Relationships are imitations

[LadyMay]

I've been thinking lately, that a relationship is a lot like an imitation of the union between the lower and higher self. The ego and the universe. People forget about their 'other half' when they incarnate and go looking for it in other people instead. They project it onto a significant other and visa versa and thus two become one. So it's like an imitation of unity. But it's not real, really? Because projections fade eventually and the separation is still felt for what it is. But as long as people desire union (which is always, until they realise the truth) they will go looking for relationships and imitate the process that way.

Thoughts?

[kris]

I think relationships can be a route to unity. But for this to be effective persons in relationships need to grow individually also.

Does it follow that the other half is inside oneself to be found and we do not need to find another person to be fulfilled and reach the real?

[LadyMay]

Kris, I agree. But I think that kind of relationship is probably a rarity due to the level of awareness both would need.

DeepForest, well, it's the way I'm seeing it. What are your thoughts about it?

I have a different way of looking at this. I obviously have a relation to my higher self - the mundane me, here, typing stuff, is an emanation of my selfhood, progressively cluttered with stuff to prepare me to live out my time on the physical plane. To return to my selfhood is a matter of wading through and making decisions about all that clutter, purifying a spirituality with decreasing reliance on the physical, intellectual and emotional attachments to the material.

I can't think this is imitated by my people relationships on the physical, any more than it imitates my relationship to a piece of music or, say, a piece of cake, which may be on the path between here and selfhood, inspiring the sensual, yes, but with decreasing material value.

With people I'm engaging with a material manifestation of another selfhood with a different context and form, making the relationship a play of expectations dependencies and collaborations but with no capacity to experience the others' experiences (or at least, not in a way I could prove). Some characteristics mesh, others don't.

I've long known that in practice an ideal material "partner" is based as much on differences as things in common - having everything in common would lead to abject boredom. Being able to respect another's need for space and an awareness of the "right" things in common are important (to me). It's possible to appreciate someone utterly without having to trust them to work to the same rules. In a way, that's love because it's selfless - it makes no demands of another - not that it happens on every encounter. Some things I (personally) cannot appreciate about people and their ways.

But I can't find points in common with the path between me here and my "higher" self, if you mean selfhood (i.e. what we really are) and material relationships.
I'm always ready to be guided otherwise.

♫

I recently came to think along the same line.. Currently I am much into finding everything good within myself. I realize more and more I do not need anything from someone else. Even if I don't seek things from others I still give much to in return, but it I give automatically because I am happy with myself and not because I seek something particular in return (besides conforming to the most basic of moral and ethics). I guess there are different kinds of relationships even if they look the same from the outside.

[umbridge]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

I've been thinking lately, that a relationship is a lot like an imitation of the union between the lower and higher self. The ego and the universe. People forget about their 'other half' when they incarnate and go looking for it in other people instead. They project it onto a significant other and visa versa and thus two become one. So it's like an imitation of unity. But it's not real, really? Because projections fade eventually and the separation is still felt for what it is. But as long as people desire union (which is always, until they realise the truth) they will go looking for relationships and imitate the process that way.

Thoughts?

Wow, beautiful Scarlett, its true.

I remember the times when I felt all the time extremely alone, although I was with other people, always socializing and stuff.
I was loosing my connection with my higher self. I didnt know how to enjoy my own company anymore.
I was soo focused on others that I could not find myself anymore.
But as I started to accept that I need to learn how to be alone (in my childhood I spend a lot of time alone and I was scared of it) I understood that by meditating and by connecting with my heart I am never too far away from the connection I am seeking in others.
We are all connected. If you are connected with your heart, you are connected with everything. Every person is like a micro cosmos. And they all reflect back whats already in us.
So when people feel alone, they should deepen their connection with themselves, which means being in contact with Higher Self.

(If you get what I meant)

Take care.

[umbridge]

Some time back I thought that there are certain people who I can connect..now I see how narrow minded I was.. we dont need a certain or spiritual people to connect.. we just need open minded people ..

Like yeah, I definitely need people with I can discuss spiritual things, but that does not mean that I dont find common language with people who are not that spiritual as I am.
People can be spiritual even if they do not know anything about spirituality.. and same goes with balance.. some people can be naturally more balanced than those who search all the answers..there is a connection with Higher Self who already knows all the answers we need along the way.

I think the most easiest people who connect with are curious, open minded and tolerant..
You can share your knowledge with them, they have another view point, maybe more practical, but we all know what thoughts are and what feelings are. These are the two big aspects in life what we all understand.

[umbridge]

Originally Posted by DeepForest

Does it follow that the other half is inside oneself to be found and we do not need to find another person to be fulfilled and reach the real?

That brings us to wholeness.

We dont need anyone to fill our blanks.
We are content and happy sitting at home watching outside from the window and we are happy when we are barbecuing with our dear friends.

We dont need to be with other because we feel anxious or could not find peace within ourselves, we want to be with people because we can give, we give the same way to them, as we give to ourselves.

its a beautiful, beautiful thing!
Loving yourself at the same way you love others and vice versa.