Not coming together anymore this life

[FairyCrystal]

Me and my TF broke up just over a year ago now.
It has been quite the year since, healing.
The day after I got the news I went to stay with a friend for a few days, to be out of the house, away from memories, and to not be alone.
She's not the most gentle person in the world, which was exactly what I needed at the time to not sink in pain and sorrow. Her rather harsh way of dealing with it, although with lots of care and really being great and helpful, helped me to shift my focus to my future, my dreams & goals. Because of how she was, I couldn't wallow in self-pity, and boy, did that help!
I continued to do just that; allow myself to mourn and cry and feel the pain, but at the same time focus on my own life, my future & dreams.
I started an online course that could help with setting up my own business, considered a study. I set up my own websites, and in April gave my first online course myself.

Since the breakup we've been in touch via phone 3x and both still felt the bond. He was quite taken aback by that, but then he didn't know what we are.
Each time we were in touch, we immediately clicked again, as if we'd never been separated. That is tough.
In spite of all that, he stayed with the other woman he left me for.

At first I felt there was still a possibility for us to get back together. For some month and a half - 2 months.
I remember TF Tarot reader Nicole mentioning that, there being a window of opportunity for the DM to get his stuff together but that that window was closing fast. For good.
That resonated 100%. I knew, felt, in my system that if he wouldn't within that timeframe it would be it for this lifetime.
He didn't.
The window of opportunity did close. I could feel it.
I know we won't get back together again this life, and I also know it was a mistake, it wasn't supposed to have gone this way. He FU. It was not what we'd agreed before incarnation, but of course you always have free choice.

That's why I'm posting this, I've never heard this from anyone else.
Even thought there are absolutely no ill feelings, au contraire, we are not in touch. I wouldn't want to either. Too much to bear. I haven't seen him since anymore either, which is also good. I think if we'd see each other all the feelings will be there again full blast.
There's no point to that.
It doesn't hurt much anymore, although I doubt it will ever go away completely. I'm looking for new love, I feel I'm ready for that, at least to start dating again. That took me a long time.
I'm hoping to find a really great SM and to live happily ever after :)
It'd have to be a 'high' SM connection though, otherwise the gap would be too big. I know how effing wonderful a grand connection & love can feel. So the new love will have to be mega special as well or it's not going to work.

Just wondering if there are more like me, knowing you won;t come back together, accepting that as well even though you know it was a mistake to part. And also not in touch, basically by choice. I don't think either of us could handle it.

[Akira]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Me and my TF broke up just over a year ago now.
It has been quite the year since, healing.
The day after I got the news I went to stay with a friend for a few days, to be out of the house, away from memories, and to not be alone.
She's not the most gentle person in the world, which was exactly what I needed at the time to not sink in pain and sorrow. Her rather harsh way of dealing with it, although with lots of care and really being great and helpful, helped me to shift my focus to my future, my dreams & goals. Because of how she was, I couldn't wallow in self-pity, and boy, did that help!
I continued to do just that; allow myself to mourn and cry and feel the pain, but at the same time focus on my own life, my future & dreams.
I started an online course that could help with setting up my own business, considered a study. I set up my own websites, and in April gave my first online course myself.

Since the breakup we've been in touch via phone 3x and both still felt the bond. He was quite taken aback by that, but then he didn't know what we are.
Each time we were in touch, we immediately clicked again, as if we'd never been separated. That is tough.
In spite of all that, he stayed with the other woman he left me for.

At first I felt there was still a possibility for us to get back together. For some month and a half - 2 months.
I remember TF Tarot reader Nicole mentioning that, there being a window of opportunity for the DM to get his stuff together but that that window was closing fast. For good.
That resonated 100%. I knew, felt, in my system that if he wouldn't within that timeframe it would be it for this lifetime.
He didn't.
The window of opportunity did close. I could feel it.
I know we won't get back together again this life, and I also know it was a mistake, it wasn't supposed to have gone this way. He FU. It was not what we'd agreed before incarnation, but of course you always have free choice.

That's why I'm posting this, I've never heard this from anyone else.
Even thought there are absolutely no ill feelings, au contraire, we are not in touch. I wouldn't want to either. Too much to bear. I haven't seen him since anymore either, which is also good. I think if we'd see each other all the feelings will be there again full blast.
There's no point to that.
It doesn't hurt much anymore, although I doubt it will ever go away completely. I'm looking for new love, I feel I'm ready for that, at least to start dating again. That took me a long time.
I'm hoping to find a really great SM and to live happily ever after :)
It'd have to be a 'high' SM connection though, otherwise the gap would be too big. I know how effing wonderful a grand connection & love can feel. So the new love will have to be mega special as well or it's not going to work.

Just wondering if there are more like me, knowing you won;t come back together, accepting that as well even though you know it was a mistake to part. And also not in touch, basically by choice. I don't think either of us could handle it.

Hi Hun
Just wanted to say I agree with this, when tf's are incarnate together in a lifetime and they meet up, it's because they have contracted to be together.

So I've been talking to my guides about this and here is what they say:

'souls you contract to be together in this life, the free will part comes up too, if the emotions are too hard and one of you can't make it, then the door will close (as you said Fairy)... This is also an option, however you will meet again and the dance will play out again (next life, next time). This human life is a short stop in your evolution and your development. Keep remembering your love, your heart, and forgive that it did not work this time, forgive and move forward. You are never apart, always together. Eventual union with a twin is destiny.'

Sorry if it's a bit staccato, that's how my guides write - love to them...

Maybe mistake isn't the right word - there are no mistakes as such - my guides are saying there is just love - each soul has to be protected.

Me and mine are teetering on the will we stay together, will we split precipice - only time will tell. I accept whatever and I love The Universe for it's protection..

Oh and a cool yummy soul mate connection can definitely be in the stars for you

Love to you

[Inika]

WHat i discovered. he is the image of my soul. my soul is masculine. male. therefore I hold the DM vibration. I am the image of his soul that is female, he holds DF.
Because of this and both knowing and understanding this. we are able to constantly communicate. having an awareness on both ends helps.
he knows me better, i know him better. we are one another. the same reflection of whats within the other.
If the DF is more invested in romance and relationship. then you can gurantee the DM is more invested in the mission. The spiritual pursuit of the 'why' . if the DF needs and requires more physical and romantic relationships for whatever she needs this for. then she can have it. lessons? we dont know....but we do know its not for a laugh, a joke or for fun and games, for ego thrills. Whatever the DF thinks she needs. She cries out for her DM. He is busy spiritually, she may be busy in physical world. creating physical things and looking for him. They listen to one another at all times. but she is searching out in the world. how? maybe on tinder, maybe on social media sites, maybe in a bar or a club. but never in spirit. she dont want him in spirit, wants him in the real yet if she doesnt know him in spirit she wont find him in the real. and you dont find them in the real and say 'thats my spirit' because thats how you get it mixed up as all and so many always do. just search the history of this sub forum section for that evidence. if the feminine is moon and masculine is sun. then why the maff is she not listening to her moonly intuition? why is she searching under the physical active sun for something she cant see until she sees it within her first?

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Akira

Hi Hun
Just wanted to say I agree with this, when tf's are incarnate together in a lifetime and they meet up, it's because they have contracted to be together.

So I've been talking to my guides about this and here is what they say:

'souls you contract to be together in this life, the free will part comes up too, if the emotions are too hard and one of you can't make it, then the door will close (as you said Fairy)... This is also an option, however you will meet again and the dance will play out again (next life, next time). This human life is a short stop in your evolution and your development. Keep remembering your love, your heart, and forgive that it did not work this time, forgive and move forward. You are never apart, always together. Eventual union with a twin is destiny.'

Sorry if it's a bit staccato, that's how my guides write - love to them...

Maybe mistake isn't the right word - there are no mistakes as such - my guides are saying there is just love - each soul has to be protected.

Me and mine are teetering on the will we stay together, will we split precipice - only time will tell. I accept whatever and I love The Universe for it's protection..

Oh and a cool yummy soul mate connection can definitely be in the stars for you

Love to you

Thank you, Akira. I hope it'll work out for you!
I'm going for this great soul mate connection, hihi.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Inika

WHat i discovered. he is the image of my soul. my soul is masculine. male. therefore I hold the DM vibration. I am the image of his soul that is female, he holds DF.
Because of this and both knowing and understanding this. we are able to constantly communicate. having an awareness on both ends helps.
he knows me better, i know him better. we are one another. the same reflection of whats within the other.
If the DF is more invested in romance and relationship. then you can gurantee the DM is more invested in the mission. The spiritual pursuit of the 'why' . if the DF needs and requires more physical and romantic relationships for whatever she needs this for. then she can have it. lessons? we dont know....but we do know its not for a laugh, a joke or for fun and games, for ego thrills. Whatever the DF thinks she needs. She cries out for her DM. He is busy spiritually, she may be busy in physical world. creating physical things and looking for him. They listen to one another at all times. but she is searching out in the world. how? maybe on tinder, maybe on social media sites, maybe in a bar or a club. but never in spirit. she dont want him in spirit, wants him in the real yet if she doesnt know him in spirit she wont find him in the real. and you dont find them in the real and say 'thats my spirit' because thats how you get it mixed up as all and so many always do. just search the history of this sub forum section for that evidence. if the feminine is moon and masculine is sun. then why the maff is she not listening to her moonly intuition? why is she searching under the physical active sun for something she cant see until she sees it within her first?

Not entirely certain what you're trying to say, seems a lot of jumping to conclusions, but I could be wrong. Also not clear if you're speaking general or not.
As for me, just interested whether there's more TFs like me. Which is having been together, not together anymore, not coming together anymore this lifetime, being okay with that, not in touch (and not wanting that either), but still having to deal with ongoing feelings and the connection regardless as you move on with your life.

[Inika]

twins are always together. that is my point.

separation from a soul mate is not the same as a twin flame bond.
I am never not with my twin soul.

im one of the very few that understand this.

do you understand death of the physical?

[Inika]

i realise i am a twin soul and not everyone is twined at the soul.

some may feel separation. I do not. I am not separated from my soul and know my soul.

i am not 'looking' for someone to settle with in a relationship companionship because its not my soul urge. but i realise, everyone is different, feels, sees, senses different. your soul is not my soul. my soul is not your soul so how could we understand the others life?

i am not looking for people here to be on same page and level with so that im understood, supported. I know who I am. I am here to share. that can be ignored or not. its not my business who reads me or not.

we are not the same or experiencing the same spiritual connection. so i cant make sense to you fairy, i will never make sense to you.

I am integrated, independent and fierce. I am solo. I am free and no woman or man holds me down. This is why my soul serves me and loves me and knows me. This is why it never has and never will work out with anyone else.
Integration of me doesnt need someone else. If i wanna ride with him or him with me its a choice. not a need. if you try co-depedent stuff on me, you'll be left for dust. if you cant stand on your own or alone and master it, you'll constantly need another to hold you up. and when they walk off and away, you will fall. every time.

so no. you and i are not the same. i will never make sense to you.

[Ziusudra]

by FairyCrystal
In spite of all that, he stayed with the other woman he left me for.

No matter what the level and depth of soul connection is, one needs to exercise SELF LOVE.
The love that you learn through these soul connections, - you apply and give to yourself so you can thrive with your soul growth.
Wanting and attaching to the man who left you for another woman is not practicing self love.

by FairyCrystal
... knowing you won;t come back together, accepting that as well even though you know it was a mistake to part. .

Not a mistake. You may not know it yet while struggling to recover from him.
But it is a BLESSING because it is a lesson.

With the lesson from him, you will navigate your next relationship with your eyes wide open and your heart filled with wisdom. - and self love.

And also not in touch, basically by choice. I don't think either of us could handle it.

He left you to be with another woman. There is not a single reason why you need to be in touch with him.
Again. self love will guide you to self respect. You deserve better.

[Ghost_Rider_1970]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Me and my TF broke up just over a year ago now.
It has been quite the year since, healing.
The day after I got the news I went to stay with a friend for a few days, to be out of the house, away from memories, and to not be alone.
She's not the most gentle person in the world, which was exactly what I needed at the time to not sink in pain and sorrow. Her rather harsh way of dealing with it, although with lots of care and really being great and helpful, helped me to shift my focus to my future, my dreams & goals. Because of how she was, I couldn't wallow in self-pity, and boy, did that help!
I continued to do just that; allow myself to mourn and cry and feel the pain, but at the same time focus on my own life, my future & dreams.
I started an online course that could help with setting up my own business, considered a study. I set up my own websites, and in April gave my first online course myself.

Since the breakup we've been in touch via phone 3x and both still felt the bond. He was quite taken aback by that, but then he didn't know what we are.
Each time we were in touch, we immediately clicked again, as if we'd never been separated. That is tough.
In spite of all that, he stayed with the other woman he left me for.

At first I felt there was still a possibility for us to get back together. For some month and a half - 2 months.
I remember TF Tarot reader Nicole mentioning that, there being a window of opportunity for the DM to get his stuff together but that that window was closing fast. For good.
That resonated 100%. I knew, felt, in my system that if he wouldn't within that timeframe it would be it for this lifetime.
He didn't.
The window of opportunity did close. I could feel it.
I know we won't get back together again this life, and I also know it was a mistake, it wasn't supposed to have gone this way. He FU. It was not what we'd agreed before incarnation, but of course you always have free choice.

That's why I'm posting this, I've never heard this from anyone else.
Even thought there are absolutely no ill feelings, au contraire, we are not in touch. I wouldn't want to either. Too much to bear. I haven't seen him since anymore either, which is also good. I think if we'd see each other all the feelings will be there again full blast.
There's no point to that.
It doesn't hurt much anymore, although I doubt it will ever go away completely. I'm looking for new love, I feel I'm ready for that, at least to start dating again. That took me a long time.
I'm hoping to find a really great SM and to live happily ever after :)
It'd have to be a 'high' SM connection though, otherwise the gap would be too big. I know how effing wonderful a grand connection & love can feel. So the new love will have to be mega special as well or it's not going to work.

Just wondering if there are more like me, knowing you won;t come back together, accepting that as well even though you know it was a mistake to part. And also not in touch, basically by choice. I don't think either of us could handle it.

Hi FairyCrystal,

I must admit I don't post much on the forum anymore, as I typically see the same beautiful cycles (as each inividual journey is so special) repeating themselves - including how I was once so embroiled so intensly myself. Indeed, I see existing members evolving with new members joining and I do like to see the spiritual journeys that they embark on for their own self discovery.

Even so, I do come across some wonderful posts like yours that inspire and resonate with me in many ways - although possible a little differently too. If anything it is these differences that I find so special as this is where real learning lays. So we not only see someone else's viewpoint - but truly appreciate it - so helps validate own own inner understanding.

I really do feel for you so much FairyCrystal, as I completely relate to your heartbreak and appreciate you posting your heartfelt experience.

For me its been just over 3 years since we last had contact. I could message her if I wanted but the truth is she has moved on with her life, which I am so happy about. It means she can live her life without any regret and allows me to focus on my own life direction and wellbeing. As while this has been the hardest 3 years of my life I have learned so much about myself too. Where a significant life lesson I learned from following our connection is that if we are not careful we can become so lost and consumed in spiritual practices so are then blinded from the truth of actual reality. In very simply spiritual terms, it is from our separation I came to find that the Universe is each of us, where we are each the Universe.

When we come to know this in our heart of hearts there is nothing else we need to pursue. As to do so brings beliefs and definitions - so in turn brings inhibitions, constraints and restrictions. In my view, the complete opposite of what spirituality is all about. Especially the misnomer of the Twin Flame concept. Where this takes us away from our true self, by suggesting we are incomplete - when each of us is perfect and complete for who we are.

Although others can help and guide us, we also don't require any validation from anyone else. Especially spiritual practitioners. As this gives an illusion of superiority - when we each have all the knowledge we need from within.

So while my Spiritual Catalyst (for want of a better term) no longer plays the starring role in my life, I take comfort from knowing she gave me all she could - as I gave my all to her. As does anyone who we have a relationship with. It's just that sometimes someone can't give what the other person desires. It is for this reason that our separation also enabled me to realise that we each have our own Free Will. So while I will always respect her and the views of others, I find myself looking beyond the fallacy of reincarnation; past lives; life after death; mediumship; spirit guides; angels; Twin Flames; and there being a separate God.

Well, I think I've pretty much taken the conventional meaning of Spirituality apart there!

What I've come to realise is that these are for self validation - when we see ourselves as separate to the Universe. It goes back to my point if we see ourselves as the Universe, so that our time - our life experience - is NOW. So as we die and go back to the Universe, someone else as the Universe has their life experience. So while our own consciousness will dissipate, another is created. This is true reincarnation, and true eternity. Not us as isolated individuals, but each of us as the Universe.

To be honest this is something I would have never questioned if it wasn't for our separation, where it was our paths initially crossing (not by design, pre-planned, or by chance - but organically) that started my Search For The Truth - and to ask the greatest question of all: "Who am I?".

I mention this as this is my spiritual journey, started by my Spiritual Catalyst. Although it is up to me who I allow into my heart - as I am the starring role in my life - as you are the starring role in yours. So who you allow into your life, and at what level is, is entirely up to you. Where the most beautiful relationships are the ones without definition - without expectation. I really do hope that this is something you would like and find for yourself FairyCrystal. A different kind of love maybe, but one that not only equals what you had but gives you something special, new and unique.

I appreciate that what I've written may go against a lot of what others may think, and possibly appear a little controversial even. I promise my intention is never to overshadow the beliefs of others. It is just that I had a choice. To live in the shadow of spiritual convention, or to listen with love and an open mind - the most precious gift my Spiritual Catalyst gave me. This way I could break from the mould and evolve without any prejudices or reservations.

Where I do hope that as you continue on your Life Path the Universe gives you everything you so richly deserve and so much more. As it is true when they say the world doesn't revolve around us.

It's the entire Universe!

[FairyCrystal]

Thank you all. I wasn't looking for advice though. And like I said, I've had a whole year of healing and moving on, so I'm not wallowing in pain.
From what I've noticed in my years online on fora, I'm not like most people who don't make a recovery after a breakup, but continue to stay in their pain, can't let go and move on. I'm not like that, not even with a TF breakup.
I was just wondering if there were people in the same situation.

Which is having been together, not together anymore, not coming together anymore this lifetime, being okay with that, not in touch (and not wanting that either), but still having to deal with ongoing feelings and the connection regardless as you move on with your life.

Let me add "Without being all melodramatic about it" hihi. I guess what it comes down to is, "with the ability to heal, let go, move on, and be happy again."

I hadn't expected the question to be so difficult, but thanks everyone for taking the time respond anyway. If my story & question help others to work through theirs, that's good.