“Clingy and needy?”: Perspective wanted

Most people here are compassionate because of our regard for people and their development, the woes they suffer and sometimes their feeling of isolation. Sometimes their woes are big.

But is compassion really necessary here? You have little to be compassionate about. When we date people it's a fair bet that some simply won't be right for us. So we have to say goodbye early. There has been no relationship, just an encounter.

You and this guy aren't beholden to each other at all. Just one or two dates in the wake of which you feel uncomfortable? One of you has to end it before it's propped up by pretences. Presumably you haven't engaged in anything carnal so that isn't a factor.

Leading a spiritual life doesn't mean you have to feel sorry for anyone who walks into your life with a pack of ready-made expectations. You date him. Is he expecting commitment simply because of that?

But I'm just of a different opinion. I lead what I think is a very spiritual life short of being an ascetic. Life has its practicalities and it's sometimes better to stick to one's honest appraisal and act accordingly. It does a greater spiritual service to oneself and the other person. Save the compassion for those who deserve it. If you feel this guy isn't for you be careful that compassion doesn't turn into condescension.


But I wish you the best in sorting this out - to both your benefits.

[starling]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Most people here are compassionate because of our regard for people and their development, the woes they suffer and sometimes their feeling of isolation. Sometimes their woes are big.

But is compassion really necessary here? You have little to be compassionate about. When we date people it's a fair bet that some simply won't be right for us. So we have to say goodbye early. There has been no relationship, just an encounter.

You and this guy aren't beholden to each other at all. Just one or two dates in the wake of which you feel uncomfortable? One of you has to end it before it's propped up by pretences. Presumably you haven't engaged in anything carnal so that isn't a factor.

Leading a spiritual life doesn't mean you have to feel sorry for anyone who walks into your life with a pack of ready-made expectations. You date him. Is he expecting commitment simply because of that?

But I'm just of a different opinion. I lead what I think is a very spiritual life short of being an ascetic. Life has its practicalities and it's sometimes better to stick to one's honest appraisal and act accordingly. It does a greater spiritual service to oneself and the other person. Save the compassion for those who deserve it. If you feel this guy isn't for you be careful that compassion doesn't turn into condescension.


But I wish you the best in sorting this out - to both your benefits.

I've certainly haven't detected any "condescension" in this lady's approach. I'm uncertain why you should think there might be.

YOu strike me as being a very confident individual, not very one is so fortunate.

I think it's important that people feel able to ask such questions in dealing with any matter........even one you might feel to be completely straightforwards.

Originally Posted by David F

I've certainly haven't detected any "condescension" in this lady's approach. I'm uncertain why you should think there might be.

That's because you aren't a composer.

YOu strike me as being a very confident individual, not very one is so fortunate.

Don't we all in our different engagements display shades between diffidence and confidence. In this case it must be the Leo in me! Through time I've met a few "prospective" dates but tend not to give in to sentiment in the early stages. One learns..... Difficult because I'm acutely romantic. The Leo thing in romance is "leap before you look" so I have to avoid that like the plague!!

I think it's important that people feel able to ask such questions in dealing with any matter........even one you might feel to be completely straightforwards.

Absolutely. As I said in my ultimate response, it was my opinion which is different. On the information given, I find it straightforward. Others have responded differently. On different information my response would likely be different. It's up to the o/p to weigh up the responses given, rejecting mine outright if she chooses.

I try to keep my feet on the ground.