my wife has found her twin flame

[taurusnsane]

controling yourself yes, but the situation. it is out of your hand to control it. and at the start of this journey, i wanna see how many hands will be up and they can say that they controlled their emotions, desires, pulls? i think it will be very few. when you are going through it slowly, then also you will be able to control your emotions and chasing/running but still, the situation is not controllable.

cmon, sexual violarot example? HOW IS THIS THE SAME AS TWIN CONNECTION? geezus..

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

controling yourself yes, but the situation. it is out of your hand to control it. and at the start of this journey, i wanna see how many hands will be up and they can say that they controlled their emotions, desires, pulls? i think it will be very few. when you are going through it slowly, then also you will be able to control your emotions and chasing/running but still, the situation is not controllable.

cmon, sexual violarot example? HOW IS THIS THE SAME AS TWIN CONNECTION? geezus..

I said it's on a par with it. Someone can't control themselves or their situation.
Let's take a less spiked example then. A tourettes sufferer can't control a situation where he swears at an employer's client? How d'you think the employer would respond? Is that so very different? Claiming you can't do anything about the situation when you are that situation is plain sophistry.

In a case like cafedoc123's it's utterly selfish to risk breaking up his family, his wife, his kiddies because someone capitalises on they can't control the situation so they just plough ahead with it.

Well, I asked my b/f what if some guy suddenly pronounced me his twin flame and kept hanging around hoping to redirect my "love". "I'll soon tell him what's what!" he said!
He also said men don't go in for that sort of thing anyway unless they can't hook a woman without a con.
...

[Emm]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I can't believe what I've just read either. Are you seriously saying that you can't control yourself?

That's on a par with a sexual violator claiming he was unable to control himself. The fact that one is carnal and the other emotional doesn't matter. It's a principle.

Makes me glad we have laws against this sort of thing in the UK!

I say again to cafedoc123 - get this bloke sorted out. You have a lot to lose should trust get fractured. At least tell him that if he breaks anything up, the kids come with the deal.

...

I dont think violence is the answer my friend and of course there is control, thats why there is so much pain because what your being wants and "doing what you feel to be right" are two totally different things.

Cafedoc123...Understanding what was happening was the first thing I needed to do and four years into this I feel clearer and cope pretty well.

Everything that exists, including us are conscious energy. We are only an extended portion of our greater self and....we are not the only incarnation of our greater self either. There are portions in all dimensions but also here in our own time frame. Because they are of the same energy as ourself when we are in close proximity its a bit like two magnets that are drawn together, the pull is immense, the energies just want to merge as one again. In close proximity your energy is heightened which also can give you glimpses of your greater self, you become aware of phenomena thats not what we call the norm.

Its easy to mistake it as a romantic connection because the love and the pull to one another is so great, but I dont feel this is what the encounter is about. Its a catalytic event that opens our eyes to something much deeper within ourselves and when we delve into our own being we begin to understand ...and accept.

I am married, and it happened to me. My twin and I are in touch, touching base every now and then, Ive never crossed the line, in fact I have never spoken to him about this. I am more than happy to move on with my life with my own family setting delving into my own truths. She will get there, she just needs to look deeper into herself and ask the questions. I believe that on some level you know this for yourself which is why youre ok with it. Hes not a threat, she just needs to look in the right place for answers.

[RedRose]

I agree with Taurusnsane...You can try to control yourself by moving/ relocating as far as you can from your TF...But yea, can't control the magnetic pull nor the emotions/ feelings they evoke when your TF is near you.

I've always been a logical woman (yes, I've been accused by many of my boyfriends, even my husband, of being like Spock in the Star Trek movies..lol) and this TF connection has blown me away...I literally FELT the magnetic pull from my chest when my TF was about 1 foot to 1.5 feet away (facing full frontal to each other) and had the eye-lock simultaneously and I thought to myself "What the heck was that?!?!"...Then I FELT all these overwhelming feelings of pure unconditional love for this kid (my TF is only 18 y/o and I'm 47 y/o) whom I didn't know, I don't even know his last name for pete's sake!!...And I SAW this pure love expression on his face and I thought to myself "What was that?!..Am I seeing things??"...I noticed all these things before I even looked up these things to even know what these were...Now, I can usually reason things away or put them in proper categories...But none, and I stress NONE, of these things are what I've come across as earthbound human occurrences in my entire 47 yrs...And I believe in my gut instincts (it's never been wrong) when it tells me this stuff is real...I was able to try to reason everything out, EXCEPT for the eye-lock part where I was staring into what I thought were his eyes but all I can recall visually was I was staring into darkness, like the Abyss....I can't for the life of me recall seeing any eyes!...So I assumed his eyes were dark...Till the next time (which was also the last time I saw him cuz he ran!..lol) I saw him, he was not full frontal - he stood side ways and looked at me, his eyes were mint green!!!...Now, try to explain that to my logical brain on why the heck don't I recall that one iota!?!..lol

I recently met a Mom of a fellow student in my son's class who confirmed all this because she's known her TF for 25 yrs and she KNEW the exact occurances that happened in my situation (down to exact detail) before I even told her any details...She and her TF are not together, they're married to other people with whom they have kids with, even though she's known her TF since High School..But her family and her TFs family get together annually because they still have the same friends...She says she and her TF still get the eye-lock (w/ the world fading, etc) every single time they're at these gatherings..........She'd explained to me that the "darkness" I saw was his Soul - that our Souls met...And the eye-lock happens because your same Soul(s) want to be together...Which makes sense...Because soon after the eye-lock, I felt like I KNEW this kid...For the life of me, I didn't understand why I KNEW him all of a sudden...........But after some research, I found some answers...When you study the eyes...The pupil expands when you see something you're attracted to, etc...Well, if you're only 1.5 foot facing full frontal at eye level (eye-to-eye), you're pretty much going to peer into the other person's "windows to the soul"..lol..And when your Soul(s) match up, you'll lock...Even science is working in conjunction with this TF/SC thing...lol...This is just one discovery so far...I haven't had much time to delve into other aspects because that eye-lock was the only one factor I could not reason out, logically..lol

Now, I know not everyone gets this eye-lock thing but I'm sure it's similar to when your "energy" aligns up with your TF's or SC's energy..:)....All this TF/SC stuff just goes to show us that there's something bigger than us at work here...That you are not all-knowing..It reminds us to be humble and be open to other aspects of the universe.........Anyhow, it's been a fascinating journey so far...;)

[cafedoc123]

Just a quick note of clarification: the guy in question is not pursuing my wife in any way; if anything, he seems to mostly distance himself from her. It is my wife's attraction to him that is the puzzle, not only for me, but for her as well.

Again, I am hoping that this will resolve in some relatively easy fashion, where we all gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. Surprisingly, as I think I have mentioned, it actually has led to a more open and intimate relationship between my wife and I.

[tveg11]

Hi cafedoc, I'm just going to pipe in with my experience of having met my twin and then further down the line getting into a relationship with somebody else.

Regarding my relationship and connection with my current partner - it is not comparable to my connection with my twin; I cannot say that it is. But that doesn't diminish my deep love for him, my intense attraction to him, or any of the countless reasons that I choose to be with him. Indeed, it gives me a much greater capacity to love and appreciate him, and makes me an infinitely better partner to him than I would have otherwise been.

My twin is not in a position to offer me any of the things that my partner does, and so is no threat whatsoever to my relationship. In the event that he did show up one day offering everything my partner offers, then yes, that would be a different story. But that's not so different to every other relationship in the world. I don't believe marriage is a guarantee - we should always be free to choose in my opinion. You know why your wife chooses you. The connection she's experiencing with this other man has nothing to do with any of that.

If you're feeling a need for a guarantee in your marriage, I would suggest that maybe that's where you need to start healing. But I can reassure you that, if you guys keep dealing with the situation you're in maturely, there's no reason to see it as a threat. All it will do is open your wife up more to true unconditional love - for everyone. Which in turn I've no doubt will give you a greater understanding of it too. And so, yes, it has the capacity to massively deepen, strengthen, and expand your connection with each other, rather than damaging it.

That being said, it took me a year and a half of very dedicated inner work to get to a position where I was truly detached from any outcomes with my twin; before I really got to the point where I could let go of him and enjoy the connection for what it is, which is a deeper connection to myself. Throughout that time I was often an emotional wreck, swinging wildly from high to low, and often no good to anyone. So you could be in for a rough ride for a while. But over time, as I learned to deal with it, the extremes became steadily less so. Everybody's experience is different but I'm sure with your wife's clear resolve to move through this and with the support system you offer her, you'll both come out of the other side better.

I hope this can help you a little bit.

[Aldous]

I remember reading a story by Inajarbythedoor on the astrostar forum back around 2002 about how she said she was married and discovered her cousin was her twin and ended up getting a divorce after asking her husband for the divorce. There's a lot of twin soul stories going way back at the astrostar forums.

I tried googling "Inajarbythedoor astrostar", but can't find the post.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by cafedoc123

tl;dr--my wife has found her twin flame in another man, and I'm not sure how to understand that. Any thoughts and observations would be appreciated.

Hello,

Twin flames are also twin souls with soul related agendas. We humans put everything into physical categories and tend to exclude our divine and/or spiritual aspirations.

Now if you can understand such a thing, then your wife's relationship with her twin can be seen as a very good friendship.

It is true that emotions will come into play however even those can be put into a more elevated perspective. Soul bonds are forever yet they are not exclusionary. Your soul bond with your wife is at the same spiritual level as with her twin. The souls in each of you know this. It would be nice if all involved also understood that.

John

[kapamati1]

Cafedoc123 I just wanted to say that you are more evolved than you know. Your wife is VERY lucky to have someone understand and deal with this. IF what happened to me was this type of thing..it is now in permanent limbo. The more I look at myself, the more I realize this was about MY growth. At least for me. I know that sounds kind of narcissistic. But, no. Like I said, I'm not sure what on earth this "connection" I feel is...but, it does rock your world. Oh how I wish during the worst part of that time I would have had a husband like you. I could have NEVER told him. That is a story in itself that I do not wish to share. But, it sounds like whatever happens you two will be honest and supportive to each other. That is GOLD in my book. Good luck to you, your wife and children. And just remember, if you truly love someone in any capacity, all you want is for them to be happy.

[awakeningheart]

Originally Posted by tveg11

Hi cafedoc, I'm just going to pipe in with my experience of having met my twin and then further down the line getting into a relationship with somebody else.

Regarding my relationship and connection with my current partner - it is not comparable to my connection with my twin; I cannot say that it is. But that doesn't diminish my deep love for him, my intense attraction to him, or any of the countless reasons that I choose to be with him. Indeed, it gives me a much greater capacity to love and appreciate him, and makes me an infinitely better partner to him than I would have otherwise been.

My twin is not in a position to offer me any of the things that my partner does, and so is no threat whatsoever to my relationship. In the event that he did show up one day offering everything my partner offers, then yes, that would be a different story. But that's not so different to every other relationship in the world. I don't believe marriage is a guarantee - we should always be free to choose in my opinion. You know why your wife chooses you. The connection she's experiencing with this other man has nothing to do with any of that.

If you're feeling a need for a guarantee in your marriage, I would suggest that maybe that's where you need to start healing. But I can reassure you that, if you guys keep dealing with the situation you're in maturely, there's no reason to see it as a threat. All it will do is open your wife up more to true unconditional love - for everyone. Which in turn I've no doubt will give you a greater understanding of it too. And so, yes, it has the capacity to massively deepen, strengthen, and expand your connection with each other, rather than damaging it.

That being said, it took me a year and a half of very dedicated inner work to get to a position where I was truly detached from any outcomes with my twin; before I really got to the point where I could let go of him and enjoy the connection for what it is, which is a deeper connection to myself. Throughout that time I was often an emotional wreck, swinging wildly from high to low, and often no good to anyone. So you could be in for a rough ride for a while. But over time, as I learned to deal with it, the extremes became steadily less so. Everybody's experience is different but I'm sure with your wife's clear resolve to move through this and with the support system you offer her, you'll both come out of the other side better.

I hope this can help you a little bit.

Everything you said here my friend - what a wonderful and honest post. I too experienced almost everything you wrote about. For me the highs and lows ('the rollercoaster') lasted almost 3 years. I now have a deeper understanding of myself and of my relationship with both TF AND my husband. Thankfully, my husband gave me the safe place to do that. In the end, it is about unconditional love...hard to wrap your head around it sometimes when our social norms make us believe that there is just 'one' person out there who is our soulmate.