Protection against energy of a "threesome"?

Hi there. I wasn't entirely sure if this is an "energy" matter or a "relationship" matter, so I've posted this in both.

I would like to ask for some help, please, from someone who has some time and maybe experience with this.

When my husband and I are around this couple who are "friends" of ours, I shrink and disappear. It actually feels like, in my body, that I am shrinking and floating away and disappearing. I know I am not physically, because they still see me (sometimes), so this is happening on an energetic level.

I would say this couple are more my husband's friends than mine. I used to work with the woman, we were friends, then she underwent a huge weight loss transformation and her personality has changed. So has her lifestyle. And I don't feel comfortable around her anymore. But my husband enjoys them - he talks and laughs and has a good ole time. Not me. I always end up "odd man out" in this triangle they form.

This energetic shrinking happens only when the three of them are together. Is there something about their threesome that forms some huge energy that deflates and disconnects me/my energy???

I've talked to my husband about my growing discomfort around this couple; how I feel invisible and ignored and insignificant. But he doesn't understand.

And now we are supposed to go for dinner at their house in two days ... and I am FULL of dread.

On one hand I want to honour my husband's obvious enjoyment of their company ... on the other hand it is quite unpleasant to shrink and disappear.

I would welcome some ideas of ways I can prepare so I can stay in my body, stay the same "size", and stay present when we go there on Saturday. If any of you have any ideas or strategies to share, I would be very grateful. Thank you!!!

[innerlight]

I would say the imbalance lies within you, and is a projection of your own insecurities you are feeling. Reflected upon these other people. You feel left out and not a part of this group, which is making you feel small and insecure. It does not help that your husband does not boost your confidence with this, and help you to feel a part of the group instead of an odd woman out..

thank you, innerlight, for your reply.

Hmmm ... this leads me to also consider that this threesome/triad somehow feeds off my energy of shrinking and disappearing. The smaller I am, the bigger they feel.

It's weird ... I don't feel this way with any other couple friends or group. I am highly sensitive to energy - I wonder if I'm picking up on this woman's insecurities she carries about herself, and its triggering my own? (Just thinking out loud). She's really different now - very self-absorbed and into her appearance. and not in an empowered or peaceful way - it's like there's this desperate plea for attention exuding off her in waves. And it's activating my fear of insignificance? And I now suspect I still have some sadness about how we are not friends anymore... not that I want to be her friend with how she is now. I'm grieving what was. And I know I don't fit her friendships needs anymore either.

Not wanting to evade any personal responsibility - I'm okay with owning my stuff too. It's quite interesting to see how energies and the unspoken communication has SUCH a powerful effect on individuals and can make us bonkers!

[Clover]

Oh, just tell him you don't want to go, and don't, Lol ( The dinner date). My husband and I use to be polite the first year of marriage,but Fast forward 8 years later with two kids, when he asks me ...wait, let me rephrase, when he pressures me to attend uncomfortable work and friend events ( and they are always uncomfortable). I just tell him to go fly a kite ( I actually use inappropriate language ) However, point in short, if you don't like something that makes you uncomfortable, and your in a space that drains your energy, don't do it. I have already done all those silly group dates and double dating nights out when I was first married. No thanks. Again, fast forward almost a decade, I am older and tired and I want to be alone or with my own girlfriends.

Ha ha ha, Love that attitude! And my husband and I had a good talk about this after the couple left ... he even said we don't have to go this Saturday but ... he is afraid that if we decline too many invites from them, he will lose his friendship with the man in the couple (who happens to be a pretty nice guy, but whose energy is pretty much subordinated by the wife's very strong energy.)

So ... I'll give it another go. This time, I'm going to employ an energy protection strategy suggested by another SF member (just learned what a "psi ball" is tonight from him!)

I also encouraged my husband to nurture his own friendship with the man (he's old enough to make his own play dates) ... and I will keep contact with them to a minimal ... or, like you said, I will flat out avoid it if I can't find a way to stop this bizarre draining of energy when I am with them.

Okay, there is a bit of a mule in me ... "I can do it, I can do it". Promise me you won't say "I told you so" when I post on Monday that I got completely sucked dry, okay Blue Clover? Thanks Friend!

Employing an energy protection strategy is a good idea, also don't expect to get sucked dry, expect exactly the opposite, and see what happens. I hope to hear that you were pleasantly surprised.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by Raven Poet

Ha ha ha, Love that attitude! And my husband and I had a good talk about this after the couple left ... he even said we don't have to go this Saturday but ... he is afraid that if we decline too many invites from them, he will lose his friendship with the man in the couple (who happens to be a pretty nice guy, but whose energy is pretty much subordinated by the wife's very strong energy.)

So ... I'll give it another go. This time, I'm going to employ an energy protection strategy suggested by another SF member (just learned what a "psi ball" is tonight from him!)

I also encouraged my husband to nurture his own friendship with the man (he's old enough to make his own play dates) ... and I will keep contact with them to a minimal ... or, like you said, I will flat out avoid it if I can't find a way to stop this bizarre draining of energy when I am with them.

Okay, there is a bit of a mule in me ... "I can do it, I can do it". Promise me you won't say "I told you so" when I post on Monday that I got completely sucked dry, okay Blue Clover? Thanks Friend!

Haha, aww you'll do fine. Do you have a library or a Barns & Nobles in the area? There are tons new age, Occult, and medium books you can read for free. Every time I take my tot to the library I sneak over to the new age section and read up on all sorts of goodies.

I was reading the other day about the white light mediation bubble you can do on yourself for protection. It's been discussed before by members on here, Id google that. Also, I was reading something really interesting, they say if you feel a person has a strong negative energy presence over you, try not looking into their eyes, but rather their forehead so they won't pass that energy.

Last, look into "Energy Vampires".Here is a mild article about them, there is tons of articles on this topic
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Prote...nergy-Vampires

Good luck, you will do fine.

[Faith33]

Originally Posted by innerlight

I would say the imbalance lies within you, and is a projection of your own insecurities you are feeling. Reflected upon these other people. You feel left out and not a part of this group, which is making you feel small and insecure. It does not help that your husband does not boost your confidence with this, and help you to feel a part of the group instead of an odd woman out..

I agree with innerlight.

Hi Raven...

Hmm....(this is only my personal opinion because I deal with this type of women on a daily basis)

You mentioned that the female has had a major weight loss and personality transformation...
Which of the two personalities is real? The one before or after?

It seems to me, now that she has this new found "confidence", her goal is to make up for all the "lost time" and insecurities of the past...by perhaps (subconsciously) or (deliberately) outcasting people, making herself the center of (much needed) attention.

If I were in your shoes, and wanted to make my husband happy by attending this dinner, I'd go with the mindset of having a good time, ignoring any potential outcasting and just plain enjoying the food! Just let everything roll off your back.
You will see that the night will go by faster and less painful than otherwise expected.

Also keep in mind that the woman's ego is front row and center at this time, so try and humor her...as difficult as it may be.

I've tried this method and it really works wonders...

Please keep us posted...
( and have a good time! no matter what...men are usually oblivious to these situations, so I doubt your hubby would understand, no point in arguing with him)

Originally Posted by BlueClover

Haha, aww you'll do fine. Do you have a library or a Barns & Nobles in the area? There are tons new age, Occult, and medium books you can read for free. Every time I take my tot to the library I sneak over to the new age section and read up on all sorts of goodies.

I was reading the other day about the white light mediation bubble you can do on yourself for protection. It's been discussed before by members on here, Id google that. Also, I was reading something really interesting, they say if you feel a person has a strong negative energy presence over you, try not looking into their eyes, but rather their forehead so they won't pass that energy.

Last, look into "Energy Vampires".Here is a mild article about them, there is tons of articles on this topic
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Prote...nergy-Vampires

Good luck, you will do fine.

Thanks so very much, Blue Clover! And hey - there is something about looking into their eyes that results in a shrinking sensation! So I will look at the forehead instead. You are so kind with all your en-courage-ment ... I'll read this just before we head out Saturday night to soak in a good hit of courage to face them with dignity and peace.

Originally Posted by Hope33

I agree with innerlight.

Hi Raven...

Hi Hope33!

Hmm....(this is only my personal opinion because I deal with this type of women on a daily basis)

You mentioned that the female has had a major weight loss and personality transformation...
Which of the two personalities is real? The one before or after?

"Lucky" you to have to deal with this every day!
That is a VERY good question. I see now that I am still expecting the personality she had before the weightloss ... we used to share wonderful conversations about family and love and women's self-empowerment. Those are all gone now ... she just raises her eyebrows at me and changes the subject when I bring up any topics like this. So did the weight loss bring out the "real" personality, the one I'm seeing now???

It seems to me, now that she has this new found "confidence", her goal is to make up for all the "lost time" and insecurities of the past...by perhaps (subconsciously) or (deliberately) outcasting people, making herself the center of (much needed) attention.

OMG that is so observant of you! She very much postures herself to get attention, flaunting her new shape, wearing tight clothes, lifting up hems of her skirt or blouse to show me (but I really think show the men around her) a weightloss surgery scar or a place she wants to put a tattoo or whatever else she can think of to give her an excuse to flash her bare skin. It's embarrassing - we are not sixteen year old girls!

If I were in your shoes, and wanted to make my husband happy by attending this dinner, I'd go with the mindset of having a good time, ignoring any potential outcasting and just plain enjoying the food! Just let everything roll off your back.

That's what hubby said - don't go in there expecting to feel uncomfortable because then you will for sure.

Also keep in mind that the woman's ego is front row and center at this time, so try and humor her...as difficult as it may be.

I'll try, Hope33 - although I just realized that when her ego leaps out into centre stage, MY ego starts to snarl. Wow. Never thought of that before. I'm not skilled at humouring egos; I usually walk away. But I'll do my best to get creative while remaining polite and humor her little by-plays for attention

Please keep us posted...
( and have a good time! no matter what...men are usually oblivious to these situations, so I doubt your hubby would understand, no point in arguing with him)

You are so right - but I am fortunate that my husband at least tries to understand. And he hears me out despite his perplexity at my explanation. Thanks so very much for your en-courage-ment too! And here...we...go...!