The rain of doubt...

With all due respect Iamlight (and I mean that because you never put anyone down) I disagree.

Like mystical said, they never mean to hurt us. What we sometimes fail to remember is that we are all living here as human beins, we make mistakes and we do things wrong, therefore we have to accept that even those who we have a connection with are also capable of these things.

I believe the problem is with worldly 'love' and the ideals created by the programming we recieve, to search for this perfection, to search for someone who is 'perfect' ,but there is no such thing...so is'nt that an illusion. Waking up from this illusion is seeing things in reality. Before our twinflame we move from one love to the next because we are not getting what we want. But when we meet our T/F we stop searching and begin trying to work at ourselves and and at helping another grow. Part of the process is that hurt that we go through.

"I generally write back to those saying things that are out of character for a TF connection such as why is my TF hurting me this way or that way well the only answer to this is your TF is not your TF "



I'll go ahead a say the complete opposite. HURT is important, without hurt you will not learn this lesson that the twinflame (or what ever you wanna call it) is here for. I have been through so much pain with him (equally he has helped to relieve my pain) but no matter what I found myself unable to hate. Now tell me that isn't the most wonderful gift to give to someone? to take away their ability to hate? I look back to the days where he hurt me and I cherish them equally to the times hes been my bestfriend and protected me.
I'm also not scared anymore, Ive been through the worst ,theres no-one in the world that can cause so much pain to me, not because hes done the most wrong to me, but because theres no-one in this world that I love more.

Only one that comes close is my mum and if I ever ran across the road or played near the fireplace she would give me the hardest slap. That hurt me didnt it?

We need to stop fearing hurt and cherish it instead.

Originally Posted by Iamlight

for the harmony of the TF there will be no conflict between twin Flame if there is it is out of character

I would just repeat my earlier question. You seem to have a lot of certainty and it's a general rule of mine to check the credibility of the messenger.

How have you come to know so much?

[Kaere]

Everyone speaks from their own experience. And that's the way it should be.

Not one of us ANYWHERE can claim to know exactly what happens with Twin Flames or not, like there's a manual somewhere or because it's written on a website. Or that because it's one way for Couple A means that Couple B is going to have the same experience. It just doesn't happen that way.

There is no manual and no final authority on anything of this nature. The only thing we can be sure of is our own experience - and that applies to everything in this life, and not just Twin Flames or Soul Mates or how you built your house.

[norseman]

LilStar07, there are cycles in this forum. I remember that this was a "hot" topic about 3 - 4 years back which became quite bitter. There are people who subscribe to the idea of Twin Flames and those who do not - pretty much entrenched attitudes.
When I am doing a lengthy post, I tend to work in Word to make sure spelling, etc is ok before I post and then save it to HD. I have a posting on this subject from early 98 which might spark some honest discussion

TWIN FLAMES AND SOUL MATES

As I understand it, the Twin Flame idea is based on a one-to-one exclusive relationship between two specific people.
I see this as not on for several reasons. Firstly, it is anti-life itself. If the proliferation of life depended on specific pairings with no alternatives, this planet would be a dead world. Secondly, it is anti-species development as it would tend to limit choice of mates drastically. Species development depends on wide-scale mixing of the gene pool, not a narrow, restricted mixing. Finally, Mother Nature always builds redundancy into systems so that there are always alternatives. Exclusive one-to-one pairings cut right across that.
You will note that I have stuck firmly to biological factors and development because much of the emotional issues are a human conceit which has little foundation in nature except in so far as to sponsor species development. Because the human infant takes longer to mature than other mammals, it requires the safety of a long-term pairing of male and female. So nature had to provide some inducement for this to happen, hence emotional factors.


Now Soul Mates is an entirely different issue. I see a Soul Mate as one of a Soul Group i.e. a relatively small number of people who have complementary personalities and talents. The mix is synergistic in that the overall value of such a mix is greater than the sum of the individual parts. What I am talking about is the value of true team working, generally referred to as Group Dynamics. Although this is a subject I taught, it is not that exciting so I will not bore you with it. If you have a perverse thirst for knowledge, look it up.
The point being is that within such a group, there are multiple choices available of suitable pairings with a reasonable chance of success. Such groups also tend to have a degree of impermanency so that new blood can be added without drastically changing the overall character of the group. The concept of the Life Cycle is observable throughout nature and society. Soul Group conforms to this, Twin Flame does not.

I present this as an opinion based on my knowledge such as it is and as a framework to stimulate discussion.
Norse 98

Ok DulcePoetica fair enough I know what i know from actual experience I have met my twin in this lifetime and most likely other lifetimes i met her in 1976 and i used to say that we fell instantly in love well i read a post by another that probably fits this more accurately and that is that we didnt fall in love then we were always in love but anyways we spent 11 years and in those 11 years together we never fought it was like a perfet love anyway she passed away and for the next 22 years she was gone or not I was home sitting quietly one night and a sense of familliarity came over me it made look about the room nope nothing there ??? so I went back to what it was I was doing and i her a voice softly within my own mind saying my name I stopped again recognizing her voice so within my mind i answered her she burst into crying and was so happy i finally heard her she told me she was by my side all those years she now has been with me within me sort of bonded to me we talk I even went to a psychiatrist about this i thought i was losing my mind
he asked me some questions about it like so you say u hear voices, how do the voices speak to you, are the telling you to do bad things, do they want you to kill yourself well i told him that the voice not voices is my dead wife and its not external it comes from within my own mind and it forbids me to kill myself or it would make the reason why she is waiting a waste of time she beleives that we are going to ascend the thing is now she is with me 24/7 now and we still dont hurt each other or do bad things to make each other sad or uncomfortable and back to the shrink for a moment he beleives that it could be what i beleive it is that there is things that even science dont understand and that it dont appear to be a threat to me so he did not feel i needed any treatment he even mentioned looking into this twin flame theroy
now i dont know if that makes me credible or not I only know what I know and want to try to tell people what it is like and like the doctor said if this is something like that that I would have trouble proving or disproving it my own experience is what i base my answers to those i try to help.

Originally Posted by Iamlight

Ok DulcePoetica fair enough I know what i know from actual experience I have met my twin in this lifetime and most likely other lifetimes i met her in 1976 and i used to say that we fell instantly in love well i read a post by another that probably fits this more accurately and that is that we didnt fall in love then we were always in love but anyways we spent 11 years and in those 11 years together we never fought it was like a perfet love anyway she passed away and for the next 22 years she was gone or not I was home sitting quietly one night and a sense of familliarity came over me it made look about the room nope nothing there ??? so I went back to what it was I was doing and i her a voice softly within my own mind saying my name I stopped again recognizing her voice so within my mind i answered her she burst into crying and was so happy i finally heard her she told me she was by my side all those years she now has been with me within me sort of bonded to me we talk I even went to a psychiatrist about this i thought i was losing my mind
he asked me some questions about it like so you say u hear voices, how do the voices speak to you, are the telling you to do bad things, do they want you to kill yourself well i told him that the voice not voices is my dead wife and its not external it comes from within my own mind and it forbids me to kill myself or it would make the reason why she is waiting a waste of time she beleives that we are going to ascend the thing is now she is with me 24/7 now and we still dont hurt each other or do bad things to make each other sad or uncomfortable and back to the shrink for a moment he beleives that it could be what i beleive it is that there is things that even science dont understand and that it dont appear to be a threat to me so he did not feel i needed any treatment he even mentioned looking into this twin flame theroy
now i dont know if that makes me credible or not I only know what I know and want to try to tell people what it is like and like the doctor said if this is something like that that I would have trouble proving or disproving it my own experience is what i base my answers to those i try to help.

It sounds like a wonderful relationship, and I am so happy for you that the two of you have found a way for your love to transcend physical limitations. I ask you to imagine for a moment, on that night that you were sitting home quietly, that the presence that became known to you was not that of your late wife. Perhaps instead, it was a stranger, or someone you had just met. Imagine feeling all that powerful love and emotion and tears and beauty with someone you have absolutely no history with.

Consider what it might feel like the next time you see them in person, the type of disbelief and confusion you might feel. Imagine if you see someone new at the office one day and recognize them as the familiar stranger of your soul. How you might be drawn to them, but afraid of them at the same time. Would you dare introduce yourself and tell them you think you are connected to them at a soul level? Not everyone is comfortable with that.

So now imagine years go by, and out of perfectly reasonable fear and uncertainty, neither of you speaks to the other about the strange connection. Or one of you asks the other out and they haven't quite made any sense of the overwhelming feelings, so they are uncomfortable and say no and begin avoiding you. You both try so hard to live a sane, responsible life without the other because it makes no human sense that you should be so consumed by love for a person with whom you have no earthly relationship. You both partner with others. Raise families. But always, the other lives inside you, haunting your consciousness. Imagine trying to develop a normal friendship with someone under those circumstances. Or the violation you might feel when you never become friends, but still they know things about you that you have hidden even from yourself! You don't know how, but you know they know everything about you because somehow, you know everything about them. Surely you'd think you have gone mad. Your therapist will wisely advise you that it is an unhealthy obsession that borders on delusion and all your trusted friends will warn you about the road you are going down, but you won't have any power to stop the falling into each other that will be happening at an uncontrollable and almost inhuman level. The desperation and frustration you might feel as you slowly begin to realize there is no escape and no apparent solution.

In a scenario like that, every encounter or thought of the other might very well cause enormous conflict and grief.

Now imagine that the inner, personal resolution of this kind of experience can transform a person's life. But that kind of transformation sometimes goes more smoothly if we have access to the loving support and guidance of others who have walked a similar path. Thank goodness for this forum. If I could ask anything of you, it would be that you remain thoughtful and kind as you consider that yours is not the only possible way for these types of intense relationships play out. Personally, I view "twin flames" as a metaphor used to describe these unexpected reality bending relationships that burst our consciousness open. But that's just my interpretation of its purpose. I try not to compare my story to others, because we are all basically here because we want help dealing with the challenges of our uncommonly intense personal relationships. I am one of those annoying people that would like to see the term "twin flames" banished for eternity so we can just talk about the dynamics of the actual relationships we are living. Because magic is in the living, breathing moment, not some abstract terminology or expectations.