit different and they shout Kundalini awakening. I know of people who have really experienced this and what I sometimes read here is, well, questionable. It's part of the dilution of a system that has a very long tradition. The New Age has lifted much from Hindu practices making it out to be dead easy. People use the terminology but "spiritual awakening" is just the beginning of a path to the Gnosis that Shakti truly unleashes. I spent some time with Serpent Power back in college. It's easy to be glib but difficult to prepare oneself fully without (traditional) guidance. It can be dangerous. Which is not to say your lady wife didn't experience the real thing. It does seem to happen spontaneously but rarely. Just that I'm suspicious when this idea is mentioned without the rest of the "system" being evident.

But these are just my views.

...

No, listen--I appreciate your feedback and thoughts. To be honest, I am not a spiritual person (not disdainful of it) so I have no idea what Shakti and Serpent Power are in your above paragraph.

"kundalini awakening" or not doesn't really matter. it's window dressing on the fact that she's not romantically attracted to me anymore. not to mention that this really isn't just about ME at all. it's about her wanting to change her entire life. so i've decided not to take any of it personally and just let the chips fall.
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  #20  
Old 10-04-2017, 11:47 PM
Starchaser1277 Starchaser1277 is offline
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I would like for you to remember to take a breath, release whatever fear you may have in regards to this situation. Focus instead on the love that you have for your child. I know that this situation is causing you such incredible pain, and sadness. You do not deserve to feel this way. I want you to know that whatever the outcome of this may be, that you are strong and brave enough to overcome it. Do not fear the possibility of a divorce, do not fear that you will not enjoy your child enough, do not place that seed into the universe to manifest. Instead focus your attention on that love you have for your child, and the love you still have for your wife. If she chooses that her path is without you, then you must accept it however hard that may be for you to do. I want you to know that the same energy that has awakened within her is the same energy that is within you. You are connected to it as well, and this energy will support you, provide healing for you, and love for you. No matter what this outcome may be you are safe and supported. I want you to repeat those words to yourself "I am safe, it is only change". You are worthy of love, you are deserving of love, you are good enough. You do not deserve to be rejected emotionally.
Please remember to just breath, you will get through this.
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