Too much.....?

[InfiniteFlight]

I read through this thread and I agree with SaturninePluto. As a female, I oftentimes do seek out male friends. I just feel that my energy usually meshes well with males and they tend to make good friends. (Not to say I don't have female friends or those who aren't on the gender binary, but that's besides the point). I will text them and talk to them and share things about my day, because they are my friend and I feel safe in the platonic friendship to just be myself.

Anyway, sometimes these male friends will start looking into things too deeply with me. They will fancy themselves in love with me and start pushing for things to get more serious.

(This isn't just me either, this happens regularly to almost every girl I know and a lot of guys too).

What I can say is this: When someone very clearly and very verbally tells you that they are not interested, it means EXACTLY that. If she's not romantically interested, that means that she just wants to be friends. Consent is everything. Without it, things become coercive and uncomfortable and even unsafe.

I'm definitely not judging you because I know what it's like to have feelings for someone and to hope they like you back. But in this case, she said no. And the best thing that you can do right now is show her that you are respectful of her by not pushing the issue anymore.

I can't tell you how many male friends I have had to simply stop talking to because they wouldn't respect this boundary. And it really was a shame, because these were people that I did feel a nice friendship with and I did appreciate having in my life. But I did not want to cross that line and I had to cut them from my life because they wouldn't drop it.

My advice would be to just stay her friend. She texts you because she does value your friendship. But she's not wanting anything more than that. Will that change in a few years? Maybe. Maybe not. But you can't go into this expecting something like that. Pushing may also cause you to lose your friendship. Don't seek anything from her. Just let her have her space and respect her boundaries. Pushing romantic/intimate/dating intentions on someone when they aren't interested can feel rather scary and invasive, even if you mean well.

Enjoy the friendship. Enjoy life and the journey you are on. Just let things be. Get to know this person as a friend and just keep your heart open to life and it's opportunities. You never know what can happen, so don't attach to any certain possibility. Just go with the flow. :)

Peace & Light

[SkyGodWarrior]

Thanks you guys :) Dont worry I am not pushing or forcing anything. We are friends and like you said maybe it will turn into something one day maybe it wont. I dont know but I will be happy either way. I think I told her that just to test a theory of mines. Usually when I see someone I know in the physical in my dreams they are telling me or showing me something they wont say or do in person and it was strange that I would dream about her after 3 months of not talking to her and just seeing her once.

Anyways I know for sure that there is plenty fish in the ocean! :) Yeah its rough taking advice about these things because of it being the internet and not knowing the other person and who they are and how they are saying things so I try to stay heart centered and read the info as it is. I wish I would of asked more questions haha and clarified that convo but it is what it is. Haha she is probably doing this text every couple days or week on purpose because I do not recall it being like this before that talk. Oh well its all good. Lol most of this stuff I stated is only what I am feeling or pondering and haven't told anyone about so we will see how it goes. haha before you know someone its better to take what they said at face value I guess it only changes when they get to know you haha and thats when meanings flip? lol Ive been told "im cold" and it meant something completely different... then in another instance its winter and we are watching a movie and my friend "girl I like number 4" says she is cold and I am am hot because I have 3 jackets on.

I offer to give her one and she declines and says shes fine.. lol I waited until I saw goose bumps before I threw my jacket on her. Then she was like how sweet of you... lol I dont like confusing messages like that because it may mean one thing or something else completely. aaahhh lol then there was this other girl (girl I like number 3) who said she made out with another guy because he was more alpha.... lol she told me this months later and when I heard that lol I was like *** is that haha I was soooooo ****ed. lol Do I need to beat a guy up at a party just to be portrayed as alpha male lol.... I dont have time for that. Sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings and didnt care lol. I sometimes contemplate just moving to Hawaii and being with nature not speaking or seeing anyone ever again.... lol Girls....smh