Loving tears of Joy

I've been sleeping over at my SO 's house quite often since he's recently bought a new home. We cuddle a lot and spend a lot of time together but lately I feel a major change going on in me because I can literally feel loving and ecstatic energy/feelings pouring out of my heart. I'm overflowing! I haven't felt that since the days since my rapture but it's coming back now it's just...different because it's directed more at one person than in that detached universal way. I know we have been getting closer but when I asked him about this he says that he actually feels the same as he always does, love but he doesn't feel that rapture like feeling where he's on the verge of tears. :/ I know I'm growing and I've come to accept some new information about myself but this is strong and a lot less transient where this time I'm not even trying to maintain it but it's happening.

Does anyone else have this?

[Captain]

Yeah I get that too when I am in love but don't put bring attention to it, don't compare. The reason why is that it can be very intimidating to those who don't experience the same. It puts pressure on them. Let him just think that you love him very much, the internal bliss is a reflection of you and yours to enjoy. Maintain a relationship with yourself, do not expect everything to be shared.

Originally Posted by Captain

Yeah I get that too when I am in love but don't put bring attention to it, don't compare. The reason why is that it can be very intimidating to those who don't experience the same. It puts pressure on them. Let him just think that you love him very much, the internal bliss is a reflection of you and yours to enjoy. Maintain a relationship with yourself, do not expect everything to be shared.

Thank you, Captain. I appreciate the feedback. With everything going on inside of me, I've requested a break from him. I need to process some things because I'm changing again.

[Captain]

What's going on?

Originally Posted by Captain

What's going on?

I'm not sure to be honest. There's so much going on in my mind lately that I can't make sense of it. I just realized that I hate my career choice and Im trying to start ànew for one. And lately I've been seeing cycles and patterns in my life that I ignored before because they were tolerable. He often use to say that I was pressuring him and had too many expectations and I guess I did. But I'm starting to see that do does he and he always has but I often focused so much ny own mistakes that I never noticed that he put his issues on me as well. Not all of them but he expects me to understand him fully something which I dont think is possible unless he understands himself fully. And I know I will never understand myself fully so I don't expect that from him nor do I feel it fair and realistic to have that expectation of me. It's the constant cycle of things not being "good enough" that I keep feeling coming from him. I use to feel that way too but nowadays I can't seem to take that level of dissatisfaction. No, I'm not happy in ny career but I know that life will never be perfect and I don't like the idea of putting ny life on hold until things are perfect, which is what I feel he has been doing.

All these feelings have been emerging all while ny heart is opening up and love keeps pouring out and I just need some time to process it I guess..

[Captain]

Wow, I can think of worse things to do. Enjoy, and I hope your Bliss fills you always and forever!